Somewhere in Between
by Swordy Rides Again
Summary: Crash and Burn Arc. A chance encounter causes the start of an obsession that will threaten Dee and Ryo's relationship, their work and maybe even their lives. Updated with final chapter 22nd November.
1. Prologue

**Author's note – Well, it finally begins. For those that don't know, this fic is a sequel to 'Crash and Burn', the story that I lived and breathed for several months of 2003. Elements of 'Crash' will be found in this little tale, so I suggest reading that first.**

**The story kicks off immediately after ****Dee**** and Ryo's wedding, with the McLain family about to embark on their new life together. I make no apologies about ripping up the original timeline and for spellings of names etc – I started life as a FAKE author long before the manga was translated and I'm not about to change things now. Sorry for the rant, but I'm fed up of having things pointed out to me by people new to the fandom.**

**Thanks as usual go to Peacewish, whose sharp eye and even sharper brain will keep me making sense and hopefully, telling a good tale. Reviews as always are hugely appreciated – they keep the computer switched on and the fingers typing and I can't stress enough how grateful I am for them. All that's left for me to say is, enjoy! -Swordy**

**Warnings – Yaoi goodness, language badness! Oh, and some angst I guess…**

**Somewhere in Between**

Prologue

"Dee?"

"What?"

"Where's all the stuff you just bought?"

"Kitchen counter."

There was silence for a moment, other than the sound of booted feet moving from the living room into the kitchen, followed by the rustle of paper.

"Dee?"

"What?"

"Where are the herbal teabags?"

"Shit," Dee muttered quietly, standing quickly and banging his head on the shelf inside their wardrobe. He swore again as he rubbed the spot ruefully, before realising Ryo was still waiting for an answer. "I uh… I guess I forgot them."

He winced as he pictured Ryo's expression. It wasn't the first time he'd forgotten to pick up his lover's herbal teabags; indeed, he'd gone to the shop specifically to purchase them, along with the other items he'd forgotten to buy when Ryo had sent him out the day before.

"Sorry, baby," Dee called from the bedroom, pushing the many CDs that he'd scattered over the floor into a heap before snatching up his car keys. "I'll go and get them for you."

As he exited the bedroom, Ryo was already at the front door. "It's okay, I'll get them," the blond said with a smile as he rolled his eyes. "You'll probably come back with another bagful of things you never knew you wanted until you got there."

Dee grinned sheepishly, pushing his tangled black hair off his face. "Am I really that bad?"

"The worst," Ryo replied with a firm nod, before he pulled Dee in for a quick kiss. They both came away smiling. "You finish getting your stuff together then we should be ready to leave by the time I'm back."

"Sure thing, partner," Dee replied, giving a mock salute.

"That's _husband_ to you."

"Fine, now go before I invoke my rights as your husband and insist that we have sexual intercourse, right now."

Ryo arched one fine blond eyebrow. "I don't remember that in the vows."

"Sure it was," Dee replied with a dismissive wave of the hand as he headed back towards the bedroom to finish selecting which CDs he wanted to take on their honeymoon. "Right between the parts about the um, you know, riches and sickness and stuff."

He smiled at the sound of his lover laughing out loud as he let himself out of the apartment. It was a wonderful sound; a smooth velvety melody that lifted the heart and cheered the soul. The next week would hopefully yield many more laughs.

Their honeymoon was a week of compromise taking place in the state of Nevada; three nights in Las Vegas at Dee's insistence followed by three days of relaxation at Lake Tahoe; Ryo's choice of course. It was sure to be the perfect sequel to their wedding that had taken place two days previously, and as Dee continued to throw things into his holdall on the bed, he couldn't help but grin at the thought of a whole week of quality 'Dee and Ryo time'.

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Laura Burns logged off her computer and shoved several files back into her in-tray. They could wait until tomorrow. The pay was criminal and she wasn't about to give the company any more of her time than necessary by staying back to finish them. She retrieved her bag from her employee locker and pulled on her coat before heading to the door. Nobody said goodbye to her. There were at least four other employees huddled around the doorway, indulging in a snatched cigarette break as she passed but none made eye contact or even acknowledged her departure. Not that she particularly cared. They were all stupid, brainless college students who made vacuous conversation about their equally vacuous lives; all the while pretending that they were cultured and intelligent because they had stayed in education beyond high school. She could do without friends like that.

Sometimes, in moments of weakness, she wondered if she was too picky about her choice of friends. She knew her standards were high; so high in fact that she was utterly devoid of friendship, and had been for most of her life. For the most part however, she was content to be alone, determined not to let the inane and shallow members of her peer group drag her down.

She wasn't unattractive by any means. Twenty years old with an enviable figure and a face that although wasn't classically beautiful, certainly merited more than a fleeting glance. Most with such features would try to make the best of them but not Laura. Her large almond shaped eyes, a bluish grey in colour, were hidden behind unfashionable glasses that aged her youthful good looks. Her hair was a warm and sandy blonde but always scraped back into a severe bun that sharpened her features, making her look sullen and unapproachable. It wasn't that she was ignorant to fashion and self grooming; she simply chose to look that way.

As she joined the main street, she thought bitterly of the shift she had just finished. Kelly Capland, that Australian bitch with her long blonde hair and flawless complexion. _Damn_, she hated working a shift with her. Kelly had this way of looking at her that seemed to laugh and say 'I'm prettier and more popular than you and everyone knows it.' All the male employees fancied her and the customers, both male and female, seemed to like her stupid, perfect toothed grin; ensuring that she was always chosen to work the front desk, rather than being stuck in the background on the telephone. She went on and on about how she was always being hassled for dates and how their boss had told her she showed 'great promise'; obviously enjoying rubbing Laura's nose in it as often as she could.

Laura knew Kelly would be promoted before her, despite having only joined the company three months ago. Laura herself had worked there since leaving school, but no one had singled her out for great things. 'Try to smile more', Kelly had said helpfully one day. Laura knew it wasn't about smiling. She never got promoted because she wasn't prepared to open her legs to the ones with power. That was her theory anyway. At least she held the moral high ground.

She was so busy being bitter about her colleague that she didn't have time to react when someone barged into her and latched firmly onto the canvas bag she used as a handbag. They succeeded in wrenching it from her grip, but not before she had tumbled to the floor, letting out a cry of surprise. Her glasses skittered away down the street as she watched her bag disappearing into the distance, tucked under the arm of an unidentified assailant. Nobody offered to help her up and she had to make a grab for her glasses before someone stood on them. Cursing the loss of her belongings, she stood and began to wipe the dirt from her pants.

"Excuse me, ma'am, is this yours?"

She looked up to see her canvas bag dangling in front of her, one of the straps broken. She then looked past the bag to the person holding it, ready to say her thanks, but the words caught in her throat. In front of her stood the most beautiful man she had seen in her life, bar none.

"I'm really sorry it got broken," the man said apologetically, handing over the bag before he swept a hand through his dark blond hair. "I think everything's still inside though."

She barely heard what he said as he looked at her in concern; his eyes were so dark she'd have sworn they were black. "Are _you_ okay though?"

Finally, she found her voice. "Yes… thank you." Seeing she was okay he looked as if he was about to leave. In one arm he carried a bag of groceries and he was obviously on his way home. Laura panicked, not wanting him to go.

"Can I buy you a drink?" she said quickly, flushing at how forward she sounded. "To say thank you, I mean."

"That's very kind but I'm afraid I'm in a hurry. I'm glad you're okay though."

Before she could think of any other way to stall him, he had gone, weaving through the crowds and disappearing from view.

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Despite their meeting lasting a mere matter of minutes, Laura quickly became infatuated with the image of the man that had saved her that day. Her blond hero. At work and out and about, she constantly kept her eye open for him, hoping that if she had seen him once in this neck of the woods, then she would be fortunate enough to see him again, hopefully long enough to catch his name this time. As the days passed, her hopes started to fade. She wouldn't be lucky to see an angel like that twice.

She wasn't to know the man in question was on vacation; honeymoon in fact with the man he loved more deeply than life itself. As she lay in her bed replaying their chance encounter, she wasn't to know that at that exact same moment, her hero was making love to his new husband, slowly and passionately in their hotel room.

And if she'd known for a minute, as she daydreamed at work about what their second meeting would be like, that her blond beauty was being fucked senseless up against the wall, moaning his lover's name over and over as the man in question drove into him repeatedly, she would have been horrified. But she didn't; and so her memory of him remained untarnished.

She had been 'interested' in people before; celebrities mainly. Still, she detested the way that others her age pored over gossip magazines, shrieking about revelations that were almost always spurious. She was different. She liked to find out the genuine stuff; where they shopped, what they ate, not whom they were reportedly sleeping with. Despite everything she learned about her fixations, they were always out of reach; loving and being loved by goddess-like women that were celebrities in their own right. But this was different. She could make this man _hers_.

Almost a week later, she received something of a shock. Making a rare trip into the employee lounge to get some water from the cooler during her eight hour shift, she was pretending to be interested in a discarded copy of the _New York Enquirer_ so she didn't have to talk to anyone when something caught her eye. A photo of a man… _her_ _man_, adorning the third page, which had been folded over so it looked as if it was on the front page instead. It was fate, she thought excitedly; if it had been folded properly then she probably wouldn't have seen it. When no one was looking, she snatched up the paper and hurried back to her desk with it, her heart racing as she located the article attached to the photograph.

_Gay Cops at Centre of Goldsmith Kidnapping Case Wed._

_Two detectives at the heart of the scandal surrounding celebrity millionaire Henry Goldsmith were 'married' at a church service attended by their friends and families on the 14th of September. Detective Randy McLain, 30, pictured here, wed his partner Detective Dee Latener, 29, following the successful outcome of the well-publicised trial. During the investigation leading up to the arrest of Henry Goldsmith, Detective Latener was abducted and held prisoner for almost a week by a suspect involved in the scandal. He survived life-threatening injuries and returned to work two months later._

_Neither of the 'grooms' were available for comment but a well-wisher said: 'it's wonderful to see them both so happy after everything they've been through.' When asked for their opinion on the controversial issue of gay marriages, the same well-wisher replied, 'Do you think I'd be here if I had a problem with it? If two people want to be together then what does it matter if they're gay or straight?'_

Laura looked up from the newspaper in her hand, her blue-grey eyes narrowed in anger. "_Gay_?" was all she muttered as she balled the news sheet in her hands.

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"Have you seen this?" Dee asked, rolling over in bed to where Ryo was reading his book. The blond man looked up to see the newspaper thrust under his nose, more specifically the article Dee was pointing at. Without focusing on the words, he recognised the photograph; it showed both of them leaving the courthouse on the day the Goldsmith guilty verdict had been announced. The headline above it read '_New York__: Goldsmith_ _Gay Detectives take advantage of Church Blessings for Homosexual Couples._'

Ryo scanned the article as Dee rolled back over to his cigarettes and lit one contentedly. He knew they'd find out; after all, one of the legal conditions of Dee changing his name was that the change had to be published in a specific paper, namely the _New York Post_. It figured that every newspaper throughout the country would soon find out and be interested to some extent because of the connections to Henry Goldsmith. Interest in the case in general had been rekindled recently because the millionaire's wife was starring in a new film that had wowed the critics and was doing brilliantly at the box office.

"What d'you think?" Dee asked eventually.

"I think, that I didn't realise you'd already turned thirty," Ryo replied, looking across at him and smiling as he pointed to the appropriate text.

"_What_?" Dee was over like a shot, cigarette dangling between his lips. "Bastards… they could have at least got my age right. Twenty nine, okay? _Twenty nine._"

"Aw, what's the matter, baby?" Ryo teased, "Don't wanna be thirty?"

"No," Dee pouted. "Thirty is _old_."

"Old? Well, _excuse_ me. Maybe you should go and find yourself some bright young thing…"

"And pass up age and experience? No thanks."

Ryo raised his eyebrow. 'Experienced' wasn't a term he'd use to describe himself, at least not until he'd met Dee. "Dee McLain, are you poking fun at me?"

Dee's look of innocent indignation made him laugh. "Would I?" Dee asked, before his expression changed to a low down dirty grin. "Or maybe you're saying you'd like a few more lessons? There's nothing like a little 'hands-on' experience, you know."

Ryo took off his reading glasses, knowing that argument was futile when Dee was in hunting mode. Still, it was fun to make him _think _that he might not succeed. It made for some nice attention and the blond viewed it as a huge ego boost that his lover was prepared to try so hard to turn him on, not that he needed help getting into any sort of state of arousal when Dee was around…

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"Thank you, you've been most helpful."

Laura put the phone down and smiled, gazing at the address written on her pad. She tapped the pen thoughtfully a couple of times before underlining the neat cursive script. Since she'd discovered her obsession's name in the newspaper article, she'd managed to find out a whole load more information about him, including where he worked, and just then, where he lived. Apparently he had an adopted son. That was inconvenient, since she had only ever planned a future around the two of them, but she wouldn't worry about that just yet. First she would make Randy hers, then she would figure out what to do about the brat. Her first priority however, was removing Randy from his current relationship. She'd gotten over the shock of finding out he was gay by consoling herself with the knowledge that plenty of people went through gay 'phases'. She was now convinced.

This man, this _Latener_ character was obviously just a phase. Sure, she could see the attraction as she studied the colour photograph of him that she had gotten from the periodicals section at the library; he was extremely handsome in a roguish kind of way but Randy, her blond angel, was way out of his league. Randy had a wholesome look; a cleanness about him that was diminishing every day that he lived this lie. He wasn't really attracted to men and she would prove it to him. He needed a woman and Laura had convinced herself that she would be that woman.

All she needed was a way in.

TBC…


	2. Man's Best Friend

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 1 – Man's Best Friend

_Two months later…_

Dee glanced across at his lover and frowned. Ryo looked nervous and he couldn't for the life of him work out why. As the day had gone by, Dee had started to notice a pattern. When he left their office, Ryo would be wading through the mountains of paperwork that had never gone down since they'd returned from their honeymoon over two months previously, but when he came back, Ryo would be on the phone, making a call that would end almost as soon as Dee stepped through the door. Then there was the guilty look that followed the setting down of the receiver. Dee knew it well; only this time Ryo hadn't shrunk his favourite shirt or made plans for them to go out when there was a Knicks game on TV. Something was going on, and Dee had no idea what it was.

In his heart, he knew it wouldn't be a bad thing; Ryo would never hurt him and he trusted him with his life, but twinges of paranoia, an almost forgotten symptom of his PTSD would occasionally cause him to doubt himself. The therapy he had received in England helped him deal with those infrequent blips, but it still preyed on his mind on the rare occasions when Ryo was keeping something from him.

Come to think of it, Ryo _had_ been mysterious on several occasions over the last month. Shaking his head in frustration, Dee pushed himself out of his chair and headed for the door.

"Going for coffee," he muttered to no one in particular. Drake was coming in as he left the room and he nodded a greeting as he passed the other man, which wasn't returned.

"What's up with him?" Drake asked, frowning at Ryo as he sat down.

Ryo looked concerned. "He suspects something. I should really tell him, Drake. I don't want him to think it's something bad."

Drake understood the blond's concerns but still shook his head. "It's only one more day, Ryo. Don't tell him. Trust me, it'll be worth it."

Ryo smiled eventually, trying to imagine his husband's expression when all would be revealed. "I hope so."

The day in question dawned clear and bright. Thursday, the seventeenth of November and also Dee's thirtieth birthday. Lovemaking had been the first item on the birthday boy's agenda and Ryo had willingly obliged, ensuring that his lover left their bed with a huge smile on his face as they dressed for work. As they ate breakfast, Dee opened cards and presents that had arrived steadily over the course of the last few days.

From Bicky and Cal, Dee received a New York Knicks jersey with 'McLain' across the back above a large number thirty. Dee laughed as he held it up before opening the present Ryo slid across the table towards him. It was a denim jacket; an expensive one that he'd seen several weeks ago when they were out shopping together. It had fitted like a dream when he'd tried it on but he'd put it back on the rack, citing the cost despite casting several long lingering glances at it through the shop window as they walked away. The fact that Ryo remembered how much he had wanted it and had gone back afterwards made Dee smile.

"Thanks, baby," he said with a grin, hugging Ryo tightly and giving him a quick kiss before he pulled the jacket on over the black t-shirt he intended to wear for work. "How'd I look?"

Ryo smiled. "Very sexy."

Bicky, who at that moment was walking past the kitchen, stopped and rolled his eyes. "Oh, get a room! I thought things were supposed to go downhill when you got married."

Ryo raised an eyebrow at his son's cynicism.

"Not _this_ marriage," Dee snorted as he reeled Ryo in for another kiss.

More cards and gifts followed their arrival at the precinct and Dee was having such a good day that he completely forgot about Ryo's suspicious behaviour the day before. He knew Ryo had arranged a party for Saturday night so he presumed his lover would have booked them into an expensive restaurant so they could dine romantically on their own that evening. However, when six o'clock had rolled around and Ryo hadn't told him to go and get dressed or sent Bicky on his way, he was beginning to wonder what was going on. Ryo, for his part, seemed on edge about something; his expression only transforming into one of relief when the doorbell rang.

The blond man jumped up from where they were entangled on the couch together, ignoring the curious look on his lover's face as he crossed the room. Bicky also looked confused, indicating to Dee that whatever was going on, the boy wasn't aware of it either.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it," Dee heard Ryo say before he closed the door.

"Who was that?" the dark haired man asked as he reached for another cigarette. When he didn't get a response, he turned to see his lover wearing a strange, unreadable expression on his face. "What's up?"

"Dee… I have another birthday present for you; your _real_ present from me."

Frowning, Dee sat up, now able to see the box in Ryo's hands over the back of the couch. It was fairly large, made of sturdy brown cardboard… and appeared to be moving.

"What the…?" Dee muttered, stubbing out the freshly lit cigarette as Ryo walked around the furniture and set the box at his bare feet. He opened it slowly. "Oh my God, Ryo this is… oh _wow_."

"What is it?" Bicky pestered, trying to get a better look. His eyes widened as Dee reached into the box and lifted out a dog, a puppy to be exact, which immediately started to wriggle in his arms.

"He's an English boxer," Ryo explained. "Like the dog you told me about in England."

"Oh wow…" Dee said again, barely listening as he lifted the puppy onto his knee and stroked its velvety head. The dog was certainly unique. He was white all over with a red brown patch over one eye and another splodge of colour on his back, near his tail. Perhaps his most unique feature however was the fact that one eye was a deep, dark brown and the other a brilliant blue.

"I remember you saying that you loved the breed and would like one yourself." Ryo leaned in and stroked the animal in Dee's arms. "He was the only one of the litter that was white and the breeders were considering having him destroyed because they thought they'd never sell him."

Dee looked up angrily. "Because he was _white_?"

Ryo nodded, inwardly smiling as he recognised the instant bond and relieved that Drake's suggestion of buying Dee a dog had clearly been a good one. "I don't think having odd eyes helped his case. Even the breeders described him as a little freaky and I just thought of you."

"Figures," Bicky snorted, downing the last of his soda, although his eyes were fixed firmly on the bundle in Dee's arms.

Even Dee raised an eyebrow at his lover's comment.

"I didn't mean like that," Ryo said hastily. "I meant he's unique, like you."

Bicky laughed, concluding there was still a veiled insult in there but Dee was too transfixed by his present to notice.

"I'm sorry if you thought I was being suspicious, love," Ryo said going to stroke the dog but withdrawing his hand as quickly when it tried to bite his fingers. "But it took some organising."

"It was worth it," Dee concluded with a chuckle as the puppy began to snap at his own tail. "He's fantastic." He set the dog down on the floor where he immediately squatted and produced a small puddle on living room carpet.

"Fantastic," Ryo repeated dubiously as he hurried into the kitchen to get a cloth. "Remind me to thank Drake when I see him."

Dee grinned, recalling the conversations he'd had with his colleague about wanting a dog. He could understand why Drake had suggested such a present; what surprised him was that Ryo had taken him up on the suggestion, having never given any indication that he would like a pet in his home. Unbeknown to the dark haired man, Ryo had his reasons. He knew Dee's diabetes specialist had been at him to get more exercise as a way of maintaining a healthy lifestyle; a suggestion that Dee had all but ignored aside from the weekly trip to the gym, and even that was always at Ryo's insistence. Having a dog, Ryo hoped, would ensure that his lover got more exercise without even realising it.

"I'm glad you like him," Ryo said, kneeling down on the carpet to scrub at the wet patch. The puppy immediately tried to snatch the cloth out of his hands and a tug of war ensued.

"He certainly seems very bright," Ryo remarked, finally wrestling the rag from the dog's jaws to take it back to the kitchen.

"Bright…" Dee grinned like a proud father. "Bright it is then."

"That's an unusual name," Ryo said from the kitchen. "Nice though."

Bicky looked less sure until the puppy ran over to him and began to snap at his bare feet. "Hey! Knock it off!" he shouted although he was laughing at the same time. "He _is_ pretty cool, Ryo."

From the kitchen doorway, Ryo forced a smile, wondering whether he should have stuck with his original plan of the denim jacket and a romantic meal after all.

The day after, the two men arrived at the precinct late after Dee had spent a good twenty minutes trying to persuade Bright to come out from under the bed with his shoe. The dark haired detective had found the whole situation hilarious; Ryo had been less pleased, knowing they both weren't far off a verbal warning for their persistent tardiness. Since they'd arrived, Dee had done very little work, as he sat around regaling stories of what the newest addition to their household had been up to overnight to his fellow detectives.

"Hey, Drake, you don't mind covering for me later on, do you?" Dee asked, ignoring Ryo's frown of disapproval. "I gotta take Bright to the vets for his injection."

Drake nodded, grinning broadly. "Sure thing. Then will you be able to take him out for a walk?"

"Yeah. He's the best. You shoulda seen what he was doing last night, he…"

The dark haired man was just about to light a cigarette when Ryo walked past him and grabbed his jacket and briefcase. "Where you going, baby?"

Ryo rolled his eyes. "We made an appointment to go and interview that witness, remember?"

"Shit," Dee said, stuffing the cigarette back in the packet and jumping to his feet. "Well, later boys. Duty calls."

"Very quietly in your case," Ryo muttered as he left the room, causing the other detectives to laugh as Dee frowned at his retreating form.

"Under the thumb there?" Ted grinned, as Dee struggled into his jacket.

Dee snorted. "Not likely."

He hurried from the office, breaking into a jog until he caught up with his lover on the stairs.

"Ryo? Hey, Ryo! Slow down will you? What's the matter?"

 "Nothing."

"Obviously there is."

Ryo sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "We just have so many cases on the go at the moment and none of them seem anywhere near being solved."

"And I guess I'm not helping, right?" Dee smiled, although his expression was contrite. "I'm sorry, baby; I know I haven't been pulling my weight lately. I don't notice so you should just say so instead of getting all stressed on your own."

Ryo nodded as they crossed the parking lot to Dee's car but didn't say anything. Dee knew what he was thinking.

"I know you're worried about pushing me, Ryo but I'm fine, honestly. I had a month's worth of intensive therapy, remember? I know my limits and if I think I'm reaching them then I'll say so. The rest of the time you're perfectly entitled to give me a kick up the ass if you think I'm slacking."

Ryo smiled, glad that Dee had been perceptive enough to know his fears and put them to rest. "Fine then. Let's go so we can get some work done. Then maybe I won't feel so bad about leaving early to get to the vet."

Dee chuckled as he climbed into the driver's seat, thinking of the newest member of their unconventional family. "Aye aye, partner."

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Ryo stayed at home while Dee and Bicky took Bright to the vet. He was reading the paper while their meal was cooking in the oven when the two returned; the teenager carrying the wriggling puppy in his arms.

"Was he okay?" Ryo asked with a frown as Bicky set the dog down and watched as he immediately started to gnaw at the table leg.

"Fine," Dee replied, shrugging out of his overcoat and draping it over a chair. He grinned at the puppy, now tugging at Bicky's shoelaces as he sunk into the armchair.

"Do your insulin, Dee," Ryo said, folding the paper up and heading for the kitchen. "Dinner's about twenty minutes away."

The dark haired man nodded before standing and going to find the necessary equipment. He disappeared for several minutes before emerging from their bedroom, frowning slightly. "Blood sugar's high," he informed his lover, now stirring the contents of a pan on the stove. "Guess I need to pay more attention to what I'm eating."

Ryo nodded in silent agreement, knowing Dee hated being nagged about looking after himself. "Oh hey," he said suddenly, "there was a phone call for you while you were out. Danny Murphy, an English guy. That's who you met on the PTSD programme, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Dee replied, wondering why the younger man was calling. "I'll go and ring him back. What time will it be over there?"

"About two am, but he said it was okay for you to call."

Dee looked thoughtful for a moment, then worried. "I hope everything's okay," he said, voicing his concerns.

Ryo smiled reassuringly. "I'm sure it is. He didn't sound like there was anything wrong."

Ryo watched him go, tugging at his tie which he discarded carelessly on the kitchen table as he passed. The blond shook his head wearily before he went and moved it. He could hear Dee talking animatedly in the other room as Bicky wrestled with Bright on the living room floor.

"That's excellent," he heard Dee say, "Really great. Of course we'll be there. I'll ring you nearer the time."

As the call ended, Dee came back through into the kitchen, grinning broadly. "Guess what? Danny's girlfriend has had the baby. It's a boy, David, and they want me to be a godparent."

Ryo smiled warmly as Dee came to stand right next to him, dipping his finger in the sauce his lover was stirring. He knew some of what had happened in Manchester and it was good to know that his lover's new friend had clearly gotten his life back on track.

"That's great," he replied, slapping Dee's hand away when it ventured near the saucepan again. "So does that mean you'll be going across for the Christening?"

"So will you. A guy can't go without his husband, can he?"

Ryo smiled, but his fair eyebrows indicated a small frown. "Can we afford it? Plane tickets aren't cheap and who'll look after Bicky while we're gone?"

Dee rolled his eyes at his lover's typical obsession with the practicality of any situation. "Let's worry about it nearer the time, okay? Now are we gonna eat or do I have to start chewing on you to prove I'm hungry?"

Ryo chuckled as Dee began to nip playfully at his neck, teasing the exposed flesh as he unsuccessfully tried to squirm away. Dee's breath was warm on his skin and he couldn't prevent the stirring down below that contradicted his demands for Dee to stop.

"You know," Dee breathed. "We could just bypass the food and go and do the horizontal marathon in our room. You're always saying I should get some more exercise."

"Dee!" Ryo protested, whacking him on the arm with a serving ladle. "Stop it!"

"Yeah, bozo," Bicky piped up, coming into the kitchen with Bright at his heels. "You ever gonna stop being such a big perv?"

"Same day you stop being a pain in the ass."

"Ha _ha_."

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_January, the following Year.___

Laura smiled triumphantly as she pulled the towel off her head and surveyed her newly darkened hair. The box had said 'mahogany' and she was more than satisfied with the rich red brown tones that had transformed her blonde locks into the image of the girl in the photograph propped up against the mirror on her dressing table.

The photo was grainy, but it was enough to help Laura transform herself into an uncanny likeness of the girl who would now be roughly twenty four, if of course, she was still alive. Laura didn't know if she was still alive and didn't care; she hadn't been back around this way for ten years and that was good enough for her. Her new short, coloured hair was the final stage in over four month's preparation. Laura smiled; if this was an exam she would certainly ace it, the amount of work she'd put in.

Unable to prevent her smile of triumph, she glanced once more at the photograph, this time studying the handsome dark haired teen, his arm slung affectionately around the girl's shoulder. He was grinning; a kind of cocky self-assured smirk that made Laura want to rip the picture into tiny shreds. A cigarette hung from the boy's lips and a light breeze had pulled strands from his untidy ponytail. He was the picture of teenage rebellion and Laura hated him with every fibre of her being.

"Prepare to lose, Dee Latener," she said, tracing the angular lines of his face with her finger. "Randy's _mine_."

She was up early the following morning, prepared to put the first part of her plan into action. This was it; the crucial test that would tell her whether this elaborate charade would work or whether it was back to the drawing board. The thrill of danger was almost palpable. Dressed in combat pants and t-shirt, her auburn hair styled to complete her street smart image, Laura Burns caught the bus downtown before walking the last couple of blocks to her intended destination. The whole area was run down and Laura had to bite down on her disgust as she passed an old woman pushing a shopping cart filled with rubbish, her face and clothes smeared with dirt. A gang of boys, none of them older than ten, wolf-whistled and shouted obscene comments at her as she passed. Practising the persona she had decided to adopt, she flipped them her middle finger and stuck her newly pierced tongue out at them.

Soon she was at the entrance to the orphanage, mentally recapping all the information she would need before she pushed through the heavy wooden doors into the vestibule beyond. Having heard the creak, another door opened and a young woman, dressed in a nun's habit stepped out.

"Can I help you?" she asked, studying the visitor carefully.

In that split second, Laura had assessed her. _Too young, wouldn't have been here ten years ago_. "Is Mother Maria here? I want to see her."

The nun nodded. "I'll see if I can find her. Who can I say is here?"

Laura smiled. "Tell her it's Tyler. I've come back."

She was alone for only a matter of minutes before the sound of footsteps hurrying across the wooden floor greeted her. The door the nun had gone through suddenly burst open and the aging Mother Maria Lane appeared, her wrinkle framed eyes twinkling with hope.

"Tyler?" she said, her voice incredulous. "Tyler Brown, is that you?"

Laura nodded, fidgeting and looking nervous; exactly how she had planned this reunion. "Yeah… it's me, Mother. Or can I still call you Penguin?"

Penguin's smile lit up her crinkled features as she hurried forward and embraced the girl, scarcely able to believe the sight before her. "Oh, Tyler, where have you _been_? Oh my child…"

Laura hugged her back, playing the dutiful daughter returning home. "I'm sorry I didn't call but I'm here now."

Penguin held her face in her hands, studying it closely. For a moment, Laura was convinced her subterfuge would be discovered under this intense scrutiny but the elderly nun merely smiled and shook her head. "Oh, this is wonderful, truly wonderful." Her expression suddenly turned melancholy. "If only Sister Tabatha were still alive. You two were so close."

Laura looked suitably upset, despite inwardly cheering. _Great! One old bat's dead. That'll make things easier for me. _"When did she die?" she asked, impressing herself at the way she managed to conjure up tears.

"It was four years this August," the nun replied, before she patted Laura's arm affectionately. "Anyway, let's not dwell on sad times. Come; tell me what you've been doing all this time."

Laura found her lies swallowed with surprising ease. Clearly Tyler had never been seen since she'd left the orphanage ten years ago and so her tales about moving state for an entire decade seemed reasonable. She apologised for never getting in touch but the nun was a seasoned forgiver and insisted that her expression of regret was unnecessary. Soon Laura was moving on to what she needed to know. The old woman was information, not realising that every story she reminisced about gave Laura more intimate knowledge of Tyler's past.

Some of it Laura already knew as she'd done copious amounts of research on the young orphan when she'd decided that Tyler Brown was a viable person to impersonate. From researching school records to chatting with old associates posing as a friend who was desperately searching for her, it had all helped increase her confidence that her deception wouldn't be uncovered. Of the friends she'd managed to trace; most believed Tyler was dead, either that or a long way from New York. One even thought that she might be living abroad, as she had often said that she wanted to go and start a new life in Europe.

However the main and most crucial reason that Tyler Brown was the identity she'd decided to adopt was that as a young girl, she'd been good friends with a fellow orphan and teenage tearaway by the name of Dee Latener, her link to the man of her dreams; the man who would eventually be hers.

"So is there anyone from the old gang that I can hook up with now I'm back?" she asked casually after the nun had finished yet another anecdote that she pretended she remembered and gave two shits about.

"Well," Penguin said, unable to stop smiling, thrilled that Tyler was back. "Natasha got married and moved to California. She's doing ever so well for herself. She writes a couple of times a year. Haley called in last year to say she and her family were emigrating to Australia and I've heard that Deanne is doing okay although she hasn't stayed in touch."

Laura nodded. "What about the guys?"

"Well, let me see." Penguin's face clouded for a moment. "Oh my, do you know about Arnon?"

_That's the one that was murdered. Stupid bastard; too dumb to look after himself. Deserves to be dead… _"I saw the papers," she said, reaching across and giving the elderly nun's hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'll always regret not coming back for his funeral." She looked down, apparently ashamed.

"Arnon would have known you were thinking of him. I know you and he were fond of each other."

Laura nodded and smiled a small, grateful smile. _God, I'm good_.

The nun continued, her expression suddenly brightening. "I almost forgot about Dee! He still lives here in New York; in fact, he stops by every couple of weeks."

"Yeah?" Laura replied, cocking her head, feigning interest. "Ain't he in prison yet?"

"Oh no; Dee's a good boy! He's a policeman now."

Laura's eyes went wide, indicating Tyler's apparent disbelief that Dee could have amounted to anything. "Dee? A _policeman_? Get outta here!" _Detective Dee Latener now McLain, Criminal Investigations, Twenty Seventh Precinct here in __New York City__.__ Partnered with Detective Randy McLain, office on the fourth floor which they share with Detectives Drake Parker and Jemmy J Adams, better known as JJ. _"I can't believe it," she said, shaking her head in disbelief. Who'd have thought he'd have ended up on the side of law and order?"

"Miracles _do_ happen," Penguin chuckled, winking at Laura conspiratorially. "He's very happy. He settled down with a lovely young man called Ryo and they got married a few months ago. He even changed his surname."

"A guy, huh?" Laura mused, despite it making her want to start smashing things up. _Wrong, wrong, wrong_. "Well, he always liked a bit of variety."

"That he did. But his days of variety are long over. He loves Ryo and is totally devoted to him." The nun smiled, taking Laura's expression to mean that she wanted to hear more about the life of the man she had supposedly grown up with. Nothing however could be further from the truth but Laura bore it bravely, knowing that listening to this stomach churning drivel would ultimately serve a higher purpose.

"I remember Dee coming to see me not long after Ryo had started working with him," Penguin said dreamily. "He was head over heels for him and was finding it very difficult to hide his feelings. You should have seen him, Tyler, the first time Ryo made a move on _him_. He said he'd died and gone to Heaven."

"I'm glad he's so happy," she replied, amazed that the acidic bitterness hadn't corroded the upbeat note of her voice. "He was always such a great guy."

She was sickened to see the nun's emphatic agreement. "Oh, Tyler, you won't believe how happy he'll be to know you're back. He was so worried about you. He looked for you for a long time after you'd gone."

Laura smiled, hoping her lack of sincerity wasn't showing on her face. "I'd love to see him. I just hope he won't be mad at me for not getting in touch."

Penguin smiled back, reaching for the girl's hand and squeezing it reassuringly. "Let me call him. I guarantee he'll not be mad."

"Okay," Laura replied, a surge of adrenaline rushing through her. _This is it! It's working! I'll be close to you, Randy, before you know it!_

TBC…


	3. Tyler Brown

**Author's note – Yes, this is a re-posting, since I lost my original account at Reviews are always appreciated! Swordy**

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 2 – Tyler Brown

The office was particularly crowded and as a result, Ryo was finding it difficult to concentrate with the excessive noise. Drake and JJ were liaising with colleagues that had flown in from New Hampshire and Ted kept popping in since the coffee machine in his office wasn't working. Ryo was trying to read through the case files of an investigation they had been working on for what felt like forever, and the fact that he kept re-reading the same paragraph over and over because of the constant interruptions wasn't helping any. Ryo looked across to Dee who was chewing on a pencil, his own set of files untouched on the desk.

"Dee," he said, sharply. "Have you organised those witness statements yet?"

Green eyes narrowed, pulling the rest of the other man's features into a frown. "You checking up on me? Here…" he said, going into his desk drawer and tossing the files in question across the desk.

Ryo nodded and broke the eye contact, aware that for once, it was he that had gotten behind with their work. "Well thanks. I'll add them to my stuff later."

Dee knew that Ryo hadn't expected him to be so organised but didn't make an issue of it with strangers in the room. Drake and JJ left the office to dig out some files. "You want me to help you with your stuff?" Dee offered quietly when they'd gone.

Dark blond hair tumbled back and forth as Ryo shook his head. Dee acknowledged the show of pride with a nod as the telephone rang and one of New Hampshire detectives picked it up since he was nearest the handset.

"Detective McLain?" he said, glancing at the two unnamed people in the room.

"Which one?" Dee and Ryo asked simultaneously, used to this routine by now.

The man frowned and spoke the same message into the receiver. After a pause he said, "Dee."

As they freed the telephone wire so the handset could be pulled across the desk, the out of state detective grinned. "Wow, I mean, what're the odds of the two of you working together and having the same last name?"

"It's not that amazing," Dee replied, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye as he finally took control of the receiver. "After all, we _are_ married."

He turned his back and started speaking to the caller, leaving the other detective to look at Ryo. "Straight up? You two…?"

"Yeah," Ryo replied, ignoring the old twinge of embarrassment that admitting to being gay still caused him. It was like a knee-jerk reflex; a reaction you couldn't control no matter how much you were anticipating the blow. He didn't crumple to the floor anymore; merely it was a flinch that gave away the fact that the reflex still existed at all. "Dee's my husband."

"Oh… right," the other man said, not sure what else to say, although Ryo caught the look he gave his partner and was glad that Drake and JJ returned at that moment to distract the two men. He knew the minds of straight guys; they would be thinking of the mechanics of sex between two men and would be curious and disgusted at the same time. Ryo returned to his work. Dee's conversation suddenly grew more animated with several 'you're kidding?' and 'no really?' statements before he laughed in delight and ended the call, promising to come straight over to whoever was on the other end.

"Dee?" Ryo said eventually as the other man started stuffing things into his briefcase.

"I gotta go," the younger man said hurriedly as he pulled on his jacket, freeing the material as it caught up in his shoulder holster. "I'll see you at home."

Ryo frowned at the lack of explanation, aware that the others were watching them. Waiting for a lovers' tiff no doubt. Ryo wasn't about to give them the satisfaction but he still disliked the fact that Dee was upping and leaving because of a mysterious phone call.

"Don't worry," Dee said sensing Ryo's disquiet. "It was Penguin. Just cover for me with the chief, yeah?"

Ryo nodded, wondering why the nun would call him up at work. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," Dee replied, heading for the door. "I'll explain later. Bye guys." He waved a hand at the other detectives but didn't wait for a reply as the glass-panelled door closed behind him.

"What's with him?" Drake asked, turning from the door back to Ryo.

The blond shrugged as he returned to his paperwork. "No idea."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Twenty minutes later, Dee pulled up and sat for a moment staring out at the orphanage. The place always brought back memories for him, some good, some bad. Today would definitely be a good memory, he thought confidently as he swung out of his car, locked the door, and headed up the steps. He paused to chat with some of the children milling around the main entrance. Most of the kids were suspicious of the police but somehow, Dee always managed to retain his hero status amongst the legions of children, who rushed over to him with broad, welcoming grins.

The kids told him where Penguin could be found, pumping Dee for information about the girl that was in with the elderly nun but Dee laughed off their enquiries and hurried inside. He was excited and… nervous? Was he nervous, he wondered to himself as he walked through the orphanage's corridors, nodding greetings to others as he passed. He and Tyler had been good friends but ten years was a long time to be apart and people changed. She had left so suddenly and never gotten in contact. He reached Penguin's office and knocked tentatively, waiting for the invitation to enter. When it came, he took a deep, calming breath and pushed open the door.

Laura looked up as the door opened, knowing this, if anything, was the real test of whether she could pull off this audacious plan. She knew the face of the man that entered straight away, but grudgingly conceded that the photographs she had of him didn't really do him justice. He was attractive in his slim frame; a male model's body topped by a face that was equally pleasing. Smooth olive skin and deep green eyes, framed by dark arching eyebrows and a shaggy mop of raven black hair. The smile was slightly asymmetrical, giving him a roguish charm that she had noticed prior to meeting him in the flesh. He was smiling now, clearly not suspicious about her true identity.

"Holy…" he started to say before he saw Penguin's frown. "…place you got here, Mother." He shook his head in disbelief. "_Tyler_?"

Laura smiled. Time to play her ace card; the little gem of information that she had picked up from one of Tyler's old friends.

"Hey Dee, congratulations on your marriage. I guess I can't call you 'easy-_lay_tner' anymore, can I?"

Dee's eyes went wide at the nickname Tyler had given him all those years ago. The words were like a link to the past; a connection that was re-made just by their mere verbalisation. He grinned and shook his head.

"Fraid not. I'm strictly a one guy guy now! My easy-lay days are long gone!" He was grinning broadly until he caught Penguin's disapproving glare and he sobered. "Not that I… oh jeez…" He rolled his eyes, having put his foot in it but his smile crept back onto his face as he saw Tyler grinning at him.

"Well, I have things to do," Penguin said, easing her elderly frame out of the chair. She knew her two former charges would have plenty to talk about and she sensed some of it wouldn't be for her ears. She touched Laura's face tenderly, her eyes twinkling above her smile. "Please don't be a stranger, Tyler. We've missed you so much."

The girl nodded, smiling back. "Thank you, Mother. And I won't. I'm back for good now."

Penguin looked thrilled by the news. She left the room, glancing up at the man she considered a son, her crinkled features communicating her joy, When she'd gone he studied the girl and smiled, happy disbelief his presiding emotion.

"What?" she said as the silence threatened to turn awkward. Her heart was pounding. _He knows. He's toying with me._

"Dammit, Tyler, get over here!" he said, opening his arms to her.

Her smile as she left her seat was genuine; she hadn't been discovered after all. He embraced her soundly, scarcely able to believe that the question of her disappearance, something that had haunted him since his teenage years, had now been answered. When they pulled apart, he laughed.

"You look so good, girl! Man, we have _so_ much to catch up on."

She grinned back, hand on hip, exuding sassiness. "Yeah, sounds like you've been a busy boy. I mean; you're a cop, you're _married_. The two things I never in a million years thought Dee Latener would end up being!"

"Yeah, yeah," he said, responding to her teasing. "I figured I better make something of myself and you know what they say about a man in uniform." He winked, emerald eyes twinkling. "So where've you been all this time?"

Laura rolled her eyes dramatically and blew a puff of air up into her fringe. "How long have you got?"

"Tell you what," he said quickly, rummaging in his overcoat for his cell phone. "Let's make time. You got any plans for this evening?"

"No, why?"

"You have now." He pushed a button on the handset and waited patiently for his call to be answered. "Ryo? Where are you? Have you started dinner yet? Good… well set an extra place will you? I'll explain when I get home. Love you, baby."

He hung up and grinned. "You up for meeting the family?"

"Do I have any choice?" she replied with a chuckle, her heart pounding furiously at the realisation that she was about to enter the home and dine with the man she had set her sights on.

"You'll just love Ryo," he said, putting his arm around her shoulder as they walked from the room. He missed her smile, which beamed of her true purpose.

"I'm sure I will," she replied, allowing him to guide her out of the building and to his car.

They made small talk throughout the short journey to the apartment. Laura had been worried that she would find it difficult to make conversation with someone she was only pretending to know, but she needn't have worried; Dee chattered incessantly, leaving very few gaps, all of which only required some sort of noise of agreement. His happy jabbering gave her chance to memorise all the anecdotes he told, every scrap of information filling in more of the blanks in Tyler's life. By the time they were home, Laura was feeling more confident about pulling off such an audacious stunt.

"Ryo! I'm home!" Dee called, as he closed the front door after showing Laura in.

"About time," came the voice from the kitchen. The sound of footsteps followed. "Now would you kindly tell me what's going… Oh, hi." Ryo smiled when he saw Dee had brought company.

"Ryo, this is Tyler. Remember me telling you about Tyler from the orphanage?"

"The Tyler that disappeared?" Ryo asked, sensing he already knew the answer from the beaming smile on his husband's face.

Laura shrugged shyly. "Guilty as charged." She watched the blond man wipe his hands on his jeans before he held one out to her. She thought she would pass out when their hands touched. He was _so_ close.

"Pleased to meet you, Tyler. You can call me Randy or Ryo, whichever you prefer."

Laura couldn't help but notice that, unlike Dee, Ryo's smile was perfectly symmetrical, not that she'd have expected anything less from the most perfect man alive. "Randy's fine with me," she said casually.

"Great, well, dinner's almost ready. I hope you like pasta. Would you like a drink, Tyler?"

"Sure."

"Um, we have orange, water, beer or I think there's some red wine."

"Anything's fine with me." She almost jumped when Dee placed his hands on her shoulders.

"You two'll get on great. Ryo can be really indecisive too!" He walked off chuckling, pulling off his tie as he headed for the bedroom. He could hear them talking as he kicked off his shoes and he smiled as he heard Ryo laugh out loud at something she'd said. Aside from Penguin, Ryo had never met anyone from his past and so he desperately wanted them to get along. Out of his briefcase he retrieved his diabetes kit and proceeded to check his blood sugar levels before administering his insulin. From his high the other week, he was now a little low and he shook his head in frustration at the balancing act he was still struggling to achieve with his health. As he was packing his kit away, Ryo came into the room.

"Hey, love. Just letting you know that dinner's in five."

"Okay," Dee replied, pulling his shirt off over his head to save him the hassle of dealing with buttons. He grabbed a t-shirt off the pile on the floor, before changing into his jeans; creased like the t-shirt and ripped heavily around the knees.

"Ryo?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't mind Tyler coming?"

Ryo looked shocked that Dee would even ask. He crossed the room and draped his arms around his lover's neck. "Why would I mind? I know how much she meant to you when you were growing up. I'm just so pleased for you that she's turned up."

"Yeah," Dee replied, grinning in disbelief. "I still can't believe it. Man, we used to get up to all kinda shit. I remember this one time… "

Before he could continue there was a scream from the living room. The two men rushed out to find Tyler hiding behind an armchair, with Bright, who had just returned from a walk with Bicky, jumping up at her as best he could with the piece of furniture in the way. Tyler looked terrified.

"Bright! Down!" Dee growled, the dog instantly obeying him. In the two months since he'd first got him, Bright had almost doubled in size. His body was muscular, his legs long and powerful. His large jaw made him look intimidating but in reality, the dog was completely harmless. He had bonded strongly with Dee and obeyed him unfailingly. Ryo had more difficulty controlling him although he was just relieved that the beast had stopped chewing everything in sight. Even though the dog was no longer jumping at her, Tyler would not come out from behind the chair. Seeing just how scared she was, Dee ordered the dog into the kitchen. On his command, Bright shot into the other room and didn't reappear.

"Tyler, are you okay?" Ryo said, concerned that she was hurt in some way, not that he believed Bright would ever bite anyone. She was more in danger of being drooled to death.

"Uh, yeah," she replied shakily, running a hand through her hair.

"Sorry, kid. I forgot to tell you about him," Dee said before he frowned. "I thought you loved dogs?"

Laura faltered, realising her own fear of dogs had caused her to slip out of character. "I uh, had a bad experience a couple of years ago. I guess it's made me a little jumpy."

Ryo looked sympathetic. "Well his bark is definitely worse than his bite."

"Yeah," Dee agreed. "If there's anyone you need to watch out for it's Bicky here."

The blond teen shot him a glare of annoyance. "Shut up, perv," he muttered, trying to look nonchalant with a pretty girl in the room.

"Bicky!" Ryo said sharply, embarrassed that the ongoing bickering didn't stop even when they had company. "Tyler, this is Bicky, my son. Bicky, this is Dee's friend, Tyler. She's staying for dinner so I hope you'll make her feel welcome."

"Uh, hey," Bicky said, staring at his shoes. "Nice to meet ya."

"Good to meet you too," she grinned. _So this must be the brat._

"You'll not be saying that in a couple of hours," Dee muttered going into the kitchen to help Ryo serve the dinner.

Throughout the meal, Dee continued to tell stories about his younger years, with Tyler chipping in with comments when he mentioned her part in his escapades. If analysed closely, it would be possible to tell that Tyler knew very little of what Dee was talking about, but she masked it well, her confidence growing with every minute that passed and her deception went undiscovered. When she did speak, she was entertaining and interesting and soon she had the two men and boy captivated. Only Bright seemed less than happy with her presence as he was banished to the kitchen for the evening; too far from Dee's feet for his liking.

Not wanting to overstay her welcome, Laura announced that she would have to go after she had insisted that she help wash up. Dee and Bicky had taken Bright into the living room while she assisted Ryo, chatting amicably while they washed and dried the plates. A couple of times she thought Ryo was about to recognise her from their very first meeting, despite the drastic changes to her appearance, and her heart hammered as his dark brown eyes studied her closely. Then he would turn back to the sudsy water and carry on chatting.

They had just finished when Dee came back into the kitchen, surveying the two as they put away the last of the plates. "I was just coming to offer my assistance," he said, winking as Ryo rolled his eyes.

"He does this all the time," the blond explained. "He waits until I've finished and then comes in."

"Sounds about right," Laura responded, hoping it didn't sound as bitter as she felt. _If you were mine, Randy, I'd do everything for you._

"Hey, come on! Ryo knows my talents lie elsewhere!" Dee said, defending himself. He pulled Ryo into his arms and gently kissed his neck. Ryo blushed in response.

"Dee! Knock it off! Tyler doesn't want to see you groping me like some sex-starved maniac."

The other man laughed. "You see, Tyler? He's got me all figured out!"

Laura managed a laugh as she put away the last bowl. Inside she was blazing. "Well, I'd better go. Thanks for dinner, _Randy_," she said, deliberately addressing the man she knew had prepared the wonderful food.

"My pleasure," Ryo snickered, watching as she punched Dee playfully in the arm before she grabbed her bag.

"D'you want a ride, Tyler?" Dee asked, rubbing his arm ruefully, certain the girl didn't know her own strength.

"Nah, it's cool," she said, heading for the door. The two men followed her.

"Have you got an address or anything?" Dee said suddenly, realising she was leaving and he had no way to get hold of her. After so many years without knowing her whereabouts, he was reluctant to let her go.

"I'm kinda in between places at the moment, but as soon as I've got an address I'll let you know."

"Tell you what," Ryo said quickly. "Come round for lunch on Sunday. You can tell me more about what Dee got up to when he was younger." He winked and smiled as he slipped his arm under his husband's.

"I don't wanna interrupt a family meal or anything…"

"Now stop that. You're Dee's family so you're welcome any time."

Laura positively beamed as Dee nodded his agreement. She wasn't really about to turn down an invitation to spend more time with Randy. "Well okay then. What time Sunday?"

Ryo glanced across at Dee. "One o'clock? How does that sound?"

Laura nodded as she let the catch off the door. "Fine with me. I'll see you then." Suddenly, instinctively, she turned back and hugged Dee hard. "I'm glad I came back," she said sincerely.

"Me too," Dee replied as she started down the corridor, waving her hand without turning around.

Later on when the apartment was in darkness and the occupants in their beds, Ryo woke, aware of Dee moving next to him. He rolled over to find his lover awake and sat up, staring out into the darkness of the room. Ryo shifted so that he was lying on his side, now able to see the dark haired man's face.

"Can't sleep, love?"

Dee looked down and shook his head. "Seeing Tyler got me thinking about things, that's all." He reached out and gently stroked Ryo's tangled hair away from his eyes. "About family. I'm so glad I've got you, Ryo."

Ryo moved closer, wanting to give Dee some physical support, sensing this went deeper than a simple bout of insomnia. He wrapped his arms around Dee's body and laid his head on his abdomen.

"You'll always have me. That's why I married you, remember?"

"Yeah, I know," Dee replied, never ceasing to be amazed how something as simple as the warmth from Ryo's body could sooth and caress his soul. "I guess most of the time I don't think about my past, the fact that I've got no parents or that I don't know where I'm from."

In the pause that followed Ryo saw someone else in Dee's sadness. Not Dee the hard bitten cop or even Dee the wonderful husband and lover. The Dee he saw was the boy, aware of his past and uncertain of his future with no one, besides Penguin, to love and protect him. Ryo's heart wrenched at the sight.

"I was one of the children that stayed the longest. I was at the orphanage from the day after I was born until I left to join the academy. Penguin was always there for me, even when I got into trouble. Looking back, it's hard to believe I let her down so much, after everything she did for me, for all of us."

"Dee, that was a long time ago," Ryo replied, sitting up and stroking his husband's cheek. "She's so very proud of you now. The fact that you did all those things and _still_ grew into a decent man who knows right from wrong is a testament to you and to Penguin. She told me the moment I met her that you were her pride and joy."

Dee smiled, thinking of how many times Penguin had told him that herself. The elderly nun just had a way of raising his self esteem when his unconventional life threatened to bring him down. He had no doubt that she had been instrumental in moulding him into the man he was today.

"Penguin was so upset when Tyler disappeared. We looked for her of course, but as the weeks turned into months and then years, we came to believe that something must have happened to her. Penguin felt like she'd failed her, even though it was Tyler's choice to leave. It'll mean so much to Penguin to have her back," he said, smiling at Ryo.

"Clearly it means a lot to someone else too," his lover replied.

Dee grinned at last, pulled from his melancholy by this late-night talk. "Yeah, I can't believe it."

Ryo smiled, recalling a thought he'd had earlier that evening. "You know, she looks really familiar. I just feel like I've seen her somewhere before." He pushed his musings aside, certain the feeling came from seeing different faces day in day out. "Did she say why she left or where she's been all this time?"

"Not really. We got so caught up talking about old times that it never really came up. I'll ask her another time."

"Sunday remember? She's coming round again on Sunday."

"Yeah, thanks for inviting her," Dee said, before he leant down and captured his lover's lips in a grateful kiss. He lingered, waiting to see if Ryo responded, so when the blond reached up, anchoring his fingers in Dee's thick mane of hair, he knew it would be some time before either of them were getting back to sleep…

TBC…


	4. Bitter and Twisted

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 3 – Bitter and Twisted.

Sunday arrived and Ryo secretly found himself regretting making the lunch invitation. Friday and Saturday had seen them both working double shifts and so by Sunday, he wanted nothing more than for the two of them to spend the day cuddled up on the couch watching whatever happened to be on the TV. Dee had promised his services to Penguin in the morning to help out at the orphanage and Ryo had unsuccessfully tried to talk him into postponing.

The other's low blood sugar level was a continued cause for concern and as a result, he was constantly lethargic. He had arranged to see his diabetes specialist but the appointment wasn't for a couple of days; in the mean time, he had to monitor his blood sugar frequently to ensure it didn't slip dangerously low. Over the months since his diagnosis, they had come to recognise the symptoms that indicated all was not well.

The long work hours hadn't helped and since he had returned from helping out at the orphanage, Ryo had all but forced him onto the couch to lie down. He'd been asleep in seconds. Bicky and Cal had arrived home after walking Bright and Cal immediately went to help Ryo in the kitchen before Tyler arrived at one.

"Is Dee okay?" she asked, watching how the sleeping man didn't stir even when Bright jumped onto the couch and settled down to sleep on his stomach.

"Yeah, he's just worn out," Ryo replied, stirring soup in the pan. "His diabetes has been a bit unstable recently and it's giving his energy levels a real knock." He stopped speaking as he unsuccessfully stifled a yawn.

"Yeah? What's your excuse then?" Cal asked with a smile as she playfully elbowed him out of the way and took over his stirring duties. "Sit down, will you? You obviously need to rest too."

Ryo smiled gratefully as he sat down and ran a hand through his untidy hair. "Work's been a little crazy lately. Lots of cases, all of which are top priority. I guess it's finally caught up with both of us."

They both turned as the doorbell rang. "I'll get it," Cal said firmly. "You stay there."

The teenager moved into the living room, frowning at the loud music blaring from Bicky's room. She had to smile at the sight of Bright snoring noisily in Dee's lap as she answered the door.

"Hey, you must be Dee's friend, Tyler, right?" Cal smiled in welcome.

Laura stared back at the pretty blonde teenager who clearly felt at home in the apartment. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Er, yeah," she replied, forcing a smile despite her rising irritation. _Who the fuck are you?_

"Hi, I'm Cal, Bicky's girlfriend," she explained, sensing the sudden tension and presuming that the other girl's reaction was shyness. "Come on in."

"Thanks," Laura replied, entering the apartment as Cal stepped back to allow her past. _Easy, keep calm. You almost blew it then._

Her eyes immediately went to search out the object of her fixation but she forced herself to pay attention to the reason she was supposed to be there. She bit down on her fear as she saw the dog, who blinked an eye open and looked straight at her before going back to sleep with a grunt.

"Hey, Randy. Glad to see he's so pleased to see me," she joked as Ryo appeared in the doorway. _My God, you're beautiful._

"Don't mind Dee. He's worn out. Let me get you a drink."

Laura followed him into the kitchen, casting one last malevolent stare at the man on the couch. _Lazy bastard.__ Does Randy have to do everything while you lie about? How dare you treat him like that._

She was further incensed by the obvious signs of tiredness on the blond's face, but he waved off her voiced concern, citing long work hours as the cause.

"I'll wake Dee up; he's been really looking forward to you coming."

"That's okay," she said quickly, "Let him sleep." Cal had disappeared to wherever Bicky was, leaving her and Ryo alone in the kitchen. She didn't want this moment to end.

"No, he needs to wake up," Ryo said, pushing up the sleeves of his shirt as he wandered through into the living room. Reluctantly Laura followed.

"Bright. Off," Ryo said in a firm voice to the dog, who studied him unhappily for a moment before reluctantly doing as he was told. With the dog out of the way, Ryo gently pulled Dee around into a sitting position and proceeded to stroke his face.

"Dee, love? Tyler's here and it's almost time to eat."

Heavily lidded eyes blinked open slowly but wouldn't focus and Ryo was quick to recognise that Dee was low again. "Bicky," he called, having to shout over the music. He paused until the boy appeared. "Can you get Dee a drink?"

The teenager knew what was required of him as he nodded and headed to the kitchen. "Hey, Tyler," he said passing the girl in the doorway as he opened the cupboard to find the sugar-laden fruit juice they kept for this purpose. He had learnt to understand Dee's condition and didn't argue when Ryo asked him to help out. Once, when he had less experience of the problems associated with diabetes, he had refused Ryo's request for assistance, claiming 'slave labour' in his usual confrontational manner. Only when his adoptive parent broke down and cried did he fully comprehend Ryo's own fears and the fact that even he could be supportive when Dee's diabetes needed careful management.

Laura, however, knew none of this. The scenario she saw was a man, excessively pampered by his partner who instructed those around him to treat Dee in the same manner. She hated him… Her illusion was quickly shattered when Bicky passed her again, this time carrying a glass of the fruit juice.

"Don't worry," he said misinterpreting her blank expression as concern. "It's just his diabetes."

"Oh right… I forgot," Laura said quickly, wondering how she'd managed to overlook that in all the things she'd learnt about the dark haired man from his childhood. In her hurry, she didn't stop to contemplate the fact that she wasn't _expected_ to know about his diabetes. Bicky picked up on this but just presumed that Dee must have told her when he met up with her at the orphanage, or maybe she'd seen the medical alert bracelet that he wore almost all the time.

"Here," he said, handing the glass to Ryo who continued to support Dee's head with his other hand.

"Dee? Can you drink this for me?" he said, waiting for the green eyes to flicker open before he put the glass to his lips. He gently stroked the hair away from Dee's eyes as his lover slowly took several swallows of the liquid. The green orbs had a glaze to them, indicating that he wasn't quite back in the land of the living yet.

"Some more," Ryo encouraged, his voice firm but positive. In the early days, he had been sick with worry whenever Dee's condition fluctuated from the norm; now he had learnt to deal with things practically rather than emotionally.

"Come on, baby," he soothed, knowing how disorientated Dee would be feeling. All they could do was wait for the sugar to kick in. After a few minutes, Dee seemed to blink away the haze and finally see Ryo properly.

"Man, I hate that," he said, frowning at the odd sensations he was sure he'd never get used to. He rubbed his eyes vigorously to banish the unwelcome feeling that having low blood sugar gave him.

Ryo smiled, always relieved when Dee seemed to pull back from the clutches of his condition. "Tyler's here so why don't you go and check your levels and splash some water on your face. Lunch is almost ready."

Dee nodded, standing slowly and testing out shaky legs. He glanced around, his eyes eventually coming to rest on Laura who was still leaning on the kitchen doorframe. "Hey, Tyler," he said, managing a grin. "I'll be right with you."

"No probs," she replied with a wave of her hand. When he turned away, she studied Ryo watching Dee disappear into their bedroom. When the dark haired man had gone, he stood, bringing with him the empty glass. He smiled at Laura, like Bicky thinking that she was worried by what she had just witnessed.

"He'll be fine now," he said reassuringly, returning to the food on the stove once he had deposited the glass in the sink.

"You're very good with him," Laura replied; pausing before she told the greatest lie of all. "I'm glad he's got you."

Ryo turned and smiled. "Well I consider myself very lucky to have Dee. He's a wonderful man."

Laura nodded and took a sip of her drink, using the action to negate the need to smile. She wasn't sure she could have managed it if she tried. Inside she was fuming. _Diabetes… great.__ Now you've got a reason for Randy to take care of you. Can't you see he's only with you because he feels sorry for you? You don't need a partner, you need a slave._

"Can I help?" she asked, knowing she was compromising the validity of her assumed persona by dwelling on negative thoughts about Dee.

Ryo looked around. "Um, you could get the plates out if you don't mind. They're in…"

"S'okay," she said quickly, putting down her drink and going to the appropriate cupboard. "I remember where they are."

"Oh, okay," Ryo replied, turning his attention back to the food. Bicky and Cal came in and helped carry things out to the dining table. They were just settling into their seats when Dee appeared, looking considerably better than he had several minutes previously.

"Hey, love. How're you feeling?" Ryo asked, moving aside to let Dee past. "Was your reading okay?"

"Not great, but not the worst. At least I've got my appointment next week." He took a seat opposite Laura and smiled. "I'm diabetic if you haven't already guessed. Type one, insulin dependant."

Laura nodded, oblivious to Bicky's frown of confusion. Why had Tyler said she'd forgotten Dee was diabetic if he'd never told her in the first place? As lunch began, he mentally rebuked himself for being so suspicious, particularly when she defended him from Dee's teasing. To further ingratiate herself into the family, she used a couple of her ace cards; stories that she'd heard from Penguin that she told as if she remembered them personally. Clearly Dee did, as he laughed in delight with Bicky and Cal as Ryo tried half-heartedly to look like he didn't approve of his husband's delinquent past. Laura however took his handsome frown for real. _You know you're too good for him, Randy. I can see it in your eyes._

Part way through the meal, the telephone rang and Ryo got up to answer it. He was gone for several minutes, his conversation occasionally filtering in from the kitchen when there was a lull in the talk at the table. It ceased temporarily when he returned, the others curious to know who he had been speaking to.

"That was the guy from Hardman's. Our new TV's in the shop. I said we'd drive down and pick it up on Tuesday since it's our day off."

Dee was about to nod when he recalled something. "I can't go Tuesday, I've got my appointment with Dr Stephens, remember?"

"Damn," Ryo replied, sitting back down and frowning. "I'll have to ring them back but that's annoying because it'll be almost two weeks before we can go again. It's definitely a two man job." He turned to Tyler and explained. "Over TV broke so we're having to use the one out of our bedroom. Dee insisted since we were replacing the TV we may as well order a big widescreen set and a DVD player."

"Don't forget the cinema sound system," Dee cut in, exchanging triumphant grins with Bicky. They'd both been responsible for turning a simple trip to replace the defunct television into an exercise in persuasion. Poor Ryo hadn't had a chance when, in league with the more than enthusiastic salesman, the man and boy had convinced him that they absolutely _needed_ the new equipment. Eventually the blond had relented, but only after several conditions had been made. Dee had promised to cut down on cigarettes; Bicky had pledged to complete his homework before he started on videogames and TV after school.

"I'll come with you," Tyler said as Ryo finished his explanation. "If all you need is an extra pair of hands."

Ryo looked at Dee before he turned back to the girl. "Are you sure? It's not a very exciting day for you."

Tyler shrugged. "I don't have any plans. I'd be happy to help. Call it thanks for a great meal."

Ryo smiled broadly. "Thank you, Tyler. We'd really appreciate it."

Dee chuckled as he nodded his agreement. "Are you sure you'll cope with a full day of just this guy for company? He listens to weird music in the car y'know!"

"Hey! I do not!"

"Do too!"

Laura laughed but inside she was euphoric. "Oh, I'm sure it'll be okay," she said, attempting to sound serious. _You bet your ass I'll cope!_

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Laura Burns sat in her rented apartment looking out of the window. To those passing by, it appeared that she was staring aimlessly, but in reality she was thinking. Laura did a lot of thinking to occupy the empty moments. She liked thinking – thinking made her smart. She hadn't excelled at school, but that was because the subjects weren't of interest to her. When she found something worth studying, her mind was razor-sharp. Just like now. Now she had Randy. It had been a month since her initial meeting with Dee at the orphanage and so far she had done a superior job of fitting into his family.

Over that period, she had studied the two men and witnessed their love and dedication to each other, but none of it had diminished her determination to split them apart. Randy was _hers_. She had gone with him to pick up the electrical equipment but had been somewhat disappointed by the amount of time he had spent talking about Dee. She realised it was because she was supposed to be Dee's friend, but it had been something of a challenge not to scream out loud in frustration. Just as he had moved onto other topics, Dee had called to tell Randy how he'd gotten on at the hospital, and the 'Dee conversation' had started up again. As irritating as it had been, she realised there was yet more about Dee that she needed to find out. Randy hadn't said anything directly, but from little comments here and there, she had deduced that there were vulnerabilities, chinks in Dee's brash armour, that she could exploit. She realised she needed to do a little more digging.

On her days off, when she wasn't crashing the McLain residence, she continued her research. Dee McLain née Latener, she discovered, had been far more scarred than she'd first realised by the events of the previous year. She knew from the newspaper reports of his kidnapping that he'd been physically injured, but the media had said nothing of the psychological strain that Randy had hinted at. She had probed gently, but he seemed reluctant to tell her anything, assuming that Dee would tell her if he wanted to. She _would_ work on Dee, but she also wanted to find out the cold hard facts. There would be files, surely – a man with psychological damage would have to be assessed in order to return to such a high pressure job as police work. Laura wanted to see them, wanted to know how she could use the information in her scheming.

Getting access would be tough. She needed to think carefully about how she could overcome this particular problem but whilst she did that, there were other things she could be doing. In the months of preparation, she had thought up a number of schemes that would hopefully inject doubt and mistrust into the seemingly rock-steady relationship. So, until she could get hold of Dee's files, she would put into action one of those original plans.

Laura picked up the phone and dialled.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"So you're going home with Drake?" Ryo asked as he closed his briefcase and flipped the catches. Dee leaned back in his chair and grinned, unable to resist the temptation to tease his partner.

"Yup, but you don't mind if I screw his brains out while I'm there do you?"

"Hey!" Drake complained, firing an elastic band at the dark haired man across from him. It hit Dee squarely on the forehead and in his attempt to stop it, he nearly overbalanced on his chair. Ryo and Drake laughed as Dee grumbled.

"I was kidding. Besides, he hasn't got any brains to screw out in the first place."

Ryo shook his head and rolled his eyes. "I'll see you after the game. Keep it quiet if you're coming in late."

"Sure, baby," Dee replied, the grin now back on his face. "If you've gone to bed then make sure you keep it warm for me. And I wouldn't bother going to sleep, if you catch my drift." He winked to emphasise his point.

It was Drake's turn to roll his eyes. "Hey, straight man in earshot! Knock it off, McLain!"

"What?" Dee said innocently. "Can't a guy show a little affection to the one he loves?"

Drake couldn't suppress a smile. "Man, if you put as much energy into work…"

Dee looked suitably indignant. "Hey, we've made two, repeat _two_ successful arrests in the last week alone! What have you done this week, Parker, besides sit around and watch your ass grow?"

Ryo waved a hand between the two men in an attempt to get their attention. "Uh guys? If you don't need me to referee or anything, I'll be going," he said as he headed to the door. He chuckled as Dee blew him a kiss.

He could still hear the two men bickering and trading insults as he started down the stairs. He smiled at the sound of Dee's voice, before loud laughter erupted from the office he had just left behind. Ever since his appointment with Dr Stephens, his specialist, when she had altered his insulin dosage, he had been fit and healthy and filled with his usual abundance of energy. Ryo was almost glad when Drake suggested that Dee come to his place to watch the game. They'd been working hard, making excellent progress on several of their cases, and the thought of a quiet night in to himself was keeping the tired blond detective going as he headed out to his car. A bath, a meal and then bed with a good book; he could barely wait to get home.

He arrived home to find Bicky in from school. The boy hadn't made a start on his homework as Ryo preferred him to, but it didn't dent the detective's good mood any. The successful conclusion to a couple of their cases, as Dee had earlier been boasting to Drake, had taken the heat off them. Ryo hoped, as he idly stirred his dinner in the pan, that they could finally go back to working normal hours, rather than the succession of double shifts that they had been forced to endure recently. They certainly deserved it. Maybe they could even get away for a few days…

Ryo was pondering the likelihood of a short break when the doorbell rang. Bright started barking as he usually did when someone came to the apartment. Knowing it would be unlikely that Bicky had moved from the couch and gone to do his homework yet, Ryo called out to him, not wanting to leave the cooker unattended.

"Bicky? Can you get that?"

He guessed Bicky must have answered it when he could hear voices talking. After a minute the boy appeared.

"Ryo, can you come here for a sec?"

"What's up? I'm just about to…" He looked up from the pan to be met by Bicky's solemn expression. "Ryo, it's important."

Fear coursed through him, his mind still haunted by the time he had realised Dee had left their apartment and walked straight into a trap. He reminded himself that that was all a very long time ago, but he still sensed trouble. He quickly turned off the cooker and followed Bicky out into the living room.

"Mrs Swanson!" he exclaimed in surprise at seeing the middle-aged woman from the Child Welfare Department, whom he hadn't seen since Bicky had formally been adopted. "Is everything okay?"

"I'm afraid not, Mr McLain," she replied, her expression troubled.

Ryo frowned, but gestured to the chair. "Please have a seat, and it's Randy, really."

The blond man was worried. Mrs Swanson had dealt with everything, from the initial guardianship order when he had first taken Bicky in, to the adoption proceedings and finally Dee's application for legal guardianship once they were married. She had dealt with them sensitively and without prejudice and they had gotten to first name terms, so to find himself suddenly 'Mr McLain' again was worrying to say the least.

"Bicky, could you take Bright in your room for a minute while I talk to Mrs Swanson?"

"Uh, sure," Bicky replied, his gaze switching between the two adults seated nervously in the living room. "Bright, come on boy."

The leggy white canine followed him obediently and only when his bedroom door clicked shut, did Ryo speak again.

"What is this about, Mrs Swanson?"

"Is Dee in?" she asked, before she would tell him. Ryo shook his head.

"No, he's out for the evening. Why? What's wrong?"

The older woman sighed as she placed her briefcase at her feet. "I'm not really sure how to say this, but we've had some anonymous allegations made against your husband."

"Allegations? Against Dee?" Ryo replied, dumbfounded. "What allegations?"

Mrs Swanson looked uncomfortable before she renewed her professional façade. "That your husband has been physically abusing Bicky."

"_Abusing?_" Ryo's dark eyes went wide. "Are you serious? That's ridiculous! Mrs Swanson, you can't seriously believe that Dee would…"

"Randy," she said calmly, seeing how upset he was. "I _don't_ believe it. I like Dee but I have to investigate it anyway or I wouldn't be seen to be doing my job. I need to speak to Bicky alone, is that okay? I don't need it, but I'd prefer your permission to do so."

Ryo was too stunned to respond straight away. After several moments had passed, he nodded numbly. "Sure, I'll tell him."

He stood and walked over to the boy's room, knocking lightly on the door. "Bicky? Mrs Swanson needs to talk to you. Is it okay if she comes in?"

Bicky appeared at the door, his expression indicating that he was ready to protest before he saw Ryo's blank face. "I'll watch Bright," Ryo said, making a clicking noise with his tongue that got the dog's attention.

"She can come in here," Bicky said reluctantly before he disappeared back inside his room to await the woman he hadn't expected to see again either. Mrs Swanson smiled supportively at Ryo as she passed. "We won't be long," she assured before he closed the door behind her.

TBC…


	5. Beware of Greeks Bearing Gifts

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 4 – Beware of Greeks Bearing Gifts.

Unsure how to pass the agonising minutes until they came out, Ryo went and sat on the couch. Bright, prompted by some canine instinct, rested his head on Ryo's knee, his different coloured eyes looking up at his master's partner sadly. His soulful expression made Ryo smile weakly as he stroked the dog's head, and he could see why Dee loved having such a faithful companion. When the dog wandered away, his eyes turned to a collection of photographs on the coffee table.

One image had long been his favourite. He had taken it in the apartment when he had been finishing off one of the rolls of film from their honeymoon. In the picture, Dee and Bicky had just returned from a Knicks game, one where their team had trounced the opposition and man and boy were on a high as a result. Ryo had snapped them the moment they had returned, capturing their shared elation for posterity. In a rare moment of unity, Bicky had his arm slung around Dee's shoulder and both were grinning madly. They looked so alive… and happy. Ryo felt a lump forming in his throat that someone could think that Dee could possibly cause the boy harm.

Suddenly there was a loud exclamation from Bicky's room. Presumably Mrs Swanson had just explained the purpose of her visit. He had to fight his emotions as he heard Bicky vociferously defending Dee. The boy was clearly horrified by the allegations too. It wasn't long before Bicky's bedroom door opened and he emerged with Mrs Swanson. The boy had a deep frown etched into his features but the woman was smiling as they both came and joined the detective in the living room. Bright appeared and leapt onto Bicky's knee, licking the boy furiously as if he hadn't seen him for years.

"Ryo, what the hell is going on?" he complained loudly, pushing the dog to one side so he could see the man better. "Who's saying this stuff?"

"I don't know, Bicky," Ryo said, shaking his head. "Mrs Swanson?"

"As I said, the allegations were made anonymously. When I saw the report, I decided to deal with it personally because I knew you all. Frankly, I didn't believe it for a minute, but policy is policy after all."

Ryo nodded but Bicky looked less forgiving.

"Have you any idea why someone would want to make these accusations against Dee?" she continued.

Ryo shook his head, a twinge of fear causing a tightening in his stomach. Dee had been through so much during the Goldsmith affair last year, he wasn't sure they could take anything like that again.

"We've made some arrests recently so it may be linked to that. Also, our names were in the newspaper because of those arrests, nothing spectacular but they always add some comment that Dee and I were the gay cops with a child after all the media interest in us last year." He made a face, recalling the memory. "We received some pretty obscene hate mail from people who thought homosexuals shouldn't be parents."

Mrs Swanson nodded understandingly and sighed. "Unfortunately some people have very clear ideas about who should and shouldn't be parents. I was confident these accusations were just malicious and I'll ensure that if we receive any further allegations we'll do our best to find out who is behind them."

Ryo managed a small smile. "Thank you, we'd appreciate that."

Mrs Swanson stood and picked up her briefcase. "Well, I'll not take up any more of your time. Thank you again for being so understanding. I know this couldn't have been easy."

Ryo showed her out before he returned to where Bicky was sitting, hunched up in the armchair. The blond man sank into the other chair and sighed heavily as he ran his hands through his hair.

"Ryo? I told her it was bullshit. I know me and Dee don't always get along but saying he abuses me… that's crazy."

Ryo looked up and smiled weakly. "It's okay, Bicky. You don't need to explain. I'm just trying to get my head around the fact that someone would do something so malicious to us. Occupational hazard I guess."

"Are you going to tell Dee?"

Ryo looked thoughtful for a moment. He was loathe to put his lover through anymore trauma by worrying him with this news. Goldsmith was in jail and there had been no more repercussions since their commissioner had taken an almost fatal beating. He couldn't bear to think that that particular chapter of their lives wasn't completely closed. It seemed more likely, as Mrs Swanson had assumed, that the mention of their names had simply reignited the hatred of someone who detested the idea of gay men parenting a child. Either way, it wasn't a pleasant thought.

"I have to tell him, Bicky. He'll know something's wrong and I can't lie to him."

"But we've _dealt_ with it," Bicky argued. "I don't want Dee to think that someone's said all this because of something _I've_ said."

"Bicky," the blond man said gently, going over to the boy and putting a supportive hand on his shoulder. "There's no way on God's earth that Dee would think you played any part in this. Remember, he's been 'out' a long time; he's seen a lot of prejudice against homosexuals and the things that people will do to hurt them because they don't approve of alternative lifestyles to their own. He'll see this for exactly what this is, but I _have_ to tell him."

The boy didn't look convinced, so Ryo continued. "We agreed never to keep things from each other, Bicky. That's part of marriage but also, since Dee was diagnosed with PTSD, it became especially important. I know he's much better now but he can still be prone to paranoia if he thinks I'm hiding something from him. Do you understand?"

Bicky nodded. Ryo understood Dee's psyche much better than he; he'd just have to trust that Ryo knew what he was doing. "Is it okay if I go round to Cal's?" he asked.

Ryo smiled, patting the boy's shoulder. "Sure, just don't be too late, okay?"

When Bicky had left, Ryo forced himself to return to his original plans for the evening. He ate, bathed and read, but all the while his mind kept betraying him and he would find himself dwelling on Mrs Swanson's visit. Who in their right mind would be so bitter as to accuse Dee of something so heinous? Aside from a criminal connection, it could only be someone that bitterly opposed their lifestyle. Ryo knew people like that existed. Ever since he and Dee had been together, there had been incidents when people had realised they were a couple. He'd grown stronger over the years; the black looks and muttered comments he could cope with, but this was entirely different. Trying to split apart his family for no better reason than prejudice was indescribably evil.

Bicky returned just after nine and went straight to bed. He didn't mention the events of the evening, but Ryo could tell from his slightly subdued demeanour that it was still on his mind too. Ryo himself was still mulling over what had happened when the key went in the lock and Dee burst in through the door, grinning from ear to ear.

"Hey, baby," he said happily, his gaze distracted by Bright, who bounded in from the kitchen to investigate the noise. He jumped at Dee excitedly; always pleased to see the object of his loyalty. Dee laughed as the dog tried in vain to lick his face. He turned, expecting Ryo's usual disapproving expression but instead was met by worry. The dark haired man frowned, almost overbalancing as the dog jumped at him again and caught him off guard.

"Bright, down," he said firmly, eliciting instant obedience. "Ryo? What's wrong, baby?"

Ryo smiled weakly. Although he hadn't planned to hide the night's events from his lover, he should have known that Dee would have sensed there was something the matter; the man was uncannily accurate at reading his moods.

"Don't worry, me and Bicky are fine. Can you come and sit down for a minute?"

Dark eyebrows knitted together, but he came and joined Ryo on the couch. "Baby? You're worrying me…"

Ryo took Dee's hand in his; physical comfort to soften the blow. "Tonight we had a visit from Mrs Swanson."

"Mrs Swanson the social worker?" Dee asked, mentally placing a face to the name.

"The same."

"What did she want? I didn't think she was still checking on Bicky."

"She isn't. She came because somebody had made a call to the Welfare Department and she was obliged to follow it up."

"A call?"

Suddenly Ryo could understand why Mrs Swanson had looked so uncomfortable at having to break this news. He almost felt sick. "Someone had made an allegation that you… that you are abusing Bicky."

He watched as Dee's expression morphed from confusion to shock to disbelief and finally anger. "What? _Who?_"

"I don't know. It was made anonymously."

"Abusing him? As in?"

"Physically," Ryo clarified, not that that made it any better.

"Fuck no… were they _serious_?" He knew they were, but shock prompted him to ask the obvious.

"Mrs Swanson talked to Bicky and she was satisfied with what he told her, not that she really believed the allegations anyway."

Dee didn't look comforted, despite the show of confidence. He shook his head in disbelief. "Who would do this, Ryo? What the fuck have I done to deserve this?" He suddenly looked angry.

Ryo stared down at his hands. "Bicky is worried that you'll think he's somehow responsible…"

Dee looked stung. "He can be a shit but I know he'd never accuse me of anything like that."

His conviction caused Ryo to smile, having heard the same certainty from the boy's lips when asked about Dee. "I'll talk to him in the morning," Dee said resolutely, his anger subsiding through his need to show Ryo that he was strong again; that he was the old Dee who could brush off even the worst life could throw at him. "I guess this is just another hazard of not conforming to society's norm."

Ryo felt a surge of relief at Dee's reaction, and vowed to follow his example and not dwell on it either. "Come on," he said, reaching up and stroking Dee's smooth olive cheek. "Let's go to bed."

Dee caught his hand and brought it up to his lips. He kissed it as his eyes met Ryo's. "No one will break us, Ryo. _No one_. For better or worse, right?"

The blond nodded. "For better or worse," he repeated, squeezing Dee's other hand as he spoke.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Laura was waiting for the fallout of the phone call she had made. For a couple of days, she heard nothing, then Dee contacted her on her cell phone, asking to meet up. She'd been surprised that he'd sounded so buoyant as they made the arrangements to meet at a coffeehouse not far from the precinct. Had Ryo not thrown him out?

Her boss had been annoyed when she'd told him she was leaving early, but she'd lied and said it was for a doctor's appointment. He'd reluctantly agreed to let her go, but she doubted he really believed her. Since she'd turned up that day with her hair dyed dark and a silver stud through her tongue, she'd been the talk of the office. The rumours were that she'd met someone; the office girls assumed that such a radical change in appearance could only be due to romance. Laura loved the intrigue, and she fuelled it further by dropping hints that they were correct. Now they had the name 'Randy', but she was tight-lipped about any more of the details, loving the powerful feeling of withholding information that others were desperate to know. They could speculate all they wanted.

She had been waiting barely five minutes when he entered the shop, looking around until he saw her waving. He smiled at a couple of women who caught his eye as they studied him appreciatively. Laura saw the look they gave him.

"_Man_, is there anybody whose head you don't turn?" she said, turning it into a joke. _Go on, admit you're tempted. They're both pretty._

Dee grinned as he dropped into the seat across from her. "Ah, but no one can turn _my _head, except Ryo of course."

"Of course," she replied, secretly disappointed by his response. _Dammit__, he looks too happy._ "So, what've you been up to, McLain?"

Dee settled back in his chair, nodding to the waitress who was looking enquiringly in his direction. The staff knew a lot of the cops from the precinct, particularly those like Dee who were creatures of habit when it came to how they took their coffee. She'd delivered the drink before Dee had even begun to answer Tyler's question.

"We've done a few double shifts, been able to wrap up a couple of homicides, _finally._" He rolled his eyes. "Man, I'm looking forward to this weekend. We're both off and Bicky's away at camp so… well I'm sure you can imagine the rest." His eyes twinkled mischievously as he put a cigarette between his lips and lit it. "Mmmmm, ain't I the luckiest guy in the world?"

Laura forced a smile. "Life's just peachy for you, ain't it?"

Dee cracked his knuckles before flicking his cigarette into the ashtray between them. He took a drink of coffee before he replied. "It's not _all_ a bed of roses, you know. Last Monday is proof of that."

Laura raised an eyebrow, her curiosity piqued. "Oh?" She waited patiently for him to draw on his cigarette and blow out the smoke.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. The women on the other table smiled and whispered something to each other. "Someone who clearly doesn't approve of two men being together or adopting a child or _something_, contacted the welfare office to report me for abusing Bicky. I mean, can you imagine it? I'd no more abuse Bicky than I'd…" He paused while he searched for something equally ridiculous, "… than I'd cheat on Ryo."

"Shit… that's really bad," Laura replied, her eyes wide over the rim of her coffee cup. "Any idea who it was?"

Dee shook his head. "Anonymous. Not that they'd tell us even if they knew. Fortunately, the staff at the welfare office know us well, what with Ryo fostering and then adopting Bicky, so they didn't believe a word of it. You gotta laugh at the balls of some people though."

"That's pretty serious, Dee," she said, shocked that he could seem so blasé.

"I know, hell, allegations like that could destroy a weaker relationship, even if they weren't true." He smiled eventually, his expression a look of triumph. "Guess they picked on the wrong guys, huh?"

Before Laura could respond, the two women that had been studying Dee shouted, "See ya, Sexy!" as they got up to leave. Dee turned and grinned as they exited the coffeehouse in a fit of giggles, oblivious to the furious look that Laura shot at the back of his head.

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The glass hit the wall and splintered into thousands of pieces. The sound was followed by a scream; an angry, hate-filled noise that attempted to achieve what the shattered glass had not. It didn't work – the rage was still consuming her. Her plan to cause some mistrust between the lovers had clearly not worked. In the months of preparation when she'd been thinking up ways to hurt them, this had been a strategy she'd been certain would succeed. Randy was obviously a deeply caring individual – after all, he'd taken in a troubled orphan. She'd been certain that his protective parental instinct would override whatever the feelings were that he held for Dee.

She'd told the person she'd spoken to at the Welfare Department that Bicky would probably deny it, fearful of repercussions. Bicky obviously had denied the claims, and the stupid fuck of a social worker had chosen to believe him. More importantly though, _Randy_ had believed him. He knew Dee had a temper. He knew that Dee argued with Bicky almost as often as they took meals. Why was it so absurd that physical abuse could have taken place? Obviously it was Dee, able to sweet-talk his lover into believing whatever he told him.

"Bastard," she growled, her eyes flicking back to the photograph on her dresser. Dee had given it to her a couple of weeks back, when they had all gone bowling together. 'Your new family' he'd said proudly as he gave her the image of the new people in her life. Bicky and Cal were grinning stupidly like the pathetic teenagers they were while Ryo and Dee were shoulder to shoulder, smiling broadly.

In no way placated by her show of ire, Laura plucked the photo from the dresser and sat cross-legged on the floor. Slowly and carefully, she began to rip the picture until only Ryo remained. That part she placed almost reverently back next to her mirror. Next, she threw Bicky and Cal in the trash can before turning her attention to what remained.

"You won't win," she muttered at the image of Dee, still grinning back at her from the glossy paper. She started to tear, ripping again and again until he was completely obliterated. A sense of calm overcame her as she raised her arm and let the pieces scatter around her, creating a snowfall of senseless destruction.

"This is only the beginning, Dee," she warned ominously. "You think you weathered this storm? Well, you haven't seen _anything_ yet."

She needed to get closer. Visiting them wasn't enough to learn about them and know where to attack. The Greeks, frustrated by their inability to defeat the Trojans, resorted to stratagem to get inside the enemy's gates. She would do the same.

Tyler Brown had now become a Trojan Horse.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Mmmmmmm, that's _so_ good," Dee murmured into the pillow as expert fingers kneaded the flesh of his back. "Just a little lower… ah, that's it!"

Sitting astride the lithe olive body of his husband, Ryo smiled. He loved doing this. Even a hardened, quick-talking cop like Dee could be reduced to jelly with a backrub, and he was only too happy to oblige. Since Friday evening when Bicky had been shipped off to camp, the two men had been making the most of the rare time off with a whole weekend together to indulge themselves.

Bright was in the kitchen, happily gnawing on a large bone that Ryo had bought for him. He was worn out. The two men had taken him on an exhausting three hour walk to ensure that when they returned home, he would sleep the day through rather than pestering for them to play. With Bright occupied, they had taken a bath together, laying amidst the foam with glasses of wine before they had moved into the bedroom, renewed and refreshed.

Knowing how much Dee loved massages, Ryo had gotten out some oil and worked his lover's back until the other man was almost asleep. He had long since lost the power of speech. Only the contented grunts told Ryo that he was even awake.

"This is great," Dee said eventually, when Ryo's shifting weight seemed to awaken him. "Maybe we should send Bicky to some kind of residential school…."

"Dee!" Ryo exclaimed, swatting the dark haired man lightly across the head.

"What? It was just a suggestion."

"Maybe we can send Bright with him," Ryo remarked thoughtfully, waiting for the inevitable reaction.

"Hey! What's my little guy ever done to you?" Dee said indignantly, trying to twist around so that he was looking up at Ryo.

The blond chuckled. "Besides eating our furniture, peeing all over the floor, jumping on anyone that comes to the apartment, drooling all over the place…"

"Yeah, those are his good points."

Ryo laughed and playfully smacked him again. "I swear you and that dog were created from the same mould."

"But I'm better looking, right?"

Ryo leaned in and kissed Dee gently on the nose. "Maybe with surgery."

Dee pouted. "Fine husband you turned out to be."

"Wanna trade me in?" Ryo said whilst suggestively trailing a finger down Dee's bare chest. He knew it would work and he wasn't disappointed as Dee's eyes narrowed.

"Trade you in? Hell, I'd _clone_ you if I could!" He reached up and took Ryo's face in his hands, before kissing it hungrily.

"You sure know how to flatter a guy," Ryo replied huskily as they eventually broke the kiss.

"Would you be flattered if I told you I wanted to make love to you right now?"

The blond sighed happily as a hand reached between his legs, stroking his smooth thighs, the touch wandering ever closer to its goal. He closed his eyes as he rested on his elbows, leaning into Dee's teasing fingers.

"I guess it's true when they say that flattery gets you everywhere," he replied, just as the phone started to ring.

"Leave it," Dee said quickly, his lips brushing Ryo's chest as he spoke. Eventually the shrill ringing stopped. "Now, where were we?"

Ryo was just starting to relax when the interruption started up again.

"Fuck!" Dee growled angrily, "I bet it's Bicky. I swear that kid's got a sixth fucking sense that tells him when we're getting it on! Man, it's amazing that I'm not impotent because of him!"

Ryo rolled his eyes at Dee's melodramatic outburst. Before he could move to answer it however, the answering machine clicked on. They both kept silent, wanting to hear who had interrupted their moment of intimacy, and were surprised when JJ's voice came on the line.

"Uh, Dee? Sorry to disturb your weekend off but, um, well you might want to come down to the station. Some of the guys were called out to investigate a street robbery and the victim says she knows you. Physically she's fine, but she's pretty shaken up. Her name is…" There was a pause, filled by the rustling of paper, presumably as JJ searched for the name he had written down. "Tyler Brown. She's really upset and is asking for you, Dee. I said I'd try and get hold of you. Anyway…"

They didn't hear the last part of the message as Dee unsnaked himself from Ryo's embrace and grabbed the crumpled up pair of jeans on the floor. He buttoned them hastily as Ryo handed him a t-shirt.

"Do you want me to come too?" Ryo asked, the bed sheets pooled around his naked form.

"S'okay," Dee said distractedly as he dragged the t-shirt over his head and snatched up his car keys and cigarettes. "You stay here, I'll call you as soon as I can."

Ryo nodded, studying Dee's grim expression, his features set in hard lines as he raced to the door, their afternoon of rest and relaxation forgotten in an instant. Then he was gone. Ryo fell forward into the empty bed and sighed, the warmth of Dee's body disappearing as quickly as the man himself.

TBC…


	6. Mi Casa es su Casa

**Author's note: A slightly revised chapter to comply with NC-17 rule. The uncut scene can be found on other fanfiction sites. I'll continue to repost a chapter a day until I get to the new stuff!**

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 5 –  Mi Casa es su Casa.

Dee parked up, not caring that his car was blocking in two other vehicles. He climbed out and locked the door before jogging into the building.

"Hey, Dee," Janet said, surprised to see the dark haired detective. "I thought you were off this weekend?"

"I was," he replied, not stopping as he hurried past her.

"Elevator's out," she called after him.

She heard a muttered invective before he reappeared and started up the stairs, taking them two at a time. He found JJ in their office. The younger man looked up as he entered, offering Dee a small smile of welcome.

"Oh hey, Dee. Ryo just called to say you were on your way."

"Where's Tyler?"

JJ stood quickly. "I'll take you. They were just waiting for a female officer to come back before they interviewed her."

"D'you know what happened?" Dee asked as they took the stairs together.

"I'm not sure exactly. She pitched up at someone's house in a real state. They called the police. When she got here, she asked that someone call you."

Dee nodded, pausing before he asked his next question. "She was robbed, right?"

"Yeah," JJ replied. "Appears she was attacked by some guy but she managed to fight him off."

"Where'd it happen?"

"Down Cedar."

"_Cedar_? What the hell was she doing round there?"

JJ shrugged, knowing only Tyler could answer that. "She's in here."

"Thanks for ringing me, JJ," Dee said, gratefully laying a hand on his colleague's shoulder.

"No problem," the other replied, giving Dee a reassuring smile as he headed back to his office.

Once JJ had gone, Dee knocked lightly on the door.

"Come in." It was Tyler, her voice subdued.

Dee entered the room, coming face to face with the girl he had loved and protected as a sister throughout his teenage years. She had a bruise on her cheek and her eyes were puffy through crying.

"Hey," he said with a smile. "I came as quick as I could."

Laura sniffed back tears. "Sorry to ruin your weekend," she said before a large salty droplet escaped her eye and slid down her cheek.

"Hey, stop that," Dee admonished gently, hurrying forward and wrapping his arms around the visibly upset girl. She hid her smile in his broad shoulder.

"Oh, Dee. I thought he was going to kill me," she sobbed.

"Shhhh, you're safe," he soothed, rubbing small circles on her back. "And we'll make damn sure we try and get the bastard."

After a minute or so, he let her go. "D'you want to tell me what happened?"

She looked suitably reluctant, even though the story she was about to tell was pure invention. "I met this guy in a diner. We got chatting but when we left the place he got nasty." She let out a strangled sob. "He said he could help me."

Dee cocked his head to one side and frowned. "Help you?"

The girl's expression reflected her supposed embarrassment, and it was a while before she spoke again. Inside, she was perfectly calm. What she was doing was as well-planned as any military operation.

"Oh, Dee. I lied to you when I said I was settled and working. I haven't got a job… and now I haven't got anywhere to live because I got behind with the rent and the landlord kicked me out. This guy said he knew a girlfriend of his who was looking to let out a room in her apartment. I know Cedar's bad, but it was only supposed to be temporary. Just 'til I got back on my feet. He took the last of my money. I've got nothing…" She hid her face in her hands, trying to imagine what his expression was.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he said softly. "You know you can talk to me about anything."

"But you're doing so well for yourself!" she argued. "I knew you'd be disappointed if I told you I was in such a mess."

Dee looked contrite. "Did I really make you feel like that? God, Tyler, I'm so sorry."

She hid her face again, mainly to stop herself from laughing out loud. _He's apologising! Man, this is priceless!_

"Don't apologise," she said, dragging a hand across her cheek, angrily brushing aside a tear. "It's my fault for being a stupid bitch and making such a mess of my life. I should never have come back, I'm just causing trouble for you."

"Hey! Stop talking like that!" Dee said forcefully. "This isn't your fault, okay? And don't be worrying about somewhere to live. You can come and stay with me and Ryo until you get back on your feet."

"Dee…"

"No arguments. You're coming home with me and that's final."

Laura looked up and gave him a watery smile. "What about Randy? You can't just go inviting people to stay without asking him."

Dee waved off her concern. "He'll be fine. He's a good man – he'd never see anyone in trouble. Trust me, he'd suggest exactly the same thing himself."

Laura's smile broadened; an expression that allowed her to reveal her true feelings at last. "I really appreciate this," she said. _And you'll never know how much you'll live to regret it._

Dee stayed with her as she was re-interviewed. Staff in the diner recalled her and her male companion just as she had described, but nobody had paid too much attention since relations had been amicable at that point. Of course, Laura had planned it that way. He was a young man she'd seen begging and she'd offered to buy him a drink. He'd gone willingly and they had parted company without incident. The bruises Laura had caused herself, a discomfort that would ultimately serve a higher purpose. She gave a vague physical description, almost certain that they would never find him – he had talked about heading home to Hempstead so she had given him the money. The last she'd seen of him, he was heading to the station to buy his ticket and if he knew what was good for him, then he would have gone. She didn't really want him to be caught – he was a nice guy and he had served his purpose, allowing her to be seen with a 'suspect'. If he did get caught… well, she would worry about that later.

Her own details were irrelevant, she had Dee to vouch for her and no one was about to question the homicide detective with such a hot-tempered reputation. Eventually, having taken all the information she could give, they had allowed her to leave.

"Doesn't look good, you know," the officer said to Dee once Tyler was out of ear-shot. "There's nothing remarkable in her description and none of the witnesses feel they'd definitely be able to identify him if they saw him again." The man shrugged and closed the file he was holding, the action symbolic of his lack of optimism about finding the suspect. Dee was about to get angry when reality filtered through, and he accepted that the cop was just being honest.

"Well, do your best," he said, looking up and waving as Tyler appeared further down the corridor, having just emerged from the restroom.

They travelled mostly in silence, Dee's occasional questions met by one word answers. Finally he understood how frustrated Ryo must have felt last year when he had been brooding and reticent in the wake of his ordeal, and his lover had been unable to coax him out of it. In the end, he let her be. They parked the car and rode the elevator up the apartment, all the while Tyler clutching anxiously at her bag, supposedly now empty of the only money she had. Aside from that she looked fairly calm, Dee thought to himself, resisting the temptation to ask her again if she was okay.

Ryo let them into the apartment, his anxious expression indicating that he had been waiting for them to return. When he saw Tyler's bruised face he did what came naturally to him and held his arms open to her. He wasn't sure whether she would respond but she did, melting into his embrace as Dee closed the door behind them.

"Do you want something to eat?" Dee asked when she eventually pulled away.

"I could do with a shower," she said, looking suitably downcast.

"Sure, go ahead. I'll make you something to eat for when you're done."

"_I'll_ make something," Ryo interrupted, trying to raise a smile from the girl. "I'm sure Tyler wants something that passes as edible."

His joke worked and she smiled at last. "Thanks, guys," she said as she turned, still clutching her bag, and headed for the bathroom.

When she'd gone, the two men went into the kitchen. Dee bent to stroke Bright, who was curled up in his bed, as Ryo began to search the cupboards.

"I've said Tyler can stay for a while."

Ryo stopped what he was doing and turned around.

"I thought you might," he replied, smiling to indicate that it was okay. "I didn't think you'd want her to go back to her own place and be alone."

"That's the problem. She hasn't _got_ her own place," Dee said quietly as he stood and stretched, Bright looking up at him hopefully. "She lost her job and got kicked out of where she was staying. She went with the bastard that robbed her because he said he knew somewhere she could crash for a while. He waited until they were out of sight before he beat her and took her money."

Ryo's eyes widened as he listened.

"I thought she was more street-smart than that," Dee went on, shaking his head and frowning at his friend's apparent naivety.

Ryo shrugged as he pulled out a can of soup. "Sometimes people do unexpected things when they're desperate," he reasoned, pragmatic as always.

"Yeah," Dee replied, leaning against the counter. "She said she didn't want to ask me for help because I was doing so well for myself and I'd be disappointed in her."

Ryo walked across the kitchen and returned with the can-opener. "Sure, things are good for us now, but things haven't always been so easy," Ryo reminded him. "It's not even twelve months since… well, you know."

Dee nodded grimly, knowing only too well what Ryo was silently referring to. Thoughtful silence lingered as Ryo began to heat the soup, stirring it gently.

"But we came out the other side, and Tyler will too," the blond added reassuringly.

Dee thought about it for a moment before he smiled. "You always say the right thing," he said distracting Ryo temporarily from what he was doing with a kiss. His partner broke the embrace, but as he pulled away and found himself mesmerised by Dee's intense green eyes, he leaned back in for more, unable to escape his own desire. They quickly lost themselves in their actions, only broken by the impatient cough that indicated they were no longer alone.

"Oh, hey," Ryo said blushing slightly as he straightened the front of his shirt that had seconds earlier been fisted in Dee's hungry grip. "Your soup's ready."

Laura forced a smile. _Can't you leave him alone, you animal? Randy shouldn't have to put up with you pawing him all the time._

"Thanks, Randy," she said, sinking into one of the chairs at the kitchen table.

"No problem," he replied, setting the soup down in front of her. "I'll fix Bicky's room up for you. He's back tomorrow but I'm sure he won't mind sleeping on the couch while you're with us."

"I don't want to be any trouble…"

"Tyler," Dee said firmly, placing a hand on the girl's shoulder. "It's _no_ trouble, trust me."

Dee left the room and Ryo found himself under Tyler's watchful gaze. The blond smiled, although he was again struck by the feeling that he had met her before.

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The following day, the two men left for work, giving Tyler the firm instruction that she was to make herself at home while they were gone. Dee was pleased Bright had some company, as he hated leaving his loyal companion alone for any length of time. As soon as she saw Dee's car disappear into the early morning traffic, Laura picked up one of Bright's squeaky toys. The dog looked at her excitedly, ready to play, but she had no intention of entertaining the large beast. Instead, she threw the toy into the small room the two men used as a study and quickly closed the door as the dog followed. She heard him crash into the wooden barrier as he turned to bring the toy back to her.

"Stupid mutt," she growled, feeling more relaxed with the dog safely locked away. She rolled her eyes as he started to whimper, a problem she quickly eradicated by turning up the volume on the TV, even though she had no intention of actually watching it. With Dee and Ryo at work and Bicky at school, she intended to make the most of the free run she had been given of their apartment.

First, she went into their bedroom. It was the first time she'd ever been in there, and she was surprised at the tasteful décor. _Must be Ryo's doing_, she reasoned, unable to believe that Dee could have had a hand in something so pleasing to the eye. She wandered the room, opening the closet doors, carefully making sure that she didn't displace anything that might be noticed. It was hard to tell which clothes belonged to which man, although she correctly guessed that the pile of t-shirts with jokes or slogans on them belonged to Dee. She moved from the closet to the bed.

It was easy to tell who slept where from what she had already learned about the two men. Ryo's bedside table was a picture of order; a book, a pair of reading glasses, and a pitcher of water. Dee's, on the other hand, was pure chaos. An empty cigarette packet sat amongst his spare blood sugar monitor and other general detritus. Laura walked around to Ryo's side.

The book was a John Grisham legal thriller. He had bookmarked his page with a photograph of him and Dee, their arms around each other as they smiled happily for the camera. Laura shut the book quickly. She couldn't resist a peek in his drawer and she opened it slowly so she could mentally record where everything was. At first glance, the contents appeared pretty ordinary and she almost shut the drawer again. Then she spotted the notebook nestled carefully under a book of poetry. She removed it and studied the front cover, her heart racing hopefully. There was nothing written on it to explain the purpose of book, but a glance at the first page confirmed her excited suspicions.

"A diary," she said out loud, her smirk of triumph mutating into a beaming grin as Bright continued to cry in the other room. She closed the drawer and, diary in hand, went to make herself a drink before she sat down to read.

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Laura glanced up at the clock and found she had been reading solidly for almost an hour. She had expected to wade through many dull entries before she found anything worth reading, but from the first page, she was intrigued by what Ryo had written. She turned back to that entry and re-read it:

_We arrived at the house in __Clearwater__ four days ago. The surroundings are truly magnificent and I'm certain that the peace and tranquillity will aid __Dee__'s recovery. He's been so quiet since we got here. The upheaval's been hard on him, I know. He tries to hide it, but his pain is almost palpable. I hate seeing him like this and I'll be honest, it hurts that he won't talk to me about what's troubling him. He seems to be able to talk to Polly so I guess I have to be grateful that at least he isn't bottling it up, even if it isn't me he confides in. I don't know a lot about PTSD so maybe it's for the best…_

Laura sat back and took a long sip of juice. So Dee had been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? It certainly was interesting news. Over the last hour, she had followed the couple's ups and downs through Ryo's words. She learned of their month-long separation while Dee was in England, bitterly wishing that she'd met them sooner so she could have been around Ryo without Dee being present. Her disappointment didn't last long however. The diary had given her such an insight into Dee's state of mind during that period last year that she knew there was ammunition there for her. Certain words leapt out at her, words that would form the foundations of her attack.

_Paranoia_

_Self-doubt_

From what she'd seen, Dee possessed neither of those traits anymore, on the surface anyway. That didn't mean to say that they no longer lurked somewhere, in amongst the swirling waters of his strong personality. She smiled. She would find them, bring them forth until they led the possessor down the path of self destruction.

It would be fun.

In the early part of the afternoon, she put into effect another decision she had made as a result of the men's insistent invitation to live with them. Leaving Bright locked in the study, she left the apartment and hurried to hail a cab, not wanting to be out for long in case Dee rang to check on her. Her mortal enemy, Kelly Capland, was on the front desk as Laura stalked into the reception area of her place of employment, the girl looking up and smiling as she approached.

"Feeling better, Laura?" Kelly asked, although her tone of voice conveyed the clear message that she didn't in any way care.

"Totally," came the confident response.

"So are you here to work?" Kelly asked, eyeing up her casual clothes and letting Laura know with the look that she disapproved.

Laura furnished the blonde girl with a superior smirk, eagerly anticipating the girl's reaction. "No, I'm here to quit."

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Bicky was first to arrive home. He slung his schoolbag by the front door and headed straight for the kitchen, returning shortly with a carton of juice, which he chugged from as he sank into the armchair.

"Hey, Tyler," he said between gulps, "What's up with Bright?"

"What d'you mean?" Laura feigned a look of concern.

Bicky shrugged. "He's quiet. He normally comes running in when I get home."

Laura looked mystified, even though she knew she was wholly responsible for the dog's cowed state. She had eventually let him out of the study a mere fifteen minutes before the time Bicky was expected home and then chased him into his bed in the kitchen, hitting him with her shoe whenever he got out until he no longer dared leave his sanctuary. "Maybe he's sulking because I haven't played with him much," she reasoned. "I know Dee says he's harmless, but I can't help being nervous because he's so big."

Bicky seemed to accept this, having heard her explanation about being bitten a long time ago. He deposited the juice carton on the coffee table before reaching down to turn on his Playstation, oblivious to Laura's frown.

"Don't you have homework?"

The teen looked up, surprised by the slightly demanding note in her voice. "Well yeah, but…"

"I thought you promised Randy you'd do it if you got that," she said, nodding towards the TV and DVD player, surrounded by one of the set of speakers from the home cinema system.

Bicky paused, his finger hovering close to the power button. "Yeah I know, but Dee was supposed to cut down on cigarettes and he hasn't done that yet."

_Why does that not surprise me? _"Well why not set him a good example?" she said, her stare so penetrating that the normally indomitable boy felt slightly intimidated. His finger moved away from switching the console on, and instead, he pushed it back under the television cabinet.

"I guess I could do my homework now…" he said doubtfully, suddenly keen to be away from her. He stood and called to Bright, who trotted through into the living room, glancing malevolently at Laura, before following the boy into his bedroom.

She smiled at last. "If you need any help, just ask."

"Whatever." And then he was gone. Half an hour later, the door opened and the two men stepped in, smiling in greeting at the girl reading quietly on the couch.

"Hi," she said, returning the smile. She lifted the paperback she'd found on the bookshelf in the lounge. "I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all," Ryo replied as Dee went over to the gun safe and began to key in the combination. "Where's Bicky? Is he not home yet?"

"He's doing his homework," she said, her eyes straying from the page she was reading.

Dee looked round, meeting Ryo's identical expression of disbelief, as he disengaged himself from his shoulder holster. "What? Without the aid of thumb screws?"

"Is it that big a surprise?" Laura asked innocently.

"Well… yes," Ryo replied, handing his own holstered weapon to Dee for him to put away. "But a good one I can assure you."

"I just reminded him that he promised you in exchange for all that equipment."

Ryo glanced sidelong at Dee, who was just in the process of lighting a cigarette. "Yeah… I vaguely recall someone else making promises about that."

Green eyes shot up, Dee's expression like a child caught with his fingers in the cookie jar. "What?" he said, cigarette still clamped between his lips, as the other two stared at him.

Ryo rolled his eyes and gave Tyler a look. Her heart surged in excitement at this shared moment where she and Randy were united against Dee. It may have been brief, and light-hearted on the blond's part but Laura, as usual, read more into it than either man would have believed.

"So how you feeling?" Dee asked, coming to sit beside her on the couch.

She wrinkled her nose at the cigarette smoke, which he duly wafted away from her. "I'm okay," she replied, before she rolled her eyes. "Apart from being homeless and broke, that is."

Dee smiled sympathetically at her. "I've told you, it doesn't matter."

"It _does_. First thing tomorrow, I'm going looking for a job."

Dee glanced up at Ryo, who had just entered the living room, before he turned his attention back to Tyler. "Are you sure that's a good idea? No offence, hon, but I'm not sure how keen people will be to employ someone who looks like they've been in a punch up."

Laura tentatively touched her cheek. "Point taken. Maybe I should wait a bit."

"And don't worry about money," Ryo said, taking the last vacant spot on the couch beside Dee, his hand instinctively coming to rest on his husband's leg. "We'll give you whatever you need."

She smiled, forcing herself to look away from the blond's unconscious caresses. "You guys… I don't know how I could ever repay you."

"No payment necessary," Dee grinned, rolling his eyes as the phone rang.

"But I want to!" she called out as he leapt up to answer it, leaving Ryo and Tyler in a companionable silence.

"Danny!" Dee said in delight when the caller identified himself. "How's it goin'?" He disappeared into the kitchen to take the call, although his animated conversation could still be heard by the two in the living room.

"Dee's friend from England," Ryo explained.

Laura nodded. _There's an opening, push! _"What did you think of England?" she asked, knowing full well that Ryo hadn't gone with Dee. "I'd love to go."

Ryo smiled gently. "It's a beautiful place, I'd love to go back."

_Damn, that didn't work. He's obviously been before. _"So what's Danny like then?"

"I haven't met him," he replied. "When Dee met Danny, he was there on his own."

Laura frowned, keeping up the pretence of innocence. "He went on vacation on his own?"

She watched as he turned towards the kitchen, his expression slightly pained, as if he was betraying Dee by speaking. "It wasn't exactly a vacation."

"No?" The question hung in the air for a moment before she continued. "That's cool, if you can't tell me, I mean."

"No…" Ryo said quickly, "It's not that." He smiled as he ran a hand through his hair, disturbing the dark blond locks. "It's all water under the bridge now anyway. Dee's got nothing to hide. You know about the Goldsmith trial last year, don't you?"

"Vaguely," she replied, putting her book down. "I don't tend to watch the news much. You and Dee were involved, right?"

Ryo nodded. "Unfortunately, yes. Dee was hurt and it knocked his confidence. Not that you'd believe it," he added at the raucous bark of laughter that came from the kitchen. He smiled, the sound warming his heart as his mind thought back to those dark days. "He took a long time to heal, and part of what helped was a therapy programme in England. He was away for a month but it did him so much good, Tyler. It was worth being apart from him for so long."

Before she could reply, Dee ended his call and wandered back into the living room, grinning at the two people seated. He re-joined them on the couch but turned to Laura first.

"You want to repay us?"

Laura looked confused. "Sure."

"Will you house-sit for us for a few days? You'll be living here anyway…"

Ryo mirrored Laura's previous expression. "Dee?"

"The Christening," Dee explained. "It's in four weeks. I told Danny we'd definitely be there."

Ryo looked concerned. "Four weeks? That's pretty short notice…"

"S'okay," the other man assured. "I told the Chief it would be sometime in the next month or two. I just had to let him know the date as soon as I found out."

"Oh… right," Ryo replied. He wondered whether it was just his imagination, but sometimes the Chief seemed to go easier on Dee than the rest of them. Still, if it allowed them to get away on a short vacation without too much hassle then who was he to complain? "Okay, I guess I'll leave it up to you."

Dee grinned, liking it when Ryo didn't start to list potential problems with his plans. "I'm gonna go check out some flights online. Tyler, you okay to house-sit? Unfortunately that means looking after a dog and an obnoxious teenager too."

She smiled as he stood, leaving her and Ryo alone on the couch. "Sure. It'd be my pleasure."

"Great," he beamed, striding over to the study. "Bright! Get your sorry ass in here!" he called out jokingly. The scrape of claws on tiles greeted their ears as the dog raced from the kitchen and skidded to a halt in the living room. He seemed to pause reluctantly as Dee held the study door open for him, his eyes scrutinizing his master to see if he was going to lock him in on his own as the girl had done earlier.

"Come on, bonehead," Dee cajoled, stepping into the room to show the dog what he wanted him to do. Seeing his master was going in there too, Bright obediently followed. Ryo shook his head and smiled, amused by their antics. When he turned back to Tyler, he found that she was watching _him_.

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Dee was half asleep when Ryo walked into their bedroom and closed the door. One green eye cracked open as Ryo shed his pyjama jacket in preparation to climb into bed. He'd long since given up trying to sleep fully clothed with Dee around.

"Hey, baby," Dee said sleepily, one arm snaking around Ryo's waist as he sat down on the bed. "Come and get nekkid with me."

"Dee…" Ryo said, resisting his husband's attempt to pull him down onto the mattress. His tone of voice alerted the dark haired man, who opened his other eye and looked at him carefully.

"What's up?"

Ryo sighed. "I'm really sorry, Dee, but I told Tyler a little bit about what happened last year. She was wondering why you were in England on your own. I didn't know how else to explain…"

"Hey," Dee soothed, succeeding at last in drawing his lover into his arms. "It doesn't matter. Tyler's practically family, so don't feel bad."

"I only said you'd been on a therapy programme because you'd lost confidence. I didn't go into any detail."

"Ryo, what did I just say? It's okay, really." The assurance was punctuated by a soft kiss to the blond's jaw line. Ryo sighed at the electric sensations produced by the stimulation to his sensitive flesh, allowing Dee to turn his head so he could receive more. He was greedy when it came to Dee's touch, and now would be no different. He would take as much as his husband would offer. Lying on Dee's chest facing away from him gave the dark haired man full access to his chest, and his nipples that hardened beneath skilled fingers. Ryo gasped as Dee attended to each one in turn, all the while continuing the melting kisses around his throat. He didn't protest when the hand strayed below the waistband of his pyjama pants.

After several minutes of enjoying Dee's touch, he wriggled free, turning over to bring them face to face. They met in a long passionate kiss, lips and tongues vying for dominance, which Ryo eventually won. Dee grinned in defeat, this being one battle he was always happy to lose. He moaned softly as Ryo continued his attack, long fingers stimulating the fine hairs on the back of his neck. He knew just where to target, having carefully memorised all of Dee's erogenous zones ever since their relationship had become intimate. As usual, his touches had the desired effect, and Ryo found himself enveloped by a powerful pair of arms.

"Want you," Dee growled in a deep, half-whispered voice.

"Then have me," came the teasing reply.

Outside their room, Laura stood with the glass of milk she had just gotten from the kitchen. With Bicky sleeping on the couch, she moved almost silently, the lack of sound preventing the men in the bedroom from knowing that not all the household was asleep. Initially the sounds from within had indicated movement, possibly from someone moving restlessly in their sleep. When her ears detected the low murmur of voices, followed by guttural moans of pleasure, she was in no doubt as to the real reason behind the sound of activity this late at night. Shaking with anger, she turned and headed back to her own room.

On the couch, Bicky could only wonder why she had stood there for so long, listening to the barely-audible passion taking place in the other room.

TBC…


	7. Baby Blues

**Author's note: The re-post continues. I hope people haven't wandered away! Thanks, Dyna for letting me know about my settings – I've changed it so I can now accept anonymous reviews. After this chapter, it all starts kicking off as the angst wagon rolls into town! For anyone who has come straight into this fic and is scratching their heads about Dee and Ryo's British friends, then 'Crash and Burn: So Far Away' will answer your questions. -Swordy**

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 6 – Baby Blues.

"Dee? Have you got the tickets?"

"Yup, just like I did the last time you asked."

Ryo made a face as Dee rolled his eyes. Cal giggled, all of them having been on the receiving end of Ryo's constant organising at one time or another. They stood by the front door of their apartment, a large bag and a suitcase packed and ready to go. Tyler, Bicky and Bright were also in attendance, listening to Ryo's seemingly endless list of dos, don'ts and _definitely nots_.

"Take it easy, baby," Dee said, trying to spare the kids any more lectures as well as get Ryo to the airport _before_ their plane took off. He squatted down to fuss Bright for a bit, the dog obviously pleased by the attention.

"Okay, okay, I get the message," Ryo said, knowing anything else he said was likely to fall on deaf ears. "You've got the number of our hotel. Ring if there's anything…"

"Ryo! Tyler's here to keep an eye on things so stop with the worrying, okay?" Dee said in frustration, hefting the suitcase easily with one hand, while opening the door with the other.

Ryo smiled at the young woman who had proved to be a welcome addition to their already colourful household in the month that she had been staying with them. She never seemed to tire of helping him and he felt better knowing she would be around while they were in England for the next five days.

"Okay, I know I'm fussing but someone's got to, right?" he said, reaching for the remaining bag. "Well, see you next week and thanks again, Tyler."

The girl waved off his thanks. "No problem. You just go and have a great time. Oh, and Dee?" she added as they were about to leave. "Don't drop the baby."

They all chuckled with the exception of Dee, who looked horrified when it dawned on him that as a godparent, he would be expected to hold Danny's baby son at some point.

"Oh great, way to put a curse on me…" he muttered as he headed towards the elevator at the end of the hall, waving over his shoulder with his free hand. "Later, all."

Ryo grinned as he prepared to follow his husband down to the waiting cab. "Take care, guys. We'll see you soon."

The three young people watched them go before Tyler closed the door behind them. She smiled at the teenagers, before she turned and walked towards the kitchen. Only then did Bicky's smile slip. For the most part, Tyler seemed okay. She could be good fun and had defended him when Dee was teasing him relentlessly, but there were little things that wouldn't sit with him, no matter how hard he tried to disregard them.

"Hey," Cal said, locking her fingers with his and pulling gently on his arm to shake him from his reverie. "What's up?"

The blond teen shrugged before his mouth twitched upwards into a mischievous smile. "Just thinking about what we can get up to while they're gone." He winked at his girlfriend, just as Tyler's head reappeared around the doorframe.

"I don't think so," the girl said, the comment clearly meant as a joke, but Bicky couldn't help but think that she meant it.

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Ryo noticed Dee had grown quiet as they neared Manchester. As the landscape whizzed past beyond the cab's window, he had fallen into quiet reflection, giving Ryo no indication as to how he felt to be back in the city. Although the outcome of the PTSD programme had been good, Ryo knew from the anguished late-night phone calls Dee had made that it had been a hard-fought battle.

"Dee?" he said eventually. "You okay?"

 Dee turned suddenly, his surprise confirming Ryo's suspicion that he had been firmly entrenched in his own thoughts. "Yeah, just daydreaming I guess." He didn't elaborate and Ryo had learned not to push.

"Did you call Danny?"

Dee nodded, giving the outside world one last glance before he turned his body round to give Ryo his attention. "Yeah. I told him we'd landed and were on our way to the hotel. He's booked us a table at a restaurant in China Town but he said he'd understand if we were too jet-lagged to meet up with him and Lisa tonight."

"I feel fine," Ryo said. "What about you?"

Dee smiled. "Nothing a shower wouldn't fix." He frowned as Ryo chuckled. "What's so funny?"

"I thought you were going to say something else then," Ryo teased.

Dee caught the twinkle in his dark eyes and grinned. "Well, I wouldn't say 'no' if you're offering…"

Ryo laughed, glad that Dee didn't appear to be too unsettled, despite his previous silence. "We'll see."

They arrived at their hotel, situated on the outskirts of the city centre. Dee had thought highly of the facilities at the Metropolitan but actually staying there again felt like he would be dredging up the past. He was here under different circumstances; it only felt right that they should stay somewhere different. After unpacking their belongings for the short stay, they showered together and dressed before heading down to the reception. The girl on the desk called them a cab, which arrived a mere five minutes after it was ordered. The driver knew the restaurant and took them straight there, making friendly conversation with the two Americans as he navigated his car through the busy streets.

The restaurant staff, dressed in authentic Chinese garb, showed them through to the bar area to get a drink while they waited for their table to be prepared. Danny and Lisa hadn't arrived, and the two men found themselves watching the door as they chatted. Ryo spotted them first, having received a brief physical description of Danny from his husband. Dee spun around, his face breaking into an enormous grin. Danny looked good and Lisa was just as he'd imagined from Danny's own description.

"Well, frig me, if it isn't Dee Latener!" Danny exclaimed loudly, his own expression identical to Dee's.

Dee laughed as he wrapped his arms around the other man and hugged him tightly. "Actually, you're wrong, my friend. The name's McLain now!"

"Oh yeah," Danny chuckled. "I forgot you're a married man now."

"Indeed I am," Dee replied proudly, taking the cue to introduce Ryo. "Danny, this is my husband, Ryo, Ryo this is Danny."

"Pleased to meet you," the two men said simultaneously as they shook hands. As they parted, Danny slid his arm around Lisa's waist to draw her forward. "Dee, Ryo, this is Lisa, my fiancée."

Dee picked up on the subtle change of status. "You got engaged? Congratulations." Ryo echoed his sentiment as Lisa greeted them shyly.

A waiter came over and informed them their table was ready. The three men and one woman followed him across the restaurant before settling into their seats at a round table.

"So who's looking after David tonight?" Ryo asked, noting how Lisa's face lit up at the mention of her baby son.

"My parents," she replied. "We're never stuck for babysitters. If it's not my mum and dad then it's Danny's mum. We're lucky if we can get him back!"

The two men laughed. "You should count yourself lucky," Dee grinned, toying with his chopsticks. "We can't _give_ Bicky away."

"Hey," Ryo admonished lightly. "He's not _that_ bad."

"How is he?" Danny asked, nodding his thanks as the waiter handed him a menu.

Ryo smiled. "He's doing really well. He turned fourteen at the end of last year and he really seems to be growing up. His schoolwork is still variable but generally, I think he's calming down. Cal is definitely a good influence on him. That's Bicky's girlfriend," Ryo explained, in response to Lisa's inquisitive expression. "She's always around at our place."

"Wow. Sounds like it's always busy at yours," she replied with a smile.

"Is it!" Ryo agreed. "What with Dee's dog and now we've got another houseguest."

"Tyler," Dee clarified. "I grew up with her in the orphanage but she went missing about ten years ago. A few months back, she just turned up out of the blue."

"Just like that?" Danny asked in surprise.

"Yeah. Isn't it crazy?"

"I'd say so," Danny agreed. "You should consider opening up a hotel."

The two men laughed as the waiter returned to see if they were ready to order. They settled for a banquet, sharing the many courses between them as they chatted about life and family. The wine flowed with the conversation. Ryo could see why Dee had found a friend in Danny; the two men were very alike and he felt a strong sense of camaraderie with Lisa, who was clearly the calm voice of reason to her headstrong other.  The evening passed quickly and all were reluctant for it to end. Still not affected by jet-lag, the American visitors agreed when Danny invited them back to their house for some late-night drinks.

At the couple's terraced house in Denton, they were introduced to Lisa's parents who greeted the newcomers warmly, having heard much about Dee in particular from their future son-in-law.

"David's been as good as gold," Marion, Lisa's mum, gushed warmly as the conversation turned to the couple's baby. "He went down about three hours ago and we haven't heard a peep out of him since."

"Thanks," Lisa said, kissing each of her parents in turn as she showed them to the door.

"See you at the Christening," Marion called out to the men in the other room.

Once they'd gone, Lisa set about finding them drinks. When the baby monitor flared to life, transmitting the hungry cries of their son, Danny offered to go and see to him. When he hurried upstairs, Ryo also excused himself, leaving her alone in the kitchen with Dee. They'd been chatting amicably when Lisa's expression suddenly turned serious and she neglected the drinks she had made for a moment.

"I've never had a chance to thank you up 'til now, Dee," she said quietly, looking up at the handsome man solemnly. "Danny and I did a lot of talking when he came home. I never knew how much he'd been hurting." She looked away, feeling guilty that she hadn't done enough.

"He was trying to protect you," Dee replied quietly. "He hid it well."

Lisa nodded, recalling what Danny had told her. "That's Danny all over, always wanting to sort things out on his own." She smiled wistfully as she switched the kettle on. When she turned back around, Dee was listening to the conversation coming from upstairs. Danny was obviously introducing Ryo to his baby son.

"And how are you, Dee?"

At the question, the dark haired man turned to see Lisa watching him closely. He didn't know how much Danny had told her – he doubted she knew everything – but the fact that he'd been on the programme in the first place meant she knew that he'd been having his own problems.

"Things are good, great even," he replied honestly, his smile reflecting his sincerity. "I got there in the end, and like Danny, it was the support I had from those I loved that made the difference."

He looked straight at her, checking she had understood. She smiled in return, taking the compliment graciously.

"You look really happy," she commented while pouring four cups of coffee. "You and Ryo make a nice couple."

"Thanks," Dee replied as a creak on the stairs told him someone was coming down.

"Dee, come and see." The delight in Ryo's voice brought him out of the kitchen, just as Ryo and Danny appeared, the latter carrying his baby son in his arms. Ryo was clearly smitten.

"Dee, this is David, your godson." Danny grinned as he carefully transferred the sleeping infant into the taller man's arms. Dee looked petrified for a brief moment before awe set in as he gazed down at the child's delicate features.

"Isn't he gorgeous?" Ryo remarked, leaning in and stroking the tiny fingers curled into a loose fist.

"Uh oh, someone's broody," Danny chuckled before Lisa's frown made him stop. "Oh hey, sorry… I didn't think."

Ryo smiled. "It's okay. We've got Bicky… we just bypassed the nappy stage."

Dee looked up from the mesmerising sight of his godson and rolled his eyes. "Amen to that!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Later on, Dee sat at the open window of their hotel room, smoking a cigarette and watching the ebb and flow of the traffic down below. It was after one am but, like New York, the city looked nowhere near ready to call it a night. Ryo was sitting up in bed reading, studying a guide of the area to see where they could visit the following day.

"Ryo?"

The blond man looked up as the silence was broken, lowering his book to show Dee that he had his full attention.

"You know… you know what Danny said earlier?" Dee began, crushing his cigarette into the ashtray. "Does it bother you?"

Sensing he would be answering a question that clearly Dee had been contemplating ever since the remark was made, Ryo took off his reading glasses and looked straight at his husband.

"I'll admit, I always assumed I'd father a child one day," he said, knowing he needed to choose his words carefully, "But I don't regret that my life took a different path to the one I imagined as a boy." He smiled warmly, wanting to convey his sincerity. "Besides, I _am_ a father. Bicky may not be my own flesh and blood, but I _am_ still his dad."

"Yeah, I know," Dee replied quietly as he closed the window and placed the ashtray back on the table. "I'd just hate to think you gave up on your dreams because of me."

Ryo looked saddened that Dee could feel that way, despite all his reassurances. They'd had a similar conversation back when Ryo's cousin Carrie had phoned to tell them she was pregnant. Dee had become reticent at the news and it had taken a while before Ryo was able to coax the reason from him.

"Dee… I haven't given up on my dreams," he said, throwing back the covers and climbing out of bed to stand in front of his lover. "I have new dreams now, of watching Bicky graduate and go off to college, get married and have his own children." He smiled and draped his arms around Dee's bare shoulders. "Of you and me growing old together, retiring somewhere peaceful, mixing up each other's false teeth."

Dee laughed and shook his head, his raven locks tickling Ryo's face.

"I like the sound of that," he agreed. "With the exception of the teeth thing."

"Come to bed, love," Ryo said, his arms sliding down to take Dee's hands in his.

Dee nodded, allowing Ryo to pull him forward onto the bed. A kiss greeted him as they lay down together, skin on skin.

"You're beautiful," Dee whispered as he studied Ryo's well-proportioned face. "And I'll always love you."

Ryo returned the affection with a succession of delicate kisses across his lover's face. He ran his thumb across the shiny patch of scar tissue near Dee's left eye; a product of his lover's ordeal last year and a constant reminder that they should take nothing for granted and leave nothing unsaid.

"I love you too."

Dee smiled before he kissed Ryo again, more intensely this time. When they broke for air, the smile had become a full-blown grin, his eyes twinkling with barely-repressed excitement.

"Do we have to get up early tomorrow?" he asked, running his fingers through his lover's hair as he lay across him on the bed.

Ryo cocked his head and smiled. "No, why?"

"Because, I intend to keep you up very, very late tonight."

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"Bicky, dinner's ready," Cal called from the kitchen as she plated the spaghetti she had cooked. She smiled at the sound of running feet, Bicky entering the room with Bright hot on his heels.

"Did you finish your homework?" she asked, setting the plate down in front of him. The boy looked up, making a face.

"You sound like Ryo," he grumbled, shovelling some of the steaming pasta into his mouth as he rolled his eyes. "Or Tyler. She's been like friggin' Hitler lately."

"Now stop it," Cal scolded, having heard Bicky's complaints about the house sitter since the two detectives had left for England three days previously. "She's only following Ryo's instructions."

"Yeah sure," he muttered, as the sound of the front door opening greeted them. "Speak of the devil…"

Cal giggled behind her hand as Tyler entered the apartment.

"Hey, guys," the older girl said, dumping her bags on the counter before taking a seat at the table. "Cool… spaghetti."

"There's plenty in the pan," Cal said sweetly, gesturing to the cooker. "I always make too much."

"Thanks."

The two teens watched as she helped herself to a plate of pasta before rejoining them at the table. Over the past few days, her tolerance for the boy in particular had started to wane and she knew her irritation was beginning to show. Being apart from Randy wasn't helping matters either, but she knew she needed to make amends to keep him onside for the sake of her pretence.

"Hey, don't tell Randy but I rented us some PS2 games."

Bicky looked up from his food. "Cool, what did you get?"

"Um, Mafia and Manhunt."

Bicky grinned, knowing they were games Ryo definitely wouldn't have approved of. "Excellent!"

_Idiot.__ You're like a dog; throw you a fucking bone and you're anybody's._ "Look, Bicky. I guess it's my way of saying sorry for being a miserable bitch recently." She toyed with her spaghetti for a moment. "I've been having freaky dreams about that guy that attacked me and I think the lack of sleep's getting to me."

Bicky and Cal exchanged surprised glances at the admission from the normally tough-talking girl.

"Hey, it's no big deal," Bicky assured, "When Dee came home from hospital last year, he used to have nightmares all the time. They must have been pretty bad to make him yell so loud…" he stopped at the look Cal gave him. "Yeah, well, thanks for the games."

Laura smiled broadly. "No problem."

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They played video games late into the night. Laura chatted with Cal while Bicky lay on the floor with Bright next to him, mercilessly pounding on the control pad.

"Shit," he swore as he died for the forty-seventh time that evening. "Even Dee wouldn't be able to do this level." He paused his game and disappeared briefly into the kitchen, before returning with a can of soda and a dog biscuit, which he threw to Bright, who caught it deftly in his mouth.

"It's really great that you're cool about Dee and Randy," Laura remarked suddenly, her chin resting on her knees as she sat on the couch. She wanted to test the water; find out if their absence would allow Bicky to share any discomfort he felt at living with two gay men. The boy looked around as Bright began to chew happily on the hem of his t-shirt. "What d'you mean?"

"With them… you know, being together. I'd have freaked at your age." Tyler smiled, wanting him to take the comment as a compliment since he clearly wasn't going to talk.

Bicky shrugged with typical teenage nonchalance. "It's no big deal. I never give it much thought anymore."

"Yeah, well," she replied, stretching languidly. "I'm glad you're cool with it. Dee deserves a good life."

"You really care about him, don't you?" Cal commented, smiling.

"Sure I do; he's like my big brother."

Done stretching, she stood and picked up the empty coffee mug she had balanced on the arm of the chair. "Well, g'night guys. Don't stay up too late and remember, not a word about the games to Dee or Randy. They'd have my head if they knew."

"No probs," Bicky replied, resuming his game with new-found enthusiasm. "Night, Tyler."

When she'd gone, silence descended as Bicky played and Cal browsed idly through a magazine. Tiring of the publication some twenty minutes later, Cal set about distracting Bicky by poking him with her feet until he gave up and paused the game. "Hey!" he complained as she giggled. "You'll wake Tyler!"

Cal leaned in conspiratorially. "Don't you mean Hitler?"

"She's okay, I guess," he answered, pulling his girlfriend in for a quick kiss. "She just needs to loosen up and a few days with the Bickmeister is just the ticket!"

Cal laughed, unaware that on the other side of Bicky's bedroom door, Laura was also smiling. Satisfied that she had the troublesome teen back on her side, she climbed into bed and allowed herself to relax.

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Dee and Ryo arrived home late that Friday night. Drake picked them up from the airport and was subjected to endless chatter, mostly from Dee, about what a great time they'd had. Typically, it was Ryo who asked about work first.

"Trust me, you chose a great time to get away," Drake grumbled half-heartedly. "Me and JJ got landed with a bitch of a case."

"Unlucky there, pal," Dee chuckled, patting Drake on the shoulder from the back seat as the other man accelerated along the freeway.

"What are the details?" Ryo asked, ignoring his husband's delight that they had avoided a difficult case.

"It's actually a case that's been reopened. You remember we wrapped up the Anderson Stalker murders last month? Well, the chief has asked us to look into some similar unsolved cases from the eighties and nineties. Day after day down in that stinkin' old basement ain't what I need, let me tell you."

Ryo made a sympathetic face, having experienced the musty, archaic storage facilities for himself. "Well, if we're not given a case the second we walk in the door then me and Dee can always give you a hand, right Dee?"

"Sure," the other man replied dubiously. He looked at Drake and rolled his eyes. "See what happens when you marry a saint?"

Drake laughed. "Well, I appreciate the offer, guys, but I think we'll be okay. We've got most of the case files out now."

Ryo nodded as the car came to a stop outside their apartment block. "Do you want to come in for a drink?"

"I'll pass," Drake replied, glancing at the car's clock as they climbed out and began to unload the bags from the trunk. "Early start in the morning. When are you back in?"

"Day after tomorrow," Dee answered, his expression indicating that he'd rather not be reminded.

"Awww, you know he doesn't mean it," Ryo grinned, slipping an arm around his husband's shoulder before ruffling his already unruly hair affectionately.

"See you then," Drake chuckled, slipping back behind the wheel.

"Thanks for the ride, Parker," Dee said gratefully, patting the roof of the car as the other man drove away, waving to them through the open window.

When the car had gone, Dee picked up the remaining bag and followed Ryo into the lobby of their apartment block.

"It's good to be back," Ryo remarked with a smile as they rode in the elevator up to their floor.

"Don't speak too soon," Dee warned ominously, "We haven't seen what chaos Bicky's caused yet."

"I'm sure it'll be okay; Tyler was watching him, after all."

Dee grinned suddenly. "Can't wait to see my little guy."

"I _know_ you're not talking about Bicky now," Ryo replied, one eyebrow quirked to compliment his frown.

Dee laughed as he gestured for Ryo to go first when the elevator doors opened at the landing.

"Guys? We're home!" Ryo called out as they entered the apartment and deposited the bags by the door.

"Hey, welcome back."

Tyler was first to appear, coming out of the kitchen, a broad smile on her face. Bicky and Bright weren't far behind, emerging from the boy's bedroom at the sound of voices. The dog, on seeing his master had returned, bounded towards Dee and leapt at him excitedly.

"Hey there, you handsome son of a bitch!" he teased as he grappled with the writhing, wriggling mass of canine. "Literally!" he added, thinking about his choice of phrase and chuckling.

Ryo rolled his eyes before turning to the other people in the room. "So how are things?"

Tyler smiled. "Everything's fine. Right, Bicky?"

The boy nodded enthusiastically, having been on the receiving end of Laura's favourable treatment for the last few days. The good food, other treats and lack of nagging had helped cloud the boy's niggling doubts about their houseguest.

"The apartment looks great," Ryo remarked, genuinely impressed. "Doesn't it, Dee?"

"Uh, yeah," his lover replied, finally managing to prise Bright off him. "Thanks, Tyler."

"Don't thank me," she told him, looking at Bicky's indignant expression. "It was a joint effort."

"Well, it's really nice to be home," Ryo said happily, looking around at the assembled members of his family.

"It's good to have you back," Tyler responded as she studied him hungrily, aiming that comment at one person and one person alone.

TBC…


	8. Scientia est Potentia

**Author's note – Apologies to 'damn it' who feels I am reposting too slowly. I would have preferred not to have to repost at all, but hey, I got wiped, that's life. I _am_ re-posting a chapter a day though…**

**Kitty in the Box – Thanks for your kind words.**** I'm re-posting because my account got deleted, not because I thought there was anything wrong with it first time round! I'm glad you're still reading though.**

**And Dyna – Thanks for just being you, hon. **

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 7 - Scientia est Potentia

The following day was spent around the apartment; resting, relaxing and catching up on necessary jobs like washing and shopping for groceries. In the afternoon, Dee took Bicky to his basketball practice, Bright going with them happily, leaving Ryo and Tyler alone in the apartment.

They sat and chatted after they had returned from the grocery store, their conversation mainly about the detectives' trip to England. As well as poring over the photographs that had just been developed, Ryo told the girl how the event they'd gone for, David's Christening, had been wonderful, describing the child himself as 'adorable'.

"You're really good with kids," Laura remarked as she studied a photograph of Ryo holding the baby.

Ryo smiled. "You sound just like Dee." He paused before continuing, feeling comfortable confiding in Tyler. "I think seeing me with Danny's baby made Dee a little worried that I wanted one of my own."

"And you don't?" she asked, drawing her legs up underneath her.

Ryo shook his head, his answer momentarily delayed as he sipped his tea. "No, I don't."

"Really? God's honest truth?"

Ryo sighed. "Obviously I always thought I'd have children, but that was before I knew what I really wanted. I'll admit, I was a little overwhelmed by Dee's attentions at first, but it wasn't the first time I'd contemplated that I might be gay. Dee just… made me think about it a little more thoroughly." He smiled, recalling his lover's insistent pursuit over the years. "Funny thing was, I really, _really_ liked him too. I thought he was gorgeous but I guess I was still in denial about my attraction to him. Dee and Bicky are all I've ever wanted. I have my family; I don't need a baby to complete it."

"Okay… I hear you," she replied, and for a moment Ryo thought she seemed upset. He wondered whether she felt he was flaunting his happiness, and if he should apologise, but her mood seemed to pass before he could comment.

Unbeknown to Ryo, Laura was more than a little upset. Up until then, she had never heard Ryo talk so plainly about his attraction to Dee and it had been easy to tell herself that the relationship was one-sided, that Dee's constant pursuit had been responsible for grinding down his partner's resolve. Ryo had accepted the relationship because it was easier than dealing with the constant hassle of rebuffing Dee's advances. But to hear him confess his own desire was too much.

She had had enough.

The words were out of her mouth without a moment's hesitation. "You know, Dee _did_ say something earlier." She was right; he _had_, but it had been nothing more than the observation that Ryo was good with kids.

"What did he say?" Ryo asked, looking concerned.

Laura made a face, like she was about to tell tales and didn't like it. "It wasn't anything really; just that he's worried that you want kids and being with him has prevented that."

Ryo looked both wearied and hurt. "We've talked about this so many times, Tyler. I just don't know how I can get him to believe me."

The girl held up her hands. "Hey, maybe I was wrong…"

"No," Ryo assured her. "You're probably right. This just seems to be one of those things that I can't get through to Dee about."

She nodded sympathetically, although she was already formulating the next part of her plan. Later on, when Dee and Bicky returned, she sensed Ryo's unhappiness in his actions and gestures – nothing overt, but she knew he was still brooding about what she had said. Dee had obviously noticed it too, but his attempts to find out if his partner was okay were repeatedly met with the same adjective – 'fine'.

She didn't even have to raise the issue later on when Ryo left to drive Bicky over to Cal's place. As soon as he was out of the door, Dee was ready.

"Is Ryo okay, Tyler?" he asked the girl as he emptied the contents of a tin into Bright's dish, the dog looking on eagerly. "He seems a bit distracted."

Laura turned, pausing momentarily as she dried the saucepan. "I didn't notice. Why'd you ask?"

Dee straightened up, frowning as his knee joints clicked in protest at the movement. "He just seems… quiet. Have I done something I don't know about? He seemed okay this morning. Did he say anything while I was out before?"

Laura made a thoughtful face before she shook her head. "Not that I'm aware of. We were just talking about your trip to England. Randy was telling me how gorgeous Danny's baby is and how envious he is of him."

A frown creased Dee's forehead. "Envious?"

"Yeah," she replied, going back to drying the dishes to give the impression that what she was saying wasn't such a big deal. "He said he'd love to be in Danny's shoes, you know, creating new life, own flesh and blood, etcetera."

"He said that?" Dee questioned, his tone of voice indicating dejection.

Laura knew she couldn't pretend to be oblivious to his hurt forever, even though she was enjoying it immensely. "Dee, have I said something wrong? I hope I'm not speaking out of turn or anything…"

"No, no," he reassured. "I'm glad you _have_ told me. At least I know how Ryo _really_ feels, even if he constantly tells me different."

The girl put down the serving ladle she was holding and walked over to him. She laid a supportive hand on his arm as he looked at her miserably.

"Why won't he just be honest with me, Tyler?"

 "Because he loves you and doesn't want to hurt you." She offered him a sympathetic smile, despite the triumph which burned within her.

"But I'm more hurt knowing he won't tell me the truth."

"Look, he probably just got a bit broody seeing the baby an' all. Give it a few days, it'll pass and things will go back to the way they were."

"You think?" he replied, dubious of her optimism.

"Sure." _But not if I can help it_.

Her separate dialogues with the two men hung like a malingering presence over them as they retired to bed. Ryo went first, announcing his plans to his husband, who stated that he would come when he had finished watching TV. Ryo watched him for a moment, lying on the couch with Bright draped across his stomach, before he headed for their bedroom, hurt and confused that something seemed to be affecting their normally uncomplicated relationship. Communication had broken down, and Ryo's natural instinct was to try and fix it, but he had long since learnt that Dee was also responsible for calling a cease-fire. He wanted Dee to do it on this occasion, since he was hurt that his lover still didn't believe him about not wanting a baby, but Dee's attitude towards him over the course of the evening had indicated that he would do no such thing. Frustrated at the stalemate situation, Ryo decided to go to bed alone.

The tension continued for the next couple of days. There were lots of circular conversations – '_What's up with you?_', '_Nothing's up with me, what's up with you?_' – and so on. Bicky and Cal sensed it too but said nothing, knowing that the underlying tension was a private matter between the two men. Only Laura enjoyed the awkwardness. On the face of it she was sympathetic, a good ear for when either one of them needed to unburden their frustration about the situation that neither man would admit to, or even talk about. Their lack of communication meant that her lies about what the other had said never got called into question. It had been a gamble, but it appeared to be paying off.

She was gleefully starting to wonder whether she had done all she had to when a truce was unexpectedly called. From what she could gather, it happened inadvertently – situation had drawn them back together rather than any actual negotiation. Three days after their falling out, Laura received a phone call from Dee to say that they were finishing their shift early because Ryo had been hurt. He didn't elaborate, other than to say his husband had been checked over at the hospital and released, but only on the condition that he went straight home. Since it was her precious Randy, her anxiety wasn't feigned as she held the door open for them when they arrived home.

Dee smiled anxiously as they passed, his arm supportively encircling Ryo's waist as he guided him into the apartment. The other man looked ashen, and part of his forehead was obscured by a bandage – the only obvious clue as to what had happened.

"Here… Lie down," Dee instructed, helping Ryo remove his jacket before he manoeuvred him onto the couch.

"What happened?" Laura asked as she watched Ryo settle onto the piece of furniture and close his eyes.

Dee glanced up at her as he tenderly loosened his lover's tie and slipped it from around his neck; his movements careful so as not to jolt the injured man. "We were assisting with a drugs bust. One guy made a break for it and managed to clean Ryo out with a baseball bat on the way." He paused and shook his head. "I _knew_ we should have stayed together."

Ryo reached for his husband's hand. "We did what we thought was right at the time, Dee. No point dwelling on it. I'm okay aren't I? Don't worry."

Dee didn't look comforted. "Baby, you were knocked out for over _two_ hours and you have a concussion. How can you expect me not to worry?" He stood and ran a hand through his hair in frustration, his medical alert bracelet jangling noisily. "I'm going to get changed. Tyler, make sure he doesn't move off that couch, got it?"

She nodded her acceptance of the task, before he turned and disappeared into the bedroom.

"So how you feeling?" she asked when Dee had gone.

"A bit sick," Ryo admitted. "With a banging headache of course."

"Can I get you anything?"

He smiled tiredly. "Just make sure Dee eats something. He's been sitting in the hospital for several hours while I was out of it so I don't know whether he's had anything. He tends to forget his routine when he's agitated."

"Can't blame him though," she replied, storing that information for later use whilst trying to appear sympathetic.

"No, but the last thing we need is him going hyper or hypo on us."

"Agreed," she said covertly as the bedroom door opened and Dee emerged, dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt. Grudgingly she moved aside as he came and knelt down beside his wounded lover, the dark-haired man gently pushing golden strands away from the swollen flesh of Ryo's forehead.

"Hey, baby," Dee said softly, as dark eyes flickered to study him drowsily. "Still with us?"

"Just about," came the reply. "Although I've got one bitch of a headache."

"I bet," Dee said, smiling gently. "That bastard really whacked you one. Still, I gave him a little something to remember us by before they hauled him away."

Ryo tried to frown but the action pulled on his damaged skin and he grimaced instead. "You shouldn't have, Dee. You'll end up getting fired."

"He ran into my fist!" the dark-haired man protested innocently. "Not my fault he didn't watch where he was going."

Ryo rolled his eyes, knowing he would never succeed in curbing Dee's impulsive outbursts, especially where he was concerned. "Well, I'm okay, so there's no need to get upset."

The response was a snort as the other man stood and moved into the kitchen to start on the evening meal.

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To say Laura was frustrated was the understatement of the year. She'd had high hopes for the rumours she'd spread. Clearly the idea of a baby was a sore point between the two men and she'd been pleasantly surprised that she'd been able to exploit it. Things had been looking up. Randy's being injured had put paid to the progress she'd made and for that, she could only blame Dee. She'd heard him – _'If only we'd stayed together'_ – it had probably been his stupid idea to split up, no doubt ignoring Randy's sound advice of safety in numbers.

Two weeks passed and life in the McLain household eased back into a comfortable pace. As planned, Laura went and got herself a job – nothing spectacular – but it was in keeping with the persona she was living. She knew Tyler Brown had been notably absent from school during most of her high school years and had disappeared before graduation, so she felt it would have been too out of character if she had pitched up claiming to have gained a decent education while she had been gone. It was only handing out flyers for a nightclub, but given her lack of identification in the other girl's name, under the table work was about all she could consider. More importantly, the poor pay meant there was no question of her moving out. The two men, although pleased that she was trying to get back on her feet, insisted that she had by no means outstayed her welcome.

It was all well and good being close to Randy, but the distance between them was still immeasurable, with Dee being the maintaining factor. Just as she was going back to the drawing board about how she could force them apart, the ace card was delivered right into her hands…

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"Guess what?" Dee said, grinning broadly at his lover as he put the phone down and almost danced into the kitchen where Ryo was making lunch.

Ryo stopped what he was doing and looked over his shoulder, his head cocked to show he was thinking. "We've been given a raise? President Bush wants to meet us personally?"

Dee's smile disappeared and was replaced by a look of disbelief. "Now you're just being ridiculous…"

Ryo chuckled. "Okay, I give up. Tell me."

"That was Danny. He and Lisa are coming over here in a few weeks. Seems Lisa's parents had booked some flights but her dad isn't well so they can't go. Instead of cancelling, they've given the tickets to Lisa and Danny. They just need to find somewhere to stay."

Ryo's expression brightened. "That's great, but I hope Lisa's father is okay."

There was a pause as he waited for Dee to light a cigarette. "Yeah, he's fine, just not well enough to fly." He blew out a long stream of smoke, his expression indicating deep thought. "We can't expect them to stay here. They'll need room, what with the baby and everything."

"When are they coming?"

"In just under three weeks."

"Okay… we'll have a think about it. I'm sure two intelligent cops can come up with something."

Dee looked at him comically. "What about one super intelligent, super handsome cop and one half-wit?"

Ryo shook his head at Dee's self-depreciating sense of humour. "Dee…you're…"

"The intelligent one, I know," his lover interrupted, winking at Ryo as he prepared to make a hasty retreat.

Ryo feigned shock. "Right, that's it!" he warned, chasing after the other man who ran into the living room, waking Bright who clearly thought it was an invitation to play. Ryo caught him eventually, and before long he had Dee pinned down on the floor, the excitable dog barking at his side. They were both laughing breathlessly when the door opened and Laura walked in, her eyes immediately drawn to the scene on the floor.

"Tyler!" Ryo exclaimed, blushing instantaneously at the thought of how their position could be misconstrued. "We were just…"

She held up her hands to stop him, forcing a smile that looked amazingly natural. "You don't have to explain. It's your apartment, after all."

Ryo stood and helped Dee up off the floor. "Well, lunch is almost ready, then we're off to work."

"Okay," she responded, noting that as soon as they had gone she would have to do some serious thinking so she would never have to witness a scene like that again.

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Drake sighed and dropped the sheaf of papers back onto his desk. It was hard not to get depressed by the number of unsolved cases he and JJ had been asked to dig out, but when was solving crimes ever easy? The cases that bore a resemblance to the recently solved Anderson murders had started to reach double figures; all of which would require them to re-interview witnesses and, more importantly, visit the maximum security part of Sing Sing Prison to speak to Waylan Anderson about his whereabouts during those murders.

Drake mentally grimaced at the thought. Waylan Anderson was undoubtedly the sickest puppy he had ever had the misfortune to meet. He had been present when Anderson confessed to the four crimes he had been arrested and then convicted for, and he was certain that the memory would stay with him forever. To hear the man gleefully recount how he had killed and dismembered several people for no better reason than 'he knew it would be fun', was deeply disturbing. Anderson clearly did not discriminate; his victims were all ages and colours, had come from all walks of life. He had despised them equally and shown the same contemptuous regard for their lives as he dispatched them without remorse or pity.

Drake had hoped beyond hope as he and a rather ashen-faced JJ left the interview room that they would never have to clap eyes on that repulsive specimen of a human being ever again.

_Fat chance!_

At the time, they'd unanimously agreed that Anderson was capable of more than just the four murders he had been convicted for. Bizarrely, considering he was going nowhere for the rest of his life, he would not admit to any further crimes when they posed the question, although there had been a twinkle in his eye and a smirk that had indicated otherwise. Drake hated him with every fibre of his being at that moment. The thought of having to replay that unpleasant encounter was wearing to say the least.

"Bad day?"

Drake looked up to see Ryo studying him from across the desks, his jacket and briefcase in hand. He hadn't even seen the other man enter the office.

"Oh hey, McLain. You just got here?"

Ryo smiled. "Would you have noticed if I said I'd been here a while?"

Drake grinned back, throwing his well-chewed pencil on top of the large pile of papers. "That obvious, huh?"

"Well I'd say you were at least a million miles away just then. Is it the Anderson case?"

"Case, _plural_."

Ryo made a sympathetic face as he sat down. "Where's JJ?"

"Vacation; he already had it booked." Drake rolled his eyes. "Lucky bastard."

"I thought you had some vacation time booked?" Ryo asked, flicking the catches on his briefcase and opening it before he pulled out the case files he had taken home to read the previous evening.

Drake stretched, barely stifling a yawn. "I have, but not for a couple of weeks. Can't come too soon, I can tell you."

The two men turned as the door opened and a detective from narcotics stuck his head in. They said their hellos before the other man spoke. "Just a quick heads up, guys, since you weren't at this morning's meeting. Rose is coming back to work next month."

"Really?" Ryo said, mirroring Drake's surprise. "He's well enough?"

Collins, the other detective shrugged. "Apparently so. I think he's gonna come back part-time at first. The powers that be were trying to pension him off but he's having none of it. Anyway, I just thought I'd let you know."

The two homicide cops thanked him for the information before he left, closing the door and leaving them alone once again.

"Well, what d'you make of that?" Drake asked, leaning back in his chair, which creaked in protest under his weight.

Ryo looked thoughtful for a moment. "I'm pleased for him. It's obvious how important Rose's job is to him. I didn't think his injuries could keep him away forever."

"Mmmm," Drake nodded his agreement. "I wonder if he ever got around to proposing to Diana?"

"Don't know, but he should. I don't know how he'd have got by without her. I mean, she took a permanent transfer to care for him. If that doesn't indicate dedication, I don't know what does."

"I'm with you on that one," Drake replied. "So where's Dee?"

Ryo rolled his eyes. "He's making his own way in. I left him on the computer looking up prices for hotels here in New York."

Drake raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "You two planning a dirty weekend or something?" He was amused to see Ryo colour slightly at the suggestion.

"No! Dee's friend from England was given some plane tickets so they're coming over for a few days. Dee's trying to find them somewhere to stay. It would have been nice for them to stay with us but unfortunately, 'Hotel McLain' is full to capacity at the moment."

Drake smiled at the joke. "When they coming?"

"Two weeks on Wednesday. They fly home the following Monday."

There was silence for a moment as Drake put his thoughts in order. "They can stay at my apartment. I'm going to see my sister for the week over in Buffalo. My place will be free so they're very welcome to stay there. Saves spending money on a hotel."

"Well it would, but only if you're sure."

"Sure I'm sure." Drake grinned. "Means you don't have to go around and water my plants."

Ryo chuckled as he picked up the phone. "I'll ring Dee and give him the good news."

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Danny, Lisa and baby David arrived as planned, their flight landing on time at JFK airport. Dee picked them up in Ryo's car, the white Honda in much better condition than his own vehicle. He pointed out sights as he drove them back to the city of his birth, talking animatedly about where they could visit while they stayed. The couple were enormously grateful that Dee's colleague had offered them a place to stay, and despite the American's protestation to the contrary, they insisted that they would buy Drake a gift to thank him for his hospitality.

They dined as a foursome at an Italian restaurant that evening with Tyler, Cal and Bicky babysitting for David after they had all been introduced. The following morning, they met up at Drake's apartment to make plans for the day. They set out as a group but in the afternoon, they decided to split when Ryo offered to take Lisa to the Metropolitan Art Museum. Dee and Danny had pulled similar faces at the suggestion, and so they stayed home with David while Ryo, Lisa plus Cal and a grudging Bicky went to indulge in an afternoon of culture. Tyler had bowed out of the trip, claiming she was working.

She did just that for barely an hour before a headache and the poor weather drove her home. She entered the apartment to find it empty and, after grabbing a soda, she decided to go and have a lie down. Feeing it was unfair to Bicky, she had insisted that if she were to stay, he should have his room back and so her cot was now a camp bed made up in the smallest bedroom-cum-office. She entered the room and closed the door behind her before flopping onto the bed and kicking off her boots.

She assumed she must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew, the sound of voices was rousing her from slumber. It was Dee and Danny returning from wherever it was they had taken David after they had split from the others.

"Guess no one's home," she heard Dee say. "D'you want a beer?"

"Sounds good," came the reply, as footsteps disappeared in the direction of the kitchen. The conversation became unintelligible at that distance and for a moment, Laura wondered whether she should go out and make her presence known. Then the voices grew louder as the two men came back into the living room and she decided to stay put.

"He's sleeping," Danny commented, presumably referring to his son. "I'll just put his pram over here so we can smoke."

Sensing the conversation could prove to be interesting since Dee thought they were home alone, Laura settled back onto the bed and prepared to listen. She knew the two men had become friends through the PTSD programme; perhaps their conversation would help her understand better the man she was supposed to have grown up with.

A good ten minutes had passed and Laura was beginning to regret her decision. The talk had been nothing more interesting than general chitchat – how the cities they lived in compared, sports, music, their families. Only when talk turned to remembering their companions on the PTSD programme did Tyler's interest pique.

"I heard that Kieran's doing okay," Danny announced after they had discussed the more popular members of the group. "He phoned Jack to say he was getting married so I guess things must have worked out with him and his girlfriend."

"That's good," Dee replied, remembering the surly Irishman. "Even he deserved to get there in the end."

"Yeah."

There was a natural hiatus in the conversation, where both men seemed to sense that the topic was shifting into more serious territory. Dee was first to break the silence.

"So how was it being back at work?"

Danny smiled as he reached for the ashtray and stubbed his cigarette out. "Weird… but not as terrible as I thought it'd be. Jack also suggested I went to see the families of my friends that were killed. I'll admit I was reluctant, but it really did seem to help. Part of what keeps me going is the knowledge that I can honour their names by doing the job that they loved, you know?"

Dee nodded, glad that his friend had come to that conclusion. Danny certainly seemed to have grown stronger.

"I told Lisa," Danny continued. "About what I almost did. She was understandably upset, but didn't get angry with me. We talked it through, which has helped me move on." He smiled suddenly to prove his point. "I know I don't have to feel guilty about being happy any more. So what about you? How have things been?"

Dee swigged some beer before he answered. "Things are good here too. No more panic attacks… in a way it kinda feels like nothing ever happened."

"Did you tell Ryo about…?"

"No." Dee sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I couldn't, Danny. Could you imagine what it would do to him? Ryo was carrying a lot of guilt that I'd been abducted in the first place. It took him a long time to get over that so to find out I was sexually assaulted too would be even worse."

In her room, Laura's jaw dropped. Dee was keeping something like that a secret from Ryo? "Holy shit," she muttered under her breath as she sat rigid, terrified of being discovered.

"Besides," Dee continued. "Can you imagine how Ryo would feel if he found out now? I don't think he'd ever forgive me for keeping it from him. No, it's water under the bridge, Danny. It's pointless dredging up the past."

Laura sat back stunned, as the conversation in the other room moved onto less explosive subjects. As her shock wore off, she began to realise the potency of what she had just learnt. She'd heard him; Ryo would be devastated to find out that Dee had kept such a life changing event from him. So devastated that he probably wouldn't be able to trust him again…

TBC…

Scientia est Potentia – Knowledge is Power

Apologies for not explaining chapter 6's title; 'Mi casa es su casa' for those that don't know, means 'my house is your house' in Spanish.


	9. Cat Among the Pigeons

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 8 – Cat Among the Pigeons

A week later, Laura was utterly convinced that she was walking the path of righteousness. For the past seven days, she had been carefully conniving, planning how she could put the new information about Dee and his deep, dark secret to good use. She needed him to _tell_ her, but couldn't think how she could get him to do that. Then the answer fell into her lap, proving conclusively to her mind at least, that her actions were justified and, goddammit, the _only_ thing to do.

The day after Danny and Lisa returned to England, Dee received word that Tyler was wanted at the precinct to try and identify her attacker. They had arrested a guy for a mugging earlier that day and felt that he fitted the description Dee's friend had given them. Laura doubted they had collared the young man she had met – he hadn't seemed like the type to commit a street robbery - but she went along with the pretence, acting both nervous and yet determined as she rode with Dee to the station.

The procedure was explained to her as Dee stood by supportively, his green eyes boring through the one-way glass to study the faces of the men brought in for the line-up. Heaven help them if the culprit was there, he thought darkly. He pulled back from those thoughts as Tyler started to walk back and forth, standing directly in front of each man and scrutinising him thoroughly before she moved onto the next. Silence hung in the air as she then walked back and repeated the process.

"He's not there," she said eventually.

The officer in charge glanced at Dee before he looked at her. "Are you absolutely sure, Ms. Brown?"

She nodded, her mouth drawn into a thin line that indicated tension. "Positive."

She looked away from the clearly disappointed cop as a hand came to rest on her shoulder. Dee smiled as he met her gaze.

"You did good," he proclaimed, before he jerked his head in the direction of the door. "Come on, we may as well get out of here." He started to guide her out of the room, nodding his thanks to the cop that let them out. Once they were alone in the corridor, he stopped. "Are you okay? You look kinda pale."

She nodded, about to embark on the greatest piece of acting in her life. "I'm fine," she snapped, her sudden vitriol taking Dee completely by surprise. "Just leave it, okay?"

She started to storm off, when a hand caught her arm, preventing her from leaving.

"Tyler, what's wrong? You seemed fine in there…"

"I'm fine now!" She snatched her arm free and hurried away from him, banging through the double doors that led out into the parking lot, leaving Dee trailing in her wake. He had to run to catch up with her as she strode past the car and made for the exit.

"Tyler, stop!" he implored as he ran in front of her, blocking her path. "Tell me what's wrong. I can help you."

She glared at him fiercely, although she managed to combine the look with one of imminent tears. "You wouldn't understand," she yelled, "So stop trying!"

Dee was about to combust with confusion. He knew he was second-guessing, but she wasn't giving him any clues. "Tyler, was the guy that attacked you in there?"

"No."

"Honestly?"

"Yes!"

"Then what?" His deep frown reflected both his confusion and his concern. "Bottling shit up isn't good; I should know."

Laura let out a long, angry breath. "He wasn't there, but I'll admit, a couple of them looked a lot like him. It brought back some bad memories." She paused and stared down at her feet. "I didn't tell the cops everything. I didn't want you to know that he tried to rape me."

Dee looked horrified. "You didn't say anything because I was there?"

She nodded.

"Oh God," he continued, putting his hand to his mouth. "Tyler, how could you think you couldn't say anything?"

She looked straight at him, wondering if he was about to take the bait. "Because how could you understand how that feels? Knowing that someone wanted to touch you even though you didn't want them to? I didn't want your sympathy; all those false sentimental clichés." Her voice grew louder as her anger re-grouped. "Hey, Tyler, I understand what you're going through. Well, _bullshit_; you don't know and you never will."

She was about to storm off again when Dee caught her by the arm. "I do understand," he said quietly. "I do."

She reacted with a look of disbelief. "How can you?"

He glanced around the parking lot before he responded. "Because I was sexually assaulted when I was abducted, that's why."

Laura's expression changed so she looked suitably shocked by this revelation. Her hands covered her mouth; the act of a woman whose words had hurt her dearest friend. "Oh my God, Dee, I'm so _sorry_."

Seeing she looked ready to burst into tears, he threw his arms around her and hugged her tightly. "It's okay to be scared, Tyler, trust me, I know."

Laura let herself go into overdrive and her strong reaction succeeded in making Dee forget to warn her not to say anything about his own experience. He consoled and reassured her, pushing aside his own emotions to convey that he would support her one hundred percent.

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Dee awoke suddenly, aware of his heart pounding in his chest in the stillness of the night. He looked across to see if he'd woken Ryo but found the other still sleeping soundly, his gentle features telling Dee that his dreams were more peaceful than his own. Dee ran a hand through his hair and slipped out of bed, mindful not to wake his lover. Normally when he couldn't sleep, he would go out on the veranda and stand, drinking in the night air while he listened to the sounds of the city. Not wanting to disturb the household, he stayed in the bedroom and moved over to the window, which he opened just a crack so that he could smoke without filling the room with fumes.

The rush of nicotine felt good, calming his emotions, wound tight in the aftermath of his dream. He couldn't recall the last time he'd had a nightmare about his kidnapping ordeal but he suspected that dealing with Tyler had brought it all back to him. Tapping his cigarette gently against the ashtray, Dee turned and glanced back at his lover, still sleeping peacefully. Ryo still didn't know the whole story of what had happened to him during those five days he had been missing. He'd meant it when he'd told Lou, his psychologist in England, that he wasn't going to tell Ryo about the abuse he had endured and he still stuck by that decision. What would he have gained by telling him?

On his return to work, he had been interviewed by both the precinct psychiatrist and the Chief, who despite his constant griping at Dee to work harder, was something of a father-figure to the dark haired detective. He had told both of them exactly what had happened, proving to himself that he wasn't frightened of talking about it. It was just Ryo who was important, Ryo who he cared about and who he desperately didn't want to be changed by learning about Dee's fate. It was the only thing that mattered.

In the light of his revelations, Dee had begged the Chief not to treat him differently, but he knew with some certainty that the older man now cut him some slack where he previously would have reprimanded him. He could cope with that – what he wouldn't be able to cope with was Ryo treating him differently. They were equals; pity had no place in their relationship. His cigarette smoked, he crushed the end into the ashtray and returned to bed, Ryo none the wiser about his unsettling dream.

In the morning, he remembered that he needed to warn Tyler about not saying anything to Ryo. As his lover showered, he went out to speak to her, only to find a note saying she had already left for work. He wasn't unduly concerned; he would speak to her that evening when Ryo took Bicky to basketball practice.

The two detectives received a call on Ryo's cellphone before they'd even reached the precinct. A body had been discovered in an alleyway behind some apartments and they had been chosen to head up the investigation. Dee turned the car around and they drove to the address the dispatcher had given, arriving at the scene to be greeted by the usual cast – the forensic team, several uniformed officers and a crowd of curious onlookers, waiting patiently for the sight of the body. Dee parked the car and the two men headed towards the scene of carnage, not bothering to show their badges since several people present already knew them.

"Hey, Dee, Randy," the uniformed cop at the mouth of the alleyway called out as they approached. "You guys got here quick."

"We hadn't reached the precinct yet," Ryo explained as they ducked under the cordon. "What have you got for us, Tony?"

"White male, looks to be in his late twenties, early thirties. Battered about the head and upper body with a baseball bat that was found next to the body. I've got the names of the people that found him and a couple of other people that think they heard something last night."

"Thanks, Tony," Ryo said, taking the officer's notebook off him and going down onto his haunches as he started to copy down the details.

"You see the game last night?" the cop asked, turning to Dee who was studying the scene closely.

"Yeah," he replied, never making eye contact. "I swear I'll have a heart attack if they keep playing like that."

"Totally," Tony agreed, rolling his eyes as the head of the forensics team approached.

"Detective McLain?" the small, balding man asked, addressing Dee.

"Uh huh," the dark haired man replied, accepting the proffered handshake. "But call me Dee. It's simpler. This is my partner, Detective McLain." He grinned at the other man's confusion. "That's why."

Ryo stood from his crouched position and shook hands with the pathologist. "Randy McLain. Please call me Randy."

"I'm Paul Johnson, senior pathologist. You're not brothers are you?" the older man asked with a frown, clearly trying but failing to see the family resemblance as the three men started to walk towards the scene.

"We're married," Dee replied casually. "I changed my name."

"Oh, right," Johnson said, his expression not indicating whether he was shocked or not.

"So what have we got?" Ryo asked as the three reached the body sprawled amongst the alleyway detritus. He glanced across at Dee, the action an unconscious way of preventing the sickening sight at his feet from causing his breakfast to depart his stomach. When he looked back to the subject of their conversation, he was more ready for it – Ryo the human being had successfully transformed into Ryo the hardened detective, ready to handle the worst side of human nature and the destruction it left in its wake. He knew Dee, and indeed almost all of his colleagues, went through a similar process at a crime scene.

"Well, the ID in his wallet says his name is Dennis Scott. The poor guy died from his head injuries, probably between about eleven pm and one am."

"Ties in with what the witness said," Ryo added, glancing at his notebook.

The pathologist nodded. "We've taken what we're assuming is the murder weapon and samples from around the scene back for analysis. We'll let you know when the results are in."

"Appreciate it," Ryo replied as Dee nodded his agreement.

They stayed a little longer, looking over the crime scene with their expert eyes as the body was removed. Certain they had seen enough, they returned to their car to decide what to do next.

"Wanna go talk to the family?" Dee asked, lighting a cigarette as he shrugged off his jacket, the day pleasantly warm.

Ryo looked torn. "Maybe we should check out the witness first." He paused and glanced at his watch. "But we've got that meeting at one."

Dee rolled his eyes, never one for meetings. The meeting room at the precinct was stuffy at the best of times so the thought of spending a warm afternoon crammed in there with several detectives, some of which were of slightly larger frame than he and Ryo, didn't exactly please him.

"How about…" Ryo said, his pause indicating that he was still thinking. "You go and talk to the family and I'll go and interview the witness? That should save some time."

Dee looked thoughtful. "Works for me. Want me to come back and pick you up?"

Ryo shook his head. "It's okay. I'll get the subway when I'm done. I'll see you back at the precinct."

Dee watched him walk away in the direction of the apartment block, smiling to himself at the sight of Ryo's trim behind, encased in a well-fitting pair of tailored slacks, swaying gently from side to side as he walked. Reluctantly he pushed aside his instinctive thoughts about that delectable behind as he swung himself into the car and set off to talk to the dead man's family.

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Ryo left the apartment complex just over an hour later, wishing he'd given Dee his jacket to take in the car as the weather was really starting to heat up. Checking his watch, he realised he had a little time before their scheduled meeting, so he caught the subway and headed for the coffee bar they frequented near the precinct. As he was at the counter, paying for an ice-cold bottle of water, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Oh, hey, Tyler." He smiled, handing over his money to the cashier. "What you doing here?"

She returned the smile. "Same as you." She gestured to the bottle in her hand. "I just got off work and figured I deserved a drink."

Ryo indicated a table in the corner and they went to sit down. Tyler had seemed quiet ever since she had come back from the ID parade but neither she nor Dee had said anything. Ryo hadn't asked, figuring that they would tell him if they wanted him to know.

"Are you feeling better today?" he asked, once they were seated. Dee had seemed very concerned about her from the way he'd fussed over her relentlessly the previous evening and he wanted to show that although he didn't know exactly what was going on, he was concerned for her wellbeing nonetheless.

"Yeah," she said smiling brightly. "It really helped, talking to Dee."

Ryo sipped his water and nodded. "Well, he went through a lot last year and the PTSD programme he went on taught him a lot about coping. If anyone knows how to deal with stressful situations, it's him. The ID parade must have been really tough."

"Yeah, it was," she remarked, about to deliver the fatal blow. "But being able to tell him about well, you know, nearly being raped. That was a real weight off my mind. I mean, I knew you guys would have been sympathetic, but for Dee to have actually gone through the same thing himself, well, it just made me realise that when he said he understood how I felt, that he really did."

The bottle halted at Ryo's lips as his face creased into a frown. For a moment he thought he mustn't have heard her properly.

"I… I'm not sure I understand."

Laura kept her cool, maintaining the pretence of someone who didn't realise she was giving away a deep, dark secret. "Well, yeah. When he told me he'd been sexually abused when he was kidnapped… well, that just blew me away. I felt really bad; nothing actually happened to me, but poor Dee… It must have been horrible for him."

Her acting skills went into overdrive as she recognised the look on Ryo's face. Her hands flew to her mouth as her eyes widened.

"Oh my God, Randy, I just assumed you knew! Oh Jesus… Oh shit…"

Ryo's blank expression went no way to conveying the maelstrom of emotions he'd been hit by. Dee had been sexually assaulted? How could he have never said anything? He had no idea how he did it, but he managed to put aside his own feelings to comfort Tyler, who looked clearly devastated.

"I thought you knew," she repeated, on the verge of tears. "You're so close, I thought he would have told you."

Ryo laid a hand on hers, but couldn't raise a smile. "It's okay, Tyler. You weren't to know. Don't blame yourself."

"Please don't say anything," Tyler pleaded, meeting Ryo's troubled dark eyes. "I can't bear to have Dee hate me. He's the only family I've got."

Despite his pain, Ryo nodded. "I have to go," he said, glancing at his watch. "I'll see you at home."

"I'm so sorry, Randy."

"I know."

She watched him go, and only when he was safely from view did she allow herself to smile. "I _am_ sorry, Randy," she said quietly, disliking seeing him unhappy. "But it's for your own good."

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Ryo didn't know how he managed to sit through the meeting. His mind wasn't on work and a couple of times, when he was asked for his opinion, he provided less than satisfactory responses. Dee had typically arrived late, and was forced to sit on the only available seat by the door. He'd made eye contact with Ryo and grinned and somehow, the blond had managed to return the smile, although he was certain his insides were crumbling to dust. At least he wasn't close enough for conversation. He wasn't sure he could make small talk, or even put aside his feelings to talk about work. Sitting pretending to listen to the detective chairing the meeting, Ryo tried to pinpoint exactly what it was he was feeling. The adjectives were in danger of running into double figures. Shock was top of the list, swiftly followed by hurt and anger.

Why hadn't Dee told him? Didn't he trust him with something like that? His two primary emotions mingled together, ensuring a smooth transition from one to the other and then back again. He inadvertently caught Dee's eye and the other man grinned again. He'd trusted Dee with so many of his fears; he thought they knew each other inside out. Ryo's heart lurched – the realisation that he didn't know him at all sickening him to his stomach.

He feigned a headache on the way home, ensuring Dee left him to his silence. It was a huge relief since he doubted he could have hidden his pain if he'd had to talk about insignificant things like their evening meal or what they might watch on TV when they got in.

Throughout the evening, Ryo watched Dee like a hawk. Seeing him play boisterously with Bright, then ring Drake and bemoan the uselessness of their football team in between loud guffaws of laughter, made Ryo wonder if Tyler had heard him right. How could Dee be so… so _normal_, knowing he harboured this awful secret?

The question haunted him much later as they fell into bed together. Tyler had called to say she had gone to see Penguin and was staying over at the orphanage so she could help out the following day, although Ryo suspected she was worried about coming home. Bicky was staying the night at Cal's, leaving them completely alone; a situation which normally Ryo would have welcomed with open arms. For his part, Dee was in a great mood, culminating in his obvious signals that he wanted them to be intimate once they were in bed.

He spooned with his husband, dropping delicate kisses onto his neck and shoulders. Normally touches in that area were like a light switch for Ryo's libido, but tonight the sensations left him awkward and wishing Dee would stop. He pulled away but Dee's arm snaked around his chest and held him fast. He could feel Dee grinning as he continued to kiss.

"Dee…"

The kissing stopped, but the grin didn't. "You still got that headache? I've got the perfect cure…"

The hand around his chest trailed lower to cup his groin, the caress awakening his desire, despite the fact that his mind was not willing. It felt wrong to be intimate with something so serious between them. But how could he tell Dee that he knew? He didn't want to Tyler to bear the brunt of the inevitable conflict. She hadn't known that Dee had kept it to himself; like she'd said, they were so close, it seemed logical that Ryo would have known.

"Dee, I'm really tired," he protested, squeezing his eyes shut, praying Dee couldn't hear the strain in his voice and the tension in his body.

The response was a sigh. "Okay, okay, I get the message. I guess I'll just hope for a wet dream instead."

"Sorry," Ryo muttered, feeling bad, but not for long as the sound of gentle snoring greeted his ears.

The following day was their day off – something which Ryo felt couldn't have come at a worse time. Without work to distract them, Dee would surely sense that there was something wrong, infinitely more serious than a headache. The day seemed to drag and by mid afternoon, Ryo couldn't stand it anymore. When Dee announced he was taking Bright for a walk, Ryo was on the phone the moment he was out of sight. He was relieved when he rang the orphanage and the nun that answered the phone said Tyler was still there.

"Hey Tyler," Ryo said as the girl came on the line, his voice low despite the fact that Dee had gone. "Listen, I know I said I wouldn't tell Dee that you let slip what had happened to him, but I have to say something. It's tearing me up."

"But, Randy…"

"I'm sorry, I know I said I wouldn't but…" He broke off to fight for composure. "I can't just carry on as normal. I'll tell him it's not your fault, I promise."

There was silence for a moment before she responded and when she did, it was clear that she wasn't happy. "Okay. I guess I don't have any choice."

"Thanks, Tyler," he replied, clearly relieved that she had agreed.

"No problem… I hope."

"Can you do one more thing? Will you meet Bicky and Cal from school and take them for a pizza? They're both supposed to be coming back here for dinner but I think we'll need the time to talk."

"Uh, yeah sure."

He checked she had the funding to feed herself and the two teens, which she did, even offering to take them to the bowling alley afterwards. Once he'd gone, Laura hung up, just as Sister Maria entered the office.

"Is everything okay, Tyler?" she asked.

Laura smiled broadly. "Oh yeah, everything is just fine."

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Ryo found himself pacing around the living room as he waited for Dee to return. The relief he'd felt at knowing he wouldn't be betraying Tyler had subsided, leaving behind the fear that he was about to confront Dee about things he may not wish to know. He jumped as the key went in the lock, his insides clenching nervously. Bright came bounding into the room, followed by Dee, who grinned to see his husband watching their return.

"Hey, baby. You feelin' better? Now the mutt's walked, we can have some quality Dee and Ryo time!" He crossed the room and snaked his arm around Ryo's waist, reeling him in for a kiss. He pulled back and frowned when the embrace wasn't met with similar fervour.

"Dee… I need to talk to you," Ryo said, biting the bullet and launching straight in.

"Fine," Dee replied, stepping back. "No problem. What d'you want to talk about?"

He missed the look in Ryo's dark eyes as he began to search his pockets for a cigarette.

"About you."

He looked up, finally seeing the trepidation on his husband's face. "What about me? Did I do something?"

Ryo swallowed hard, knowing he couldn't spare Tyler any longer. "I found something out yesterday, and I can't keep pretending I don't know. Tyler's worried you'll hate her, but please Dee, she didn't realise she wasn't supposed to say anything."

The look on Dee's face told him his lover knew exactly what he was talking about. The unlit cigarette was pulled from his lips and he sighed, shaking his head slowly. "Shit…" he muttered, putting his hand to his head as if he had developed a sudden pain there. "She told you."

Ryo nodded, knowing Dee's response confirmed that this wasn't just some horrible misunderstanding. It had been a long shot to hope that, but he was only human after all. Who wouldn't want such awful news to be erroneous?

"She thought I'd already know…" He knew he sounded accusatory but the hurt forced him to do it.

Dee went and sat on the couch, his head falling into his hands. Bright came over to investigate, but the dark haired man ordered him into his bed in the kitchen, a command which the intuitive canine obeyed sharply.

"What did Tyler say?" he asked, the words muffled as they came from between his fingers.

Ryo found himself unable to go and sit down. Instead, he remained standing off to the left, the coffee table providing a barrier between them. The blond found the distance strangely necessary. "She said… that you understood how she felt, because you'd been the victim of sexual assault." He paused and forced himself to make eye contact. "It happened before we met, right? And you just never told me."

Dee had to look away, unable to bear the pleading look in his husband's eyes. Lying was futile; the situation was bad enough without further deception to complicate matters.

"No… it was last year. When I was abducted." He looked up through long bangs to see Ryo's weary acceptance of what he'd hoped wasn't true. After a long, loaded silence, Dee spoke again. "What're you thinking?" he asked, unable to even hazard a guess.

"I can't understand why you didn't tell me. I mean, you told Tyler. Does anyone else know?"

Dee closed his eyes. "Just the counsellors on the PTSD programme, Danny and the chief."

"The chief!?" The response had shot from Ryo's lips before he could stop it. "Even the chief knew, but I didn't?!"

"It was my choice," Dee snapped back. "Goddamnit, Ryo. Would you prefer that I kept it all inside?"

"No!" Ryo found himself almost shouting and made a conscious effort to convey his hurt rather than his anger. When he spoke again, his voice was quieter. "It just hurts to know that you confided in other people than me. I'm supposed to be your husband."

"Exactly. And that's why I _didn't_ want you to know. I wanted to pick up where we left off; not have this hanging over us."

"But I could have helped you through it," Ryo protested.

"You did, you just didn't realise it."

The blond's eyes narrowed. "Wait… that night you rang from England, wanting to come home. This had something to do with it, didn't it?"

Dee nodded, glancing longingly at the cigarette he had placed on table, wanting the comfort of nicotine rather than this difficult conversation. "Yeah. Apparently I'd repressed the memories of what happened, but the therapy brought it out. The night I rang, I'd just started to piece together what had happened."

Ryo sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "So you remember all of it now?"

"Pretty much."

Ryo faltered, but his next question still had to be asked. "Were you…?"

"Raped? No. I was examined when I was admitted to hospital."

"Oh, right," Ryo replied flatly, realising he'd never even been told that the medical staff had checked for signs of sexual injury. He began to wonder just how out of the loop he'd been during those dark days.

"Ryo, talk to me."

"I don't know what to say, Dee," he said honestly. "I – I thought I knew you."

"You do! Look, this isn't a big deal."

The blond shook his head sadly. "When you came home, I just wanted to jump your bones every time I saw you…"

"Ditto," Dee interrupted, failing to see where his lover was going with the comment.

"… but what if you _hadn't_ felt like that, huh? What if you'd not been ready to be intimate? I could have been hurting you without even knowing."

Dee rolled his eyes, biting down on a comment involving mountains and molehills. Ryo however saw the non-verbal response and grew angry.

"Dee, this isn't some stupid fight about who's going to take out the trash, so don't act like it is! I want to try and understand why you feel you couldn't tell me about what happened to you."

Green eyes narrowed dangerously. "You think that's how I see it? Like I'm making light of it? I was fucking assaulted, Ryo, I probably would have been fucking raped too if I hadn't been half-dead, so don't tell me I'm acting like it's an argument about trash!"

Ryo stopped short of his response. He'd known this conversation wouldn't be easy, but it was veering wildly out of control and he decided to take responsibility to calm things down again. The raven-haired man looked furious and Ryo knew he had his work cut out.

"Dee…" Ryo said suddenly, stepping around the coffee table to placate his angry lover. "Please…"

Dee however was on his feet first.

"No, fuck you, Ryo. I don't wanna hear it."

He snatched up his car keys and cigarettes and made for the front door, slamming it behind him without a backward glance before Ryo could speak or act.

TBC…


	10. Papering Over the Cracks

**Author's note – This chapter never made it to ffnet but if you followed me to adultfanfictionnet then you may have read it there. After this, it's new chapters. Please leave a review! -Swordy**

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 9 – Papering Over the Cracks

Hour after hour passed. Ryo had no idea where Dee had gone. Laura and Bicky came home at nine o'clock after dropping Cal back at her aunt's and, as Bicky went into his room with an excited Bright in tow, Laura went to speak to Ryo, her expression apprehensive.

"Where's Dee?" she asked, seeing him alone in the kitchen.

He turned to face her, leaving the cupboard he was rearranging. "I don't know. We had a fight."

"Does he hate me?" she asked quietly. "It's all my fault, after all."

Ryo shook his head firmly. "It's me he's angry at, Tyler."

She frowned. "Why should he be angry at you? You haven't done anything wrong."

"I guess I wasn't very understanding," he conceded. "I'm just so hurt, Tyler. I didn't handle it very well."

She moved closer to him and laid a hand on his arm, almost losing herself in the touch. His aftershave was subtle but the effect was almost hypnotic. It took all her willpower not to confess her undying love there and then. "Don't feel bad, Randy. Dee's always been a hot-head. It's wrong of him to get mad at you. If he can't see that you just want to help, then that's his problem."

"I need to apologise," Ryo sighed, rubbing his forehead absent-mindedly. "I just wish he'd come home."

Laura stepped back. "But he should be apologising to you! Randy, you gotta stick up for yourself."

Ryo looked surprised by the force of her conviction. "You think?"

"Yeah." She nodded firmly. "I can understand why's he's upset, but it's me he should be mad at, not you."

Her words stayed with him as he lay awake watching the digits on the clock turn to two am, with still no sign of Dee. As the time dragged on, Ryo could feel his worry and hurt being replaced by anger – Dee was punishing him with this disappearing act. Just after two thirty, Ryo heard the front door open and click shut quietly. He debated whether to pretend to be asleep when Dee came into the room, but he never had to make the final decision as their bedroom door remained firmly closed. Finally, weary and exhausted, he fell asleep, hating the vastness of the bed with the empty space beside him.

He awoke with a start, his mind taking a few moments before his thoughts were in a coherent order. Dee hadn't climbed into bed with him, as he'd hoped. He stood and stretched, intending to go and wake the other man, who he presumed was on the couch. Sleep would hopefully have softened the sharp edges of his lover's anger. He was still aggrieved himself, but he was prepared to let things go if Dee was too. He frowned as he exited the bedroom and found the couch empty. Dee was clearly already up. He located him in the kitchen, prepping a syringe to administer his first insulin shot of the day.

"Coffee's in the pot," Dee muttered without looking up.

"Thanks."

Ryo poured himself a cup and turned to watch as Dee injected himself in his arm, before rolling his sleeve back down and packing his equipment away. He stood and pulled on his jacket, which had been draped over the back of his chair, patting the pockets once it was on to check he had his cigarettes and lighter. Ryo frowned.

"Are you leaving?"

"Yeah," he replied, still not making eye contact as he grabbed his keys off the table. "Ted asked me to help him out with something while Marty's off. You can make your own way in, right?"

Ryo nodded numbly, wondering if it was Ted that his lover had been out with until after two am. "Uh, sure."

"Great," Dee replied, not sounding like he meant it. "Well, I'll see you at the station."

"Dee…" Ryo started to say as the other man turned to leave. Dee stopped; hard green eyes meeting anxious brown ones. "I love you."

The response was an almost imperceptible nod before Dee picked up his briefcase and left the apartment.

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Despite it nearing lunchtime, the two detectives had barely spoken since Ryo had arrived at the precinct. They had travelled together to follow up some leads and re-interview the family of the guy that had been found beaten to death in the alleyway, their conversations clipped and always pertaining to some aspect of the case they were working on. The animosity between them was noticeable at times – Ryo had caught the dead man's family exchanging glances a couple of times when Dee had replied sharply to something he had said. When they arrived back at the precinct, Drake communicated a similar observation to Ryo when Dee's back was turned. Ryo shrugged and mouthed '_don't ask_', just before Dee turned around.

Shortly after lunch, all the detectives in Criminal Investigations were told to remain at the precinct. They were starting to grumble about wanting to get on so they could leave on time as the door opened and someone stepped into the meeting room where they had been told to assemble - a someone that none of them had seen for quite a while.

"Commissioner!" Ryo said out loud, causing even those that hadn't turned at the sound of the door to look up.

Berkley Rose smiled as he slowly made his way into the room full of surprised men. A couple of them moved aside for him as he walked slowly, assisted by a cane, until he reached an empty chair and sat down. He surveyed the silent room and spoke.

"Good afternoon, gentlemen. I trust you're all well."

There were nods and murmured responses, before Ryo spoke.

"It's good to see you back, Sir. How are you feeling?"

Rose smiled, having known that Ryo would be the one to ask. "I'm very well, Detective McLain, thank you for asking. I just wanted to stop by and see how you all were before I officially start back next week. I can assure you that despite my physical condition that I'm more than capable and more than ready to return to the helm. Don't expect an easy time once I'm back."

There were good-natured cheers around the room. That was the old Berkley Rose talking. From conversations with Diana, they'd gained a rough picture of Rose's condition whilst he had been absent. The beating he'd received had caused brain injury, the seriousness of which he was lucky to have survived. Once he had regained consciousness and was over the worst, he had started down an incredibly long road to recovery that clearly, at least on a physical level, he was still travelling upon. His speech had been affected and he'd spent a long time in rehabilitation, relearning basic skills. His mind was as sharp as ever, but gross motor movements such as walking were clearly still an issue.

Conversation remained fairly light-hearted, as the detectives filled Rose in on some of the goings on at the precinct while he'd been away. A glance at the clock told Ryo that they were in danger of being late to their appointment with one of the witnesses in their most recent case. He informed Dee, who stubbed out his cigarette and grabbed his jacket before he made to exit the room.

"Later, guys," he said, somewhat gruffly as he left. Ryo was in the process of excusing them and reiterating to the commissioner that it was good to have him back, when Dee stuck his head back round the door.

"Come on, Ryo. You can carry on kissing Rose's ass later. We're gonna be late."

Eyes wide and cheeks flushed with embarrassment, Ryo collected his own belongings and made after his irritated partner. When the two detectives had gone, Rose turned to Drake who was sitting across from him.

"Trouble in paradise?" he commented, one golden brow raised questioningly as his eyes straying to the now-closed door.

Drake shrugged, glancing at Ted, who made a similar gesture. They'd both spent the evening with Dee after being called up by the dark-haired cop at short notice. They'd known straight away that something was wrong, but they hadn't asked, knowing Dee would tell them if he wanted them to know. From the interaction they had witnessed just now, it looked pretty certain that the source of their friend's anger was a lover's tiff.

Ryo raced down the stairs, only catching up with Dee in the parking lot; a good thing since he had plenty to say and the parking lot was the least populated area.

"How dare you!" he growled, clenching his fists as Dee went to unlock the car. "You had no fucking right to make me look stupid back there."

Dee didn't have to look to know Ryo was angry – the unfamiliar invective was enough to confirm his ire. He felt a little guilty, but the apology was still grudging.

"I'm sorry, okay?"

Ryo met his irritated glare with one of his own. "Then why don't I believe you?" Dee opened his mouth to respond but the blond cut him off, aware of the time and several other officers passing through the parking lot who were looking in their direction. "Look, forget it. Let's just go and do this interview."

They managed to contain their bitterness until they arrived home, but general tiredness, a problem with their mortgage payment and finding that Bright had chewed his way through several pairs of shoes, waylaid any intention either one of them may have had to make peace. Not wanting to distract them from their fight, Laura rounded up Bicky and offered to take him and Cal to the movies.

"So do you know what's going on?" Bicky asked, once they were at Cal's aunt's place, waiting for Cal to get her jacket.

Laura shrugged and studied the floor. "I don't know for definite. I'm sure they'll be okay though. Every couple has arguments."

Bicky gave her a look, wondering whether she was deliberately being patronising. "Yeah, well, I know Dee and Ryo pretty well, and they don't argue much. This one seems pretty bad."

"Look, don't worry about it," she said with a smile as Cal appeared and the three of them set off to the movie theatre. They were so engrossed in conversation, Laura didn't realise that they were walking right past her old place of work until she heard someone calling her name. The street wasn't particularly busy, causing the insistent voice to travel.

"Laura! Hey, Laura!"

Bicky and Cal both frowned as they turned to see a blond girl waving in their direction. Tyler, it seemed, hadn't heard her and carried on walking.

"Uh, Tyler? I think that girl's shouting to you."

Laura felt her pulse start to race, her heart pounding loudly in her ears. She knew the voice, it was Kelly Capland. The bitch could blow her cover. "She's obviously mistaken, or crazy," she added, rolling her eyes and grinning.

Bicky shot a look at Cal. The girl certainly didn't look mistaken.

"Hey, Laura, why you ignoring me, eh? Don't you wanna catch up with your old work buddy?"

_Stupid fucking bitch_.

"Well, she's _definitely _got the wrong person," she chuckled to the two teens. "Can you picture me working somewhere like that?"

"Guess not," Bicky replied, seeing logic in her argument and relaxing. The three of them turned a corner and Laura was relieved when she glanced around to see that Kelly wasn't following them.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ryo removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes wearily before unsuccessfully stifling a yawn. With Bicky and Tyler out the previous evening, they'd attempted to talk through their problems but the situation had quickly degenerated into another fight. The blond sighed heavily as he thought back to the harsh words that had been exchanged.

_You didn't talk to me, Dee. Can't you understand why I'm so hurt? I feel like you don't trust me._

_Jesus, Ryo we've been through this a million fucking times!_

_Yes, and I'm still no closer to understanding._

_Then don't try. _

Ryo could recall the expression on his husband's face. Dee could look downright intimidating when he wanted to. The look wasn't new – he'd seen Dee use it on the criminals that he viewed as particular low-lives – but he'd never seen him turn the harsh, unflinching stare on him. He almost felt like a flower, wilting beneath the glaring sun, but not for long. His instinctive sense of self-preservation made him fight back and before long, they had reached the point where they had moved to separate rooms, and then separate buildings to prevent a more intense confrontation.

It felt so alien to be barely speaking to Dee, but they had reached a stalemate. Neither of them would make the first step towards conciliation, feeling it was the other man that ought to be responsible. They were both hurt and angry, frustrated by the fact that they couldn't seem to make the other see why they were hurting. Ryo was agonisingly torn – whatever the issue between them, it didn't take away the fact that Dee had been assaulted, had had his body invaded and for that, he desperately wanted to comfort his husband and make him understand that he was there for him. However, Dee's stubborn refusal to accept that comfort, saying that he was over it already, sent out a clear signal to Ryo, that Dee didn't want or need him.

"Ryo? Are you okay?"

The blond startled at the question. He looked up to see Drake watching him closely from across the desk. "Only you've been doing that for the past couple of minutes."

Drake nodded in the direction of Ryo's hands, one of which was using an eraser to rub out a pencil error he had made. Not only had the error gone, he had rubbed right through to the surface of his desk. Ryo blushed slightly at the obvious lapse in concentration and screwed up the ruined piece of paper before tossing it into the trash can. "Sorry."

Drake smiled. "Don't apologise. It was your paper you just wrecked."

Ryo glanced ruefully at the work on his desk, very little of which he'd actually completed since he'd arrived that morning. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, resigning himself to the fact that he wasn't in the right frame of mind for work, not with everything hanging over him.

"I may as well just give up. I just can't concentrate."

Drake's expression was sympathetic. He knew Dee was having a hard time of it too, although his friend reacted very differently than the subdued and distant Ryo. Frustratingly, neither man had shed any light on the reason for their huge rift, leaving Drake unsure what to do, other than be there for them if they needed to talk.

"Leave if you want to, I'll cover for you."

Ryo looked horrified, then thoughtful, before he shook his head. "No, it's okay. Thanks for the offer though."

He had no idea how, but he managed to tie up some loose ends before he finished his shift. Dee had covered JJ's shift earlier that day, since the other man was sick, and he and Ryo had nothing pressing to attend to other than paperwork. When Ryo got home, Dee was there, sprawled on the couch with Bright lying entangled in his long legs. The dark-haired man muttered a greeting, but didn't turn from the television, which was broadcasting a football game. Ryo went to get changed, unhappily noting that Dee wasn't exhibiting any signs that he wanted to call a truce. He frowned at the unholy mess in their bedroom, before starting to pick up the clothes wearily. At the moment, an argument about dirty linen seemed completely insignificant. When he left the bedroom, Dee finally made eye contact.

"Elena rang for you," he said flatly, his green eyes boring into Ryo's. "You know, she asked me three times if I was okay. If I didn't know better, I'd swear she knows we're fighting."

Ryo flushed guiltily, unable to hide the telltale colour from his irritated husband.

"Just how much did you tell her, Ryo? Jesus, can't you just keep it between us?"

The flush quickly turned to one of anger, the response out of his mouth before it could be censored by his brain. "_What?_ Like you did?"

Sarcasm didn't suit Ryo and he knew it. He also knew it was a sure-fire way to ensure that Dee wouldn't calm down any time soon.

"For fuck's sake, Ryo. Don't you think this is getting old?"

"Yes! But that's because we just go round in circles. We need to sort this out, Dee…"

"Hey, well I'll get my magic fucking wand out shall I?" the younger man spat, stubbing out his cigarette and tossing the ashtray onto the coffee table with such force that it clattered loudly, threatening to spill its contents.

"We don't need magic – we just need to talk, but you won't."

"Because there's nothing to talk about! Get over it, Ryo." The ebony-haired man left the couch and went to stand in front of the window, turning his back on his lover. The announcer on the television broke the silence, informing the men that it was five o'clock. Ryo spoke soon after.

"Dee, please. Bicky will be home soon and I don't want him to see us fighting like this."

Dee looked thoughtful for a moment. "You know what? You're right." He left the window and headed for the bedroom.

"Dee? What are you doing?" His attempt to follow as Dee disappeared into their bedroom was met by failure when the door wouldn't open, locked from the inside. He heard the mutterings of a telephone conversation, frustratingly unintelligible, before the sounds of movement within the room. Ryo met Bright's intense gaze, the dog communicating a similar confusion about what was going on, before there was a click, and the bedroom door flew open. Dee strode out, a large holdall in one hand and a rucksack in the other.

"Dee…?"

The larger bag was dumped by the door then Dee took the rucksack into the kitchen where he started to fill it with some of Bright's belongings and tins of dog food.

"Dee, what are you doing?" Ryo asked again, although the answer was quickly becoming all too apparent. The sick feeling in his stomach intensified as Dee pulled his jacket on.

"I've called Drake. I'm going to stay at his place for a few days. We need a bit of space from each other," he said mutely, his emerald eyes reflecting a mix of simmering anger and pain. "I'll take Bright with me. He'll only pine for me otherwise."

"Dee, _please_," Ryo replied, following Dee to the front door, his voice threatening to crack with emotion. "You don't have to go."

Dee looked down, readjusting his grip on the heavy bags. "Yes I do. At this rate we'll end up killing each other. I just need some thinking time."

"Yeah?" Swallowing back tears, Ryo continued. "What about what _I_ need? Maybe I don't want you to go."

Dee sighed heavily, his husband's handsome but emotional features making his decision unbelievably difficult. "Ryo, over the last few days I've watched our marriage crumbling before my eyes and _Jesus_, I don't wanna let that happen. But I _can't_ stay." Making an instinctive decision he stepped forward and dropped a tender but fleeting kiss on Ryo's forehead. "I love you, baby," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. "Don't let anyone tell you different."

He opened the front door with the hand holding the least cumbersome bag and made a clicking noise to get his canine companion's attention.

"Bright. Heel."

The dog instantly obeyed, giving the impression of being glued to his master's leg as Dee strode down the corridor towards the elevator. He didn't look back, despite sensing that Ryo was standing at the door watching their departure.

The blond stayed there for several minutes after man and dog had gone. Somehow, closing the door felt like it would make it all final, make it all real. Reluctantly he accepted that Dee was not about to reappear and run into his arms, saying he'd made a huge mistake, and he let the door swing shut, certain his heart was about to break.

When he'd been a teenager, he'd had a girlfriend he was convinced he was in love with. They'd spent a blissful summer together, a summer filled with promise as to what could lie ahead for them. Only fall had rolled around, and the girl announced that she was moving back to her home town and, more devastatingly, her long-term boyfriend, who she'd never actually taken a break from even when she'd been seeing him.

After she'd gone, he'd spent lonely days and nights in anguish, wondering what he had done for her to treat him so cruelly. His heart was broken – he'd professed as much to his parents and he was sure he'd never be able to love again. The thought of that teenage melodrama might have raised a chuckle or at least a smile under different circumstances, but at that moment, all Ryo could think about was how he hadn't really understood love at all.

Now Dee had gone, and the pain was indescribable. He crumpled to the floor, directly behind the door and wept, his face buried in his hands as he sobbed. He desperately wanted his lover's arms around him, and the knowledge that that would most definitely not happen made his grief all the more unbearable. Eventually, knowing Bicky was due home any time, he scraped himself up off the floor and splashed water on his face. The cool liquid did little to disguise his puffy, tear-reddened eyes but he felt a modicum more in control of his emotions, at least enough to prevent him from being a complete wreck in front of Bicky.

The boy, accompanied by Cal, entered the apartment a mere twenty minutes after Dee had left. Ryo was on the couch by then, his back to the door as they came in. He turned briefly to greet them, succeeding in not arousing their suspicions that anything was wrong. However, the inevitable and yet simple question 'where's Dee?' quickly demolished any bravado he had managed to cling to, and he felt the tears returning.

"Ryo?" Cal said, concerned as to why the detective suddenly hunched over, hiding his face with his hands. "Is something the matter?"

Ryo hadn't wanted this, hadn't wanted to burden adult problems on two carefree teens and he didn't speak for a few moments as he fought his feelings back under control.

"Dee's gone," he said eventually, his voice still heavy with emotion, despite successfully halting the tears.

"Gone?" Bicky asked, glancing at Cal worriedly.

"He thinks we need some time apart. He's gone to stay at Drake's for a while," Ryo clarified, looking up at last. Neither Bicky or Cal could hide their shock at his appearance.

"W-what happened?" Cal dumped her bag and went to join Ryo on the couch, her arms instinctively coming around his shoulder. He gave her a brief but grateful smile as he sniffed back more tears.

"You probably know something's been wrong and well, we're not doing so great at sorting it out. Living together and working together is wonderful most of the time, but when things are like they are now, it can make things tricky. Dee's probably right; we just need a little space so we can work things out."

"But _what_ things?" Bicky asked in frustration, thinking Ryo's explanation was very vague. "What's happened? You guys never fight, well, not seriously." His answer did nothing to alleviate the teen's exasperation.

"I can't say. I'm sorry, guys, I know that doesn't tell you anything but I really can't say."

Sensitive as always, Cal could sense that they had reached a stalemate, and Bicky's insistence to know what was going on was just going to upset Ryo further.

"You look like you could do with a lie down," she said firmly to the blond, quickly glancing at her boyfriend to check that he had understood not to say anymore. "Tell you what: me and Bicky can get dinner and we'll wake you up in a couple of hours. How's that sound?"

They expected him to decline the offer but instead he smiled tiredly. "I think I'll do that, if you don't mind."

"Not at all."

The two teens watched as he stood and headed for the bedroom, his whole demeanour displaying a sense of weary bewilderment at the situation he hadn't yet come to accept. When he'd gone, the bedroom door firmly closed behind him, Cal and Bicky turned their attention, and their confusion to each other.

"Poor Ryo," Cal said quietly, not wanting the troubled man to overhear them. "I can't believe Dee would walk out on him."

"Me either," Bicky replied, looking angry all of a sudden. "What the hell is he playing at?"

The girl laid a comforting hand on his arm. "Let's not jump to conclusions, Bic."

"_Conclusions_? Dee's not here and Ryo's a freakin' mess! What the hell are we supposed to think? I'm gonna go see Dee, find out what's going on."

"Bicky, _please_," Cal begged, grabbing his hand before he could leave. "Ryo won't thank you for interfering."

The boy looked incensed. "I won't _be_ interfering. I just want to make Dee see sense and come home where he belongs."

Cal couldn't help the small smile, hearing him speak so defensively of the relationship that he had once strongly objected to. She sympathised with his frustration, knowing she too would do anything within her power to make things right with the men she thought of as family. The sound of the front door opening caused them both to turn sharply, both of them hoping they would see Dee returning. It was impossible for them to hide their disappointment as Tyler stepped in, the older girl smiling until she saw their matching expressions.

"What?"

Cal glanced at Bicky, before she turned back to Tyler, her finger going to her lips to indicate that they should talk quietly. Tyler frowned at the gesture as she joined them on the couch.

"Dee and Ryo have had a fight," Cal said, knowing it was probably the understatement of the year. "Dee's gone to stay with Drake for a bit."

Laura ensured she looked suitably shocked. "Where's Randy then?"

"Sleeping."

"Is he okay?"

Bicky answered first, his anger resurfacing. "No, he's not." There was accusation in his voice and expression that implied that because she was Dee's friend, she was somehow responsible for his actions. "Tyler, you know him best. Go and talk to him, find out what's going on. He'll listen to you."

This time, Cal didn't argue. If anyone was going to talk to Dee she would prefer it was Tyler. An old friend would understand him best and perhaps be able to persuade him into coming home. An old friend might make him see what he and Ryo had was deeply special, and worth going the extra mile for.

"What makes you think I can do anything?" was Laura's reply, the tone a little hostile given the circumstances. Certainly Cal and Bicky seemed surprised by it. "Sorry," she quickly apologised, realising the comment had sounded strange. Her hand went to her forehead, reflecting her apparent stress at the situation. "It's just I feel a little bit responsible."

"Why?" Bicky asked, anxious to understand what was going on and frustrated that first Ryo, and then Tyler was being so vague about what had gone on.

"I can't say. I'm sorry." She got up and walked into the kitchen, leaving Bicky and Cal communicating their helplessness at the situation. The boy's overriding feeling was one he was certain could not be right – she didn't seem to _want_ to help Dee and Ryo make up.

TBC…


	11. Circle of Lies

**Author's note: It feels good to be back on ffnet! There'll be no update for two weeks as I'm off on vacation, but after that, the action should hot up plenty, and hopefully, I'll be able to post chapters more frequently. Sorry to leave you with such a cliffhanger chapter!**

**Nameless: I was worried for a bit, but all my fics seem to have re-appeared at adultffnet. phew**

**mad**** melma: Thanks for the comments; they really cheered me up after a couple of weeks of RL hell.**

**Kitty in the Box: Ah, I'm glad you've got faith in Cal and Bicky Thanks for the reviews.**

**Marie: Yup, I'm glad to be back too! Hope you continue to enjoy the ride.**

**And with that, onto the story! -Swordy**

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 10 – Circle of Lies

Drake left his kitchen, clutching two steaming mugs of coffee. His houseguest had moved from the couch, and was now standing at the window, staring out into the darkness of the city. He didn't turn as Drake entered, his mind clearly somewhere far away from the apartment that he temporarily called home. Drake mentally sighed. Dee had pitched up at his place after a brief but tense phone conversation. Since he'd arrived, he'd said very little about the circumstances that had brought him to stay on his best friend's couch but Drake knew it was serious. Normally, a crowbar would be needed to pry Dee from his adored husband's side – the fact that they were apart of their own volition was worrying to say the least.

"Dee? Coffee for you." Drake broke the silence, as he placed the aforementioned drink on the table next to the couch.

The raven-haired man turned at the sound of Drake's voice. "Thanks."

He moved from his window position to retrieve the mug, which he drank from without enthusiasm. "Thanks for letting me stay, man."

"Anytime. And you know, Dee, if you wanna talk…"

Dee nodded gratefully. "I know. I appreciate it." He paused as he raised the mug again. "I'm not going in to work tomorrow."

Drake looked concerned, although not surprised. "I doubt they'll let you take vacation leave at such short notice."

"I know - I'll take sick leave instead. May as well take advantage of being diabetic once in a while. Will you back me up?"

"Sure, if you think it's for the best."

Dee nodded, knowing the precinct would never challenge anything related to his serious medical condition. It was a card he didn't play often, preferring people to see how he got on with life despite it.

Sensing his colleague wasn't going to say anything more on the subject just then, Drake turned his attention to Dee's canine companion, who so far hadn't left his master's side, and chuckled.

"Who'd have thought someone as chaotic as Dee McLain could own something so well trained?"

Dee looked down at the odd-coloured eyes that looked back at him with deep devotion. Gaining his master's attention caused Bright's stumpy tail to start wagging, the action finally managing to elicit a smile from Dee. He reached down and patted the dog's head, realising that he almost felt envious of a being whose life revolved around eating, sleeping and chasing a ball.

"Yeah, well thanks for putting him up too."

"No probs," Drake grinned, waving a hand to dismiss the thanks. "He's probably better house-trained than you."

"Bastard," Dee smirked as he raised his arm and pointed at the man on the couch. "Bright, go and give Drake a kiss."

The dog duly obliged, crossing the room in long strides to leap into Drake's arms, burying the protesting man under almost seventy pounds of muscular flesh, as he sought the detective's face to lick. Dee laughed, but it did little to assuage the feeling of emptiness that had settled in the pit of his stomach.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ryo headed up to their fourth floor office, unable to put a finger on what it was he was experiencing. The previous evening had passed without any word from Dee – no phone call to say he was coming home, not even a call to say he was at Drake's and was okay. They were due on shift together, which Ryo hadn't yet decided was a good thing or not. He sighed as he paused with his fingers on the door handle. Now was the time to find out. Drake's car was in the parking lot so he figured they must have come together.

He entered the office to find Drake and JJ, but no Dee. The two men looked up from their work as he entered, offering the blond man a friendly greeting without trying to look like they were studying his emotional state, even though Ryo knew they would be. He shrugged off his jacket and draped it over the back of his chair, his eyes automatically flicking across to his husband's desk to check for signs that he was really here. It was impossible to tell – Dee never put things away at the end of the day, creating the appearance at his desk that someone was perpetually working there. When JJ left the office to speak to someone on the third floor, it was inevitable that the conversation would shift to the other absent member of their team.

"Is Dee not here?" Ryo asked, trying to sound casual as he shuffled some papers. Only the lack of eye contact destroyed his illusion of nonchalance.

"No," Drake replied. "He stayed ho… well, at mine," he corrected himself, knowing 'home' was with Ryo.

"Did he give a reason?"

Drake cocked his head to one side. "Officially or unofficially?"

"Both."

"Well, officially, he's feeling a little under the weather because of his diabetes."

"And unofficially?"

"He wants to stay home watching trash TV and playing videogames because he's goddamned miserable."

Silence ensured, which Ryo broke hesitantly.

"Has he… has he said anything to you?"

Drake toyed with the pencil he'd spent the best part of the morning chewing. "No, nothing." He paused before his next comment, ensuring he had the other's full attention before he spoke. "Ryo, I just want to say that I'm not taking sides. Just because I said Dee could stay at my place, doesn't mean anything. I'm still your friend as much as I am his, whatever's happened."

Ryo managed a small but grateful smile. "Thanks, that means a lot." The smile faded quickly and his voice faltered. "Please, tell him to come home, Drake."

"I'll try," Drake promised, faced with the other man's heartache. "Believe me, Ryo, I'll try."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Despite Drake's best efforts, Dee wasn't going anywhere. Three days had passed since he had walked out on Ryo and although it was clear that he was unhappy being apart from the other man, he had made no moves to resolve the situation. Laura's visit hadn't helped. Just as he was reconsidering things, realising that he hated being separated from the man he loved more than life itself, she came by to tell him what was going on in the McLain household in his absence. From her report Ryo seemed to be coping fine, much better than Dee had hoped or expected, all things considered. Naturally, she neglected to mention how Ryo seemed to spend his time at home walking around in a stupor, sitting then standing, then sitting again, picking up a photo and staring at it sadly - sometimes with tear-filled eyes, but always with an expression that spoke of his deep sadness.

Dee listened to her with mounting anger. Although she didn't say as much, it seemed that Ryo did not want him to return home unless he was prepared to apologise. Devastated by this news, Dee poured his heart out to the girl who had been like a sister to him growing up, indicating that he bore her no ill will despite her part in bringing about this terrible situation. She consoled and comforted, saying the things he wanted to hear but also putting forward her opinion that she felt that Ryo was behaving unreasonably. In his emotional state, her words carried weight, and it wasn't long before her opinion had become his own. Ryo should be apologising to _him._

Knowing she had been going to visit Dee, Ryo was waiting up for her when she got back. She joined him on the couch, maintaining her role - evermore challenging because of the close proximity. He smelled _wonderful_, obviously having just showered, his damp hair tousled as it fell about his anxious features. His body language said he was nervous about what she would say, but she barely noticed, instead powerfully aware of how the t-shirt he wore hugged his slim frame.

"So?" he asked, his eyes pleading that she would deliver the news that Dee was coming home.

She managed to look both upset and sympathetic. "I'm really sorry, Randy. I tried, honestly I did, but you know how stubborn he can be."

The blond nodded, his lips pressed into a thin line as he fought back tears. "Well thanks for trying."

She reached across and took hold of his hand, looking for all the world like she shared his pain. "I don't understand, Randy. He's just not making any sense. He's so… angry. I've never seen him like this."

"It's okay," Ryo said, the comforted now becoming the comforter. He frowned as, during the period of silence, she seemed to be contemplating something, but unsure what words to use. "What's the matter, Tyler?"

The girl looked nervous before she responded. "I – I don't think Dee is… well, I don't think he's coping very well. He was kind of agitated, but every time I asked him if he was okay, he got angry with me."

Ryo felt his blood run cold. An agitated Dee was the Dee of old; struggling in the grip of his post-traumatic stress disorder. Could it be that reliving difficult memories had caused him to relapse? Ryo felt sick at the thought.

"I need to talk to him," he said suddenly, glancing across at the phone. He was reaching for it, before Laura's hand stopped him.

"Don't. I'll try to talk to him again."

"But…"

"Randy… if you try to talk to him now, it might make things worse. He's hurting and you're hurting and you'll probably both end up saying things you'll regret."

He responded with a watery smile. "I think it's a bit late for that."

She returned his smile, although hers was more confident. "Go and sleep on it. Nothing's unfixable, Randy."

The detective nodded, giving her hand a grateful squeeze before he headed to the bedroom. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Laura knew she'd made a mistake. Attributing Dee's behaviour to a possible relapse of PTSD shifted the blame from the man himself. She had seen the change in Ryo's dark eyes – he was still hurting, but a hardness seemed to come over him, indicating that he was prepared to be practical rather than emotional in the face of this information. Suddenly, Dee wasn't to blame.

And then Laura understood. For all her efforts, she would never separate the lovers. They were constantly looking for reasons to excuse the other's behaviour, no matter how unreasonable she reported it to be. Even Dee, who seemed more angry about the situation than Ryo, had confided in her that he wanted to talk with his husband, such was his unhappiness at their separation. Seeing Ryo reaching a similar conclusion forced her to face reality – her current strategy would not break them. Her approach, cruel as it seemed, was too gentle and at this rate, her conniving would soon be discovered and she would lose Randy altogether.

That night she lay awake, mentally going over what she had achieved over the last few months. She knew some would probably find it an astounding achievement that she had managed to move in with complete strangers and ingratiate herself into their lives, but it still wasn't enough. Just being close to Randy didn't satisfy her yearning for him, and seeing him with Dee was a constant reminder that he wasn't living the life she wanted him to live.

Dee was the problem. She could see now that he wasn't just an obstacle that could be sidestepped. If she wanted Randy, then she had to get rid of Dee.

Permanently.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

She went to see Dee the following morning. The two men were continuing to work opposing shifts, although more recently the separation had come about because Ryo was involved in training with his armed response unit, and not by choice. However, Dee informed her as they took Bright for a walk that he had left a message on Ryo's cell phone, asking if they could meet for dinner the following evening.

"D'you think he'll ring me?" he asked, as they sat on the bench together watching Bright galloping about like a lunatic. "I know we haven't spoken for a few days, but surely he'll want to put all this behind us too. You've been living with him, Tyler, d'you think he's ready for a truce?"

The girl looked thoughtful for a moment. "I dunno. Randy doesn't say much about his feelings, but I'm sure you can win him over."

Dee frowned; the answer not exactly the one he was looking for. He didn't want to have to 'win Ryo over'. He wanted his husband to have come to his own conclusion about what they should do. Still, Tyler hadn't said that he wouldn't come, so at least that was something.

"I miss him so much," he said quietly, as he studied the smouldering cigarette between his fingers. "I never thought we'd come to this. I should have just been honest with him from the start, told him about what I'd found out in England. I can understand why he's hurt."

Laura nodded, but didn't reply, her mind walking the steps through her new plan, which would start not a moment too soon. They returned to Drake's apartment together, Dee explaining that he had the place to himself as his colleague had had to fly to New Jersey as part of the Anderson Investigation. Laura acknowledged the news, even though she already knew Drake was away by checking at the precinct, but gave no indication of her glee. Drake's absence created a clear way forward for her wicked plan, and had been another factor in putting it into action straight away. She offered to spend the evening with Dee, an invitation he readily accepted since he didn't relish the thought of being alone. When he suggested a movie, Laura offered to start preparing their lunch while he went to the video store. Once he was gone, she flew into action.

From her jacket pocket she produced a bottle filled with a simple salt-water solution that she had prepared herself. A quick search of the apartment uncovered the detective's diabetes equipment, and she went to work disposing of all his insulin, before replacing it with the saline solution.

She had gotten the idea as she lay in her makeshift bedroom at Randy's place, staring up at the packed bookshelf next to the computer desk. A book about diabetes management had caught her eye, and she had quickly formed a plan. Using the computer, she had researched what she could substitute Dee's insulin for without affecting either appearance or viscosity. To her delight, saline would not show up in a drugs test, if the circumstances surrounding his death were felt to be suspicious. The enormity of what she was doing never once crossed her conscience.

Once his entire supply of insulin and the emergency drug Glucagon had been substituted, she replaced his equipment and went back to preparing the meal. Even as she watched Dee inject himself with something that would have no effect on his blood sugar level, she never thought of the consequences - that she was toying with a human life with a blatant disregard for its sanctity. Randy _had_ to be hers.

They were watching the movie together when the phone rang. Dee paused the action and answered the call, his sudden change in expression telling Laura the identity of the caller. It amused her to hear his guarded tone – almost as if they were strangers arranging a first date.

"Pick you up about eight? Sure. How about that great Thai restaurant? Excellent. I'll see you then." There was a pause. "Love you, Ryo."

He put the phone down and grinned madly, before throwing his arms around Laura and hugging her tightly. Bright looked up and wagged his stump of a tail hopefully at the sudden excitement.

"What was that for?" she asked, looking at him with a quizzical smile.

"Don't act all coy. I know you put in a good word for me."

God, you're such an idiot 

"Well…"

"I really appreciate it, Tyler, thanks."

She insisted they watch TV late into the night, ensuring that Dee fell asleep without checking his blood sugar levels. She was still there as he gave himself his morning injection after finding his levels unexpectedly high. Not overly concerned, he gave himself a slightly larger amount to compensate for his raised level, unaware that the drug he had injected would have no effect. She stayed with him since it was his day off, sharing his excited chatter about his forthcoming 'date'. By mid-morning, he was starting to show signs of hyperglycaemia. He knew the symptoms and reacted accordingly, giving himself an extra shot of the drug that he thought would remedy the problem.

Naturally he was expecting the insulin to take effect, and he promised a concerned Tyler that he would call a doctor if he still felt unwell in a few hours' time He was assuming of course that he would be _compos mentis_ and capable of making the call, but Laura knew different. He lay down on the couch, informing her in a slightly slurred voice that he seemed unaware of, that he was just resting his eyes for a few minutes while he waited for his insulin to kick in. She watched him drift off to sleep with a smile on her face. No one would be around to check on him.

"Bye, Dee," she said quietly, before she slipped out of the apartment.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ryo fastened the last button on his shirt, unable to resist a smile at the image staring back at him from the mirror. It was no random pick – the shirt was one of Dee's favourites, the scent he wore always had a powerful effect on Dee's desires. Happy with his appearance, he left the bedroom, tucking his wallet into the back pocket of his jeans.

"Heeeey, good looking!" Cal called out, looking up from the magazine she was reading to appraise the handsome man. "Doesn't he look hot, Tyler?"

Ryo coloured slightly, his embarrassment mirroring Laura's as the girl reddened too. _Of course he's fucking hot._

"Yeah… you look really nice, Randy."

Ryo smiled. "Well thanks, guys. It's nice to get the vote of confidence."

"D'you want a drink?" Cal asked, about to make one for herself and Tyler.

"No thanks. Dee should be here any time."

Eight o'clock approached… and passed. Ryo made a comment about Dee always being late, but it was obvious he was starting to get edgy. When a whole half hour – and well past Dee's 'fashionable lateness' – had passed, Ryo had lost any trace of good humour. Doubt was setting in.

"Ring him," Cal urged. "He probably just got caught up making himself gorgeous for you."

Her comment raised only a hint of a smile. After a further fifteen minutes, he gave into temptation and picked up the phone, dialling both Drake's apartment and Dee's cell phone, with no success.

"Maybe he just…" Cal started to say in the face of Ryo's obvious disappointment.

"It's okay, Cal. I appreciate you trying to cheer me up but Dee's obviously just changed his mind about us getting together to talk."

He looked so despondent it was difficult to know what to say. He saved them the awkwardness. "I'm gonna have an early night, read for a couple of hours and then turn in," he announced, heading for the bedroom and already starting to unbutton his shirt.

"What if Dee rings?" Cal called after him.

Ryo looked thoughtful for a moment, his hand paused on the door handle. "He won't," he replied quietly, before he disappeared inside his room.

TBC…


	12. Everybody Hurts

**Author's note: I'm happy to say I'm finally starting to get on top of things again – I think I must have needed a holiday! Anyway, I wrote a lot while I was away and coming home to find so many reviews has made it all worth while. I just hope the next chapter (and everything that follows), are enough to convey my thanks. - Swordy**

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 11 – Everybody Hurts

In the morning Bicky returned, having spent the night at a friend's. He noticed Ryo's obvious unhappiness, but didn't find out what was going on until his adoptive parent left for work and Cal, who had stayed the night in his absence, filled him in. Bicky listened with mounting anger, able to imagine Ryo's disappointment at receiving an olive branch, only to have it cruelly snatched away again. Cal had barely finished before he was on his feet.

"Where are you going?" she asked, worried by the ferocious look on his face.

"Where d'you think? To talk to Dee of course."

"Bicky…"

"No. I'm going."

"But what about school?"

"Cover for me. You'll think of something. I'll see you later."

She nodded, part of her agreeing with him and wanting to know why Dee had let Ryo down so badly.

The boy reached Drake's apartment, after first calling the precinct to confirm that Dee wasn't on duty. He found the apartment and knocked, after pressing his ear to the door and hearing the television playing within. When no-one answered he knocked again – a little more impatiently this time.

"Come on, Dee. I know you're in there."

There was movement from within, but a clicking on the wooden floor beyond told Bicky it wasn't Dee approaching the door. A plaintive whine confirmed it.

"Hey, Bright," Bicky called out, pressing himself up against the door. "Where's Dee?"

He could hear the dog on the other side, and the frantic movements and whimpering evoked a growing feeling that something was wrong. Dee wouldn't have arranged a date to deliberately stand Ryo up. He needed to get inside. His thoughts of lock picking were interrupted by Drake's next-door neighbour emerging from her apartment. Recalling that Drake had a conjoined balcony, which would hopefully offer an easier way in, or at least a view inside the apartment, he ran to the woman before she could walk away.

"I need to get into Drake Parker's place," he said hurriedly, using the occupant's name to show her he wasn't just some punk trying to break in.

"He's away," she replied, looking him up and down suspiciously, unconsciously bringing her handbag closer to her body and readjusting her grip on the strap.

"I know, but Dee… my step-dad is staying there and I'm worried about him." He'd never called Dee his step-dad in his life, but if it strengthened his case then he was prepared to do it. "He has diabetes and he can sometimes get pretty ill because of it. He's a cop too, he works with Drake. Please, just let me climb across your balcony and look in through the window."

Wide blue eyes, now only half-acting, helped sway her decision. She nodded as she retrieved her key from her purse and opened the door. Bicky followed her in, shifting impatiently from one foot to the other while he waited for her to unlock the glass-panelled door that led out onto her balcony. The two verandas were separated only by a low wall, which Bicky vaulted with ease. He pressed his face to the glass, the movement alerting Bright, who ran over to jump at the door.

The TV was on, as he'd already heard from the hallway, and on the couch Dee was sprawled, his arm resting across his face as if in slumber. Bicky knew better. He'd knocked long and loud and, now he thought about it more rationally, Dee would no sooner pass up a chance to spend time with Ryo than he would pass up the chance to play basketball in the NBA.

He tried the glass door and, to his relief, found it unlocked. Bright leapt at him excitedly, but the boy pushed him away and commanded him to lie down, knowing there were more urgent matters at hand. He rushed to Dee's side and pulled his limp arm off his face, saying the man's name loudly. No response. Shaking Dee hard by the shoulders also had no effect. The only positive in this initial assessment was the confirmation that Dee was still breathing. He knew Drake's neighbour would be waiting so he hurried back out onto the balcony.

"Call an ambulance," he ordered, ignoring Bright who was dancing at his heels. "Tell them he's in a diabetic coma."

The woman didn't hesitate, seeing the boy's pensive expression. Satisfied that she would summon help, he re-entered the apartment to locate the front door keys. When help arrived, the emergency worker quickly diagnosed severe hyperglycaemia – Dee's blood sugar level was dangerously high, warranting immediate treatment and emergency hospitalisation. During the paramedic's examination, Bicky had to lock Bright away. The normally placid dog was barely recognisable as he growled and worried over his unconscious master. While calming and reassuring him, Bicky shut Bright in the kitchen, mentally apologising to Drake for whatever damage the dog might do while he went with Dee to the hospital. Ryo's cell phone was off, but the dispatcher at the precinct promised to get a message to him as soon as possible.

The emergency worker that rode in the back made friendly conversation with the teenager, who barely took his eyes off their patient as he searched for signs that Dee was coming round.

"So is he your dad?"

Bicky looked up at the question. "He's sort of my step-dad."

"Sort of?"

"I'm adopted. He's married to my adoptive dad."

The man's face contorted as he took a couple of seconds to mentally map out the relationship that the teenager had just described. An intriguing family situation for an intriguing boy, the paramedic thought, as he took stock of the dark-hued skin, bright blue eyes and a shock of blond hair, coupled with an unteenage-like nonchalance about his gay parentage. He warmed to the boy and made sure he stayed with him while his colleague took Dee through into the emergency room once they arrived at the hospital. He left when a nurse arrived, bidding Bicky farewell as well as reassuring him that everything would be okay.

Ryo arrived forty minutes later, as Bicky was helping himself to one of the snacks the nurse had brought him. There had been no word on Dee's condition and Bicky could only describe how he had found Dee unconscious after going to Drake's apartment to sound him out about missing the planned date. Ryo sat down heavily in the chair, his features a mask of worry.

"I should have known there was something wrong when he didn't turn up. I just thought he'd changed his mind about us getting together to talk things through. I was so angry with him, I never stopped to think that there could be anything wrong. I'm so sorry, Bicky. If I'd been less caught up in myself, I might have had your common sense."

"It's okay, like I said, I went round there with the intention of kicking his ass," the boy replied with a wry smile as he tried to assuage Ryo's guilt.

They both turned quickly as the door behind them opened. The doctor who entered looked a similar age to Ryo, although his dark hair was greying at the temples and his eyes were masked by small, wire-rimmed glasses. He pushed these up his nose as he introduced himself as Dr. Hargreaves, the physician in charge of Dee's care. Ryo explained who he was, then introduced his adoptive son before describing how it was Bicky who had found Dee and summoned help.

"Well Dee certainly has Bicky to thank," the doctor explained. "Any longer and his situation would have been extremely critical."

"So he's okay then?" Ryo asked hopefully.

Dr. Hargreaves gave a small smile, wishing he could deliver that news. "He's currently undergoing treatment. His blood sugar level needs to be brought back down, but it has to be done slowly to minimise any long-term damage. I'm afraid his condition is still very serious because he hasn't yet regained consciousness." The medic paused and looked as if he wanted to say something. Ryo realised the reason for his reluctance, by the way his eyes shifted to Bicky, indicating that he did not want to say it in front of the teenager.

"Uh, Bicky, would you mind getting me a cup of coffee?" He smiled to try and allay Bicky's suspicions. "I think I need the caffeine."

Whether the teenager knew Ryo was trying to get him out of the way or not, he didn't protest when the detective handed him some loose change to use in the vending machine down the hall. When he'd gone, Ryo turned and addressed the other man.

"Is there something else, Dr. Hargreaves?"

The doctor nodded in response as he pushed his glasses up his nose again. "Mr. McLain, has Dee been under any pressure recently?"

Ryo contemplated lying, their relationship usually being nobody's business but their own, but responded truthfully. "We've been having some difficulties. Dee had moved out temporarily, but only the night before last he called wanting to get together and talk. Why?"

The medic looked slightly uncomfortable. "I'm sure you have a good understanding of Dee's condition, and you're aware that he's been hospitalised because he's hyperglycaemic."

"Yeah, does that mean his insulin has been ineffective?"

"We've run tests and we could barely find any trace of insulin in his body."

Ryo frowned, unsure what conclusion the doctor was drawing. He was soon to find out.

"From the tests, I can only conclude that Dee must have missed several insulin injections. He would have started to feel the effects after missing the first and definitely the second, so he would have known something was wrong."

An ominous silence followed. "So what exactly are you saying?" Ryo asked eventually.

"That I think Dee may have deliberately withheld his medication."

Ryo's dark eyes grew wide, the implied meaning sinking in. "You think Dee tried to _kill himself_?"

Dr. Hargreaves nodded. "I think it's a distinct possibility, Mr. McLain."

Ryo shook his head so emphatically his hair fell into his eyes. He brushed it away to stare directly at the other man. "No… no, he wouldn't. There must be some other explanation."

The physician nodded sympathetically, expecting this reaction. "Well, obviously it will be Dee himself who will be able to explain what's happened, but the tests _are_ conclusive. He can't have taken in any insulin for an entire day, if not longer, and he _will_ have known about it."

Ryo met the medic's similarly dark eyes, realising that the man had already made his mind up about how Dee had come to be in this predicament. Before he could defend his unconscious lover, Bicky re-entered the room and he was forced to smile gratefully as he accepted the steaming cup of coffee from his adoptive son.

"Thanks," he said, doubting the warmth of the beverage could chase away the chill in his body. He didn't want Bicky to learn of the doctor's suspicions. A couple of years back, Bicky had revealed what had become of his mother – up until that point he had never to Ryo's recollection mentioned her, even in passing. When he did talk, the detective had learned with growing sadness that Bicky's mother had killed herself when he was only six, according to his father, after a long history of depression and alcohol abuse. Bicky had survived this trauma, and the subsequent death of his father, with astounding tenacity and resilience, but the knowledge that the shadow of suicide hadn't left his life completely was something that troubled Ryo, making him reluctant to tell the boy.

The doctor agreed to let Ryo visit Dee briefly. Bicky stayed in the waiting area as his adoptive parent followed Dr. Hargreaves to Dee's room, his face set in grim lines as it was reiterated that his lover was very ill. He entered the room alone, almost overwhelmed by a feeling of ambivalence. He wanted to rush over, hug and reassure the unconscious man, but the terrible thought that Dee might no longer want those things from him prevented him from straying far from the door. He studied the handsome face, its clean, sharp profile demanding his attention. He found Dee as compellingly attractive as the day they had first met. When his lover entered a room, Ryo would admit that he still experienced a rush of love and pride knowing that Dee was his, no matter how many heads he turned. In the face of his unflinching ardour it was hard to believe that such a gulf had appeared between them, to the point where Dee had moved out and…

Ryo let the thought trail off. If not for the medical evidence, and the fact that Tyler had seen Dee in what could only be described as a disturbed state, he knew he wouldn't believe Dee capable of suicide, but what else _could_ he believe? He eventually stepped forward and deposited a light kiss upon Dee's cool forehead before retreating to the door again, almost overwhelmed by both guilt and anger. He turned away, nearly walking into an empty trolley as he made his way back to the waiting area. Bicky stood as he approached.

"Are you gonna stay the night?" the boy asked, recalling when, after Dee had been rescued following his abduction, Ryo had spent day and night by his side at the hospital. He was therefore surprised when Ryo shook his head.

"I'll come back later on. They'll ring if there's any change."

"You sure?" Blue eyes reflected his uncertainty following the detective's response.

"Sure." They set off to walk to the exit until Ryo stopped suddenly. "I should really take you to school," he said with a frown. Bicky made a face that Ryo seemed to accept with wearied resignation. "Come on then, I'll give you a ride home."

Bicky nodded, relieved that Ryo wasn't annoyed that he had skipped school, but worried at how detached his adoptive parent seemed. The boy pushed the issue gently as they drove away from the hospital, but Ryo remained unresponsive. They stopped off at Drake's first to collect an almost frantic Bright. He shot from the kitchen and galloped around the apartment, clearly trying to find Dee. When his mission was unsuccessful, he launched himself at Bicky, the next best thing, and smothered him with licks.

Ryo collected the dog's belongings to take them back with them before stopping at Drake's neighbour's place to thank her for trusting Bicky and helping him. He explained to the woman that he would call Drake and let him know what had happened, just in case he was ringing his apartment and getting worried when there was continually no answer.

Bicky's suspicions about Ryo's odd behaviour were further aroused when Ryo asked him to take Bright for a walk the minute Tyler stepped through the door. The boy went, but his angry expression told the detective that he knew he was being kept in the dark about something and wasn't happy about it.

Laura also knew something was amiss, and her heart surged in anticipation as she waited for her beloved to explain.

"Thank God you're back," Ryo exclaimed once Bicky had gone.

"Why? What's happened?" she asked, dumping her bag on the floor and hurrying around to where Ryo was sitting.

"Dee's in the hospital."

Her heart surged again, although this time in disappointment. So Dee wasn't dead. _Bastard, why won't you just let me and Randy be together?_

"He's in the hospital? What's happened?"

"He's in a diabetic coma, but the thing is, Tyler, the doctor thinks it might be self-inflicted."

Laura's eyes widened in genuine surprise. She'd considered the possibility that Dee might survive and although it was a bitter blow, she felt hugely relieved that the saline she had replaced his insulin with would be untraceable. She'd never, however, considered that something could be salvaged from her plan should it fail. But from the devastated look on Randy's face, she realised that she had inadvertently created possibly the most successful barrier between them yet. "I – I'm not sure I understand," she stammered, maintaining her role as a stunned friend.

Ryo sighed and ran a hand through his already ruffled hair. "The doctor treating Dee said that when they ran some tests, they couldn't find a trace of any insulin in his body. He thinks the most obvious scenario is that Dee missed several injections."

"Maybe he forgot?"

Ryo shook his head. "Not possible. One maybe, but he couldn't have missed two without noticing. He starts to feel a little off-colour if he injects late, so he'd definitely know from how he was feeling that he'd missed his injections completely."

Laura nodded, recalling how she had witnessed the subtle changes as Dee's condition had worsened, to the point when she had left, when he had been barely conscious. "Are you saying he was trying to kill himself?" she asked, her tone hostile, as if she refused to believe what she was being told.

Ryo's response was almost apologetic as he took in her tense expression and defensive posture. "I don't want to believe it either, Tyler, but the doctor at the hospital is certain that that's what's happened. That's why I wanted to speak to you; you said that Dee was agitated the other night…"

He let the sentence trail off, allowing Laura to draw her own conclusions about what he meant and wanted to know. She nodded slowly, her shoulders slumping as the frostiness faded from her expression. "He definitely wasn't himself. I asked him a few times if he was okay but he started to get mad with me so I stopped. It was like he wasn't even listening to me anymore. I'm sorry, Randy, I didn't realise he was so bad or I wouldn't have left him."

"It's okay, Tyler, I don't want you blaming yourself. If anyone is guilty then it's me. I lived with Dee when his PTSD was at its worst, or at least we thought it was. I should have seen what was happening and I didn't."

Not knowing what else to do, Laura covered her face with her hands in apparent despair. She flinched slightly in surprise as a strong pair of arms encircled her, but quickly melted into the embrace, savouring the scent and touch of her man.

"Don't worry, Tyler," he said, speaking softly as he held her to him. "We'll get through this together."

_Together! God, I love you, Randy._

Ryo was in the office completing paperwork when he received a call to say Dee had regained consciousness. He was immediately hit by a pang of guilt because he wasn't there and vowed to get to the hospital as quickly as possible. He announced to the nurse on duty that he knew where Dee was and didn't need showing to his room, but she insisted that he didn't go down there until he had seen Dee's physician. The blond was growing impatient when Dr. Hargreaves arrived, apologetically explaining that he had been called away to an emergency, and thanking the detective for waiting.

"Is something wrong?" Ryo asked nervously, wondering what could be worse than being told that his husband had possibly made a failed suicide attempt.

"I've spoken to Dee," Dr. Hargreaves announced.

Ryo's face lit up with hope. "And he's explained what happened; that he just forgot his insulin?"

The medic shook his head. "Believe me, Mr. McLain, I was hoping Dee would say just that, but I'm afraid his response has concerned me greatly."

Ryo frowned. "Why? What's he said?"

"He's insisting that he did all of his injections, in fact, he's saying he gave himself more insulin than usual because he noticed his blood sugar was a little high. It's just not possible."

"Have you told him this?" Ryo asked, growing more confused by the minute. He'd expected things to come clear once Dee regained consciousness – not this.

"Oh yes, but he insisted that there must be some mistake. He got quite…"

"What?"

Dr. Hargreaves looked sympathetic. "Aggressive. I'm sorry, Mr. McLain, I won't lie to you. I'm concerned about Dee's state of mind. Has he ever given you any cause for concern in the past?"

The blond detective sighed and swept a hand through his hair. "Dee was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder last year." He hated the look of understanding that appeared in the medic's eyes. "But he received extensive counselling and it hasn't been an issue for a long, long time." Even as he reacted defensively, he could hear Tyler telling him of Dee's agitation when she had visited, so what he was saying wasn't exactly true, but he didn't want to admit that the doctor might have a point.

"Mr. McLain, I feel Dee would benefit from some psychiatric evaluation, but I'm doubtful that he'll agree to it."

Ryo said he thought it highly unlikely too. "So what can we do? I can try to talk to him, but I'm not sure it'll help."

"It's worth trying. I'd prefer to admit him with his consent."

Ryo's eyes widened. "Wait a minute – you're talking about involuntary commitment, aren't you?"

The older man nodded slowly, his dark eyes indicating that it wasn't a step he would take lightly. "I'm afraid so. Please understand; it's for his own good. We wouldn't do this unless we were worried about the consequences if we don't. I have a duty of care to your husband, Mr. McLain, and I'd be neglecting my obligation as his physician if I just let him walk out of here once he is physically well."

Ryo looked down at his hands twisting nervously in his lap. To say he felt sick was a gross understatement. "I understand what you're saying, Dr. Hargreaves. It's just a lot to take in right now."

"I know," the older man replied gently as he readjusted his glasses. "But we have strict criteria for these situations, which I'm afraid that Dee meets. If there's concern about self-harm and the patient has a condition that requires self-administration of prescribed medicines then we have to protect them from themselves and try to get to the bottom of why they've come to be in this situation."

Ryo responded with an unhappy nod of the head. "We've had some relationship problems recently, but we were just starting to sort them out. I don't understand why…"

"Mr. McLain, that's _why_ we want to help; for your sake as well as Dee's." The doctor smiled encouragingly. "Now, I think someone should be expecting you."

Ryo was surprised to find that he was steeling himself as he prepared to open the door to Dee's room. He tried to remind himself that inside the room was the man he loved, the man he'd married without hesitation and the man he knew he would die for and thought he commanded the same level of devotion in return. The idea that Dee would leave him without a second thought was painful to say the least. He also recognised a trace of anger within him.

Once, they had attended a scene that had turned out to be suicide rather than murder. As they had driven away, leaving the coroner to deal with the grim remains, they had fallen into a discussion about the whys and wherefores of suicide. On most points they had agreed, but Ryo had been surprised at how strongly Dee felt that there was an element of punishment intended by those that took their own lives. It was meant, he said despite Ryo's protestations to the contrary, to make those left behind feel that there was something more they could have done, something they could have said that would have made things bearable. Knowing Dee felt that way made Ryo both hurt and angry. If the doctor was correct with his theory, had Dee wanted to punish him? Was Dee blaming him for the breakdown in their relationship? Using unknown reserves of strength, dredged from deep within, Ryo found a smile as he turned the door handle and pushed on into the room.

TBC…


	13. He Said She Said

**Author's note: As usual, thanks for the reviews, everyone – I always look forward to posting a new chapter to see what you all think! Poor old Dee… no one's listening to him are they? Ah well, keep watching **

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 12 – He Said, She Said

The occupant of the bed turned at the sound of movement, green eyes landing on Ryo and flooding with warmth.

"Hey, baby."

Ryo closed the door and approached the bed. The room was pleasant enough; pastel blue walls, blue and yellow patterned curtains and a television mounted on a bracket high in one corner. Above Dee's bed was a small whiteboard on which someone had written 'insulin dependent diabetic – nil by mouth' to inform all members of staff that his nutritional intake was being given intravenously and therefore strictly controlled.

"Hey," Ryo replied, ducking in to kiss Dee on the lips before he sat down in the visitor's chair. "How are you feeling?"

"I've felt better. Although things are looking up now you're here."

A smile Ryo had just about managed, but he couldn't force the grin Dee was expecting him to return. "Dee, how did this happen?" he blurted out before the dark-haired man could enquire what was wrong.

Dee looked surprised at the unexpected question. His face clouded with a deep frown. "Wait a minute, has this got something to do with that doctor? What's he been saying?"

Immediately Ryo sensed he was on dicey ground. There was a difficult pause as he weighed up how best to proceed without antagonising Dee. "It's not about any doctor, Dee. I'm just worried about how you could forget your insulin..."

"I didn't!" Dee protested angrily. "Godamnit, Ryo! I took every injection. Why don't you believe me?"

"I want to believe you," Ryo replied calmly, taking Dee's hand in his, "but Dr. Hargreaves said you had no insulin in your body. They've done tests. He said it wasn't possible for you to have done any injections in the last day or two before you were admitted."

"Well he's wrong," Dee snapped, snatching his hand back and folding his arms across his chest defensively. "I know what I did."

Stalemate. Dee was a man of conviction and Ryo knew it wasn't worth pushing the issue when he was adamant about something. "Well okay," he said, his tone placatory. "I don't want to fight with you, love. I just want you to get better soon. Trust me, Dr. Hargreaves only wants the same, no matter how it may seem."

He wondered whether he'd said too much when Dee frowned, but to his relief, his lover didn't seem to dwell on it as his face relaxed and his body language turned less defensive. Having survived that close call, Ryo suddenly felt the urge to be out of the room before he landed himself in any more trouble.

"Well, I need to call Bicky, let him know you're okay," Ryo said, standing quickly. "I promised him that I would. He's worried about you."

"Tell him I'm fine… and thanks," Dee called after him, having been told by Dr. Hargreaves how he had come to receive hospital treatment.

"I will," Ryo promised, feeling wretched and cowardly that he hadn't broached the issue of psychiatric assessment himself. He went to look for a payphone, mentally wading through his confusion. Dr. Hargreaves was certain Dee had tried to commit suicide, so why would Dee insist that he _had_ done his insulin? If it were suicide, surely Dee would admit that he had deliberately withheld his medication? Maybe that was to spare him, Ryo, the pain. Or maybe he genuinely believed he had done his insulin, despite the medical tests proving otherwise. Obviously Ryo would prefer it to be the latter, but either way, psychiatric help seemed necessary. He found the payphone and dialled home. After several rings it was answered, the voice Tyler's.

"Hey, Tyler," he announced, trying to keep his voice light. "Good news. Dee's woken up."

"Oh thank God. Is he okay?"

"Er, yeah… he's been really lucky."

"Is he coming home?"

Ryo faltered. "Uh, not yet. They want to keep him in for a while."

"Oh… right."

"Tyler? You know when you were with Dee, did you see him take his insulin at all?"

"His insulin?"

"It's a strange question, I know, but it's really important."

She could hear the hope in his voice. Back at the apartment, Laura covered the mouthpiece on the phone, as if her thoughts would leak through to Ryo and let him know that what she was about to say next was a lie.

"I wish I could say I did, Randy, but I didn't. I didn't think to watch him because I never thought he'd do something like this."

Ryo frowned into the phone. "So you think the doctor is right? That Dee did it deliberately?"

He heard her sigh. "I'm sorry, Randy, but I do. If you'd seen how he was…"

"Yeah, it's okay. Don't feel bad. Will you just let Bicky and Cal know that Dee's woken up and he's all right," Ryo replied, catching Dr. Hargreaves' eye as the older man came out of a door marked 'hospital personnel only'. "Look, Tyler, I have to go. I'll see you later." He ended the call and walked down the corridor to join the medic. "I was just calling home to let them know that Dee's regained consciousness," he explained, his smile never meeting his eyes.

The doctor nodded. "I'm sure that must be a relief for your family. Now we have to see about getting Dee well."

Ryo knew which aspect of his lover's recovery he was referring to. Suddenly his physical wellbeing seemed the least of their worries.

"Did you speak to Dee about his injections?" the medic asked, his voice low as they conversed in the corridor outside Dee's room.

"Yes, but he's still insisting he didn't miss a single one."

The doctor nodded, his eyebrows knitting together to complement his serious expression. "I thought he might. Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to discuss the issue of psychiatric evaluation. Physically, Dee is recovering well and under normal circumstances I'd be happy to discharge him, but we need to get to the bottom of why he wound up here in the first place. It's up to you if you want to be present when I speak to him."

"I want to be there," Ryo replied, resolutely determined to make up for his earlier reluctance. "I want him to see that I'm here for him, no matter what."

Dr. Hargreaves nodded in agreement as he readjusted his tie, preparing to go and do battle. "Good emotional support will be vitally important while he's getting help."

"Where will he go and how long do you envisage he'll have to stay?"

"He should be released in about a week if they think he's unlikely to attempt re-harm. He'll be transferred to the psychiatric unit within the hospital probably tomorrow morning."

Ryo looked pained. "I'm right in thinking it's a secure unit?"

"Day patients do attend, but yes, the majority are committed either voluntarily or involuntarily for their own good."

It was impossible to see how things could be any worse until the doctor continued with his next comment. "I'm sorry to have to say this, but because of the nature of your jobs, your commissioner will have to be informed. I know you feel Dee is unlikely to do anything, but we'd be highly irresponsible if we let a man have access to a firearm when he is suspected of self-harm. He'll probably be made to turn in his gun, at least while he's under assessment. And you should ensure that your own gun isn't accessible to him either. It sounds drastic, but it's better to be safe than sorry."

It did sound drastic. Even in the darkest days after Dee had been kidnapped, he had never once thought of his lover as suicidal. Dee always seemed stronger than that.

"Shall we go?" Dr. Hargreaves asked.

Dee was staring out of the window when the two men entered. His expression was difficult to read as he turned – his mouth formed a smile of welcome to his lover, but his eyes held a wariness that he didn't quite trust either of them or what they were about to say. The look intensified as he met Ryo's forced smile.

"Hey, baby. What's up?"

Ryo turned to look at the doctor. This was his show, after all. The medic sensed that Ryo wanted to distance himself from what he was about to say, obviously to try and show Dee that he was on his side.

"Now, Dee, how are you feeling?"

Despite his own question remaining unanswered, Dee nodded. "I feel much better today. I gotta be ready to go home, right?"

Before he answered, Dr. Hargreaves pulled up one of the visitor's chairs, prompting Ryo to copy him. When the two men were seated around Dee's bedside, the medic spoke again. "I'm more than happy with your physical recovery, Dee, but as I expressed to you before, I'm still a little concerned as to how you ended up in such a critical situation in the first place."

Dee's face creased into an angry frown, and he opened his mouth to speak, but the medic had already started talking again. "I appreciate you're certain about the turn of events that took place prior to your admittance here, but surely you can appreciate that things still don't add up."

The look of imminent speech remained on Dee's face, but this time he seemed more resigned to defeat. "I can't explain it," he said flatly before his eyes met the doctor's, communicating his frustration. "But I know what I did."

Dr. Hargreaves was not intimidated by Dee's almost threatening glare. "Indeed, but it is also possible that the mind can play tricks on us, often in times of stress."

"For Christ's sake, I wasn't stre…"

"I'm aware of your recent relationship difficulties and your diagnosis of PTSD. It's documented in your records," Hargreaves added as Dee shot an angry glare at his silent lover. "Which is why I would like you to remain here a little longer, maybe try and answer some unanswered questions. I'm sure you want that too."

He had pitched it the best way he could, but the underlying message was still there, and had clearly been understood by the listener. If Dee's face was the weather, Ryo could tell that an almighty storm was gathering overhead.

"You think I'm crazy, don't you?" It was the calm, detached tone of his voice that unnerved Ryo more than anything at that moment. "You think I've lost my goddamned marbles and now I'm delusional. Well, I'm not. I took my goddamned insulin, just like always. Ask Tyler," he added, directing the last part at Ryo, who looked up quickly.

"I did, Dee," the blond replied almost apologetically, "but she doesn't actually remember seeing you do any of your injections."

Dee was certain that wasn't true, but why would Tyler lie? Without realising, he was staring at Ryo so hard that the other man dropped his eyes under the intense scrutiny. Ryo looked thoroughly miserable, but Dee didn't care. Clearly Ryo thought that there was something in the doctor's comments if he had already checked with Tyler about whether she had seen him do his injections or not.

"So what's the real deal then, Doc?" Dee asked, his voice laced with sarcasm. "You want me to stay here so you can prove I'm crazy?"

"I would like to you undergo psychiatric evaluation here at the hospital," Dr. Hargreaves answered firmly, ignoring the other's biting comment.

"And if I say no? Are you going to commit me?"

"Obviously I would prefer your co-operation…"

"That's not what I asked."

"… but yes, I have the power to commit you involuntarily if need be."

Although he was angry at Ryo, Dee couldn't help but steal a glance at him. The blond looked close to a nervous breakdown, his dark eyes silently pleading with his lover to go quietly. From physical appearance alone, Ryo looked much more in need of psychiatric help than he did. The eye contact was broken as the doctor spoke again.

"I can assure you, Dee that I'd much prefer to do this with your consent. It also reflects much better on you, given the nature of your employment. We can say you have agreed to assessment after recognising that you are under stress – obviously that's a lot less believable if we've had to commit you involuntarily."

Dee frowned. "Fine, whatever," he said darkly. "It's clear I don't have any real say in the matter."

Ryo looked relieved. Dr. Hargreaves simply nodded. "You've made the right decision, Dee. Remember, this is for your benefit."

Emerald eyes rolled dramatically. "Yeah, right. Ain't I the lucky one?"

The doctor chose to ignore the sarcasm. "Well, we'll see about getting you transferred to the unit tomorrow. The sooner you get there, the sooner you can get home." He stood, smoothing out the creases in his pants. "I'll leave you two alone. Good day."

Silence remained until the medic had gone. Ryo reached out for his lover's hand, finding it and squeezing it supportively. He was relieved Dee had taken the doctor's news so well.

"You can go too."

Dark eyes found emerald green ones. The latter resembled the gemstone in more ways than mere colour – they were hard and flat as they glittered in the sunlight and Ryo found it difficult to maintain the eye contact he had made at Dee's unexpected comment.

"What?" He knew he had heard right, but his response was as reflexive as the unplanned meeting of eyes.

"I said you can go."

"Dee, I…"

"You asked Tyler. You asked her if I'd taken my insulin because my word wasn't good enough for you. Why don't you just come out and say that you don't fucking trust me?"

Ryo looked hurt by the comment, but a part of him had to admit that Dee had a point. When had he started to doubt him? When the doctor had pulled him aside and informed him he thought Dee had attempted suicide? Or was it before then, when his blissful life had crashed down around his ears at the news that Dee had been keeping an awful secret from him? Clearly they both knew the answer to that, when Dee responded first.

"Godamnit, Ryo. I was trying to protect you – no, _us_. I didn't want our relationship to become about what happened to me and I guess I was right to worry. Shit, just _look_ at us."

Ryo's blond head ducked. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I truly am, Dee. I want to make things right between us. Just tell me how."

The green impenetrable stare was back. "Just believe me when I say I wasn't trying to kill myself," he stated simply.

Ryo faltered. He should have seen that coming. He knew if he was a character in a movie then his reply would have been immediate, but the facts remained and as a detective by trade, they were simply impossible to ignore.

"I – I believe you…" he started to say, but his hesitation proved fatal. Dee was sharp and intuitive. Sometimes Ryo felt like he could read minds too.

"Forget it, Ryo. I don't want you to say anything you don't mean. I'll see you when I'm out of here. We can talk then."

The dismissal told Ryo that the discussion was now at an end. He hated the way Dee did that, but knew arguing about it was neither productive nor sensible whatever Dee's given state of mind. He stood slowly from the visitor's chair.

"I'd like to come and visit you when you've moved," he said, having made no steps to leave.

Dee turned and fixed him with a crooked grin. "Yeah? Well you'd better ask the staff whether I'm allowed to _have_ visitors. I'm crazy, remember?"

Ryo responded to the sarcastic self-pity with a look that said he didn't think that for a minute, but he knew Dee was in one of his moods, so he wasn't about to say as much. Dee, for his part, clearly didn't think it was funny either as the grin faded, leaving bitter anger in its place.

"Just go."

Reluctantly, Ryo did as he was instructed. Alone in the corridor he took a couple of long breaths to centre himself before he headed for the elevator, unhappy but determined not to lose it within the hospital.

In his room, Dee lowered his head into his hands and began, for not the first time, to try and put this great big fucking mess of a situation into some kind of order. Every time he tried, however, and much like Ryo, he got stuck when he came to 'the facts'. Sure, instinct and gut-feelings played an important part in police work, but they carried with them a certain mystique, escaping the grasp of science, which tried to put everything into neat little boxes. Facts, on the other hand, were concrete; they explained things that rarely could be disputed, and a detective that ignored the facts was just plain stupid. Dee had always figured that he had a good understanding of the need for both, but this time, the facts were letting him down. They were in front of him – 'plain as the nose on your face', he could hear Penguin saying in her scratchy, wise old tones – but that didn't matter.

The facts were _wrong_.

Dee sighed wearily. And if they weren't, then they could just haul him away this fucking instant, because the only remaining explanation was that he really _was_ crazy.

Dusk was descending upon the New York skyline by the time a tired and unhappy Ryo arrived home. A host of faces turned from the TV at the sound of the door opening, Bicky quickly flicking the set onto mute to hear what he had to say. Laura had delivered the news that Dee was awake, but it was clear that she had withheld the doctor's suspicions that Dee was suicidal. Ryo thought she'd have done as much, and so most of his journey back to the apartment had been spent trying to determine how best to explain Dee's continued hospitalisation. In the end, he'd concluded that the truth was best. Bicky and Cal weren't stupid, and if Dee's mental state was an issue then it was only fair they knew prior to him returning home. Besides, they were family.

"How is he?" Laura asked, feeling it was her duty as Dee's so-called friend to enquire about his condition.

Ryo dumped his briefcase, slipped out of his jacket and loosened his tie with one sharp tug. "He's okay. His doctor seems surprised that he's suffered no side effects. The word 'lucky' has turned up in several conversations, although," he continued, glancing at his adoptive son as he spoke and smiling, "everyone is well aware that Bicky's quick thinking was far more important than luck." His smile faded. "I don't even want to think what would have happened if you hadn't gone round, Bicky."

"So when is he coming home?" the blond boy asked, eager to pull Ryo away from the 'what ifs'. Bright, currently pooled awkwardly in his lap, seemed to be asking a similar question with his inquisitive gaze. Cal patted the space on the couch beside her and Ryo obligingly sank into it before he replied.

"Dee's not going to be coming home just yet," he began calmly. "The doctor looking after him wants to run some more tests."

"But I thought you said he was okay?" Bicky commented with a deep frown furrowing his brow. "Why do they need to do more tests?"

Ryo sighed, pointedly ignoring the cowardly voice that told him to lie. "The doctor is worried about how Dee came to be in such a dangerous situation at all. When they said he was lucky, they meant it – lucky to be alive."

"He forgot his insulin?" Cal queried, speaking for the first time since Ryo had gotten home.

"This is the problem," Ryo replied, twisting round to answer her directly. "He would have had to forget several consecutive injections to end up in the state he was found in, which is highly unlikely. As you know, Dee's been following this routine for over twelve months now and I can't believe that he'd suddenly just forget."

There were unanimous nods of agreement. "And anyway, Dee is saying that he didn't miss a single injection," Ryo continued. "Even though the doctor has told him he had negligible amounts of insulin in his body. He couldn't have given himself those injections, but Dee's adamant."

There was a brief silence, which Cal eventually broke. "So what does all this mean, Ryo?"

All this time Laura stayed quiet – she already knew what Ryo was about to say.

"It means that the doctor wants to try and understand what happened. They think Dee's either in denial about not doing his injections or he genuinely believes he did them. Either way, they're reluctant to let him come home until they can get to the bottom of it." He mentioned nothing of the falling out he and Dee had had, instead half-listening as Cal, Bicky and Laura debated this confusing turn of events. It was a comment from Cal that caught and held his attention.

"Has anyone checked his insulin supply that he had a Drake's? Surely that would indicate whether he'd done the injections or not?"

"It's still there," Ryo replied, glancing at Bicky who confirmed with a nod that he had not picked it up when they returned to collect Bright.

"But nobody's touched it since then, have they?" Cal asked.

Ryo thought for a moment and shook his head. "Drake's still away. I guess it wouldn't do any harm to check it out. It could give us some answers, or at least some hard evidence to convince Dee with."

Cal looked pleased that her suggestion had been taken seriously; Bicky and Ryo looked as if they wanted to go now that second. Only Laura didn't have anything to feel enthusiastic about. Cal's suggestion had set heart racing with panic. _Fuck, fuck, fuck._

Ryo was right; no-one had been back. But that was the problem – _she_ hadn't been back. Her original plan had been messed up the moment Bicky had decided to pay an unexpected call on Dee. She'd anticipated that no-one would visit him, angry and disappointed by his no-show for his date with Ryo, and she would be the one to find him dead, or at least dying and beyond help. She could then prepare the scene – dispose of the needles and vials of 'insulin' he had used, their tops punctured indicating that a needle had been inserted and their contents drawn out, and replace them with fresh, untouched containers.

The reason for his death – suicide or accident – hadn't mattered much, so long as he was gone and there was no way that it could be traced back to her. But he'd survived. That was a devastating blow, but at least the circumstances had created havoc within the relationship once again – a kind of consolation prize. That would all be shattered if Ryo returned to Drake's now. In her excitement at her plan, she had gotten sloppy – unable to see past the beautiful image of her and Randy, once Dee was gone and she had helped him through the terrible grieving process. She had left evidence of her crime – not very smart since her intended and her nemesis were both detectives. She had no choice; she had to get back there first.

"Let's go now," Bicky announced, confirming the enthusiasm that, minutes earlier, Laura had seen in his eyes.

"Now?" Ryo replied, although his response wasn't as incredulous as Laura had hoped.

"I agree we should check it out," she interjected, "but surely it can wait 'til morning. You look tired, Randy."

It was true. He looked shattered. Cal, as eager as anyone to see her suggestion followed up, had to agree. "Yeah, she's right, Ryo. You've got Drake's keys. Go tomorrow." Her sentence ended with a stern look in Bicky's direction, warning him not to argue.

"Okay." Ryo smiled, grateful for their concern. "But it'll have to be tomorrow evening. I'm on the early shift tomorrow."

"I could go," Laura commented helpfully, thinking her rescue could come easier than she had anticipated.

"I'll come too."

Laura glanced across at Bicky as he spoke, trying not to convey her annoyance. "Sure, if you want."

"Okay," Ryo agreed. "You go, and if you find anything out, ring me."

Laura and Bicky looked at each other and nodded.

Bicky's wanting to come had left Laura with little choice – she needed to get back to Drake's apartment first, and that would involve a late night excursion once the rest of the household had gone to bed. Unnoticed, except by Bright who watched her curiously from his bed in the kitchen, she slipped out of the apartment and caught a cab to Drake's address.

She was quick and efficient – removing all the used drug paraphernalia and stocking Dee's depleted diabetes kit with fresh vials of insulin, which she had taken from the large stash at home. Once the scene was clear, she locked up and made her way back, discarding the used needles and empty vials that had once contained saline in a dumpster. In total, she was gone an hour. Relief washed over her as she replaced the keys and dropped her now empty bag on the floor.

She headed for the kitchen, ignoring Bright who continued to stare, clearly confused by all the late-night activity, and grabbed herself a drink. She was pouring a glass of orange juice when the creak of a door opening sounded and footsteps approached. It wasn't long before Bicky's sleep-mussed blond head appeared around the doorway.

"Hey, Bicky. I was just getting a drink. Want one?"

The boy shook his head and yawned sleepily. Clearly he had only just woken up. "S'okay. I was just wondering who was up. G'night."

"Night, Bicky," she said with a smile, relieved that he obviously hadn't heard the front door opening and closing.

Bicky shut his bedroom door, but didn't return to bed straightaway. Instead, he remained in the darkness, staring but seeing nothing as his face creased into an unconscious frown. With no ready answer to the thought that had caused the frown, he shook his head and climbed back under the covers. But sleep didn't come quickly as he continued to turn that same thought over in his mind.

_Why had __Tyler__ put her boots on to get a drink from the kitchen?_

TBC…


	14. On the Defensive

**Author's note: Not the longest of chapters, but sometimes it's hard to find a good place to break off. Laura's such a bitch isn't she? Don't worry though, she'll get hers! **

**Anyway, enjoy and please leave a review! -Swordy**

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 13 – On the Defensive

The puzzle had long since evaporated when he awoke in the morning, fresh and filled with hope that they might find some answers. Ryo reiterated that they were to ring him once they had been to Drake's, with news either good or bad. Tyler seemed to share Bicky's enthusiasm – clearly she wanted to help and, like Bicky, had been frustrated that there was nothing they could do up until now.

They rode the subway, chatting amicably together about a range of subjects. Only when talk turned to Dee and Ryo did Bicky grow serious and somewhat defensive about the relationship. He was certain that they would find answers at Drake's that would set the lovers back on a better path. They had, after all, Bicky reminded her, worked hard and overcome plenty to be together. It would be tragic to see the relationship fail now. Laura listened, indicating her supposed agreement, all the while pitying the teen with his unwavering optimism. There were no answers at Drake's – and she couldn't wait to see the look on his face.

After a thorough search of the apartment, Bicky's disappointment was obvious, and it was all Laura could do not to show her delight at his response.

"I don't understand," he kept repeating as he held the unused vials of insulin in his hands. "He only had enough for a couple more days – I know because Ryo told me. He was hoping they would be able to talk when Dee had to come home to get some more. He shouldn't have this much left." He looked up at Laura mournfully. "The doctor must be right – he mustn't have taken any for at least a day, but why would he do that unless he was trying to seriously hurt himself?"

Laura came and sat beside him on the couch, easing her arm around his shoulders. "I'm sorry, Bicky. I know how you wanted it to be."

"Didn't you?" He looked round at her sharply, his expression suspicious.

She responded with a wounded look, jumping back from him as if she had received an electric shock. "'Course I did! Wow, I can't believe you just said that…"

"Sorry."

"Look," she said, her tone placatory. "I've known Dee a lot longer than you. Maybe what he's done seems totally unbelievable to you – I can understand that – he seemed so settled and happy, but well, I know Dee."

"_Seemed_ happy?"

"Bicky, not that I want it to happen for a _minute_, but sometimes relationships break down, even the ones that seem like they were made in Heaven."

She sounded like a teacher. Why was she patronising him? Was this some weird attempt to make him feel better? "Yeah, well, that's up to Dee and Ryo to decide." He stood from the couch. "You ring Ryo and give him the news," he said gloomily. "I'm outta here."

"Where are you going?" she asked, sensing she'd irritated him.

"Dunno," came the reply as he let himself out of Drake's apartment.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ryo had been in the office a mere forty five minutes when he received word that he was wanted in Rose's office. Although unwelcome, he'd anticipated it since Dr. Hargreaves had said he would have to inform the precinct of Dee's situation. With one last baleful look at the mountain of paperwork on his desk, he pushed back his chair and exited the office with the cop who had come to pass on the message.

Ryo entered the commissioner's inner sanctum after his efficient knock was rewarded with an equally efficient 'come in'. Rose was seated behind his imposing mahogany desk and talking on the telephone as Ryo came in. He looked up and gave the detective a brief nod of welcome, and gestured to the empty chair before his eyes returned to a pile of paperwork not dissimilar in size to the one Ryo had just left behind. The office smelled of fresh coffee and bagels – Ryo spotted the latter, half-eaten amongst the files and papers on Rose's desk. The commissioner had clearly taken to having breakfast on the job. Eventually, he ended the call and met Ryo's patient yet wary gaze.

"Detective McLain, I'm sure you know why you're here." His manner was not unfriendly, but it wasn't quite as sympathetic as Ryo had hoped. Rose's hard edges that had been softened by love and a near-death experience had sharpened again now he was back at the helm. It was understandable – some had felt his injuries would hamper his ability to cope with such a high pressure job, so to compensate he worked twice as hard as he had before his assault.

"It's about Dee, right?" Ryo replied with a miniscule grain of hope that he might be wrong.

Rose's reply was preceded by his shuffling through some of the papers on his desk until he located the one he wanted. "I've had a hospital report to say that Detective Dee McLain has been recommended for urgent psychiatric evaluation, following his recent admittance at ER." He finished by reading from the report. "He is currently undergoing evaluation for a stress-related condition, but it would be prudent as his employer to instigate your normal police procedure for when there is concern regarding an individual's personal safety." Rose paused and looked directly at Ryo, conveying his annoyance that the report wasn't more specific. "I'll be doing it anyway, but do _you_ feel it's necessary?"

Ryo thought about it in the intervening silence. In his heart, 'no' was the only answer, but he had to respect the doctor's judgment, and so reluctantly he replied. "I guess it's better to be safe than sorry, Sir."

"You know he'll have to hand over his gun, and will be suspended from active duty, at least until this psychiatric evaluation has been completed?"

Again Ryo nodded.

"Is there anything you'd like to tell me, Detective McLain?"

Ryo shook his head. Although Rose had seemingly blessed their union with the generous gift of the hired limousine on their wedding day, Ryo couldn't help but think that there was still a small part of the commissioner, lurking beneath his steely exterior, that would like to see the relationship fail. Dee would forever be the love rival he had lost to, and the hint of a satisfied smirk was enough to guarantee Ryo's suspicion.

"Detective McLain," Rose said sharply, snapping Ryo out of his reverie. "I'm sure you're well aware, but the procedures the doctor has advised I instigate are usually indicative of a suicide risk. I really would appreciate knowing what's going on."

Rose was surprised to see Ryo's expression grow cold and hard. His eyes, normally the first to hint at the detective's gentle nature, were suddenly impenetrable, and Rose knew he was fighting a losing battle. Seeing Ryo wasn't about to answer, Rose dropped the report into one of his overflowing trays and sighed.

"Very well. You'll be asked to report to Ms. O'Fyre sometime this afternoon, so I suggest you postpone any non-office activities you had planned." He hurried to finish when he saw Ryo's indignant expression. "That of course _is_ standard procedure, Detective McLain."

It was and Ryo knew it. Any officer that worked in partnership was asked to report to the precinct psychiatrist if anything happened to their work colleague, the logic being that they were the best person to offer an insight into their partner's state of mind.

"Very good, Sir," Ryo replied, his lips forming a thin line when he'd finished speaking. "Is that all?"

Rose nodded. "You're dismissed, Detective."

It was shortly after lunch when Jane, Rose's secretary, rang to say that the precinct psychiatrist would be expecting him in her office in ten minutes' time. Jane sounded almost apologetic as she passed on the message and hung up. Delores O'Fyre wasn't the most popular person at the precinct, and not just through the virtue of her job. Indeed, the annual interview every staff member was obliged to sit through with her had long since been dubbed the 'trial by Fyre' due to the general dislike she seemed to feel for those she was employed to support.

For a brief moment as he signed off his last piece of paperwork, Ryo found it impossible to believe that Dee had unburdened himself on his return from England to this disagreeable woman, until he remembered that she had been on a year-long secondment at that time. In her place was a younger, more approachable woman, similar to Polly Andrews, Dee's hospital-appointed counsellor. Shame it was only a secondment, Ryo thought darkly as he passed through an endless series of corridors after riding the elevator up to the sixth floor. He found her office, identified by a brass plate on the door, and knocked briskly.

"Come in."

There she was – same position as always, riding high behind her smooth maple desk, neatly arranged with pen holder, notepad and Thought for the Day desk calendar. A light scent of perfume wafted his way, carried towards him on the breeze that blew in from the slightly open window behind her. As he eased himself into the chair opposite, Ryo idly wondered when he stopped finding the feminine scent of perfume attractive. Nothing moved him like the powerful musky aroma of his lover, and the devilish part of him, longing to have a little fun after spending so long in celibacy while he was strong and sensible, begged him to tell her how much he loved cock – how he'd love to take Dee right here and now on top of her leather-bound diary and calendar that currently proclaimed: _Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them. _That would no doubt wipe the self-important, supercilious smirk off her face – an expression she wore right at that moment as she snapped shut her electronic organiser and gave him her full attention.

"Thank you for coming promptly, Detective McLain."

Ryo nodded, suddenly aware of a file on her desk labelled '_Latener__, Dee_'. She caught the direction of his gaze and offered him what was meant to be a reassuring smile.

"I'm sure you're aware that you're here to talk about your partner."

"Yes," Ryo replied stiffly.

"And obviously this isn't your usual work colleague interview because of your relationship with Detective Latener, but…"

"McLain."

"I'm sorry?"

Steely dark eyes fixed on her irritably. "His name is _McLain_. He changed it last year when we got married." He finished by raising his left hand, palm forwards, so she could see the white gold wedding band on his ring finger.

She smiled indulgently. "Of course. My apologies." She made a show of crossing out and correcting the type-written name on the front of Dee's file. "Now, I wonder if you could tell me whether you were concerned at all about your partner prior to his admittance at hospital."

Through the window behind the psychiatrist, Ryo watched a maintenance man working on a building across from the precinct for a moment before he answered. "You have Dee's file, I'm sure you know all about his past problems."

She ignored the abruptness in his tone. "Did you noticed his work suffering before he was… taken ill?"

Ryo's glare filled the space between them. "No."

It was a clash of strong personalities – one determined to do her job, the other angry and defensive of his lover, despite his anger at the man himself. He was determined to give her as little as possible, and was managing fairly well until she shattered the silence that had descended.

"Are you aware that Detective McLain has admitted to feeling suicidal in the past?"

Ryo couldn't hide his shock. He hadn't wanted to show her any vulnerability, either his own or Dee's, but it was clear that she knew more than him and again, he found himself angry at Dee for keeping him in the dark about things that had gone before.

"I – I didn't know," he admitted, horrified.

To her credit, Delores O'Fyre had the good grace to conceal her pleasure that she had shocked him from his silence. "Detective McLain, as intrusive as this interview may seem, it is with your partner's best interests in mind. I'm sure I don't need to remind you that you do a stressful job, where any errors can be costly to yourself and those you are employed to protect." Her tone was grave. She was not trying to be dramatic.

"I know," Ryo replied quietly, wondering how many more people were going to plant the image of Dee harming himself with his own gun in his mind…

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Bicky strode up to the hospital, not knowing if he would be allowed to see Dee, or even if Dee would want to see him. The receptionist directed him to the third floor and advised him that he would need to report to the reception there to gain admittance to the ward where Dee had been moved. Although Ryo had said the doctors were worried about Dee, Bicky was still surprised to find that he had been directed to a secure unit, where the heavy doors remained closed until a male nurse came to let him through. He was shown to a day room and told to wait there while the nurse went to find Dee.

The unit sounded busy. Several members of staff passed by, some escorting patients, some not. The sun streamed in, splaying light across the clean surfaces, which were surprisingly homely considering it was a hospital. Fresh flowers sat on top of a pine bookcase filled with well-read paperbacks. Only the distant sound of crying reminded the teenager that the unit was inhabited by troubled souls. His thoughts ended abruptly when the door opened and Dee stepped into the room.

Bicky wasn't sure what he was expecting, but the Dee that crossed the room towards him wasn't it. He looked clean and tidy and, well… _sane_. Bicky realised that once he had learned that Dee was in a secure psychiatric unit he had assumed the worst, but Dee didn't look unwell. Only when he sat down opposite, did Bicky notice the tightness in his smile and the dullness in his eyes.

"Hey, Bick, this is a surprise."

The blond boy furnished him with a cheeky grin. "Yeah, well, I was passing…" he replied casually.

Dee smiled, more genuinely this time. "Sure you were. Well, it's good to see you."

Bicky looked surprised, the sentiment clearly authentic. "Has Ryo not been?"

Dee looked down at his hands, wishing he hadn't left his cigarettes in his room. When he spoke, his voice was quiet. "I told him not to come."

"Well that was dumb," Bicky replied, rolling his eyes.

"Hey," Dee said angrily. "You don't know what's going on!"

"Yeah, you're right, because everyone's being so goddamned suspicious. Ryo's doing it; even Tyler's being really weird."

"So why are you here, Bicky?"

The blond boy's response stalled. Why had he come? If he wanted to know more then he could just talk to Ryo, yet Ryo only seemed to want to confide in Tyler – a fact that bothered him although he couldn't say why.

"I just wanna know what's going on."

Dee looked past him, out of the window. "I don't know," he replied truthfully.

Bicky didn't look convinced. "Come on, Dee. You and Ryo… I can't believe you're just falling apart. Think of all the trouble you went to getting him to notice you! There was no way you were giving up then, even though I tried every trick in the book to get you to leave him alone."

Dee smiled despite himself at the memories Bicky's comments evoked. "You were a real little shit back then," he recalled, causing Bicky to grin.

"Yeah, guilty as charged," the teenager replied, with a tinge of pride at his mischief making. "But did it stop you? Hell no! So what gives now?"

Dee's brief good mood evaporated. "I dunno, Bick. Trust me, I don't want it to be like this." He sighed, knowing he was doing nothing to alleviate the boy's frustration. "Ryo's lost faith in me, Bicky. Something happened a long time ago and I didn't tell him. I thought it was for the best, but Ryo was really hurt when he found out. Since then, he thinks I can't be trusted." He paused. "I didn't cheat on him," he added sharply, reading the boy's expression accurately.

"Like I said, I was trying to protect him by not telling him what happened, but I guess it's backfired on me because now, when I really need him to believe me, he won't. Damn it," he muttered, more to himself than his visitor. "Things might be bad between us, but I can't believe he'd think I'd kill myself over it. That's just stupid."

"So you just forgot your insulin?"

For a minute, Bicky thought Dee was about to hit him. The man's scowl intensified and he opened his mouth, most likely to shout, until he seemed to remember where he was and how damaging an outburst might be to his chances of getting out of there soon. His mouth snapped shut as he closed his eyes and sighed deeply, massaging his temples to sooth his irritation.

"I didn't forget. I gave myself my regular injections in the same way I always have. No different. I swear to you, Bicky, on Ryo's life, Penguin's life, _anyone's_. I don't understand why the doctor says I had no insulin in my body, because I did those injections."

The emerald green eyes that met his own only spoke the truth. Bicky was overwhelmed by how obviously important it was for Dee to make someone believe him. His anger at being told again that he must have just forgotten had dissipated, leaving a pleading, desperate need for someone just to take him at his word. _He must be desperate_, Bicky thought to himself, _if he thinks my opinion counts_.

"Shame we can't get Bright to back you up," he said casually, hoping Dee would see the lighter side of the comment, which wasn't intended to offend.

"How is he?"

"Missing you."

Dee sighed again. "You know, I'm almost certain Tyler saw me do at least one of my injections, if not more, but she's saying she didn't. I can't understand why she's not backing me up – we used to be so close."

Dee's own confusion seemed to compound Bicky's unease about what he had witnessed of Tyler's recent actions. Something was wrong. He had no idea what, but things definitely didn't seem to add up, and his instincts told him that Tyler was somehow involved.

"I believe you, Dee."

The comment surprised the detective, who looked up to meet Bicky's serious gaze. When he saw no sign of deception, his features slackened in relief. "Thank you. That means a lot."

His reaction reaffirmed the teenager's belief that he had to do something. "I can't promise anything, Dee, but I'm gonna try and get to the bottom of what's going on."

Dee was about to respond when the day room door opened and a cheerful young nurse walked in.

"There you are, Dee," she said, her voice as bright as her outward appearance. "Lunch is nearly ready so I've come to do your insulin."

Dee made a face, but still rolled his sleeve up to expose his upper arm. He ignored her jovial attempts at conversation as she administered his medication.

"There you go," she said. "All done."

"Great," Dee murmured under his breath as she collected up the equipment she had brought in and headed for the door. She smiled warmly at Bicky as she announced that she would return when lunch was ready.

"What's that about?" Bicky asked once she'd gone.

He recognised a flash of humiliation that passed across Dee's features before it disappeared beneath his frown. "I'm not allowed to do my own injections. Unit rules."

"_What_? Why?"

"Same reason I'm not allowed to go home. Because they think I'll do something stupid."

Bicky's response was heartening. "That's bullshit." He paused, expecting chastisement for the profanity. When it didn't come, he ducked his head trying to make eye contact with his despondent guardian. "Just hang in there, okay?"

He waited for Dee to nod a response before he headed for the door, determined to start gathering some answers, and _fast_.

TBC…


	15. Seeds of Doubt

**Author's note: Sorry for the delay in posting. I'm going through a tough time in my personal life right now so writing has kind of gone on the back burner. I'm still working on this fic (and others) though. Thanks as always for the reviews. -Swordy**

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 14 – Seeds of Doubt

He wasn't the only person searching that morning. Cal had arrived at Dee and Ryo's to find that all the occupants were out. Determined to track Bicky down and find out what had happened over at Drake's she headed for the orphanage, thinking that the teen might have gone there to see some friends that he had made there, since it wasn't far from Drake's place. She didn't find Bicky, but stayed briefly to speak to Penguin, who told Cal of her concerns that she hadn't heard from Dee for a while.

"He's been a little busy," Cal said vaguely, her eyes fixed on a lock of blond hair she held between her fingers as she spoke.

Penguin straightened up from the floor she was polishing and gave the girl a knowing smile. "Is my boy in Ryo's bad books?"

Cal blushed at being found out. "They'll be fine," she replied, not wanting the elderly woman to probe further and find out how serious things had gotten. "I think Tyler's been talking to them both."

Penguin nodded, her smile growing warmer at the mention of the girl's name. "She's a good girl. She and Dee, they were always so close. Dee was so good for her, especially when she decided to come out as a teenager."

It took Cal a moment for the nun's words to register. "Tyler is…?"

"A lesbian? Oh yes, or at least she was at your age." The nun chuckled, mostly to herself. "I know preferences sometimes change with age."

Cal didn't hear the last part. All she could hear, playing crystal clear in her mind, was Tyler's comment to Bicky that she would have 'freaked' about a gay relationship – even someone else's – at his age.

"Well," Penguin said, her voice cutting into Cal's thoughts. "I'll tell Bicky that you're looking for him if he comes around this way."

"Uh, okay… thanks," the pretty teen replied, already making for the door. "Bye, Sister."

"Tell Dee to ring his old mother," the nun called after her, before returning to her polishing with a contented sigh.

Cal was looking at Bicky long before she actually noticed him. She felt guilty about keeping Penguin in the dark about Dee and Ryo but, mostly it was the nun's comment about Tyler that kept her so preoccupied that she almost ran into her boyfriend before she actually realised it was him.

"Hey, Cal," he said, reflecting her surprise that they had just stumbled across each other by chance. He grabbed her hand and pulled her in for a kiss, wondering when the day would come that he would overtake her in height and she wouldn't have to stoop slightly when their lips met.

"Hey, Bick. I've been looking for you for ages. Where've you been?"

"I went to see Dee," he said, somewhat distractedly, looking around as he spoke. "Listen, can we go somewhere to talk?"

"Sure," she replied, unsuccessfully trying to meet his gaze for any clue as to what was wrong before he turned away, expecting her to follow.

The walked in silence past several of their usual hang out spots before Bicky, leading her by the hand, pulled her into a café she was certain neither of them had been to in their lives. She didn't question his choice of location until they had placed their order for drinks from a disinterested-looking waitress.

"I wanted somewhere quiet to talk," he explained, fuelling Cal's curiosity further when he glanced around to check out the other patrons of the café, of which there were very few. Cal seemed to realise that this was instrumental in their coming here and, once their drinks had been served, she asked if her assumption was correct. Bicky replied in the affirmative.

"But why? Don't want us to be overheard or something?" she chuckled.

"No."

Her humour faded. "You're serious, aren't you? Anyone in particular?"

Bicky hesitated for a moment before he replied. "Tyler."

She knew he was watching her response. He seemed relieved that she didn't dismiss him out of hand. "Okay, well d'you want to tell me why? Did something happen when you went to Drake's?"

"No, not then…" He worried the ice cubes in his drink with the straw for a moment. "It's just a few things she's said, I dunno, I just get the feeling that she might have something to do with the weird shit that's been going on around here."

This time he was genuinely surprised when she made no attempt to contradict him. She wasn't going to – her own musings about Tyler following Penguin's comment had yielded several inconsistencies that, now she gave it greater thought, added up to a whole lot of weirdness.

"What's worrying you?" she asked, conveying that she wanted him to tell her everything. Bicky tugged at a stray lock of hair that immediately sprang back into place the moment he let it go. "I dunno, some of it's hard to explain. It's just the way she is around Dee and Ryo. She goes really weird whenever they hug and stuff, yet she says she's really happy they're together."

"I remember a time when you didn't like seeing them together," Cal commented, playing Devil's advocate.

Bicky made a face. "That's when I thought Dee just wanted to get Ryo into bed."

Cal smiled, knowing it was true. "Okay, what else?"

"When Dee left and I asked her to go and speak to him to try and talk some sense into him, I dunno, I just felt like she didn't want to, and she's always really negative about their relationship."

"How?"

"She talks like they've already decided to split up."

"Maybe she thinks she's just trying to be realistic?"

"Pessimistic, more like it," Bicky replied with a snort. "You wanna hear her, Cal, she's already written them off, I swear!"

"Maybe she's a little jealous that Dee's got someone now, and it's not just him and her anymore."

Bicky contemplated this, frowned, and then shook his head. "But she's really nice to Ryo." His frown deepened. "In fact, she's probably nicer to Ryo than she is to Dee. It doesn't make sense."

Cal's own consideration of this situation brought her to a similar conclusion – Tyler did seem to get on better with Ryo than Dee.

"She also doesn't seem very upset that Dee's locked up in some loony bin. I don't see her going to visit him, do you?"

His anger surprised her. "How is he?"

Bicky looked up from his drink and met her gaze. "He's really miserable. He's stuck in that place with a load of crazy people, being talked to like he's a child." He snorted at the memory. "They don't even trust him to do his own insulin, like he's gonna flip and stab them with his needle!"

Cal looked shocked by the news. "Surely not?"

"Yeah, well. Rules are rules apparently."

"No wonder he's miserable," she said, returning to her own drink. She gulped down a large mouthful before she continued. "Are you gonna tell Ryo that you've been to see Dee?"

"I dunno. What d'you think?"

She thought about it while twisting the ring on her finger, one that Bicky had bought her. "I'd tell him you've been – maybe it'll persuade him to visit, despite what Dee says, but I'd keep your suspicions about Tyler between us for now. She's being such a good support to him, I doubt he'd believe you."

"I know," Bicky agreed gloomily. "But there's definitely something going on – I haven't told you the weirdest thing yet."

"Go on."

"Last night, I heard someone moving around. It was three am, so I got up to check it out. She was up getting a drink from the kitchen…."

"So?"

"She had her boots on – come to think of it, she was fully dressed. Why would she have gotten dressed to go to the kitchen in the middle of the night?"

Cal had to admit it was an action that she could not readily explain. Her silence however, mistakenly told Bicky that she was having a hard time believing him.

"You think I'm jumping to conclusions?" he asked, although it came out more like a statement.

"No, no," Cal hastened to say. "You've always had good instincts, Bick, and I believe you. I was just thinking about something Mother Maria said this morning." She explained how she had gone looking for him at the orphanage and ended up chatting to the elderly nun. "She was singing Dee's praises as usual and saying how good he was for Tyler, particularly when she realised that she was gay."

The blond boy's eyes widened. "She's…?"

"Yeah, apparently so. Mother Maria said she came out as a teenager. Dee was good for her because he'd already told everyone he was bi and was happy with who he was."

"Wow, I'd never have guessed," Bicky mused. Cal quickly realised he'd missed the point.

"Do you not remember when Dee and Ryo were in England?" she asked, trying to evoke the memory that had stuck in her mind when she had learned this surprising piece of information. "She said she was glad that you were so cool about Dee and Ryo because she'd have freaked…"

"At my age." Bicky finished the sentence, now realising why Cal had brought it up.

"Exactly," the girl said, nodding.

Bicky pushed his now empty glass away from him and glared at it as if it were responsible for all the recent problems. "Why would she say that?" he thought out loud.

Cal shrugged. "Dunno. I thought it was a little strange. It's almost like she's a different person from the Tyler Dee knew when he was younger."

It was Bicky's turn to nod his agreement. "Well, we need to get to the bottom of this," he said gravely, "because if Ryo's believing Tyler, then we're about the only friends Dee's got."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ryo picked up his briefcase and slid several case files into it before snapping the catches shut and reaching for his jacket. The day was dragging - he'd been to visit the family of the man found murdered in the alleyway to inform them that an arrest had been made. He was doing well to keep his mind on work until the victim's elderly mother had asked him where the handsome dark-haired man was that had been with him last time. Muttering a vague comment about him being ill, he'd retreated to the safety of his car and returned to the precinct. He was about to leave the office to do another house call when the door opened, bringing him face to face with Drake, freshly returned from his out of state investigation.

"Drake, good to have you back."

"Hey, McLain," the other detective said with a beaming smile of welcome. "How's things?"

"Fine," Ryo replied, forcing the most unnatural smile he'd ever attempted onto his face. It didn't last long. "Actually, they're terrible."

Drake had had a feeling that something was amiss when he'd received the call to say Dee was no longer at his apartment. He'd presumed of course that it was because the lovers had reconciled their differences, but the slightly flat note in Ryo's voice on the answer machine had made him suspect different. He'd thought he was being paranoid – but clearly not.

"Why, what's up?"

Ryo glanced at his watch, knowing that in order to make it on time to his visit, he would have to leave now to beat the downtown traffic. "I gotta go. Are you free tonight? We could go for a drink."

Drake knew there was more required than alcohol in Ryo's request. "Sure, buddy."

"Okay. I'll talk to you later to make plans."

"Okay, great." Drake unblocked the doorway to let him past, only then becoming aware of the fact that Dee wasn't with him. But Ryo was quickly disappearing down the stairs and besides, Drake sensed that it wasn't a good time to ask.

Ryo arrived home to find a note from Bicky stating that he and Cal would be out for the evening. The wearied detective was relieved to find that they had walked Bright before they had gone out, leaving him one less job to do. Dee's canine companion had been noticeably quiet in his master's absence and twice, Ryo had had to remove items of Dee's clothing that the dog had secreted into his bed, as if the scent offered him some glimmer of hope that Dee hadn't left him permanently.

After further examination Ryo found that all the chores he had anticipated having to do had been done; a fact confirmed when Tyler emerged from the bathroom carrying a box of cleaning products. She offered Ryo a warm smile.

"I found your list," she said sheepishly, referring to the chores Ryo had written out for himself.

He blushed as he responded. "Hey, I didn't write them down so you'd do them for me."

She chuckled and unpinned her hair, letting the auburn locks frame her face. "I know you didn't, but I did it so you could relax. Now I want you to take it easy. I'm just gonna nip to the grocery store to get the last couple of ingredients for tonight's dinner."

Ryo smiled at the thought of not having to cook either. "Bicky's out."

"I know. Guess it's just you and me," she said happily. "Now relax! That's an order." She grabbed her purse and was almost to the door when he stopped her.

"Tyler?"

She turned at the sound of her name. "What?"

"Thanks, for everything I mean. I don't know what I've have done without you lately."

She smiled, hoping the exhilaration didn't show on her face. "I'll be right back," she said, leaving him alone in the apartment.

No sooner had she left when Ryo's cell phone rang in his jacket pocket. "So much for relaxing," he murmured before he checked the caller ID and saw Drake's name. "Hey Drake, still up for that drink?"

"Definitely," came the slightly crackled reply. "Listen; my sister is calling to bring me her keys so that I can watch her apartment while she's on vacation. She only lives a block away from you, so she says she'll pick you up on her way past."

"You sure?" Ryo asked, thinking of Drake's gregarious older sister. "I don't want to put her out."

"Trust me, you won't. You know she's got a soft spot for you. She asked can you be waiting outside at eight."

"Okay, great. See you later."

The call ended and Ryo allowed himself to fall backwards onto the couch, tired, but also glad that he was going out to he could talk with Drake. He'd all but dozed off when a key sounded in the lock, signifying Tyler's return.

"Don't you move," she said, smiling as if she'd never stopped when she saw him lying on the couch. "I'll call you when dinner's ready."

She did just that, and Ryo found that she had prepared a wonderful meal of seafood pasta and fresh salad. She wouldn't hear of his attempts to reimburse her when she produced a bottle of expensive white wine.

"And don't worry about the washing up," she announced as she began to clear away the plates. "You go and get comfy on the couch. I rented us that movie you wanted to see…"

Her voice trailed off at the look on his face. "I'm so sorry, Tyler," he said, genuinely apologetic. "I'm already going out later. Did I forget to tell you?"

Her acting knew no limits as she smiled casually. "Oh, it's okay. It's my fault. I should have asked you first."

He looked relieved that she seemed to understand. "We can watch it tomorrow. I'll pay the late return fine at the rental store. Thanks for dinner though. You really are an angel."

He stepped forward and kissed her gently on the cheek, before leaving the room to go get showered and changed. Once he had gone, she allowed her façade to slip. She was angry that he was going out without telling her, but ecstatic and light-headed from the kiss. 'An Angel' he had called her. _An Angel_. That easily cancelled out her annoyance.

She was reading a magazine when he emerged from his bedroom at ten to eight. She looked up from the article she was skimming and smiled, after appraising the image before her.

"You look nice."

Ryo smiled gratefully at the polite compliment. He was so used to Dee and his way of doing things. Dee's compliments often involved feverish kisses or a quick grope after he had told his lover how hot he looked. Ryo was by no means adverse to this show of desire and admiration – Dee's attentions always did wonders for his ego. Immersed in his more pleasurable thoughts of his lover, Ryo didn't realise Tyler had spoken until he caught her expectant gaze.

"Sorry, I was a million miles away then."

"I said, are you going anywhere nice?"

Ryo checked his watch. "Just out for a drink with a friend. I'd better go. I'm being picked up at outside." He smiled as he headed for the door. "Don't wait up."

She turned back to her magazine once he'd gone, before curiosity got the better of her and she moved to the doors that opened out onto the balcony. Glancing over the edge, she waited a couple of minutes before Ryo appeared on the street below. She watched as he waved and quickly crossed the street to where a car was idling on the opposite kerb. The driver was out of the vehicle, also waiting, and waved back when Ryo came into view.

"What the…?" Laura started to say under her breath, aware of her anger rising within her. Down below, Ryo was in the arms of a woman; long, dark hair cascading down her back as she hugged him enthusiastically. Ryo seemed to be returning the embrace, and once it was at an end, he climbed into the passenger seat of the woman's car and the two drove off together.

"No!" she yelled, moving back inside the apartment and slamming the door behind her. Her eyes flashed murderously. "I won't let you betray me, Randy! You're mine!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Drake's sister dropped Ryo off at her brother's apartment, staying briefly to hand over her keys and chat to the two men. Clearly she had been primed before the event, as never once did she mention Dee. Ryo couldn't resist a chuckle once she'd gone.

"Sandra sure does talk a lot," he observed, accepting the beer Drake gave him, after they had decided to have one at the apartment before they went out.

"Well, she gets all silly and girly in your handsome presence. She was depressed for a week when she found out you were gay and a _month _when you got married."

Ryo didn't reply, the comment bringing bittersweet memories with it. Their wedding day and how happy they had been seemed a lifetime away.

"So how was Pittsburgh?" he asked eventually.

His companion rolled his eyes in response. "Pretty depressing. The guys we've been working with have got a couple more murders they're ready to pin on Anderson. It's turning into one goddamned complicated investigation, but at least he's certain not to evade the death penalty this time."

Ryo nodded, knowing how much time Drake and JJ had spent on the case. He'd missed having the two men around the office, especially recently when he was without Dee.

"So how are your cases going?" Drake asked, sensing Ryo wasn't ready to talk about him and Dee just yet.

"Okay," Ryo replied, after a long drink of his beer. "Things have gone quiet at the moment. Although that's probably a good thing," he added, smiling humourlessly.

That was the opening Drake needed. "Want to talk about it?" he asked. He watched as the blond carefully set his beer on the table and studied his now empty hands. When he looked up to meet Drake's expectant gaze, his unhappiness was obvious.

"A lot's happened while you've been gone," he said, knowing that was a huge understatement as he started to explain everything that had taken place since Drake had left Dee living in his apartment. Drake listened in silence, never once verbally communicating his shock or disbelief at what he was told, although his expression spoke volumes about his feelings on the subject. Only when Ryo had finished did he ask any questions.

"Deep down, do you believe the doctor's theory, Ryo?"

"I don't know what to believe any more," the blond replied, pushing his hair back off his face with both hands.

"Don't you trust him?"

Ryo stalled. Drake seemed… annoyed? Surprised? Disappointed? He obviously found it hard to believe that he wasn't taking Dee's word for it, but how could he let him know that he had good reason for doubting Dee?

"I'm sorry, Drake."

"Don't apologise," the other man said quickly. "You obviously know more about what's going on. It's just… Suicide just doesn't sound like Dee and I've known him a long time, you know?"

Ryo's only reply was an almost imperceptible nod of the head. Everyone seemed to be saying that to him, somehow implying that their knowledge of Dee was greater than his. He'd thought that knowing Dee intimately for the past few years would count for something, but the fact that those around him kept reminding him of the longevity of their friendship with Dee made him wonder if he really knew his husband at all.

"You ain't thinking it's over between you, are you?" Drake's voice broke the silence that had started to stretch on. The question hung in the air for several moments more before Ryo dared trust his voice to answer.

"I – I don't know. I still love him, Drake, but so much has come between us recently – I wish I could tell you so you'd understand that I don't want things to be like this, but I – I…" His voice dissolved with his determination not to break down. Drake stood and moved across to where Ryo was sitting and placed his hand supportively on Ryo's shaking shoulder.

The blond hastily wiped away a tear before looking up at his friend gratefully. "I'm sorry, Drake. I didn't want to burden you like this. I just needed someone to talk to."

"Hey, we're friends, right?"

He'd barely finished speaking when the phone started to ring. He glanced at Ryo apologetically before he went to answer it.

"What? Really? No shit…" The fractured conversation at Drake's end gave Ryo no indication of who his friend and colleague was talking to, but he correctly guessed it was work-related when Drake ended the call with: "I'll be right there."

Ryo hurriedly composed himself, realising their heart to heart was about to come to an abrupt end. He suddenly felt awkward and foolish with his emotions on show. "I'll go," he said, standing quickly as Drake came back into the room. "I'd kinda gone off the idea of going out anyway."

Drake ran a hand through his hair, unhappy that he was running out on Ryo when he clearly needed to talk. "I'm really sorry, Ryo. That was one of the wardens at Sing Sing. Waylan Anderson wants to make a deal – drop the death penalty and he'll reveal the location of some of his victim's bodies that were never found. He wants to talk now."

Despite the man's obvious regret, Ryo could see the electric thrill of anticipation in his eyes. This was a big breakthrough on an even bigger case. He couldn't blame Drake for feeling so eager.

"No problem. It's great news. You deserve this break."

Drake grinned. "I gotta call JJ. He's not gonna believe it."

Ryo left quickly, sensing Drake's mind was quite rightly elsewhere. He caught a cab home, the silence allowing him time to contemplate his confusing emotions. While he'd been at Drake's it had started to rain and the streets were empty as a result.

There was no one around as he made his way up to his apartment, almost overwhelmed by an acute feeling of loneliness. Bicky would still be out since he was home earlier than expected, although Tyler would hopefully be there, sparing him the agony of returning to an empty apartment. She was still up when he entered, but unusually she didn't turn and greet him, instead offering him only a cursory glance and a flat-sounding 'hello'. Bright trotted in from the kitchen, wagging his stump of a tail, sensing but not understanding Tyler's coldness. Ryo almost wept at the dog's genuine gesture of welcome.

"You're home early," she commented, never looking up from her book as she spoke.

"Uh, yeah, Drake got called out – work stuff."

"You were out with Drake?" It was a question, but the flatness of her intonation made it more of a statement – one that she sounded doubtful of its truth.

"Yeah, sorry, didn't I say I was meeting Drake?"

"No you didn't."

He was taken aback by the forcefulness of her response. She sounded like a school teacher chastising a naughty child. The moment suddenly felt awkward and Ryo wasn't sure what to say as he stood, coat over one arm, his other hand resting lightly on Bright's soft head.

"Well, I think I'll get to bed." He started to walk to the bedroom and had reached the door when impulsively he turned and signalled for the dog to come to him.

"He can stay with me tonight," he said, partly to answer Tyler's now questioning gaze. Her nod was enough for him to ascertain that she wasn't about to comment or ask why, so he bid her goodnight and closed the door once he and Bright were inside the room.

He wondered what Dee would think if he knew that for the first time ever, he had allowed Bright onto their bed. He was always the disciplinarian; the one that looked disapprovingly when Dee permitted his canine friend into the territory that they had agreed was out of bounds. Even though he would always have that role in the dog's eyes, Bright settled happily into the space beside him, as if being close to him was almost as good as being close to Dee. Eager to occupy his brain with thoughts other than his unhappiness, he delved into his book, reading for almost a solid hour as his other hand lazily stroked Bright's velvety back, the dog making contented grunting noises every so often.

When his eyes grew heavy, he reached across for his bookmark, only then pausing to study the photograph he used to identify where he was in his book. His eyes flicked between him and Dee smiling happily for the camera, a lump forming in his throat. He covered his face, stifling a sob that woke Bright who turned and looked at him curiously. Confused by the strange noises the man was making, Bright crawled up the bed and tried to lick Ryo's face in between his fingers. His frantic attempts made Ryo laugh through his tears, and he rewarded the dog with an enthusiastic hug.

"You're not quite Dee," he said as the dog settled back down beside him. "But you're the closest thing I've got right now." The dog cocked his head, showing that he was listening. "I guess I'm kinda like the consolation prize for you, right?" Ryo continued as he flicked off his bedside light and rested his hand once more on the dog's body as they lay in the darkness together. "You want Dee back here too, huh? Well, for now, you'll have to make do with me and I'll have to make do with you."

It was something of a depressing thought.

TBC…


	16. Luck of the Devil

**Author's note – Sorry to keep you waiting so long.**** A new four-legged addition to our household has been keeping me away from the computer! If you didn't hate Laura before, I'm sure you will by the end of this chapter…**

**Thanks as always to Peacewish, and to all you reviewers. I'm not sure you'll like this chapter, but I hope it entertains you none the less. Much love - Swordy**

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 15 – Luck of the Devil

Two days passed and time seemed to race and yet stand still. As Ryo sat drinking a cup of tea before he left for work, he couldn't help but ponder how fractured his family had become. Dee was in the hospital and Bicky, if it were possible, had become even more of a typical teenager with his growing reticence about his activities. Even Tyler, who had seemed such a welcome addition to their family, appeared to have grown distant over the last couple of days, and Ryo couldn't help but think that he'd somehow offended her. He figured she must be upset about Dee – maybe she even blamed him for his lover's current predicament. Yet she had seemed so happy the other day…

A small smile crept onto his lips. He'd never been very good at understanding the female psyche. Times like this, he was glad he was gay - not that that came with any fewer problems, he thought dryly as he drained the last of his tea and collected his briefcase.

He met Bicky, who was leaving his bedroom, as he shrugged into his jacket once his shoulder holster was in place. Bright was hot on the teenager's heels. He wagged his tail at Ryo, but his joie de vivre seemed tempered and probably would remain that way until Dee returned.

"You going to see Dee today?" the blond teen asked, patting the dog's muscular back affectionately. He was rewarded with several loving licks of his outstretched fingers.

"I don't know," Ryo replied vaguely, sweeping a hand through his dark blond hair. "Things are complicated, Bicky, you know?"

"Sure they are," the boy said, annoyed at what he saw as Ryo's attempts to patronise him. "I'm taking Bright out." He hurried past Ryo, grabbing the dog's leash and his keys off the side.

"Bicky…"

"Later, Ryo."

And then he was gone. With a weary sigh, Ryo picked up his briefcase and followed him out of the apartment, certain that even if he caught up with his adoptive son, the boy would not talk to him.

_Everyone seems angry with me_, he thought as he stood waiting for the elevator to stop at his floor, only just barely curbing the urge to return to the apartment and climb back into bed where he could hide from the rest of the world, at least for one day.

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"Thanks," JJ said, accepting the Styrofoam cup of coffee gratefully when Drake handed it to him. With his right hand now free, Drake removed the paper bag he had been gripping between his teeth and placed it on the low brick wall, next to his own drink. Steam from the freshly made coffee mingled into the damp morning air as he busied himself with the bag, smiling as his eyes sought out the contents.

"You'll never get a date if you keep stuffing your face with those," JJ remarked, nodding his head over the rim of his cup at the donut Drake was busy removing from its packaging.

"Oh that's right, rub it in," Drake replied, making a face at his partner. "How was your date anyway?"

JJ stared out at the small boat anchored at the edge of the river where the police divers were preparing to go overboard yet again into the uninviting waters. "Cute, smart, funny."

"You get laid?"

It was the younger man's turn to make a face. "What kind of question is that?"

"That's a yes then?"

JJ inclined his head towards the water. "They're going in."

Drake chuckled at his partner's evasion as he watched the divers disappear beneath the murky depths. "Reckon they'll find anything?"

JJ shrugged as he pulled the collar of his jacket up against the bracing wind. "This is one of the spots Anderson described. We'll soon find out if he's telling the truth or not."

There was a sombre moment of silence as each man contemplated their feelings should the gloomy waters of the Hudson River reveal their tragic secrets. Waylan Anderson, the man quickly earning himself the right to be referred to as a serial killer as a result of his activities over the last twenty years, had been granted a reprieve from the death penalty by furnishing detectives Parker and Adams with a list of locations where his victims could hopefully still be found. The first, a woodland area outside West Hills, had yielded nothing, although Anderson had been admittedly uncertain about an exact location there. This second site, he had been able to give more specific details about, giving the two coordinating this grim investigation greater hope that their searches would not all be in vain. After this, they had five other places to check out.

A small group of onlookers had assembled behind the police cordon, eager to know the reason for the buzz of activity this early in the morning. The two detectives leading the operation suspected there might be a couple of journalists in the crowd, but so far no one had shouted any questions. It would be unlikely to stay that way, but ignoring even the most persistent of reporters had become second nature over the years.

JJ turned to study the group, bemused by how they could stay there in the cold when they weren't obliged to be there like he was. Some had been there nearly as long as him and Drake and the other officers – over four hours in the cold. He let his mind wander from work for a few minutes, making the pleasant trip into his memories of the previous evening, to his dinner date with the man he had met on the normally boring lunch-run to the deli near the precinct. He was smart and funny, just like he had told Drake, and like the icing on an already attractive cake, he had a look of Jai from 'Queer Eye'. The evening had ended with nothing more than coffee and a kiss, but Drake's suggestion of intimacy would hopefully be something for the future.

"Thinking about your new fancy man?"

"No," JJ replied, a little too sharply. The blush that stained his cheeks made Drake laugh. "Well at least I wasn't home with a TV dinner and a copy of Playboy as my only source of romantic entertainment."

"Ah, so you _did_ get laid?" he said, wadding up the now empty donut bag and shoving it into his pocket. "Anyway, I wasn't home last night either."

"No?"

"I went to see Dee."

JJ's attention turned from watching the water to his partner. Even though he hadn't seen much of Dee or Ryo over the last few weeks, Drake had filled him in on all that had gone on, and where Dee was right at that moment.

"How is he?"

The question required a moment's contemplation. "He's okay. I can't understand why he's in there, hell, _he _can't understand why he's there. More than anything, he's bored. He's says there's only so many times you can play checkers before you want to throw the board out the window and flush the pieces down the john."

JJ smiled, knowing that sounded like Dee. He'd long since accepted that his love for the other man would forever be unrequited, but he would always care deeply for him and had been horrified to learn of Dee's incarceration. Fortunately Drake seemed to be telling the truth when he said Dee seemed okay.

"So what about Ryo? How's he?"

Drake made a puzzled face. "I dunno. He's harder to read. He's obviously devastated by what's happened, but he won't go and see Dee. I swear something's happened between them – but neither of them will talk about it."

His frustration was obvious and JJ felt the need to reassure him. "They'll be okay. Those two… they were obviously meant to be together. They'll work it out."

Drake grinned suddenly. "The odd couple, you used to call them."

"And I stand by it," JJ replied, somewhat indignant that Drake was making fun of his earlier jealousy-motivated observations. "I guess it's the old 'opposites attract' cliché. They're polar opposites, but it works."

"I hear you."

"Come on," JJ said nodding to the police diver who was waving them over as the boat glided towards the land. "I think they're done. Let's go and see what they've got for us."

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Dee lay back on his bed and stared unblinking at a space on the ceiling. The bed was hard – warm and clean, but not comfortable. He thought of the bed he shared with Ryo – how inviting it always seemed, particularly when his lover's warm body was waiting for him under the covers.

He sighed in the semi-darkness, weary but not tired. The entire day had proved to be much like any other over the past week – a barrage of questions on everything, from his childhood, to his job and his relationship with Ryo. He'd answered everything they asked and he knew they were puzzled by how calm and open he was. The only reason he was still there was his insistence that he hadn't tried to kill himself almost a week ago. A week – had it really been that long?

Realising they had reached a stalemate, he had started to relent – letting them think that he had just been in denial, but now could admit the truth. It was a lie of course, but all of a sudden they seemed satisfied that he wasn't going to harm himself again. Indeed, during his afternoon session they'd mentioned allowing him to leave, maybe as early as tomorrow. He knew that information should make him happy, but the ongoing situation with Ryo quickly killed any joy that his impending release might create. They hadn't spoken since the day he had been committed and he had asked Ryo to leave.

Bicky's visit had been a surprise, but a very welcome one. He'd sensed the boy was dissatisfied with the rift in his home situation and wanted to do something about it, but more importantly he seemed to believe that he, Dee, hadn't tried to kill himself. The blond teen told him to 'hang in there' indicating that he had some kind of plan in mind, but hadn't returned, nor had he convinced Ryo to come and visit either. Maybe investing his hopes in a fourteen year-old had been a bit ambitious.

His thoughts were scrambled by a shout from an adjacent room. Tobey, a fellow detainee, was demanding that he be let out, his shouts echoing down the corridor at least once or twice every ten minutes or so. During a game of cards earlier in the week Tobey had explained that he had manic depression and had committed himself a couple of weeks ago. Over the last day or so, Dee had noticed Tobey becoming increasingly restless, culminating in their bizarre conversation where he announced to the bemused detective that he had devised a filter system for tropical fish that would enable them to live forever. He had several thousand dollars in a savings account, all of which he was prepared to use to fund his clearly insane innovation.

Dee had later mentioned their conversation to a nurse who had explained that this was the manic component of Tobey's condition – and the reason Tobey had requested he be committed. He had become good at understanding when a manic episode was almost upon him, putting him in danger of risking his finances, and sometimes his life, for some ridiculous whim. His foresight counted for nothing at present when, gripped in the excitement of his current preoccupation, he was demanding he be let out so he could decimate his savings on the necessary equipment. It didn't seem to matter that he had _asked_ them to ignore his pleas or that it was past midnight and everyone else was in bed, trying to sleep.

_Shut up_, Dee thought as Tobey complained yet again, this time accompanying his indignant request with several heavy blows to his locked door. Anytime now, the nurses would come around to stop his increasingly frenzied behaviour. Dee's immediate instinct was to reach for a cigarette to settle and calm him. His hand had reached the packet when he remembered that he wasn't allowed to smoke in his room and he tossed them away in frustration. Even if he could, he had no means to light one, with matches and lighters not permitted in the bedrooms, due to the temptation they held for some of setting fire to their furniture as a means of escape.

"Fuck," he growled as Tobey started again. Further down the corridor someone else shouted: "For Christ's sake, Tobey, shut up!"

The nurses were on the corridor now, two or three of them by the sounds of it adding to the noise as Tobey continued to complain, while the other unit residents complained about him. Dee closed his eyes and massaged his temples, suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to make peace with Ryo and get out of this place. Hearing the suffering around him made him determined to seize his dwindling chance of happiness.

He grabbed his phone and dialled Ryo's cell. He knew the other man would have it switched off at such a late hour but that was what he wanted – leaving a message felt easier than speaking to his lover in person. The ball would be back in Ryo's court then.

He listened as it rang just once before transferring to Ryo's voicemail, the blond's gentle tones helping to filter out the noise going on around him. All too soon, the beep was upon him, prompting him to start his message.

"Uh, Ryo… It's me. I miss you… and I want us to talk. I know things haven't been good between us and I'm sorry. I love you and I want to try and make things right if you do too. I'm gonna be out of here, maybe tomorrow, and… I'd like to come home, but only if you want that too. So I guess what I'm saying is, I'm leaving it up to you. If you'll take me back." He paused as his voice wavered slightly with emotion. "I love you, Ryo. I hope it's not too late. If you don't reply then I'll assume that it is and I won't call you again. Drake will probably let me stay at his. I'll – I'll understand if you think it's too late. I hope you'll reply but I'll understand if you don't."

He ended the rambling message but continued to clutch his phone as his emotions slowly settled back into the numbness he had grown used to over the past week. It was up to Ryo now – all he could do was wait – and hope.

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Dee knew Ryo would get the message. His lover was as regular as clockwork with his cell. He always ensured that it was sufficiently charged, turned it on as he woke up and off when he went to bed. The following day, the blond did just that, turning the device on as he wandered into the kitchen almost ready to leave for work. Laura was eating some cereal and reading the paper. She smiled as he entered, her previous shortness with him having passed.

"Do you want some tea?" she asked, setting down the paper in preparation to serve him.

"That'd be great," he replied, throwing a banana and an apple into his briefcase as a plaintive cry drifted in from the other end of the apartment.

"Ryooooooooooo!"

The detective set his belongings on the table and stuck his head around the kitchen door. "What, Bicky?"

"I think I left my schoolbag in your car last night."

Ryo looked back at Laura and rolled his eyes. "Well you know where the car is," he shouted in reply.

"But I'm gonna be late! I'm in the shower!"

Ryo sighed and shook his head as he snatched up his car keys. "Hold the tea," he said to Laura as he left the kitchen.

Almost as soon as he'd gone, his cell started to ring. Laura jumped up with it in her hand, having expected Ryo to have heard it, but the front door was already closed. She looked at the caller ID to see that it was an incoming voice message. Checking she could still hear the shower running, she pressed the answer button and put the handset to her ear.

The emotion in the speaker's voice was obvious as she listened to the message, at the same time keeping her eyes open for either Ryo or Bicky. The robotic voice before the message had informed her that it was new and that it had been left just after midnight – a heartfelt telephone confession and plea for forgiveness left in the dead of night. Her expression as she listened remained impassive – his speech didn't move her, but she knew that it would move Ryo, _if_ of course, he got to hear it. When she reached the part where Dee said he would assume the relationship was over if Ryo didn't reply, she felt a small stab of hope. He'd given her the answer. It was as simple as pressing delete.

She'd barely replaced the phone and picked up the newspaper when Ryo returned, carrying Bicky's schoolbag, which he deposited by the front door. He smiled as he came back into the kitchen.

"Don't worry about the tea," he said, grabbing his briefcase and jacket. "I'll get some at the precinct."

She returned the friendly gesture, her heart pounding with exhilaration at almost being caught. "Okay… and Ryo? Don't forget your phone," she added, seeing that he was about to leave without it.

His smile grew broader as he took it from her outstretched hand. "You'd make a great secretary."

She chuckled as he went out, only once the door was safely closed did she slump back into her seat and let the adrenaline rush overwhelm her. "Close call," she muttered, fanning herself with the newspaper.

"What was?" Bicky asked, suddenly appearing around the corner.

It was inevitable that she jumped, the boy's unexpected entrance startling her. "Shit, Bicky, you scared me then!" she grinned, trying to convey that she had nothing to hide. "I almost knocked my juice over with the paper, but I caught it just in time."

The blond boy nodded but didn't share her humour. She'd noticed his mounting coolness towards her over the last few days. She'd figured that it stemmed from their excursion to Drake's, when he'd been so confident that they'd find answers there. _Sulky brat, get over yourself_.

Bicky grabbed a can of soda from the refrigerator, all the while staring at the back of the girl's head. She seemed unaware of the half-suspicious, half-daggers look he was giving her. His dislike intensified as she giggled at the funnies in the newspaper. She almost seemed immune to the misery that was currently pervading the rest of the household. Dee and Ryo had been happy, healthy and in love until she showed up. Surely that wasn't just coincidence? On top of his general dissatisfaction with her continued presence in their lives was a niggling, unwavering feeling that he had overlooked something that might answer some questions about why he didn't trust her; something that he could present to Ryo to make him as suspicious as he and Cal were.

"Going to school," he muttered, giving Bright a more affectionate farewell as he grabbed his bag and headed out.

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By lunchtime Dee had decided that Ryo was not going to call. He had woken in a more optimistic mood now that he had made the first move and offered the olive branch, but as the minutes turned to hours with no word from his lover, he gradually grew more despondent. It was too late – Ryo obviously didn't want to try again. He would have to live with the knowledge that his truce had come too late, and although he wanted to ring Ryo and find out why, he was determined to cling to the vestiges of his pride by not calling as he said he would.

"Well, Mr McLain," the male psychiatrist said as he sat back in his sumptuous leather throne, tented his fingers and smiled at Dee sitting across from him in a slightly less impressive chair. "I'm satisfied that you no longer pose a threat to yourself."

In the pause Dee had to stop himself from snorting a sarcastic response. He'd quickly found himself playing the game – pretending to agree that they were helping him, telling them what they wanted to hear, and it had brought him to this: freedom. Unlike begging Ryo for another chance, it was worth the injury to his pride.

"I'd like you to attend once a week for the next few weeks, then I'm sure I'll be happy to discharge you. If you make all of those appointments, I'm confident that I'll then be able to inform your commissioner that you're fit to resume normal duties."

Dee nodded, showing he understood without running the risk of his mouth betraying him.

"Is your partner coming to pick you up?"

The psychiatrist was looking at him squarely but Dee didn't meet his gaze. "No, I'm going to stay with a friend for a while." He knew the other man would be drawing his own conclusions from that statement, but he didn't care. A fallout with his lover wasn't exactly a good enough reason to keep him committed.

After sufficient time had elapsed for Ryo to call, he'd contacted Drake who'd reassured his friend that there would always be a bed for him at his place. He'd noted a tiny hint of reluctance in Drake's voice – he knew what it was, Drake thought he should go home to Ryo. He hadn't wanted to tell him over the phone that the relationship was most probably over, but with a heavy heart as he emerged into the bright sunshine, he acknowledged that he would have to in time.

TBC…


	17. An Unexpected Ally

**Author's note – 11 reviews for the last chapter! Thank you so much, everyone!! I'm glad Laura is causing such outrage. I guess it'll make it all the more sweet when she 'gets hers', _if_ she gets hers, of course! Hehehe…. And so, onto the next chapter. Reviews as always are appreciated and look out for a Christmas one-shot I'm penning, especially if the angst is threatening to overwhelm you! -Swordy**

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 16 – An Unexpected Ally

Twenty minutes and two cigarettes later, he was waiting in the parking lot, bag in hand, for Drake to arrive. The day was pleasantly warm and soon he dispensed of his jacket as he watched the comings and goings outside the busy hospital. He turned his attention to the parking lot just in time to see Drake's blue Celica creeping towards him over the succession of speed bumps, the driver raising his hand in a gesture of greeting when he spotted the man waiting at the kerb.

"Hey, buddy," Drake said, as he watched Dee throw his bag and jacket into the back before sliding into the seat beside him. Once settled, Dee turned to him and smiled.

"Hey, man, thanks for coming for me."

"No problem."

"Mind if I smoke?"

Drake shook his head as he guided the car out of the parking lot and into the early afternoon traffic. Silence prevailed for several long moments while Dee enjoyed his cigarette, blowing the smoke out of the open window and staring at the gradually blurring scenery as they began to pick up speed. Drake glanced across once or twice but Dee was lost in his own thoughts and it didn't feel right to intrude.

Eventually, the dark-haired man broke the silence. "Did you speak to Bicky?" He turned in time to see Drake nod. The other man didn't look happy and Dee knew it was because he had asked his friend to bypass Ryo and speak directly to the detective's adopted son. He didn't want to put Drake in the position where he felt like he had to take sides, so the less he told him the better.

"He said he'll bring Bright over later."

"Great."

Drake accelerated away from the traffic lights and indicated left into his street. He wanted to say something about Ryo but he lost his nerve and said instead: "So any idea when you'll be back in work?"

"Not sure. I have to attend the hospital for a few more sessions, but the shrink says I should be clear to resume normal duties soon." He said the last part while making quotation marks with his fingers. "I think that's shrink speak for 'you can have your gun back'." A wry smile crossed his lips as he stubbed his cigarette out in the car's ashtray.

Once parked, the two men made their way up to Drake's apartment, making brief conversation about how warm it had gotten lately, until they were inside the detective's dwelling. At Drake's invitation Dee settled on the couch while the other man went into the kitchen to fix them both a drink. Dee looked up and smiled as his friend handed him a can of Diet Pepsi on his return. The 'pssst' of cans cracking open broke the silence before the small talk started up afresh, Drake filling Dee in on the Knicks game he had missed while he'd been in hospital.

After in depth analysis of how their favourite team had performed, Dee explained how he had ended up missing the game because a fellow patient had insisted that the hiss of static from the radio was a sign of impending evil and they had turned the device off to prevent further upset. Drake knew Dee was making light of his incarceration for his benefit as he listened to the other man's stories about some of his fellow patients. At the end of Dee's tale there was a natural hiatus in the conversation and Drake felt the time was right to broach the subject of Ryo, and the relationship that seemed nonexistent at that moment. As far as he knew, Ryo wasn't even aware that Dee had been released, and Drake hated feeling like he was betraying the other man. If he could mediate between his two friends then he had to at least try.

He was about to ease them into the conversation when Dee deposited his now-empty can on the table, yawned and stretched. "Listen, man. You don't mind if I go and try to get a little shut-eye do you? I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night and I don't wanna be falling asleep when Bicky gets here with my little guy."

Drake's planned sentence stuck in his throat, allowing the words: "Sure, you go and have a lie down. I'll wake you when Bicky gets here," to emerge from his lips instead.

Dee nodded gratefully and left the room, sensing he'd had a lucky escape from a difficult conversation.

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Bicky arrived shortly after four, being towed along by an excited English Boxer dog. Whether or not the animal knew he was about to be reunited with his beloved master didn't seem to matter as he tore around the apartment once Bicky had let him off his leash.

"Someone's been at the rocket fuel again I see," Drake chuckled as he went into the kitchen to get the teen something to drink.

"Yeah, I think Tyler was glad to see the back of him," Bicky replied, thinking of the girl's stormy expression when the dog kept approaching her to throw his ball for him.

"She doesn't like him?" Drake asked, his head poking around the kitchen door.

"Scared of dogs apparently," Bicky said with a frown, which Drake was quick to pick up on.

"You don't sound too sure."

The blond boy shrugged. "It's nothing. I just feel sorry for Bright when she's yelling at him. He doesn't understand that she's scared of him."

"Yeah," Drake agreed as he came back into the room and handed Bicky his drink. "It does seem a shame that she hates them now. Dee told me a story once about when he and Tyler were kids. He said she snuck a stray puppy she'd found into the orphanage, and managed to keep it hidden from the nuns for three weeks. They finally discovered it after it had chewed its way through a whole stack of prayer books. Even when they did find it she managed to persuade them to let her keep it. Dee said she was crazy about dogs and when she disappeared, the strangest thing was not that she'd just left, but that she'd left her dog Sam behind. Seems a shame that one bad experience can turn love to hate, huh?"

"Yeah," Bicky muttered by way of reply, finding it hard to believe that Tyler had ever liked dogs from the way she was around Bright, despite repeated assurances that he posed no danger to her.

"Something up, Bick?"

Like with the earlier frown, Drake had obviously sensed something was off in his reply. The genuine concern in the detective's eyes almost prompted Bicky to blurt out his suspicions about Tyler, until he remembered Cal's warning that, without proof, they should keep their doubts to themselves for now.

"Nothing, I just don't get it, that's all."

Drake grinned at the dog, now sniffing at Dee's coat, which he had discarded over the back of the chair before he'd gone for a nap. "Yeah, he's great, but fears aren't about being rational, Bick. Still, he's got you and Dee, right? Speaking of Dee, I'll go and tell him that you're here," he added, making for the guest bedroom. Bicky watched as the detective knocked gently, before listening for the sounds of movement from within.

"Dee? Bicky's here."

"Yeah, I'm coming," came the slightly sleep-grizzled reply.

Drake had returned to the couch when Dee appeared, flattening his hair as he gave Bicky a quick smile. His sleep-mussed appearance was quickly forgotten when Bright saw him, the dog bounding across the space that separated them as if it barely existed. His front paws were on his master's chest as he frantically tried to lick his face.

"Hey, boy," the dark-haired man said, unable to stop the grin that spread across his face at the sight of his over-excited canine companion. He scratched the dog's floppy ears, warming at the contented look on Bright's face. "Man, it's good to see you." He looked up, remembering his manners. "You too, Bicky."

"Yeah, you too, bozo," the blond teen replied, also smiling.

Dee found himself studying the boy, suddenly overwhelmed by a strong feeling of warmth towards him. He felt as if he was seeing him with new eyes. Gone was the bratty pre-pubescent pain in the ass, replaced by an occasionally annoying teen who was starting to blossom into a handsome young man. Bright clearly adored him too as the dog raced between the two of them, ecstatic to see his two favourite companions in the same room.

"Listen," Drake said, sensing man and boy would want to talk. "How about I go and pick up some dinner? Any preferences? Chinese? Pizza?"

He left shortly after pizza was unanimously decided on. Bright settled on Dee's lap as he lit a cigarette, and he scratched behind the dog's ears affectionately. "Has he been okay?" Dee asked, nodding towards the animal who was starting to fall asleep.

"Yeah, I've been walking him and playing with him everyday. He's missed you though."

"Thanks for coming over," Dee said, looking up and smiling at Bicky.

"No probs," the boy answered, his own expression remaining solemn. "But why haven't you come home, Dee?"

The detective's smile faded, accepting that the boy had the right to know what was going on. "You're not an idiot, Bick. You know things haven't been going too well with me and Ryo. I thought it was just a temporary hitch but, well, now I'm not too sure that it can be fixed."

"What? _Why_?"

"It's…" Before Dee could finish, Bicky had interrupted him by holding up his hand and rolling his eyes as he spoke.

"Wait, you're gonna tell me it's complicated, aren't you?"

Dee's response was a humourless smile. "You got me. I'm sorry, Bick. It's not that I don't think you're mature enough to know what's going on. I just don't want you having to take sides." Bicky didn't look pleased, but Dee was at a loss over how he could explain without making Ryo look like the bad guy. How could he tell Bicky that he had tried to make peace, but Ryo didn't want to take him back? He broke the silence eventually. "Did Ryo say anything about where you were taking Bright?"

"He wasn't in."

"Oh, okay." He paused before his next question, not sure whether he wanted to know. "How is he?"

Bicky shrugged. "Okay I guess. He's been working a lot so I haven't seen him all that much. He wouldn't tell me anything anyway."

It wasn't exactly what Dee wanted to hear, but since Ryo had ignored his make or break phone message, it wasn't surprising to hear that he was coping okay.

"And Tyler?"

Dee _was_ surprised to see Bicky make a face at the mention of the girl's name. "Something wrong?"

Unruly blond locks flew around as Bicky shook his head. He had no further explanation as to why he felt suspicious of Dee's oldest friend, so it felt unwise to tell Dee what he did think.

"There's nothing wrong, I was just… well, I wish I had something good to tell you, that's all."

Dee looked up, a humourless smile forming as he withdrew the smouldering cigarette from between his lips and deposited it temporarily in the ashtray resting on the couch's arm. "I had a feeling she was pissed off with me, although I'm not entirely sure why. Has she said anything to you?"

"Not that I can think of," he replied truthfully after a moment's consideration. Like Ryo, she didn't seem to see him as a worthy confident, so he too was none the wiser as to Tyler's reluctance to support Dee.

"Hmmm, I'm sure she'll be in touch eventually," Dee responded. "So how's Cal?"

"She's good. She wanted to come but she's doing an art project with a friend so she's stayed back at school to work on it."

Dee smiled. "You've got a great girl there, you know?"

The boy nodded, despite looking a little embarrassed by the compliment. "She'll come by and see you. For some reason, she's missed your ugly mug."

"Hey!" Dee chastised the boy with a grin. "This ugly mug could have been a model if I hadn't had such a strong sense of public duty."

It was Bicky's turn to laugh. "To serve and protect, huh?"

"Sure, listen. I want you to make sure you show that girl just how special she is to you, okay?" His smile was now somewhat melancholy. Bicky nodded, watching as Dee stubbed out his cigarette and pushed Bright off his knee. The dog looked back at him sulkily as he dug in the back pocket of his jeans for his wallet. Ignoring the picture of him and Ryo smiling up at him from the clear plastic sleeve within the leather wallet, he removed some dollar bills and held them out to the teenager.

"What's that for?" Bicky asked, not accepting the proffered money until he had received an explanation.

"To say thanks for looking after Bright and so you can take Cal out tonight. Go get something to eat, see a movie, just do romantic shit." Seeing Bicky's hesitation, he leaned forward and put the bills into the boy's hand. "Just take it, okay?"

"Okay… Thanks." Bicky put the money in his pocket before glancing at his watch. "I should go. I told Cal I'd meet her at school at five." He had only twenty minutes to reach his destination but still seemed reluctant to leave and Dee knew he was the reason.

"I'll be okay, really," the dark-haired man said quietly, wondering if he really believed it himself. His eyes landed on Bright, looking up at him unwaveringly. The young Boxer dog seemed to give him some strength and he found a smile for the boy who had for so long been the bane of his life while he'd been trying to win Ryo over. "Now make sure you have fun tonight. I want a full report from Cal about how you showed her a good time."

A quirked eyebrow from the teen made Dee chuckle despite himself. "Maybe I should rephrase that."

Bicky smirked. "No, it's okay. I know what you meant. Thanks for the money, Dee."

"My pleasure. Now, get out of here, you snot-nosed punk."

After giving Dee an affectionate punch in the arm for his parting insult, Bicky headed over to school to meet up with Cal. He hoped she'd finished whatever she was working on – being at school longer than necessary was something he didn't like to think about. He rode the subway, absentmindedly fingering the money in his pocket that Dee had given him. He would show Cal a good time in the way Dee had meant. He wasn't comfortable with the hearts and flowers romance that girls seemed to want, but he conceded that that he didn't tell her he loved her often enough. He would rectify that tonight, and just to prove it, he would take her to see that new chick flick that she had talked about. He'd just have to hope that he didn't see any of the guys from school…

"Hey, Bick," Cal said when she found him waiting outside the school gates for her.

"Hi. You get everything done?"

She nodded, entwining her fingers in his as they started to walk. "Yeah, thank God. I'm starving."

"Glad to hear it." His comment earned him a curious look, so he explained. "I went to see Dee. He's at Drake's and he wanted me to take Bright over. He gave me some money to say thanks, on the condition that I take you out somewhere." He paused, blushing when he finally continued. "He wanted me to show you how special you are to me."

Cal stopped, using her grip on his hand to pull him around to face her. She smiled and kissed him soundly, her own cheeks flushed pink.

"Well then, what did you have in mind?"

Bicky paused as he momentarily forgot himself. "How does dinner and a movie sound?"

"Pretty good."

"I'll even watch that chick flick you wanted to see."

"Ooh, even better! You've got yourself a deal, Bicky McLain."

The two teens set off, chatting and walking hand in hand as they headed for the movie theatre. The streets were busy with people making their way home from work as the traffic inched by alongside them. Cal was talking about the project she had been working on when she realised Bicky was no longer listening. He was continuing to walk only because she had hold of his hand and when she stopped, he barely noticed, his mind was so far away.

"Bicky? Hey! Are you even listening to me?"

"Uh yeah," he replied, never looking at her. "Stay here a sec."

Before she could demand an explanation, he had dashed across the road between the snail-pace traffic and disappeared into the reception area of an office block. She didn't recognise the company name emblazoned in gold lettering across the building's fascia, which made her even more confused as to why Bicky had suddenly rushed inside. She had no choice but to follow. When the traffic signals up ahead changed to red, bringing the cars to a standstill, she weaved across the road, determined to find out what was going on.

The company that occupied the office block was clearly keen to present a sophisticated image with its cool marble reception area set behind gold framed revolving doors. Cal pushed on inside, the coolness of the interior bringing goose bumps to her once-warm skin. Bicky wasn't hard to find – he was at the reception desk in what appeared to be a heated discussion with the attractive blond girl behind the counter. A man standing not far from Cal also seemed to be watching the exchange. At this rate, it wouldn't be long before someone called security. She approached the desk cautiously, catching the tail-end of Bicky's demand.

"_Try_ to remember. It's important."

"What's going on?" Cal asked, her attention shifting from Bicky to the startled-looking receptionist and back again. "Bicky?"

"That day," Bicky snapped, finally turning to look at her. "That day Dee and Ryo were fighting and you, me and Tyler went to the movies to get out of their way. _She_ spoke to Tyler," he said, pointing at the girl behind the desk.

"Look, for the hundredth time, I don't know anyone called Tyler…"

"But you didn't call her that – that's why I remembered you!" Bicky argued, looking to Cal for backup. His girlfriend seemed to be searching her memory until her eyes widened, indicating that she had located the event Bicky was referring to so insistently.

"Wait… yeah. I remember now…" she started to say before the girl behind the desk interrupted her.

"Look, if you don't go, I'm gonna call security."

Cal could see they weren't going to get anywhere while Bicky looked about to explode. Before he could respond, she turned to him quickly, grabbing his hand, eager to show him that she would fight his corner. "Bick, please. Go and wait over there. Let me talk to her."

Reluctantly the boy agreed. Cal waited until he was near the door, looking back at her sulkily, before she turned to the desk and the wary-looking girl. "Sorry about him," she said apologetically, furnishing the pretty blond with a warm smile in the hope that she would lay off her threat to have them both thrown out. "I'd be really grateful if I could just talk to you for a minute. _Please_?"

To her immense relief the blond girl nodded. "You've got one minute, okay?"

Bicky had almost boiled over with frustration when Cal came over to him. "Well?" he asked impatiently, his eyes darting back to the girl on reception, who was now on the phone and not paying them any attention.

"Come on," she replied, catching his hand and pulling him out through the revolving doors. She could feel Bicky's protest in the way she literally had to drag him out of the building.

"Cal, stop! What gives?"

She met his frustration with a smile, knowing his frown would instantly disappear once he knew the outcome of her conversation with Kelly Capland, the girl on the desk. "She's agreed to meet us when her shift is over at seven. Guess the movie's out of the window, huh?" She laughed as Bicky threw his arms around her.

"I promise I'll make it up to you, babe," he grinned, taking her face in his hands and planting a kiss on her forehead.

Cal nodded, knowing he would. "Let's just hope it's worth it."

Her teenage boyfriend also gestured in the affirmative, his expression growing serious again. "Yeah. I wonder what she can tell us about Tyler. Maybe she knows why she's suddenly being so weird." He looked at Cal, hope lighting his brilliant blue eyes. "Maybe we can finally get some answers."

TBC…


	18. Taking Sides

**Author's notes – Sorry this chapter has been waaaaay too long in the making (my friend Michelle's been reminding me! ). I was determined to get out a long overdue chapter of Chained to You (adultffnet / mediaminer only) and I had the Christmas one-shot to get done. Anyway, enough grovelling excuses! Time to address some thanks as 14 reviews for the last chapter really made me happy!**

**Jexia****: you know I always love hearing from you. I'm glad you like my merciless streak and it's not set to take a break just yet. **

**Kaira****: it's always great to hear from a new reviewer. Thanks for taking the trouble to leave your comments!**

**DeeRyoFan****: phew! What a long review! Thanks for emailing it to me too. Sometimes they don't show up here so it's good of you to send it to me as well. **

**And everyone else: thanks, please review again and stay tuned. I know you all hate Laura and it just might be worth sticking around to see what happens… - Swordy**

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 17 – Taking Sides

They'd agreed to meet Kelly Capland in a diner across the street from where she worked. Even though Cal had convinced her they weren't crazy, she had still insisted that they meet somewhere public, eventually agreeing on the diner as a place that met her requirements. At five past seven Bicky and Cal saw her enter, look around and walk through the crowded eating establishment when Cal stood and waved to indicate where they were sitting.

"Hey," she said, giving them a forced smile. "I can't stay long. I told my boyfriend I'd meet him at eight."

"That's okay," Cal replied quickly, scooting nearer to Bicky to give the girl room in the semi-circular booth. "We really appreciate you talking to us, don't we, Bicky?"

"Yeah, and I'm sorry if I seemed a little crazy before."

Kelly smiled, the expression slightly more relaxed this time. "That's okay."

They ordered drinks and engaged in the briefest of small talk before they moved onto the subject of Tyler. When Bicky mentioned her name, Kelly looked confused, prompting Cal to step in and clarify. "This is why we wanted to talk to you. You called her something else… and that she was a work buddy of yours."

The blond receptionist tucked a lock of hair behind her ear as she thought about what Cal had said.

"We, uh, kind of got the feeling that she wasn't your favourite person," Bicky added.

This seemed to strike a chord with the girl. "Laura…" she said quietly, not bothering to disguise the dislike in her voice. Suddenly she recalled the day when she had seen Laura walking past Henderson's and had called out to her, wanting to question her about the libellous memo that had been anonymously left on the boss's desk after she had quit.

Cal looked across at Bicky. "I think that was it. Laura."

The boy nodded, relieved that at last they seemed to be getting somewhere. "Why'd you call her Laura?"

Kelly looked at him as if it was the most stupid question she'd ever heard. "Uh, because that's her name?"

"You sure?" Bicky persisted.

"Well… yeah. I think so. She's never given me any reason to think otherwise. I mean, she's weird, but I can't see what she'd gain from pretending to be someone else."

"You said you worked with her? When was that?" Cal asked, feeling Bicky's triumphant gaze that they had uncovered something, confirming their suspicions that Tyler was not all that she claimed she was.

"She quit a couple of months back. It was a surprise but I was glad to see the back of her. She was, well…" She faltered, having not fully determined whether the teenagers were friend or foe.

"You can say it," Cal said with a wry smile, her expression hinting that Tyler wasn't their favourite person either.

Kelly looked mildly relieved that she hadn't walked into some kind of trap. "I was going to say that she was a complete bitch. When I first started at Henderson's I was warned about Laura Burns. No one seemed to like her and I quickly came to see why, even though I tried to be nice to her at first. She made it obvious that she hated me almost as soon as I started. From what I could gather, she'd been there a while but had never been promoted. She blamed everyone else for her lack of career progression and anyone new was instantly a threat. I don't think I was the only one that was happy she left. The miserable bitch left a memo on the boss's desk informing him that me and a couple of the other girls that she hated were sleeping around with several of the male employees. Fortunately our boss believed us, but we could have been in big trouble – relationships between employees are seriously frowned on, and she knew that."

"She only quit a couple of months back?" Bicky muttered, more so to himself. "She'd already moved in with us by then."

His out loud musings caught Kelly's attention. "No offence, but do you want to explain what this is all about? I mean, you show up, ask loads of questions about someone I hate and haven't seen for ages, thank God, but don't tell me why you want to know."

"Yeah, sorry. I guess it does seem a bit weird." Cal smiled apologetically as she turned from the girl to Bicky. "It's only fair we tell Kelly what's going on."

"Okay, you do it. I'll jump in if you miss anything."

So Cal told her first about Dee and Ryo and then how they had come to know Tyler – how she'd unexpectedly come back into Dee's life after disappearing ten years previously and quickly ingratiated herself into his family. Then with Bicky contributing, she told her how their happy family had disintegrated and how they had come to the conclusion that she had somehow had a hand in its demise.

"So let me get this straight. Dee is certain that Laura, I mean Tyler, is his long-lost friend?" Kelly asked at the end of their tale, checking she had the facts right.

"Yeah, apparently she just vanished one day about ten years ago. He always presumed something bad had happened to her because she left without warning, but then she just turned up, out of the blue. It just doesn't make sense. Why would Tyler work so close by for so long and not try to find Dee or at least visit Sister Maria? And why would she lie to Dee and say she'd been out of state when she'd really been here all the time?"

"Ten years is a long time," Kelly mused, "For people to change, I mean." She took a long drink of coffee, her eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "Is Dee really certain she is who she says she is?"

Cal and Bicky exchanged puzzled glances. "Well, yeah. She knew loads of stuff about him from when they were kids. Sister Maria wasn't suspicious about her either."

"Sister Maria?"

"The nun that runs the orphanage where Dee and Tyler were raised," Bicky explained. "Why, what are you getting at?"

"I'm just thinking… what if we've got it wrong. What if it isn't Tyler pretending to be Laura, but Laura pretending to be Tyler?"

Her question hung ominously in the air for several seconds. The two teens realised they had not considered this as an option and the mere thought of an impostor within their family was disturbing to say the least.

"Look, I really have to go," Kelly announced, glancing at her watch, wishing she could help them more. "You know," she said as she pulled her jacket on, "I thought she might have got a little more human when she got herself a boyfriend. Guess Randy couldn't perform miracles, huh?"

Bicky froze. "Excuse me?"

Kelly freed her long blond hair from the back of her jacket before she spoke. "Just before Laura quit, she started dropping hints that she'd met someone. That's when she dyed her hair and stopped dressing like an old woman." She rolled her eyes, oblivious to the fact that this was yet more new information to the two teens in the booth. "Anyway, when she was away from her desk, I went over to borrow her stapler and saw some doodles she'd done on her pad. She'd written the name 'Randy' with hearts and stuff. When she knew that we knew, she confirmed it." Finally the shock on the teens' faces registered with her. "What's up? What did I say?"

"Ryo is half Japanese," Bicky clarified. "Ryo is his Japanese name, but his American name is Randy." Worried eyes turned to Cal. "Coincidence?"

"I… I don't know."

"Look," Kelly interjected, realising that she had potentially opened a can of very messy worms. "I'll try to find out more from the other girls who have worked there longer. Give me your number and if I find anything out I'll give you a call."

The teens nodded, grateful that she wasn't about to abandon them to their confusion completely, before Bicky replied. "Okay, but I'll give you my cell number. Tyler might answer the phone at home."

Cal hastily scribbled Bicky's number down on a paper napkin and handed it to the girl. "We really appreciate this."

"Yeah well, Laura or Tyler or whatever the hell she's called is a miserable bitch. If she's up to no good then she deserves to get found out."

Once she'd gone silence prevailed for several long moments as they both tried to make sense of what they'd just learned. "I just don't get it," Bicky growled eventually, pulling on his hair in frustration. "None of it makes any sense. I thought we'd understand better when we found out more but if anything, I feel like I understand even less!"

Cal nodded, having reached a similar conclusion herself. "Either way, Tyler has lied about her identity to _someone_, we just need to find out who she really is."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dee awoke to a great weight lying across his chest. "Ryo, come on, you're squashing me," he complained, eyes still closed as he clung to sleep. His hands reached down to shift the burden, but instead of skin he found fur and his eyes flew open in surprise. "Oh hey, boy," he muttered as Bright looked back at him happily. Not Ryo. He stroked the dog lazily as the fog of sleep began to dispel. His mind turned to the decision he had made while waiting for Drake to pick him up from the hospital. Even with the benefit of several hours to dwell on it, he still felt he was doing the right thing. Now it was time to put it into action.

"You're up early," Drake commented as Dee came into the kitchen carrying his diabetes kit with Bright at his heels.

"Yeah. Listen, could I get a ride to the station with you this morning?" He sat down opposite his friend and began to unpack his blood glucose monitor.

Drake looked up from the newspaper in surprise. "You're going into work?"

"Not to work. I've got an appointment with the chief. So is it okay?"

"Uh sure thing, buddy."

The silence that descended was quickly broken as Dee's monitor beeped, giving him his reading. Drake had wanted him to elaborate on why he was going to see the chief, but he quickly became aware that he should offer his houseguest some breakfast and he didn't feel he could dwell on the previous conversation without appearing nosy.

After breakfast they set off to the precinct together, leaving Bright settled in Drake's kitchen with a large bone. The timing of Dee's meeting was crucial – the chief insisted that Ryo wasn't on shift until that evening so there would be no chance of them running into each other.

Other colleagues said hello as Dee passed but none appeared too curious about his wellbeing, prompting him to reason that very few people had been told about his circumstances, for which he was extremely grateful. He managed to avoid engaging in any prolonged conversation as he navigated the stairs up to the fourth floor, leaving Drake to enter their office alone before he carried on down the corridor to the chief's office.

"Come in. You're right on time." The older man smiled as Dee entered, his dark eyes twinkling from his age-weathered features. "Sit down, son."

Dee did as he was told, settling into the seat across from the man he had an enormous amount of respect for. They had clashed so many times over the years, but it was obvious there was no real animosity between them – indeed, the chief had been responsible for saving Dee's ass from the commissioner on almost as many occasions.

"How are things, Dee?"

The dark-haired detective nodded. "Fine. I should be cleared to come back to work in a few weeks. The shrink at the hospital doesn't think I'm crazy, which is always nice to know."

The chief smiled at Dee's attempt at a joke as he rolled his shirt sleeves up, the warmth of the office already affecting his heavy frame. "That's good news, but I'm sure you haven't come to tell me that, have you?"

There was a pause before Dee spoke. He should have known that the chief would suspect something was wrong. If he hadn't already been suspicious, he certainly would have been once Dee had confirmed that he wanted to come into the precinct only when Ryo wasn't there.

"Okay, you got me, but before say it, I want to let you know that I've thought hard about this so you don't need to try and change my mind." Green eyes left the spot he had been staring at in his lap to meet with the chief's. "I want a transfer to another precinct."

Chief Smith nodded thoughtfully, having had a feeling that Dee's wanting to see him had been something like this. "Can I ask why?"

"My relationship with Ryo is over," Dee replied, realising that this was the first time he had said it out loud. "It'll be impossible for us to work together so I want to arrange my transfer to another precinct before I'm cleared to come back to work."

"Are you certain things are over between you?"

Dee hesitated, then nodded.

"You can tell me to mind my own goddamned business, son, but does this have anything to do with what happened last year?"

"Yes… and no. I guess it stemmed from there because Ryo found out by accident about what I went through. Since then, things have gone from bad to worse and he's all but confirmed that he doesn't want us to stay together." He saw his superior's frown and added. "Please don't be mad with him. It's my fault. I should have just been straight with him from the start."

Chief Smith sighed as he reached for one of the cigars that he was rarely seen without. "Well, I hope you believe me, Dee, when I say that I'm genuinely saddened by this turn of events. Office romances can really complicate things, but I always thought you and Ryo were good together; you brought out qualities in each other that weren't as obvious when you were apart."

"Thanks for saying so, Chief," Dee replied, glad that the other man seemed to understand that he had no other option. "So will you agree to my transfer request?"

Another sigh, wearier this time. The older man stood and walked over to a set of filing cabinets, where he opened the top drawer and pulled out some papers. He deposited them in front of Dee before sitting back down, his chair protesting noisily.

"This is the paperwork you need to fill out, but I don't think it'll be a problem. Some of the other precincts are pretty low on staff at the moment." His pause caused Dee to look up from the documents he was scanning. "I'll be sorry to lose you, Detective."

Dee nodded gratefully before he stood from his seat and let himself out.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ryo could feel the anger swelling within him. He had come home the previous evening to find Bright gone, and only by that event learning that Dee had been released from the hospital. He had been unable to contain his disappointment with Bicky and so man and boy had barely spoken since the teenager had explained where the dog had gone. Despite his anger, he'd been desperately worried about where Dee was and he wasn't sure whether he was relieved or upset to find out that he was back with Drake. He had arrived at the precinct, glad to have work to occupy himself with, only to find out from the gossipy women in the admin office that Dee had been in that very morning. Apparently he was long gone, but Drake was still around.

Although Drake knew Ryo was unlikely to be happy when he found out that Dee was staying with him, he had no idea that the blond was gunning for him right at that moment. Since he'd left Dee heading off to the chief's office, he'd spent the morning in the basement pulling out the missing persons' files for a two year period that coincided with when Waylan Anderson had been on the loose in New York. This had become increasingly important since the discovery of remains at three of the sites the cold-blooded killer had described. He'd been surprised to find Tyler Brown's file as one of those within the box of missing persons for that period, and he left it with the others, so it would remind him to tell Dee. He had hurried up from the basement only to realise that Dee had left as soon as he had finished with the chief, no doubt wanting to minimise the possibility of running into Ryo. For a second he thought Dee had stayed after all when he heard the door open, but when he leaned around the musty cardboard box blocking his view he came face to face with a clearly angry Ryo.

"Drake," the dark blond detective said by way of greeting, his tone matching his expression in terms of ferocity. "How _could_ you?"

"Uh hey, Ryo." Drake pushed the box aside, suddenly feeling foolish with his head poking out from behind it. He wasn't used to seeing such extreme emotions on his friend – Ryo forever being the more temperate one. "What's the matter?"

"You know what the matter is, Drake. I thought you were supposed to be my friend."

Drake's fears were confirmed and he suddenly found it difficult to meet Ryo's penetrating stare. "I'm sorry, Ryo. He asked and well, I couldn't exactly say no. He didn't have anywhere else to go."

"He had his _home_, goddamnit! He could have come back to me!" His anger seemed to seep away, leaving behind only hurt. "He could have come back to _me_."

"I'm really sorry, Ryo, truly I am. My intention was never to hurt you or stand in the way of you guys getting back together."

Ryo's face reddened with renewed ire. "Oh, so Dee says we've split? Talk about always the last to know…"

"Whoah, wait… he never… I…" Drake said quickly, holding up his hands in protest.

"Forget it. At least I know where I stand. Thanks a lot." The devastated detective turned and left, slamming the office door behind him so hard that it flew back open, revealing the stunned looking lab technician who had come to collect the files.

"Uh, Detective Parker? Is this a bad time?"

Drake lifted his head from his hands and shook it wearily. "No, it's okay. Come in."

"These the files?" the man asked, eyeing the musty box on the desk.

"Yeah."

"We'll let you know if we find anything."

"Appreciate it," Drake replied, his mind only on what had just taken place with Ryo. Once the lab guy had gone Drake dropped his head into his hands again and muttered a long string of curses. This was exactly what he hadn't wanted – to be caught in the middle of his two closest friends. He understood why Ryo was hurt, but he hoped the other man, once his anger had faded, would realise what an impossible situation he was in. He'd no sooner have turned Dee away than he would if it had been Ryo himself looking for solace.

"Shit." He tried to turn his attention back to the report he was writing but found he was failing miserably and decided that he most definitely deserved a coffee break.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ryo surprised himself as he slammed the front door shut and threw his briefcase down. The day seemed to have gone from bad to worse. After he had seen Drake, he had gone straight to Commissioner Rose, having grown more convinced of the decision he had been toying with for the past few days. As he flopped onto the sofa, he replayed the encounter with Rose in his mind.

_'Sir, I wish to request a transfer.'_

_'Detective McLain, you…'_

_'Sir, if you won't grant it then I'll be forced to hand in my resignation.'_

_'If you'll let me finish, I was going to say that you might be interested to know that I've already received one transfer request from your department this morning.'_

_'… __Dee__?'_

_'Yes.'_

Ryo covered his face with his hand and sighed heavily. So Dee wanted to transfer too? Even though he wanted the same thing himself it still stung like hell to know that Dee obviously desired to get away from him so much. He found himself absent-mindedly toying with his wedding ring and the thought suddenly occurred to him that he might no longer have the need for it. Maybe Dee had taken his off. The thought made his heart ache. Why didn't Dee want to try and make things right between them?

When the door opened behind him he immediately jumped to try and present a less outwardly troubled front as he turned to see Tyler coming in. He'd long since given up hoping it would be Dee, but he had hoped it would be Bicky so he could apologise for their falling out the day before. He knew the boy had only tried to do what he thought was right and he wanted to make peace with him.

"Hey," Laura said, giving him a warm smile.

"Hey."

"You okay?"

"No." His returning smile was humourless. "Day from hell to cut a long story short."

The girl's expression was now sympathetic as she sat down next to him, her body turned towards him to show he had her undivided attention. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not much to talk about, other than Dee thinks it's over between us."

"Really?"

Ryo nodded, his gaze now on a bird that had landed outside on the balcony. "I'd figured as much anyway, but it was confirmed this afternoon when I found out Dee had requested a transfer to another precinct."

"So how'd you feel about that?"

"I dunno. You see, I'd kinda been thinking the same thing. I know I sound like a complete hypocrite but it hurts to find out Dee wants to get away from me."

He expected Tyler to tell him he _was_ a hypocrite but instead she laid a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Dee's an idiot. If you were mine, I'd never let you go."

Ryo was smiling until he looked up and met her deadly serious expression. Suddenly he felt uncomfortable beneath her penetrating gaze. "Uh, thanks, Tyler. That's sweet of you to say so," he replied, not knowing what else to say. He was filled with relief when the door opened again and Bicky stepped into the apartment. Laura also attempted a smile of greeting, but it was impossible to completely hide the bitterness in her eyes at their interrupted moment.

For his part, Bicky's returning smile wasn't exactly genuine. It wasn't surprising – coming in to find Tyler sitting so close, her hand laid on Ryo's shoulder. What was she playing at? All he could think about was Kelly Capland's comment; that the girl she had despised had hinted at a relationship with someone called Randy. Could Ryo be cheating on Dee?

"Everything okay, Bicky?" Ryo asked, noticing the boy's less than pleased expression. "Bad day at school?"

"Something like that."

The boy didn't hang around, confirming that their dialogue was at an end. Ryo sighed heavily when he had gone, concerned by how sullen Bicky had gotten lately. He decided to go and speak to him but, just as he was about to get up, Laura laid a halting hand on his knee.

"Leave him. I'll try and talk to him later." She had absolutely no intention of doing so, but she didn't want Ryo building any bridges with his adopted son.

"I really should…"

"Honestly, it's okay. He'll talk to me."

Ryo's posture relaxed, indicating his agreement. He wasn't certain Bicky would talk to anyone but he was desperate. "Okay, well thanks. I just get the feeling I'm not Bicky's favourite person right now."

Laura smiled and rolled her eyes, playing along. "You know teenagers. _If_ he's fallen out with you, he'll have forgotten about it by next week."

"You think?"

"Sure. Look, Randy, if you don't mind me saying, you're looking pretty tired lately. I know you've got a good reason an' all, but you really should start looking after yourself better." She waited with bated breath to see if she'd offended him. On the contrary, the detective's expression grew thoughtful.

"You know, Tyler, you're right."

She smiled, genuinely pleased that he agreed and she had been so accurate in reading him. They were so _in tune_ with each other. "Maybe you need a break from work, a weekend away or something like that." She was getting bolder with her suggestions, but all day since she'd first had the daydream - the wonderful image of her and Ryo taking a trip together and leaving the brat, his girl and most importantly Dee behind - she'd wanted to mention it. Then she could show him exactly why they were destined to be together.

"Okay," Ryo announced with a smile, his voice drawing Laura from her very pleasant reverie. He stood and disappeared into his bedroom before the sound of a muffled conversation began, leaving Laura excitedly anticipating what he was planning. The handsome detective was still smiling when he emerged from his room and came to sit back down beside her.

"Well, I've taken your advice. I've called the chief and okayed a few days off and I'm going to stay with my Aunt Elena. She's the aunt I lived with after my parents died," he explained.

"Oh… right."

"Look, I know it's a big favour, but can you keep an eye on things while I'm gone?"

She was stunned momentarily when she realised his plans did not involve her – but she soon found herself nodding and smiling as he waited for her response. She would never disappoint her beloved.

"Yeah, sure. You make sure you have a good time, okay?"

Ryo's own smile broadened. "Once again, Tyler, you've proven yourself to be more than a wonderful friend." He got up to make a drink, not seeing the stony look on the girl's face that spoke of both disappointment and anger.

_I don't want to be just your friend, Randy. I'll make you see it – I promise you that!_

TBC…


	19. Desperate Measures

**Author's note: I know I say this a lot, but it's from the bottom of my heart that I thank you for your reviews. Writing's a lot of fun for me, and a great escape when real life is complicated like it is right now (contemplating a big career change – nothing to worry about!), but posting what I've written is like the icing on the cake. **

**I'm not afraid to admit I'm a review whore and after I've posted a new chapter I'll be checking like a madman to see whether people have enjoyed it – hell, it makes the hard slog in front of the computer (especially when I've got writer's block) all worth it. Anyway as a thank you, the next chapter (including Ryo-time - I've not forgotten him!) should be up sooner rather than later because I have a little gremlin on my back making me work. She knows who she is! **

**So thank you and enjoy- Swordy**

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 18 – Desperate Measures

Dee was relieved when the clock in the doctor's room turned to eleven and it was time to leave. He had done his obligatory hour with the shrink, telling him what he wanted to hear, nodding acquiescently when he suggested how he might take his life forward following his suicide attempt. When Dr Graham had finished, announcing pleasantly that he thought Dee was making excellent progress, his patient dutifully scurried from the building to indulge in a much-needed cigarette – an hour of bullshitting created a hell of a nicotine craving.

The sunshine and clear blue skies that greeted him left him thinking he should do something more productive with his day than just sitting in front of the TV watching shows aimed at bored housewives and the unemployed. Maybe he would take Bright for a really long walk to pass the time and make the best of the good weather. He was thinking about calling Bicky and inviting him to come along when his cell phone started to ring, the screen displaying the boy's name. Shaking his head at the coincidence, he answered it.

"Hey, brat. I was just about to call you. Do you wanna come and take Bright for a walk with me?"

"Uh sure," came the crackled reply. "I need to talk to you about something anyway."

Way to brighten my mood, Dee thought as he sensed more bad news. When had 'we need to talk' ever heralded anything else? "Sounds ominous. Wanna give me a hint?"

"I'd prefer to wait."

"Okay. Come to Drake's at one."

"Can Cal come too?"

"Sure, the more the merrier."

When the call ended, Dee stared at the now-silent handset for a moment. Bicky sounded strange – he hadn't even protested at being called a brat. "Weird," the detective muttered as he stubbed out his cigarette and started for Drake's place.

He sensed a similar unease in Cal too when the two teens arrived at Drake's place just after one o'clock. However, he couldn't coax the reason out of them until they were in the park near Drake's, watching Bright tear about happily.

"Okay, you two. What gives? You've had faces like someone died since you got here. Wait… no one has died, right? " He paused and studied them both again, speaking only once he had confirmation that everyone was still alive and well. "Okay then, spill it. What's going on?"

The teens exchanged glances, knowing they had come with a purpose, but not sure how to start.

"Okay, you got us," Bicky said. "We want to talk but you've got to promise not to get mad."

"Oh, so I will get mad then?"

"I dunno – look – d'you wanna hear it or not?"

Dee scrutinized their serious faces for a minute, then nodded. They all sat down on the grass as Bright continued to chase things, either real or imaginary, tongue lolling from his mouth like a long wet piece of ham.

"It's about Tyler," Bicky began, glancing across at Cal who nodded. "I know she's your friend, Dee, but, well, we both think there's something funny about her."

"Am I right in thinking you don't mean 'haha' funny?"

"No, and… ah, shit, I'm gonna say it. I don't like her and I don't trust her."

Dee couldn't resist the humourless smile that touched his lips. "Why don't you say what you really think, Bick?"

The blond teen scowled. "I'm not joking, Dee. She's trouble."

"Some might say the same about you, my friend."

"Dee…"

The detective ceased his teasing, sensing Bicky was getting angry with his refusal to take him seriously. "Okay, sorry. I'm listening."

Slowly, hesitantly at first but with gaining confidence, the teenagers spoke of their fears, suspicions, concerns. Dee's expression, indicating careful listening, remained unchanged until they spoke of their meeting with Kelly Capland.

"The reason we've mentioned it now is because she wants to meet you. She's got some information, she says it's not much but she wants to give it to you herself."

This was the moment of truth – would Dee agree to meet her? His answer was obviously dependent on whether he thought there could be any truth in what they were saying. For several moments there was silence, save for the sound of Bright panting noisily at their feet. Dee reached down and ruffled the fur on his head before meeting the teens' expectant gazes.

"Okay, fine. I'll go." He could see their relief – they were so convinced, if nothing else, he was intrigued. "I hope you two are coming with me."

More glances were exchanged.

"What?"

Bicky looked awkward. "She wants to meet tonight but well, I've got a basketball match and Cal promised her aunt that she'd go with her to visit some family. She's really nice though."

Dee held up his hands. "Fine, fine. I'll meet her, but if this turns out to be a big pile of crap then you two will owe me big time." He was surprised when Cal hugged him.

"I've got her cell number so you can arrange when and where. She's waiting for you to call."

Dee smiled and shook his head. "You wouldn't have taken no for an answer, would you?"

"No."

-

Laura shredded the paper napkin between her fingers as she muttered incomprehensible curses under her breath. Her eyes remained firmly fixed on the view beyond the window, despite the fact that there was nothing of interest to see. Not yet, anyway. Earlier she had been at home when Bicky had answered his cell phone and immediately rushed into his bedroom, his actions making her instantly suspicious. Anxious to know what he was up to, she had crept to the door and listened in, ensuring she caught some of his conversation. From what she could gather, he was talking about Dee – she heard Bicky tell the caller that the detective was really low now that he was apart from Ryo and that it would be really good for them to meet up. Bicky then gave out Dee's cell number but promised that he would get Dee to call first to arrange their meeting.

Although she had no proof, Laura had a strong suspicion that Bicky was talking to a woman, but why would Dee be meeting a woman and why was Bicky helping? It obviously wasn't anybody he already knew if she needed his cell number and as for Bicky's input… well, maybe he wasn't as happy with his adopted father being with a man as he had first implied. A smile crept onto her lips. She knew the real Dee would reveal himself in the end if she could only bide her time long enough. By the sounds of things, her patience was starting to pay off. He could never stay faithful to Randy – he just wasn't the type. She just needed to make Randy see it too…

And so she had left the apartment before Bicky emerged from his room and headed straight for Drake's, although she did not venture into the building. She didn't actually want to _see_ Dee after all. Instead she had entered the diner across the street and chose a table in the window where she could keep watch. She hadn't been there a full hour when she saw Bicky and Cal go in and emerge soon after with Dee and Bright. She paid for her drink and quickly left her vantage point, ensuring that she kept adequate distance between herself and the three people she was trailing.

She didn't bother following them into the park. There were too few places to hide and she doubted Dee would be meeting a woman here – he certainly hadn't been dressed for a date. Instead, she headed back to the diner and to some curious looks from the staff, returned to her window position and ordered another drink.

"You spying on someone?" the teenage waiter with an acne-scarred face asked as she ordered her second drink just over an hour later. He chuckled to himself as he walked away, ensuring that he didn't hear her muttered insult, nor did he see the contemptuous glare she shot at his back.

The hours dragged by and evening started to draw in. She had seen them return from their walk, Bicky and Cal bidding Dee farewell at the door before they went their separate ways, but a good four hours had elapsed since then. Her patience was eventually rewarded when she saw Dee come out again, this time dressed in less casual clothes, and set off down the street. Once again she left the diner, wondering where he was going as she started to follow him. When she saw his car, she had a sudden moment of panic that he was going to get in and drive off, leaving her no way of keeping up with him, but he walked straight past, evidently going to his destination on foot. A couple of times he seemed to sense someone behind him, as he would stop and turn, usually combining it with an innocent action like lighting a cigarette. Each time she managed to hide just in time.

The pursuit and near-capture ensured that adrenaline thrummed in her veins. She was onto him – Ryo was certain to want nothing more to do with him once he knew, and then, _then_, they could be together at last. She had her cell phone in her pocket and if she could get close enough without being spotted, then she would take a photo – proof of his husband's infidelity.

She hung back when Dee finally entered a bar – an anonymous wood-fronted place called Red's. There were several unfettered windows and she decided to look in through one rather than enter the bar and risk being seen. The last thing she wanted was to come face to face with Dee and his _slut_ and listen to his lame excuses as to why he really wasn't cheating on the man he supposedly loved.

The first window she approached yielded nothing but a couple of curious faces that stared back at her in annoyance. The male of the couple eventually mouthed 'fuck off' and she obliged, not wanting him to draw attention to her, which he undoubtedly would if she stayed. The next window was around the side of the building and was much grimier than the first. It did, however, afford her a better view, although she didn't initially spot Dee and was beginning to think that he must have left when she couldn't find him a second time. Then she spotted him.

"Fuck no…"

Her previous caution went to much more than the wind as she pressed her nose to the glass, unable to believe what she was seeing.

"_Fucking_ bitch." The words were ground out between gritted teeth. She was desperate to hear what they were saying but she didn't dare go in. The bar wasn't that busy and there was a distinct possibility of being seen if she went inside. Why was Dee meeting _her_? Her heart raced as fast as her mind jumped between possible explanations. Kelly was blond and _pretty_. A vacuous blond would be just Dee's type, but it seemed a little too coincidental that, purely by chance, he would hook up with the one vacuous blond that could blow her cover.

"You fucking bitch. I swear you'll pay…"

-

Dee returned from the bar carrying his beer and the glass of white wine that Kelly had requested, once he had made his acquaintance and offered to buy her a drink.

"Thanks." She accepted the long stemmed glass from him and sipped the contents carefully before looking up to study him once he was sitting opposite her. He was undoubtedly a very handsome man and, knowing he was gay, she couldn't resist the overriding thought of many heterosexual women: _what a waste_.

"So Bicky's explained what this is about. You want to tell me about Tyler, right?"

"_If_ that's her name," came the reply, spoken with a soft Australian lilt.

"You sound fairly certain. Cigarette?"

She shook her head at his offer, their conversation ceasing while he lit one himself. "So tell me what it is that's got you so suspicious. Cal and Bicky certainly seem to think there's something in it."

They were on their second round of drinks when Kelly finished re-telling her own experiences with Laura, ending with the day Bicky had burst into Henderson's ranting and raving and trying to get her to remember when they had apparently encountered each other before. She studied the detective's face when she'd finished speaking, trying to gauge from his expression what he was thinking. Finally she broke the silence.

"So you think this is just a whole bunch of coincidences?"

Dee decked his cigarette in the ashtray. "Detectives aren't supposed to believe in coincidences."

She smiled. "But you do?"

Dee shrugged. "No. And although I can't believe I'm about to say this, I trust Bicky and his judgment. It took a lot for him and Cal to tell me what they suspected – they wouldn't have done it unless they were one hundred percent certain."

"So what will you do?"

"Not sure. I need to think it all through first, decide how best to approach Tyler or Laura or whatever the hell she's really called."

He watched as she reached for her purse, opened it and pulled out a folded piece of paper. "It's not much. After I spoke to Bicky and Cal I tried to access the employee records at Henderson's but it wasn't possible. I did manage to get this though." She handed him the paper and watched as he unfolded it and scanned the contents. "It's the address we had on file for her. I presume she was living here up until the point she moved in with you. Maybe her neighbours or landlord can tell you more about her."

He nodded gratefully as he re-folded the paper and tucked it into his wallet. "Thanks. It's a good start."

"No problem. I just wish I could have found out more." She glanced at her watch. "I should get going."

"How are you getting home?"

"I'll walk," she replied, standing and starting to put on her jacket. "I only live a few blocks away."

"Then I insist I walk you," Dee said with a smile, adding before she could protest: "It's the least I can do."

She returned the smile, blushing slightly. "Thanks."

Dee bid her farewell at the entrance of her apartment block. It was a similar style to Drake's place and he commented on it, explaining how he was staying with a friend nearby at an apartment that was probably built by the same company. They had a brief final conversation, with Kelly promising to call if she found anything else out and Dee agreeing to do the same if he got there first. He lit another cigarette, the last in the packet, as he prepared to leave.

"What's up?" she asked, seeing him look around.

"No trash can," came the reply as he scrunched up the empty packet.

"Give it here. I'll put it in mine upstairs."

She watched him go, waving when he turned back to look at her before he disappeared around the corner, then went inside. There was no one around as she took the stairs to her apartment, preferring them to the clapped out elevator that worked as and when it felt like it. Like Dee had done earlier, she stopped a couple of times, certain that someone was behind her. Nothing.

"Strange," she said out loud before she shook her head and carried on.

The apartment was silent as she entered, her roommate out for the evening. The red light on her answerphone was flashing and she wandered over, pulling out her earrings and massaging the lobes before she set the machine in motion. She listened to the message, from a workmate with growing disbelief. Her colleague had agreed to help her look into Laura's background since she could access the company's files much easier, and what she was now reporting left Kelly open-mouthed.

"Oh-my-_God_." The blond pressed the replay button, not certain she could have heard things right, but no, there it was again: proof that Laura was an even bigger fraud than they had first thought. The pounding knock on the front door startled her and her finger, about to replay the tape for the third time, accidentally pressed delete.

"Shit." No matter – she had heard the message. It wasn't the end of the world that she had wiped it. The knock sounded again, more forcefully this time. "Okay, okay," she grumbled, kicking off her shoes as she approached the door. It didn't sound like Jenny's knock and the night was still young for her party-hard roommate. More likely it was their elderly next-door neighbour, who had a habit of calling late at night, usually to ask if they'd seen her cat. The old bat was so deaf, Kelly wasn't sure why she even bothered trying to converse with her.

Annoyed at the intrusion, she flung the door wide, determined to tell the octogenarian that this had to stop – or at least she should call at a more civilised hour. Instead, she was confronted by an equally unwelcome face.

"We need to talk," Laura snapped, barging into the apartment before Kelly could slam the door in her face. "I'm sure you won't mind if I come in."

Momentary shock gave way to anger. "What the hell are you doing here? Get out!" Kelly growled, holding the door to demonstrate her point but doubting that the bitch would actually do as she ordered. She didn't, and Kelly rolled her eyes in frustration. "Fucking hell…"

Laura glared up at her from where she had sat down on the couch. "Just shut the fucking door."

"Hey! You just barge in here and I'm expected to take it? Don't tell me what to do."

"Spare me the dramatics. Just sit the hell down, okay?"

Kelly shot her a furious glare as she conceded defeat and let the door swing shut. "What are you doing here, Laura? More to the point, how do you know where I live?"

"Maybe I'll tell you if you tell me who you were with tonight."

"I was out with Bryce."

"Liar!" The force of Laura's response made Kelly jump. "Spare me the fucking fairytales. Now who were you with?"

"What if I said it was none of your goddamned business?"

"Yeah well it is. His name's Dee right?"

Blindsided, Kelly's expression gave her away but she wouldn't give Laura the satisfaction by confirming it verbally.

"So how'd you know him?" Laura demanded.

"I don't see what it's got to do…"

"With me? Yeah well, that's where we'll have to agree to disagree. Now why don't you just tell me what I want to know, then I can go and we'll _both_ be happy."

Kelly found it hard to think, especially in the face of the phone message she had just received. How could she explain how she knew Dee without alerting Laura to the fact that her new acquaintances were suspicious about her identity?

"Look, you stupid bitch, you're wasting my time here." Laura's voice snapped into her thoughts and Kelly felt her anger rise a notch. She couldn't resist the urge to antagonise the girl further and the smirk was painted on her face before she knew it.

"Why? You got Randy keeping the bed warm for you?"

This time it was Laura's iron-hard expression that flickered at the comment.

"And did you know," Kelly said, offering Laura a feigned smile of innocence. "Dee's partner is called Randy? Or should I say 'husband'? Now isn't that a funny coincidence?"

Laura visibly bristled at the reminder that Dee was still married to her beloved. "Shut up, bitch."

"You of course realise that being married to another man makes Randy gay, don't you?"

"I'm warning you…"

Kelly wasn't for stopping. Laura probably knew Dee was onto her so there was no point trying to hide it. "Sorry to be vulgar, hon, but _Randy_ clearly likes it up the ass. You're kidding yourself if you think this little charade's gonna win him over. I mean look at you! Talk about trying too hard. You're a sad little bitch, Laura or should I say Tyler." She paused. "Or maybe should I say _Stacey_."

She enunciated the last word, interested to see what Laura would do. She was prepared for her anger but not her actions as Laura leapt from her seat and launched herself at her enemy. The Australian could only throw her hands up to protect herself as the taller girl rained down punches on her. A blow to her face sent her stumbling backwards, her mouth filling with the taste of liquid copper. Once on the floor she felt booted feet joining the fray until everything became first hazy, and then nothing at all.

-

Laura studied the body on the floor impassively as she regained her breath. There were no signs of movement, not even from the chest area, leading her to the conclusion that Kelly was dead.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," she muttered, barely giving credence to the thought that she might have gone too far. She turned her attention to the layout of the apartment, looking for the bathroom so that she could wipe the blood from her hands. Kelly deserved it – she'd told the stupid blond bitch to stop pushing her and she hadn't listened.

From the bathroom she took a small cloth, which she used to remove her fingerprints from wherever she had been. Soon there was no physical trace of her in the apartment, but something was still missing – _someone_ needed to have been there, even if she hadn't. On the coffee table, she spotted a scrunched up cigarette packet and her eyebrows knitted into a frown. Dee's brand. The seeds of an idea quickly took root and she hurried to the door, ensuring the catch was on so that she could let herself back in. She knew Kelly shared with one of the other girls from work, and the thought of being caught added to the adrenaline rush that flooded her veins. She took the stairs two at a time until she was in the lobby. No one was around, and she couldn't resist a 'yes' of triumph when she realised her idea could be used as she pushed the front door open.

When she had watched Kelly and Dee conversing outside she had seen him stub out his cigarette and light another. From a distance, she'd also seen him hand her something and having now been in the apartment, she realised that it must have been his empty cigarette carton, presumably to throw away. The stub was still where he'd been standing and she carefully picked it up, using the sleeve of her jacket to prevent her finger prints contaminating it, then hurried back up to the apartment.

She barely glanced at the body sprawled on the floor as she deposited the cigarette butt in the ashtray on Kelly's coffee table. There was ash in there already, much to her relief, making it look as if Dee's cigarette had been smoked there. Satisfied that all was well, she slipped from the apartment, wiping her fingerprints as she went, and hurried away.

She hadn't gone there tonight to kill, but circumstance had forced her hand. The love she and Randy shared was pure and unspoilt and anyone that tried to sully it would be sorry.

Kelly Capland certainly was.

TBC…


	20. Dark Desires

**Author's note – Wow, guys, what can I say except I'm completely blown away by the number of reviews for the last chapter! Thank you SO much! As promised, here's the next chapter, which finally brings Ryo back into the action. There's an extra 'scene' (if you get my drift) not posted here to conform to the rules, but it can be found at mediaminer and adultfanfiction so enjoy! The ending is starting to appear on the horizon…**

**Oh and I forgot to say – kudos to anyone who recognises the names of Elena's horses! **

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 19 – Dark Desires

"Ryo, ooh it's good to see you!" Elena threw the front door open wide and welcomed her nephew as he dropped his bags onto the front porch. She waited until he was inside the house before she embraced him, her wild blond hair tickling his chin as she hugged him.

"You too, Aunt Elena." He smiled as she stepped back, recognising what was different about her. "You cut your hair."

"Uh huh. Although Rick thought I'd been in a fight with some hedge clippers. I like it though."

Ryo chuckled and nodded. "It's very you."

"That's just what I said. Mind you, he soon said he liked it when I threatened to stop cooking his meals." She arched a fine blond eyebrow to compliment her smile. "Come on. Let's have a drink."

They engaged in idle chit-chat while Elena made some tea. With mug in hand, Ryo followed her outside where two easy chairs sat invitingly on the back porch. Ryo studied the idyllic surroundings, the endless grasslands, where in the distance Elena's and her daughter Carrie's horses grazed.

"I'd forgotten how peaceful it is here," he remarked. "I still can't believe Uncle Rick persuaded you to move from the city."

Elena grinned from behind her mug of tea. "Hey! What are you saying? Do I not make a convincing cowgirl?"

"Sure you do. I guess I'm just used to Aunt Elena, the city-slicker fashion photographer."

"I'm still that too… now I just turn up at shoots with horse shit on my shoes – it's no big deal."

Ryo laughed, loving how she could always make him do that. "And I'm sure no one dares point it out."

"You got that right. We could go for a ride later if you want."

The blond detective's eyes returned to the animals, their tails swishing away the flies, oblivious to the watching humans. "You realise I don't know how to ride?"

"Nonsense, you were great the last time I saw you."

Ryo quirked an eyebrow, the expression reminiscent of the woman facing him. "I was five years old and the pony was no bigger than a large dog."

"And your point is?"

"Okay, okay," he capitulated. "You can let me make a fool of myself later."

They talked for another hour. Ryo was amazed how she never raised the subject of Dee and he could only guess that she was waiting for him to make the first move. He knew they would talk about it eventually, but at present he was content to be away from his crazy life and the problems that he knew he would have to find solutions for in time.

Uncle Rick arrived home early evening. The polite conversation started up afresh over dinner until Rick left to go bowling, a routine he apparently followed every Thursday evening. After clearing away the dishes, Ryo went and changed before he and Elena set off across the field to catch the horses. Lured by the possibility of treats, the horses wandered over to investigate as Elena and Ryo approached. Their curiosity was rewarded, and as a result they came willingly when their owner and her companion put on their halters and led them towards the barn that stood next to the house.

Under Elena's guidance Ryo saddled Scout, Carrie's five year old mare. The gentle creature stood patiently while he fumbled with the various straps and buckles, cursing fingers that could expertly handle a loaded firearm but couldn't fasten a cinch without multiple attempts. Eventually he was ready, and he mounted after watching Elena climb onto her horse, Jem. His own attempt was clumsy but he made it into the saddle, his right foot finding the other stirrup as he settled himself into a comfortable position and took up the reins.

"See? You're a natural!" Elena said with a grin.

"Oh sure. Say that again when we've started moving."

They set out at an easy pace following the dirt track away from the house. The sun was low on the horizon, casting a warm pink glow across the land as they moved along side by side.

"I can see why you're happy with the move," Ryo said after a while.

Elena smiled. "Yeah. I never thought I'd be so in love with peace and quiet. At first I thought I'd go crazy without the constant sound of traffic but now I think I've gotten the right balance. I can enjoy the city through work but come home to this."

Just as Ryo was about to think his formerly wild-child aunt had completely calmed down, she gave him a wink and a wicked grin.

"Plus you can have really wild parties when your nearest neighbours are half a mile away!"

Ryo chuckled in response. "I should have known you'd have an ulterior motive for buying this place."

"You didn't think I'd hang up my mini skirts just because I'm a grandmother now, did you?"

"You without a mini skirt is like… New York without bagels."

"Bagels?" She laughed. "Why bagels?"

Ryo looked at her askance. "Have you tried to get a decent bagel outside New York?"

"Point taken."

As their laughter died away she caught a slightly wistful smile on her nephew's face and questioned it. "It just made me think that sounded like something Dee would say," he explained.

There was a moment's silence before Elena spoke again. "You can tell me to butt out, Ryo…"

"No, it's okay," he interrupted, halting whatever it was she was about to say. "If I'm honest I called you up because I needed someone to talk to. There's no point in pretending everything's okay between Dee and me."

"Are you still together?" she queried, noting the solemnity of his expression.

The detective sighed as he watched Scout's ears flick back and forth, as if she too was waiting to hear his answer. "I don't know. We've been living apart for a few weeks now. Dee moved out when we got to the point where we couldn't speak to each other without it turning into an argument."

"That's not like you, Ryo."

"I know," he agreed. "But it just seemed to happen. I could hear myself yelling back at him – then we'd just go round in circles. About the only thing we agreed on was that it wasn't fair on Bicky, so Dee went to stay at Drake's."

"And he's been there since then?"

Ryo's response stalled, before he decided that if he wanted her objective opinion she needed to know everything. "He had a brief stay at the hospital… in a psych ward."

Elena turned in the saddle, her eyes wide. "Oh my God, Ryo. What happened?" She watched her nephew shake his head slowly.

"I still don't know the full story. Dee was staying with Drake before he was admitted. The strange thing was, he had called me up and asked if we could get together to talk. Obviously I agreed but the next night he didn't show. I figured he'd just changed his mind, but Bicky went round to see him. He found Dee in a diabetic coma."

"Oh God. No wonder he didn't show."

"That's not the end of it though. When I got to the hospital the doctor treating Dee took me to one side and told me his situation was almost certainly self-inflicted."

Elena's blond eyebrows knitted together into a frown as she guided Jem along the left hand fork of the path. "Self-inflicted? Why would he do that unless…?" Her glance across at Ryo confirmed it. "Suicide? He tried to kill himself?"

It still sounded ridiculous, Ryo thought. Was this what it was like to be in denial? So many times he'd sat across from abused partners or families of murderers as they refused to believe that the person they loved, and thought they knew, was capable of such evil. He'd felt sorry for them then, but now he felt incensed that his own situation might warrant others to feel that way about him.

"You don't believe it, do you?"

"No, I don't, but the doctor says there's no other explanation and Dee's friend Tyler agreed."

"And what does Dee say?"

"That he didn't do it, but he can't provide an alternative explanation either. That's why the doctor wanted him to have psychiatric assessment. Dee agreed to it but only because the doctor said he had the power to commit him involuntarily. It's not really like he had any choice. I tried to tell him that I'd stand by him but he wouldn't listen. At the time, I guess I was confused by what the doctor was telling me and Dee obviously felt betrayed by my doubt."

"So he's back at Drake's now?"

"I haven't spoken to him since the day the doctor mentioned psychiatric evaluation. He told me to go and that he would talk to me again when he was out. I only found out he'd been released and was back at Drake's because he asked Bicky to take Bright round to him. Since he didn't come and get Bright for himself, or come home, it's obvious that he still doesn't want to speak to me."

The steady rhythm of the horses' hooves filled the inevitable silence that followed Ryo's gloomy proclamation about the state of his relationship. Elena watched her nephew for a minute, his expression confirming that he was lost in memories and clearly none of them good.

"And what do _you_ want, Ryo? Is it over in your eyes?"

Ryo looked pained. "That's the last thing I want, but… well, a lot's happened. I – I thought I knew Dee, but he kept things, important things, from me. I don't know if we could just go back to the way things were if I don't feel like I can trust him."

"Can you tell me?"

He wanted to tell her, to have someone understand why he was so hurt. Drake was a good source of support, but without all the facts his colleague obviously couldn't appreciate why he and Dee were still at odds. He'd realised that the night he had met Drake, wanting to talk. Drake had seemed, well, off with him when he'd indicated that his relationship with Dee might be over – like it was he, Ryo, that was the only maintaining factor in their separation. He needed someone to listen.

"You remember when Dee was abducted? He had a lot of injuries, both mental and physical but, well, there was something else he didn't tell me about. When he went on that therapy programme in England, he realised he'd repressed memories of being sexually assaulted. He let the guy do it to protect me and Bicky."

"Oh Ryo…"

"Obviously I'm devastated that someone could hurt him like that, and use me to achieve it, but I can't believe he didn't tell me. I'm so hurt that he didn't want me to know."

"So how did you find out?"

"Through Tyler. She let slip because she assumed I'd know. I don't blame her – I mean, Dee and I are supposed to be married, for better or worse and all that. She didn't know that he'd kept it from me."

"So what did Dee say when he knew that you knew?"

Ryo sighed, wearied by the memory. "We had a fight. I just wanted Dee to see why I was upset that he hadn't told me, but he got mad, said I should just get over it because he had."

"Do you believe that he is over it?"

The blond shrugged as he studied Scout's head rhythmically bobbing up and down as she walked, her ears swivelling around to catch the sounds of nature all around them. "I don't think I could answer that – we just haven't been able to talk, so I really don't know."

"Do you think it has anything to do with why he ended up in hospital?"

"I don't know."

Elena could see Ryo was no closer to understanding the situation and she decided against asking anymore questions. A beautiful bird on the path ahead provided a welcome distraction and the topic of conversation moved on, but Elena wasn't about to give up. She could tell Ryo didn't want his marriage to be over and she was sure that, despite everything, Dee felt the same - with everything that had happened between them they'd just lost sight of what they really wanted. As she looked across at Ryo, staring off into the distance, she was relieved to find that her instinct told her that he wasn't a lost cause just yet.

* * *

The first that Dee knew that anything had happened to his new ally was when he received a frantic phone call from Bicky the morning following the attack. He held the door for a pregnant woman as he left the convenience store, his arms laden with groceries.

"Okay, okay," he muttered, juggling bags and battling pocketfuls of crap to locate his insistent cell phone. From where his leash was attached to a post outside the store, Bright looked up at him, his tail wagging in the hope that they were about to go somewhere he could run about and chase things.

"I know," Dee said to his canine companion. "There's no rest for the wicked, huh, boy?" He swore as the device stopped ringing the moment he laid his hand on it. The display gave Bicky's name as the identity of the caller, but before he could call him back it began to ring again. He pressed the button to answer it.

"Jeez, I'm here! What's the rush?"

No greeting, just straight into the message. "Someone tried to kill Kelly Capland last night. She's in hospital, but she's not expected to survive."

"Holy shit." Dee moved the phone to his other ear so he could hear better when some children came to stand nearby and started arguing loudly about baseball cards. "How'd you know?"

"I tried to ring her this morning but her cell was answered by a cop. I just said I was a friend and he asked me a few questions."

"Jesus," Dee muttered to himself before he replied. "I was with her 'til ten. I walked her back to her apartment and then went home. Where was she attacked?"

"She was found in her apartment so it must have just happened after you'd left her."

"Did the cop say what his name was?"

"Detective Maz… Mazowski, something like that."

Dee drew a long breath in through his nose, turning and frowning at the kids that were now engaged in a half-hearted scuffle on the sidewalk. "I don't recognise his name, but it's probably the fourteenth precinct since that's not far from her apartment. I'll go and speak to them."

"Did you find anything else about Tyler?"

"I've got an address, most likely where she was living before she moved in with us. I'll check that out too."

"Okay, call if you need us."

"I will…. Bick? Does Ryo know about all this?"

"Don't think so. He's gone to stay with Elena for a few days."

"Oh… okay."

Once he had ended the call, he turned his attention to Bright, fixing the dog with an apologetic gaze. "Sorry, boy, but something's come up. Can we do the whole walk thing later?"

The dog's head cocked to one side to show he was listening but his tail no longer wagged, as if he understood that his date with his favourite sniffing places had been cancelled.

"Oh come on, don't look at me like that. I'll make it up to you later, I promise." No response. "I'll throw in a bone to sweeten the deal, how does that sound?" When the dog wagged his tail, the detective rolled his eyes. "You sure drive a hard bargain, mutt."

He was right about the fourteenth precinct. Detective Steve Mazowski was indeed based there and on the premises when Dee asked for him on the main desk. The young male cop working the desk looked reluctant to call the detective until Dee explained that he was there about an attempted murder case and that he was 'Detective' rather than Mr. McLain.

He was directed to a row of scuffed plastic seats while he waited for the other man to arrive. There was a small table piled high with magazines that looked well-read for want of a better description. The most recent edition of any of the publications that Dee could find was July 2001 and he was certain, as he thought of his own place of work, that there was a company somewhere that sold out of date magazines to police precincts and hospitals to dump in their waiting areas.

Footsteps alerted him to the approach of a balding middle-aged man in grey slacks and a navy sports coat, the fourteenth precinct clearly not having adopted the dress-down rule of the twenty-seventh.

"Detective McLain?" he said, holding out his hand. "I'm Detective Mazowski. I believe you may have information about the attempted murder of Kelly Capland?"

Dee nodded solemnly. "I don't know how useful it'll be, but I figured I should come."

"Appreciated. This way, please."

They walked in silence to an interview room, Dee noting that the precinct was depressingly similar in upkeep to the twenty-seventh.

"Coffee?" the older man asked once Dee had seated himself at the only table in the room.

"Thanks. Black's fine."

"Feel free to smoke," Mazowski said, seeing Dee's attention directed at the no smoking sign behind him. He gave him an empty polystyrene cup to use as an ashtray.

"So Detective McLain…"

"It's Dee, please."

"Okay, Dee. You feel you might be able to help us with the Capland Case?" He'd gone all business-like, clearly presuming that Dee was there in a professional capacity, most likely having come across a perp with a similar MO. Naturally, he was taken aback by the response he received.

"As I said, I'm not sure I can be of too much help, but I thought you should know that I was with Kelly Capland last night."

To his credit, Mazowski's response was coolly professional. "With? As in the Biblical sense?"

A vehement shake of the head. "Hell no, I'm married."

Mazowski allowed a slight smile to penetrate his otherwise stoic features. "Well, I saw the ring but I had to ask. You wouldn't be the first married man…"

"Married _gay_ man?"

"Touché. Okay, so tell me what you mean by 'with'."

Dee nodded, knocking the ash off his cigarette into the cup. "I met her in bar. I was asked by someone to meet her because she had some information for me."

"About a case?"

"No, for personal reasons. She's an ex-work colleague of an old friend of mine who, well, I think might not be as good a friend as I first thought."

"Sounds complicated."

Dee gave the man a humourless smile. "It's certainly looking that way. My husband's son is suspicious of Tyler, my friend. She's been living with us, but he feels that she's up to no good. He remembered an incident when he'd been with Tyler and a girl, I now know to be Kelly Capland, had spoken to her, but Tyler pretended not to know her. Bicky went to see Kelly and asked her how she knew Tyler…"

"Ah, was Bicky the young man who rung Kelly's cell phone this morning?"

Dee nodded. "That's how I found out something had happened to her. Anyway, Kelly and Tyler used to work together but there was no love lost between them. She knew Tyler as Laura and since something strange does seem to be going on, she agreed to help find out more about her. She called Bicky yesterday wanting to arrange a meeting with me. We met at Red's, a bar about three blocks from Kelly's apartment at eight thirty."

Mazowski nodded, making a note of the time and location on his notepad. "Was she there when you arrived?"

"Yeah." Dee crushed his cigarette into his makeshift ashtray and took a sip of the steaming black coffee. "I arrived about ten minutes late and she was there already."

"Alone?"

"Yeah."

"Did you notice anyone else showing an interest in her? She's a pretty girl – or _was_," Mazowski added ominously.

"No, well, not that I noticed anyway. What's her status?"

"Officially she's fighting for her life, unofficially she hasn't got a cat in hell's chance. The girl needs a goddamned miracle if she's going to pull through. The emergency crew were amazed to find a pulse – they were all ready to stick her in a bag."

"She's obviously a fighter then."

"Let's hope, huh?" Mazowski studied the scrawl on his pad. It wasn't much, but it was more than he had twenty minutes ago. "So your friend, Tyler. You said she and Kelly didn't get on."

"Apparently so."

"Do you think she disliked her enough to give her a motive?"

Dee looked up from his cigarette packet, half open to reveal his next smoke. He contemplated the question, his mind torn as he tried to come up with the answer. If Tyler was the Tyler he'd known and loved then the answer was a resounding no. If, however, she was an impostor posing as Tyler then how could he possibly know for sure?

"I couldn't say," he answered eventually. "I mean, I'm not even sure Tyler is who she says she is yet."

"Okay, no probs. So you met Kelly at Red's last night. What time did you leave?"

"About ten. I walked her home."

"Did you go up to her apartment?"

Dee shook his head. "No. I left her at the main doors. We stood, had a chat and then I walked home. She was going inside when I turned round and waved. That was the last I saw of her."

There was a short silence as Mazowski scribbled furiously on his pad. When the older man looked up, he seemed uneasy with what he was about to say. Dee was soon to find out why.

"Detective McLain, I hate to ask you this, but would you mind giving us a DNA sample?"

To his credit, if Dee was surprised, he didn't show it. "Sure."

Mazowski nodded. "Appreciated. I'll just get a kit."

Dee sat alone for a minute as the other man left the room. He reasoned they must have found some evidence at the scene if they wanted DNA, and he wasn't surprised that he'd been asked to give a sample – after all, he'd probably been the last person to see Kelly, aside from her attacker of course. He decked his second cigarette and blew a breath on his hand before raising the cupped appendage to his nose and sniffing it. "Ugh," he muttered, his face scrunched into a frown as he inhaled the mingling odours of coffee and cigarettes. "Dee, you really need to quit."

Mazowski returned carrying the testing kit, which he unpacked on the desk in front of the other man. "You can do it yourself," he offered, but Dee shrugged.

"I don't mind. Just hold your breath if you're going in. My mouth don't exactly smell of roses, you know?" He gestured towards the cigarettes to emphasise his point. Mazowski smiled.

"Don't worry about it. I'm a twenty a day man myself."

The younger man leaned back, tilting his head upwards before he opened his mouth wide. Using the swab taken from the sterile kit, Mazowski ran it around his mouth, saturating the cotton wool in saliva.

"Done. Thanks for your cooperation, Detective McLain. I know I don't need to tell you it's just procedure. If we're done here you can go, but please ring me if you think of anything else."

"I will do. Nice meeting you."

"You too. And you're at the twenty-seventh if I need to speak to you again?"

He had to wait for the answer as Dee pulled on his jacket. "Yes and no. I'm on long term sick leave at the moment."

Detective Mazowski looked surprised – the younger man certainly looked healthy enough. "I'm sorry to hear that. I hope your recovery is swift."

"Thanks."

Mazowski saw the other detective to the front door. Once Dee had gone he turned around and jumped, not realising his partnerwas standing almost directly behind him.

"Who was that?" Mike Delaney asked, inclining his head towards Dee's retreating form. "He looks familiar."

"Let's get a coffee and I'll fill you in."

* * *

Over the passing days, Elena noticed Ryo starting to relax. Being away from his stressful job was an obvious factor and, as she got him to talk more about Dee, she knew her initial instincts were correct: he still loved Dee and desperately wanted them to stay together. As they sat resting after another slightly more energetic ride, Elena took a calculated risk and pulled out the photograph album of the men's wedding, realising that there were some photographs that she had taken that her nephew had never seen.

"I meant to show you these when you came for Elijah's christening, but I forgot." Typical Elena style – no warning that she was entering potentially choppy waters, just straight in. She turned to the first page – a large landscape image of the entire wedding party with the two grooms standing centre stage. Ryo smiled as he studied the picture.

"It was a good day," he mused, tracing the picture with his finger. "It went so fast."

Elena nodded. "Yeah. I think you should have had a wedding weekend instead. All that preparation for just one day seems crazy." She laughed suddenly. "Remember that woman when we were ordering the flowers for the church?"

Ryo sniggered at the memory, just as his aunt was doing. "Oh yeah, when she asked what colour flowers the bride was having? Her face was a picture when we set her straight."

"I can't believe how long it took to convince her she wasn't on some hidden camera show. It's a good job you and Dee aren't easily offended."

Ryo shrugged and smiled. "You start to develop a remarkably thick skin about things like that. People's opinions don't matter when… when you've got each other."

"That's why you have to make this work, Ryo," Elena said, reaching across for his hand. "It's so obvious that you still love Dee, no matter what's happened. And, well, don't think I'm being critical here, but you seem to have been communicating through other people so much recently. The things you've told me, it's been like 'Bicky said this' and 'Tyler said that' – but very little what Dee actually said for himself. You know how things are, they can get misconstrued if you're not there to hear them directly." She squeezed his hand. "I hope you don't think I'm speaking out of turn here."

Ryo shook his head, knowing she was accurate in her assessment of the situation. "I appreciate your honesty and don't ever feel like you can't say what you think. I won't be offended."

Elena nodded as she turned her attention back to the photograph album. Her face lit up as she found another picture that brought back memories. "Oh Ryo, look at Rick's hair. I told him he needed to get it cut, but would he listen?"

Ryo smiled, although his mind had drifted far from the idle chit-chat they were engaged in. He mentally relived their wedding day, allowing himself to recall all the emotions involved. He could picture Dee, so handsome in his suit as they stood shoulder to shoulder in the church, and their friends and family, so thrilled that they were committing to each other in the happy ending they deserved.

With Elena excusing herself to make them some tea, his mind strayed further into the memories of that day, onto the evening and then, inevitably, the moment they had retired to their honeymoon suite. He allowed himself to picture their lovemaking, the tenderness of it and the promises they had made to each other in the warm, fuzzy aftermath. 'Forever' Dee had said, and he had agreed.

He studied the photo of them, grinning and showing their ring-adorned fingers to the camera, then looked at his left hand, the ring still in place. The thought of not wearing it seemed, well, unthinkable. His finger traced the image of his lover's handsome face as he realised he had come to a definite decision.

He wanted Dee back, even if it _took_ forever.

TBC…


	21. Under Suspicion

**Author's note – Sorry for the delay with this chapter, but I was getting my arm twisted up my back to update 'Chained to You' (which I have done at mediaminer and adultfanfiction). Anyway, kudos does indeed go to the one and only ****Zaria**** who spotted who Elena's horses were named after. Well done! **

**Thanks to everyone that reviewed here and mediaminer for the last chapter. Despite the absence of a lemon scene in this chapter, I hope it still pleases! - Swordy**

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 20 – Under Suspicion

Fifteen minutes after Dee had left the Fourteenth Precinct, Mike Delaney had heard everything his partner had just learned from their surprise visitor. He listened intently while flicking a rubber band between his fingers, a habit that drove Mazowski crazy. Once the other man had finished, he ran over the main points to be certain he had everything straight in his head. This case was certainly proving to be interesting – it wasn't every day that a fellow detective walked into the precinct to announce he'd been with the victim barely an hour before she was almost battered to death.

"So we need to speak to this Tyler character?" Delaney said, flicking the offending elastic band at the trash can in the corner and rolling his eyes when it missed. He didn't go and pick it up despite his partner's glare of disapproval.

"Yeah. I've got an address. We could go after we've been back to talk to Kelly's roommate and her boyfriend."

"What did you think of him?"

"Who? Her roommate's boyfriend?"

"Yeah. No secret romance between him and Kelly?"

Mazowski raised an eyebrow. "You watch too many soap operas, Mike. But to answer your question, no, he seemed on the level. Besides, he was with Jenny all night and they were nowhere near the apartment."

"Okay… what about your newest witness?"

"McLain?"

"Yeah."

Mazowski chewed on his lip for a second before he shrugged. "Also seems straight up. I don't think we have any reason to suspect him."

"Great." Delaney rolled his eyes. "You can never find a criminal when you need one, huh?"

* * *

Dee paused at the door, contemplating his options. He had a key, obviously, but since he wasn't living there – hadn't been for a number of weeks – he didn't feel comfortable just letting himself in. He knew Ryo wasn't there but Tyler was, hence the reason for his visit. Detective Mazowski's comment about whether she could be responsible for what had happened to Kelly had continued to play on his mind long after he'd left the Fourteenth Precinct. He'd weighed up his options and decided that the best way to satisfy his curiosity about Tyler was to do what he did best: detective work.

Now he knew that there was reason for him to doubt her identity, he could look for signs of deception – the subtle clues that a person gave out unconsciously when lying. It was a natural part of his trade and one that he had an instinct for, although if Bicky was right and Tyler wasn't who she said she was he would berate himself for not spotting it sooner.

He decided to knock.

There was movement from inside the apartment, culminating in footsteps moving towards the door. It opened to reveal Laura's slightly startled face as she saw the identity of the caller.

"Oh hey, Dee. What are you doing here?"

"I _live_ here, remember?" Despite his reservations about using his key he couldn't help but feel indignant that they were both on the wrong side of the door.

"Randy isn't here…" she started to say.

"I know. He's at Elena's. It's you I came to see."

"Oh… okay. Well come in."

"Thanks," he replied, wondering if it had sounded as sarcastic to her as it did to him.

He followed her into the apartment, studying her as she settled into the armchair, looking for all the world like a queen on her throne. As he sat down opposite, the first thing he noticed was that the framed photo of him and Ryo on the coffee table was missing. A quick glance around failed to locate it; indeed, he noticed that a couple of other pictures of himself had gone too.

"So why did you want to see me?" Laura asked, pulling him from his musings about the missing images.

She seemed awkward and Dee briefly toyed with the idea that she might know he was onto her, but concluded that she couldn't – Bicky had said he'd been careful not to arouse her suspicions. He figured her standoffish attitude was more likely because she was supposed to be his friend yet she'd never been to see him since before he was taken into hospital.

"I just wanted to talk to you about Ryo," he said in answer to her question, green eyes studying her reaction closely.

"Okay…. Shoot."

"I want him back."

Her expression was hard to gauge but he noticed the subtle tightening of her lips despite the fact that she was nodding.

"Thing is," Dee continued regardless, "you've been here with him all this time, so I'm sure you know what approach I should take to win him back. I miss him, you know? Whatever it takes…"

Laura looked away, unable to meet his gaze. "What if he doesn't want you back? Have you thought of that?"

Dee moulded his face into a grin, despite the anger he really felt. Kelly was right – she clearly _did_ have designs on Ryo. He could _feel_ it. "Failure isn't an option. I love my husband, Tyler, and I know he loves me…"

He knew he'd pushed her over the edge when her expression could no longer hide her irritation at his optimism. She stood quickly, her eyes darting everywhere but the man she was addressing.

"Look, Dee, it's great to see you but I was actually on my way out…"

_Liar_, he thought, able to smell the fresh cup of coffee she had made for herself from in the kitchen. "Oh sorry. I'll go. Bad timing, huh?"

She forced a smile. "Sorry. Look, I'll have a think about what you can do about Randy, okay?"

Dee let himself out. "I bet you will," he muttered to himself before he walked away, now more convinced than ever that Bicky was onto something.

As he rode the elevator down, he fished in his pocket for his wallet where he had carefully secreted the address Kelly had given him only the night before.

* * *

The mood between the detectives investigating Kelly Capland's attack changed considerably later on that day, with the news that a positive DNA match had been made with the cigarette stub found in the ashtray at her apartment. Mazowski, for one, had been genuinely surprised.

"So why'd you suppose he lied about being in the apartment?" Delaney asked as they drove back to the precinct, having re-interviewed Kelly's distraught roommate and unsuccessfully tried to locate Tyler Brown at the address Dee had given them.

"I wish I knew," Mazowski replied, his eyes fixed on the passing scenery. "It doesn't make any sense – I mean, why would you voluntarily come forward and then lie about what happened? And he agreed to give a DNA sample without hesitation. Surely you'd only do that if you had nothing to hide?"

"You'd think so. Maybe we should look a little more into his background. You said he was on long-term sick leave right?"

"Might be something to do with the medical condition he has."

Delaney frowned. "How'd you know he's got a medical condition?"

"He wears a medical alert bracelet."

"Sharp as a tack as always, Detective Mazowski."

Mazowski smiled. "Well that's just speculation. He never actually said why he was off work."

From his position in the driver's seat, Delaney looked across and gave his partner a wry grin. "You wouldn't if it was something _up here_," he said tapping his head.

Mazowski was about to say something before he stopped and changed his mind, realising his partner might have a point. "I don't know whether I hope you're right or not."

"I bet you ten bucks I'm right."

Mazowski was regretting making the bet since Delaney always made sure he collected his winnings with undisguised glee. Ten bucks worse off, he was sitting amongst a desk full of files, sifting through the wealth of information they had amassed since Dee McLain walked through their doors. He rubbed his eyes, feeling the beginnings of a headache behind them.

"Awww, is my poor baby sleepy?"

Mazowski gave Mike Delaney the best glare he could manage. "Screw you. Some of us have worked a double shift."

Delaney sat back in his chair and grinned, his fingers laced behind his head. "Oh stop it. You'll make me feel guilty about taking your money."

"Yeah well, what have you found?"

The younger man sat forward again and picked up the topmost file off his untidy desk. "Well there certainly seems to be more to Detective McLain than we first thought. You first, though."

Mazowski glanced down at his own notepad, now filled with his shorthand. "Official diagnosis of PTSD after being abducted last year…"

Delaney startled suddenly, as if he'd been electrocuted. "I _knew_ I recognised him! The Goldsmith Trial, right?"

"Got it in one."

"Shit… so what happened after he was diagnosed?"

Mazowski tapped his pencil on the pad thoughtfully before he replied. "He was sent on a month-long intensive therapy program in England by the looks of things. He returned to work almost immediately after that. Nothing of note for some time, until now that is."

Delaney nodded, frowning when he realised that someone had eaten the last of the cookies he had brought in at the start of his shift. Double double chocolate chip.

"So what's his most recent hospitalisation about?"

Mazowski smiled. "Well I was half-right. He was admitted in a diabetic hyperglycaemic coma…"

"I'm keeping your ten bucks…"

"Wait – you haven't heard the rest of it yet. His physician thought it was self-inflicted so they committed him."

"Who? The physician?"

"Funny," Mazowski said, giving Delaney a scathing look. "Apparently he agreed to psychiatric assessment but basically it was that or they committed him involuntarily. He's still seeing his shrink once a week."

"We need to talk to that guy."

"Dr. Graham," Mazowski clarified.

Delaney rolled his eyes as he threw his pen down. "Let's just hope he doesn't pull all that patient confidentiality crap on us."

"He shouldn't. His client's a suspect in what most likely will turn out to be a murder investigation."

"So he's an official suspect now?"

Mazowski paused, contemplated, then nodded wearily, his headache now pounding away at his temporal lobes. "I don't think we have any other choice."

* * *

Dee found the address Kelly had given him fairly easily. It was in a drab neighbourhood where one property looked much like another and the paving stones on the sidewalk were cracked and uneven. He ignored the small group of children who shouted rude comments as he wandered down the street trying to locate the right place, his search eventually ceasing when he found it. He jogged up the steps and studied the intercom, finding very few names listed next to their respective buzzers. Others had been crossed out and written over, leaving Dee none the wiser as to who actually lived there. In the end, he pushed the first buzzer, then the second when nothing happened after a minute had passed. Eventually, the intercom flared into life.

"Yeah? Who is it?"

"My name is Detective Dee McLain, NYPD. I'm looking for the landlord."

There was a pause, before the voice informed him that he'd hit the jackpot. "That's me. You'd better come in then."

A buzz signified the door's lock had disengaged and he pushed on into the lobby beyond, just as a tall, heavy-set man was making his way down the stairs towards him.

"Detective McLain?" the man asked, his voice crackling with years of cigarette smoke. The yellowing teeth that were revealed when he spoke also bore testimony to his habit. Dee made another mental note to try and quit.

"Yes." He pulled out the leather wallet containing his badge and flipped it open. "I'm sorry, I don't know your name."

"Leon Fletcher. What's this about?"

Dee detected a slightly hostile note to his voice, the typical response of a ex-small-time crook. "I want to speak to you about a former tenant. Her name is Laura Burns."

Fletcher rolled his eyes at the mention of the name. Dee clearly didn't need to ask if he remembered her. Obviously she hadn't been popular here either. "I was glad to see the back of her. Always complaining, you know? I told her: you pay peanuts, you get monkeys – or the monkey house in this case. What's she done anyway?"

Green eyes narrowed. "What makes you think she's done anything?"

Fletcher snorted as he ran a hand across his greasy grey hair. "She was goddamned strange. She thought she was better than everyone else that lived here. A short while before she left she suddenly dyed her hair and got it cut, started wearing different clothes, you know? Seemed weird because she'd started dressing like the people she looked down her nose at."

"Any idea what caused the change?"

"None. She kept herself to herself, you know? Not that anyone cared."

"So when did she move out?"

Fletcher made a face, his displeasure revealing his stained teeth again. "March. She just upped and left – no notice, nothing. I probably wouldn't have even known she was leaving if I hadn't seen her coming out with all her bags."

"Did she have unpaid rent?"

"No, but it's the principle, you know? Tenants are supposed to give a month's notice."

Dee thought about when he'd left his old apartment and mentally smirked at the memory. His expression, however, remained business-like. "Is there anyone in the apartment now?"

"No… it's been empty since she left. In fact, I think some of her crap is still up there."

"Can I take a look?"

"Sure. Knock yourself out."

Dee followed the older man up the stairs, averting his eyes from the large behind that was threatening to spill from the worn pair of corduroy pants with every movement. When they reached the third landing, Fletcher began to dig in his pockets, eventually pulling out a large set of keys. He found the one he wanted and inserted it into the lock, but it took several attempts whilst simultaneously barging the door with his shoulder before it opened.

"Lemme know when you're done," Fletcher said, allowing Dee past. "I got a game to watch."

"Sure," the detective replied, glad that the older man wasn't going to be looking over his shoulder as he searched the apartment. He waited until he'd gone, before he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

The first thing that hit him was the mustiness of the main living area. The furniture, now coated in a veil of dust, was basic and so old it was possible that it was already there when the apartments were built and they just constructed the building around it. He moved around the room, assessing the scene, something his eyes now did instinctively. Aside from the furniture there was very little to see and he wandered through into the bedroom, flicking on the light as his eyes swept over his dismal surroundings. The bare floorboards creaked beneath his feet, and as he was about to take a step towards the closet in the corner of the room he noticed something sticking up between the boards. He knelt, ignoring the obviously dirty floor to retrieve what appeared to be some paper, which he removed carefully, not wanting to tear it.

He wasn't aware he was holding his breath when he found Ryo's face looking back at him. The article attached to the picture was about their marriage and read very similar to the one he'd seen when they'd been honeymooning in Las Vegas. His mind tried to tell him there was an innocent explanation, but from everything he was learning about the girl that was supposed to be his friend, he wasn't sure he would believe it even if he could come up with one. Carefully, he folded the paper and tucked it in his pocket before recommencing his search, but the room yielded no further information. The closet he'd been about to check when he'd seen the newspaper article on the floor was empty, save for a few empty shoeboxes and there was nothing under the bed or in the set of drawers beside it.

Feeling his optimism start to wane, he wandered back through into the living area to check there. Fifteen minutes later, aside from being slightly grimier than when he'd started, he had nothing new to either support or put to rest his suspicions about Tyler. He wasn't sure what he had expected to find – if she was really up to something, he was pretty certain she wouldn't have left clues lying around.

He was preparing to leave when his eyes lit on a small wicker basket, lying on one side that appeared to have been used for trash. He knelt beside it and carefully pulled out some screwed up newspaper, but it was what was beneath that caused a deep frown to appear on his handsome features. He reached in and pulled out the glossy paper, surprised to find Bicky and Cal smiling back at him. His eyes then returned to the basket, the bottom of which was covered with a light layer of confetti-like photographic paper. He tipped it out onto the floor, realising at once that he had a jigsaw on his hands.

"Dammit," he growled, frustrated by the lack of progress after a full five minutes had elapsed. He was determined to find out what the picture was even though it was unlikely to be the panacea he so badly wanted, and his determination won out in the end.

"What the…?" he muttered to himself as he stared at the sight before him, recognising it at once as the picture he had given Tyler not long after they had been reacquainted. On the floor, he had managed to piece together the image of Bicky and Cal with the shredded part of the same photograph. Despite the jagged edges and rips, his own face grinned back at him. After several more minutes of staring, he wasn't sure what disturbed him most – the fact that only he was completely obliterated or that Ryo wasn't there at all.

* * *

Ryo came down to breakfast with a smile on his face. Elena was quick to notice the change in his general disposition.

"Tea?" she said, deciding not to comment on it straight away.

"Thanks."

She moved about the kitchen with the grace of a dancer, her hips swaying in time to the tune on the radio. Ryo watched her, smiling. She carried no baggage of her own rough childhood, preferring to always look to new horizons. Every new day had endless possibilities and it was easy to subscribe to her philosophy with the sun streaming in through the kitchen windows and a new ray of hope in his heart.

"I think I'm going to go home tomorrow," he announced, causing her to stop dancing and turn to face him. She smiled.

"Any particular reason, other than the fact that it's your birthday?"

"You remembered," he said with a smile. "But it's nothing to do with that. I want to find Dee and have us sit down together so we can talk, properly this time. I need to stop thinking of me and my feelings and listen to him. I need him to see that I'm sorry."

"I'm sure he'll want to talk," she agreed.

"But as well as that, I want him back and I'm not taking no for an answer."

Elena chuckled as she grabbed two mugs from the nearest cupboard. "Listen to you. Anyone would think you were related to me!" She turned and winked, causing Ryo to laugh in response.

"You're a good teacher."

"Yeah well, only the best for my favourite nephew. And just so you know, I'm really, _really_ pleased you've come to that decision. You and Dee are made for each other and I'm sure getting your relationship back on track would be the best birthday present you could wish for, right?"

She handed him his mug of tea, squeezing his shoulder supportively as she drew close. He looked up and smiled.

"I had a really good think last night – what you said yesterday really struck a chord."

"What did I say?"

"About me and Dee communicating through other people. We've always had such an honest and open relationship – I can't believe we've allowed ourselves to reach this point. I mean, I appreciate everyone's help – Tyler especially has been a great support, but we need to stop relying on other people and start talking for ourselves." He offered Elena a worried yet hopeful smile. "I just hope Dee agrees."

Enthusiasm radiated from her expression. "I'm certain he will."

"Yeah well, I'll let you know. Fingers crossed, huh?"

The blond woman frowned at his obvious uncertainty. "Hey, what happened to Mr. Confident? Why don't you occupy your mind with how you want to spend your last day here instead of worrying about what may or may not be?"

Ryo sipped his tea and then offered her a mock salute, his smile now back in place. "Sure thing, Captain."

From her seat across from him, Elena pretended to be annoyed. "Oy, are you implying I'm bossy?"

He laughed and an arched eyebrow preceded his reply. "Bossy? You? _Never_!"

* * *

Detective Steve Mazowski sat in his car drumming his fingers absent-mindedly on the steering wheel to a song he'd never heard before. Delaney had changed the channel while he'd been checking an address, to a station he didn't even know existed. The song sounded like something his daughter would listen to – Jenna loved the wailing cries of these troubled teenage musicians. His son Robert, ever the pragmatic one, would roll his eyes and declare everything that she enjoyed an 'angst-fest'. He sighed as the singer finished bemoaning her life. _Kids today_, Mazowski thought, _they don't know how good they've got it_.

Through the window of the convenience store he could see his partner paying the clerk. From what he could see, she was young, pretty and smiling coquettishly, leading Mazowski to the correct assumption that Delaney was playfully flirting with her. If his partner had ever missed an opportunity to hit on a pretty girl, Mazowski sure as hell didn't know about it.

"You're getting too old for that," the older man announced once his partner was back in the car and had handed over Mazowski's coffee and danish.

Delaney looked wounded. "Ooh, cheap shot, Steve. Way to hit a guy where it hurts."

Mazowski sunk his teeth into the pastry, looking not the least bit guilty. "I'm doing you a favour, trust me. It's better than being rejected by them because they don't want to deal with your false teeth and colostomy bag."

Delaney laughed. "Tell me, Steve, do you automatically get bitter when you get old?"

The older man smiled as he screwed up the empty paper bag and shifted the car into drive. "I dunno. I'll tell you when I get there."

They drove to the address they had obtained from the Twenty-Seventh Precinct, Delaney singing tunelessly much to Mazowski's weary annoyance. Despite their usual wisecracking, they both felt uncomfortable with what they were about to do. The word 'arrest' had never come up but both knew they had some serious questions that needed answering and if an arrest was necessary, then so be it.

The sound of footsteps could be heard soon after Delaney had rung the doorbell. Dee answered the door, his changing expression reflecting his surprise at seeing them on his doorstep, especially when he hadn't given them Drake's address.

"Detective Mazowski," he said in greeting, his eyes then straying to the other man whom he didn't know.

"This is Detective Mike Delaney, my partner," Mazowski announced, pausing briefly while the other men nodded brief greetings to each other. "Is it okay if we speak to you for a few minutes?"

It was a polite request, but Dee knew they wouldn't be there unless something had happened. "Sure, come on in."

Bright watched the two newcomers carefully as they came into the apartment and sat down where Dee directed them.

"Great dog," Delaney commented as he studied the obedient canine waiting patiently for his next instruction.

"He is," Dee replied. "Bright, heel."

The sleek white Boxer was at his side in an instant. Dee patted his head affectionately before he turned his attention to his visitors. "So what is it you want to talk to me about?"

He noticed the non-verbal interplay between the two men and instantly thought of himself and Ryo – how they always seemed to know what the other was thinking to the benefit of their personal and professional relationship. Delaney was obviously delegating responsibility to Mazowski with the look he had given him.

"We just wanted to go over the time you spent with Kelly Capland again."

Dee knew there was more to it than that – the way Mazowski's fingers were interlaced a little too tightly on his lap gave him all the clues he needed. "I gave you an accurate account at the station."

_No point bullshitting_, Mazowski thought. "Well, there are a couple of points we need to clarify, given that we have some new information."

Dee nodded, his expression giving nothing away. "Okay, I'll certainly try. What exactly needs clarifying?"

"Tell us again what happened when you reached Kelly's apartment."

Dee knew Mazowski had ignored his own question for a reason, but he had told the truth the first time and could only do the same again. "I walked her home from the bar. We had a conversation out front of her apartment complex and then I left. She was going inside the last time I saw her."

"What did you talk about?"

"She agreed to call if she found out any more about the situation with my friend Tyler, and I said the same. That was it."

"Did you see anyone?"

Dee met Mazowski's gaze and held it firmly. "You mean did anyone see _me_."

The older detective didn't flinch – he'd expected Dee to see right through him. "That too."

Dee took a moment to think back before he answered. "No, I didn't see anyone so I guess that means no one saw me to verify that I did what I said I did."

Mazowski nodded. "So you didn't go inside her apartment at all?"

"No. No I didn't."

He wasn't surprised to see the two detective steal a glance at each other – he'd had a feeling that this was what their visit was about - but it was somewhat unnerving when he had told them nothing but the truth.

"Detective McLain, would it be possible for you to come to the precinct to make a formal statement?"

"Now? Are you arresting me?"

He could sense their awkwardness at having to have this dialogue with a fellow cop but he didn't care for their feelings. Right now he was obviously a suspect and other than circumstantial evidence of admittedly being the last person to see Kelly before she got attacked, he was concerned about why they were taking such an interest in him.

"No, we're not arresting you."

"So why do I sense there's something you're not telling me?"

"If we could just go to the precinct…"

Mentally Dee sighed. He wasn't going to get anything else out of them here but to refuse to go would surely seal his fate as the guilty party in their eyes. "Okay, okay," he replied, holding his hands up in defeat, before he turned to the dog at his feet. "Bright, bed."

The lithe young Boxer trotted obediently to his basket and got in as Dee collected his keys, cigarettes and jacket and joined the two men now standing at the door.

"Okay, I'm ready," he announced, mirroring their grim expressions as they filed out of the apartment together in silence. He tried to reassure himself that Detectives Mazowski and Delaney just liked to be really thorough in their investigations, but he couldn't help the nagging suspicion that there was something else – some kind of ace card that they were waiting until they got to the precinct to play…

TBC…


	22. Any Port in a Storm

**Author's note – Many thanks for all the reviews.**** I estimate there's only a couple of chapters left (plus an epilogue) and then it's all over. Let's hope everyone's still alive by the end of it… **

**And my biggest note of thanks goes to my very special friend (who shall remain nameless), whose idiocy, childishness and laugh-a-minute attempts to be big and clever at her special little group somehow makes me want to write even more. I'm sure she'd be tickled pink if she knew that she inspired me so much. Cheers! **

**Anyway, back to the regularly scheduled programme…**

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 21 – Any Port in a Storm

"Hello? Anyone home?" Ryo paused for an answer as he stood, bag in hand after letting himself into the apartment. Silence greeted him and he sighed, resisting the urge to whistle a forlorn version of 'Happy Birthday' as he wandered through the apartment, looking for any signs of life. He'd already let go of the wild little fantasy he'd had on the ride home, of Dee waiting for him with open arms – possibly the best birthday present he could ask for. He knew that wouldn't happen, but he couldn't help growing a little incensed as he realised that there were no cards or presents from any of the people he thought of as his immediate family.

"Jeez, thanks for remembering, guys," he muttered out loud as he flopped into the armchair. His features quickly pulled into a frown.

"That's funny," he said under his breath as he studied the coffee table in front of him, now minus the framed photo of him and Dee. He couldn't see it anywhere else, leading him to the weary conclusion that it must have been broken while he was away. The silence did nothing for his already low mood and he left his seat and made for the kitchen. Once he'd started the kettle boiling he flicked on the radio and thumbed through the mail that someone had stacked for him on the counter. All bills and junk mail. No birthday cards here either.

Surely, Dee hadn't forgotten. The bulk of his cell phone in his pocket as he leaned against the counter reminded him how he could find out for sure, and he took the device out and dialled Dee's number before he could change his mind. His lover's voice came on the line without it ringing – his answer machine message informing his caller to speak after the beep. Ryo ended the call without leaving a message. Either Dee was somewhere where there was no signal or his phone was switched off. He tried Drake's apartment without success and as a last resort, the precinct, but no one knew where Dee was. Aside from walking the streets and calling in at all Dee's favourite haunts he had no choice but to wait and hope that the man himself would call.

He'd been home just over an hour when the front door opened and Laura came in, her face lighting up when she saw Ryo was back.

"Randy!" she exclaimed with obvious delight as she rushed over to him. "Happy Birthday!" She hugged him tightly before pulling away to rummage in her large canvas shoulder bag. From it, she produced a card and a beautifully wrapped gift.

"Awww, Tyler, you shouldn't have, really."

"Pish," she replied, waving away his concern. "After everything you've done for me? You deserve it."

"Well thanks. This is a really nice surprise." He started to tear the paper, quickly revealing a gorgeous and clearly very expensive black shirt. He had a pretty good idea how much it would have cost and he was genuinely surprised that she would spend so much on him.

"Tyler, this is fantastic. Are you sure?"

"Sure I'm sure. And hey, if you don't like it I won't be offended if you want to change it…"

"I love it," he interjected, grinning broadly. "You obviously know my tastes perfectly."

She smiled, blushing slightly. "Well I hope it fits." There was a sudden pause that she found herself rushing to fill. "So, Birthday Boy, what are your plans for the rest of the day?"

"No plans," he said with a slightly embarrassed smile. "To be honest, apart from you and my Aunt Elena, I don't think anyone else has actually remembered it's my birthday."

"What? Really?"

"Yeah, really. Well, not unless the kids are planning some kind of surprise party."

Laura nodded pretending to look thoughtful. "Well they've not mentioned anything to me."

"That's a no then."

Her expression was sympathetic. "Sorry. Was there anything from Dee?"

The detective shook his head. "Nothing. It's okay though, he forgets a lot of stuff. I can't say I'm too surprised."

It was a lie of course – Dee never forgot his birthday or their many anniversaries, which included the date they'd first met, the date they'd first kissed, the date they'd first slept together and so on. Even though they weren't exactly together, he'd expected that Dee would at least acknowledge the date to show that he'd remembered.

"Okay," Laura said, breaking into his thoughts. "If you get a better offer I'll understand, but would you like to go out for dinner tonight, my treat?"

Ryo smiled, touched by her offer of companionship. "That's sounds wonderful, but only on one condition."

"What?"

"You let me pay."

"But it's your birthday," she protested, giddy at how readily he had accepted her offer.

"Okay, I'll meet you half way. How about we go dutch?"

She nodded. "Agreed. In that case, you can choose the restaurant."

He mirrored her gesture with a smile. "Fine. I think I'll wear my new shirt."

She was almost relieved when he walked away so she could finally let her true elation show. This wasn't just dinner – this was a proper date.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Detectives Mazowski and Delaney drove to the Fourteenth Precinct occasionally trying to make idle chit-chat with the man in the back who gave brief, if any, responses. When they arrived he was shown to an interview room, where they left him alone while Delaney excused himself to make a call and Mazowski disappeared in search of coffee for them all. _At least I'm getting coffee_, Dee thought, knowing it was their attempt to not treat him like a complete criminal.

In his solitude his mind turned to Ryo. Beautiful, sweet Ryo. Part of him wanted Ryo here with him – his lover was strong, sensible, logical. He was also a hell of a lot more diplomatic - a definite asset at this present moment. The other part of him, however, wanted to shield Ryo from this mess he had now found himself in. That provoked a snort of derision, after all, shielding Ryo from his problems hadn't exactly been successful in the past. All he'd wanted to do was protect Ryo; to show him that he could cope and that there was no need for the equilibrium of their relationship to be upset by adverse events and yet far worse damage had been done.

How he wished he could turn back the clocks. He'd told Tyler he wanted Ryo back and he'd spoken nothing but the truth. Once he'd got this… this _misunderstanding_ cleared up, he was going to do just that, even if he had to drive all the way to Elena's. His mind then turned to his husband's headstrong role model and he found himself wondering what she was advising Ryo to do about their current situation. Would she tell Ryo to leave him? He hoped not.

A long time ago, Ryo had been upset on the anniversary of his parents' deaths and, pre-empting this difficult period as she had done every year since the tragedy, Elena had organised a get-together for them at her home – a celebration of her brother and sister-in-law's lives. As usual it had worked, and seeing those that he loved all together had successfully lifted Ryo's dark mood. Dee had communicated as much to Elena and was surprised to see her shake her head in response.

"It's you, you know."

"What d'you mean?"

She inclined her head towards the living room where Ryo and Carrie were laughing together over some old photographs of them as children. "You've done that and you don't even realise it."

Dee frowned, not sure he understood. Elena smiled.

"You made him laugh, made him _live_. Just look at him. Every year we've done this, but this is the first time I've seen him looking genuinely happy, like the past doesn't eat away at him like it once did. It's because of you, Dee, whether you realise it or not."

He smiled, a little embarrassed by her praise. "I didn't do anything special other than love him. I think I've always loved him."

"Even when he didn't love you back?"

"Even then."

She smiled as she laid a hand on his shoulder. "Then you were obviously meant to be together."

"You don't mind then?"

It was her turn to frown. "Mind what?"

"About Ryo being with a man. Believe me, not everyone is comfortable with the idea of their family members playing for the other team, so to speak."

The shaking of her head was emphatic. "How could we mind? Ryo is who he is. I'm just glad that he chose to be with _you_, Dee."

The dark-haired detective smiled genuinely this time, with no hint of embarrassment. "Well I guess that answers my question."

The sound of the door opening brought Dee out of his reverie. He watched as the cup of coffee was set down in front of him, said a quiet thanks, then briefly switched his thoughts back to Ryo to say a silent prayer that if Elena was still singing his praises, Ryo was choosing to listen.

He watched Mazowski slide a blank tape into the recorder on the side and set the machine going, before he turned around and sat down opposite his suspect. Mazowski and his partner had been nothing but civil despite their obvious awkwardness at the situation, giving Dee a sliver of hope that they hadn't completely written him off yet. Delaney entered, allowing the interview to begin.

"Detective McLain, for the record can you tell us what happened the night you met with Ms. Kelly Capland."

Dee knew the importance of being clear and concise – heaven knows he'd tripped up enough suspects in interviews when they'd been vague about any of the details of their statement. It didn't take long to run through the details – just as he'd done with Mazowski only a couple of days before. Delaney asked the next question when he'd finished.

"Did you go into Kelly Capland's apartment on that occasion?"

"No."

Dee noticed the subtle shifting of Mazowski's weight in his chair. This was it – he was going in for the kill.

"Detective McLain. Is there any way you can explain how your DNA and fingerprints have been found on things inside Ms. Capland's apartment?"

Dark eyebrows knitted together. "What things?"

"A cigarette packet and a smoked stub in the ashtray on her coffee table."

The frown gave way to a look of confusion. "The packet I can explain. I lit my last cigarette while we were outside talking. There were no trash cans around so Kelly offered to put it in the trash in her apartment for me. She took it off me before we parted."

"And the stub?"

Dee contemplated every possible scenario before he shook his head, beaten. "I can't explain that, but I never went inside the apartment. Were my fingerprints anywhere else? Any hairs, footprints?"

The other two detectives glanced at each other. "No," Delaney answered truthfully. "Nothing else."

It was obvious they hadn't wanted to admit something so obviously strange and their reaction was to push for more answers, Mazowski taking over where his partner had left off.

"Detective McLain, you mentioned you're on long-term sick leave at the moment. Can you tell us why?"

Dee stiffened. "I have type one diabetes. I was hospitalised because of a hyperglycaemic attack." He watched them nodding, their stoic expressions telling him they knew more. Clearly they'd been doing a lot of digging since Mazowski had first spoken to him.

"You were in the hospital some time. Is that normal for such an attack?"

His anger grew – they knew everything about him and now they had him pigeonholed as a mental case. "No, it isn't, but they were concerned about how I'd gotten so ill."

"And do they know now?"

Delaney wasn't prepared for the green-eyed glare he was suddenly faced with.

"You obviously know, so why don't you tell me?"

"Detective McLain, why don't you tell us why you tried to kill yourself," Mazowski asked, saving his partner from the death glare any longer.

Dee squeezed the cigarette packet he had been toying with momentarily and banged it on the table. "I _didn't_."

"We have a written statement from your psychiatrist confirming that you confessed to attempting suicide by deliberately withholding your insulin injections."

Dee stilled. They had his confession? The confession he had falsely made in order to get out of the psychiatric ward after his repeated protestations to the contrary had got him nowhere? He closed his eyes and let out a long, slow breath. "That confession is false. I didn't try to kill myself. I have _no_ idea how I ended up in that situation, but it _wasn't_ deliberate. I only confessed because they weren't gonna let me out any other way and if anything was gonna drive me crazy, it was being locked up in there when I didn't need to be."

The partners exchanged subtle glances. Mazowski spoke first.

"So you have no alternative explanation?"

Dee shook his head, wondering how many times this situation was going to frustrate him. If only Tyler could remember seeing him do his injection when she'd spent the evening with him. Tyler… or Laura? The thought set his mind in motion and he all but forgot the other two detectives were there. He was certain he'd done his evening injection in front of her, yet she hadn't backed him up. Suddenly the answer seemed obvious. She'd wanted everyone to doubt him. Maybe… The next thought faltered, seemingly too preposterous, before it warily found completion. Maybe she'd _had a hand_ in what had happened to him. His lack of insulin couldn't be explained, Tyler or Laura had shown that she wasn't who she said she was – why couldn't the two be linked? And if she was responsible for his situation, what was to stop her being guilty of attacking Kelly?

"Detective McLain? Do you have anything else you want to say?"

There was nothing else he could say that they'd want to hear. Things had clicked into place, but for him rather than them. "No… other than you're barking up the wrong tree."

Mazowski's expression hardened. "We'll see."

"Yeah? Surely you must be wondering why I'd come forward voluntarily if I'd done this?"

His eyes shot to Mazowski's partner just in time to catch the flicker of doubt pass across the younger man's expression. Maybe they didn't have him pigeonholed just yet. The older detective responded first, obviously not wanting to let Dee get under his skin.

"Indeed, and with respect, Detective McLain, it's just one of the many things about you that doesn't add up."

"Yeah? So what's my motive then?"

"Sexual," Delaney answered, drawing Dee's leaden gaze from the older man sitting next to him.

"_Sexual?_" Dee repeated with a slightly incredulous laugh. "Where the hell did you pull that one from?"

Mazowski clearly didn't appreciate his suspect finding humour in their theory. "When we first met, you told me you were gay, but that's not strictly true is it? You're bisexual, right?"

"Oh jeez," Dee said, rolling his eyes in disbelief. "You think I attacked a girl because of my choice of wording? Yeah I'm bisexual, but I'm married to a man for Christsakes! Is that not homosexual enough for you? When the hell did semantics constitute a decent motive anyway?"

He knew they were clutching at straws and it gave him confidence, despite his situation. He deliberately addressed Delaney, sensing that the younger of the two detectives was less comfortable with their current line of enquiry.

"Look," Dee said, continuing only when Delaney looked at him. "I think I know who might have done this. You're not the only ones who think things don't add up and trust me, I'm as determined to get to the bottom of it as you. I've lost my husband and I almost lost my life so I'm not gonna lose my freedom for something I haven't done. Just give me a couple of days and I'll give you some answers."

He studied the two men – the fact that they didn't protest immediately gave him some hope and he continued before they could voice any argument as to why they shouldn't listen to him.

"Come on, I'm not playing amateur detective here. This is _my_ profession too. Two days, that's all I ask."

Mazowski now found himself on the receiving end of the hard green-eyed glare and realised he was again re-evaluating his opinion of the man in front on him. Before he responded, he stood up and walked over to the tape recorder and switched it off.

"Fine," he replied, aware that Delaney was staring at him in disbelief. "You've got two days, but believe me, we're gonna be continuing our investigation and the _minute_ we get anything else on you, we'll be hauling your ass back in here, got it?"

Dee nodded, gauging from Delaney's reaction that Mazowski had done something very un-Mazowski-like by agreeing to his request.

"I hear you, and I appreciate you giving me the opportunity to pursue my own investigation."

Mazowski nodded. "Well, we'll see. You have two days."

Only when Dee was alone, locked in a cubicle of the precinct's men's room, did he allow his confident façade to slip. Sitting on the pan, he lowered his head into his hands, only to find the appendages were shaking.

"Jesus," he muttered, fumbling in his jacket pocket for his ever-present blood sugar monitoring kit. The finger prick test revealed he was low, the situation quickly remedied with a couple of glucose tablets, yet it did little to calm his shaking hands. A cigarette was his next possible solution and he hurried out of the building, determined to get some nicotine inside him as quickly as possible. It would surely help – but he knew it would only be a temporary solution. The only way to truly rectify things was to nail Tyler's ass, and soon.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Drake held his cell phone, the number dialled and ready to call. His thumb hovered over the call button, but he couldn't seem to find the willpower to actually press it. The pre-dialled number belonged to the pretty young thing he had been chatting to while waiting for JJ to pick him up after they'd split up to interview two separate witnesses in a shooting case. She'd written her number on his hand and told him to call, but so far the confidence had eluded him.

"Talk about chicken," he grumbled to himself, remembering a time not too long ago when he'd laughed at JJ for being shy around his new flame. "Okay, on the count of three. One… two…"

He never made three, the opening of the front door interrupting his count, much to his relief. The call could wait, for now at least.

"Hey, buddy. Been having fun?"

The dark-haired man looked over at him once he'd sufficiently fussed Bright as the dog circled at his feet.

"If you call being questioned on suspicion of attempted murder fun…"

"You're kidding, right?" Drake dropped his phone onto the couch beside him as he studied his friend's expression, only now realising that Dee looked pale and tense. "You're not kidding, are you?"

"Believe me, I wish I was," Dee replied, coming to sit in the armchair opposite his friend, knowing he had a very long story ahead of him.

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The immaculately-dressed waiter left once the two wine glasses had been sufficiently re-filled. Ryo watched him go, before his attention returned to the delicious steak in front of him.

"Are you having a good time?"

The blond looked up at his dinner guest and smiled. The food had been nothing short of excellent and he couldn't complain about the company, but something hadn't felt right and he knew exactly what it was. He didn't have the heart to tell her that he wished he were here with Dee instead; that they'd always spent each other's birthdays doing something special together, so instead he nodded.

"Oh yeah, wonderful. I'm so glad you suggested coming out."

Her smile changed to an all-out beam. "Me too. It's been a really good opportunity for us to finally spend some time together."

Ryo's own smile faltered a little in conjunction with the small frown that furrowed his brow. Laura didn't see it – her own eyes had returned to her meal, but Ryo noticed the faint blush on her cheeks. It seemed a funny comment to make and it was hard to know what to say in response. When she started up a conversation about the food, he let the thought go, putting it down to too much wine and a strange choice of wording.

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"No change," Delaney reported as he replaced the handset in its cradle. He'd rung the hospital for an update on Kelly's condition, hoping for some good news since the rest of the day had yielded exactly _nada_ in the good news department.

Mazowski nodded his head almost imperceptibly as he sat hunched over a stack of case files, the topmost one commanding all of his attention.

"Earth to Steve," Delaney said, leaning across the desk so he could wave his hand under the other man's nose.

"What?"

"Did you hear what I said?"

"Depends. Was it worth hearing?"

"No. Kelly's still unconscious and I'm starving. I'm gonna call at that Chinese takeaway with the cute girl behind the counter. You want me to pick you some up?"

Mazowski finally looked up. Diane probably would have cooked him something that would now be languishing in the oven, dried up and unpalatable. He hadn't called to say he would be late. She wouldn't be speaking to him anyway and Chinese sounded good.

"I'll come with you," he said decisively, standing and grabbing his jacket off the back of his seat. "It's time to call it a day."

Delaney grinned. "Good to hear it. I wasn't planning on coming back anyway."

They chatted about other cases as Mazowski drove them to the Chinese his partner had mentioned. Neither could remember the name of the establishment but as usual, it was rated by Delaney in terms of the attractiveness of the staff. Fortunately the food wasn't bad either. With delicious aromas seeping temptingly from the containers on Delaney's lap, Mazowski drove them to the other's apartment.

"Sure you don't wanna come in and eat?" Delaney asked once they had arrived and he was craning into the car, his order now separated from Mazowski's and balanced on top of his briefcase.

"Thanks for the offer but I'd better get back. I've probably got a fair bit of crawling to do."

Delaney grinned. "See? This is why I don't get married."

"Yeah, that and you haven't come across anyone stupid enough to ask you."

The younger man let the insult go, just pleased to see Mazowski finally smiling. His partner definitely found it harder to let go and accept that not everything could be solved in a day.

"Steve?"

"What?"

"You did the right thing today," Delaney said, his expression now serious. He knew his partner would know he was referring to the situation with McLain.

"You reckon?" the other man replied, scratching at a spot on his steering wheel. "I just hope we haven't given him two days in order for him to cover his tracks."

Delaney gave him a reassuring smile as he patted the roof of the car. "You worry too much, Steve. No wonder you're going bald."

"Yeah? So what's your excuse for being ugly, huh?"

Delaney stepped back onto the sidewalk and picked up his briefcase with his Chinese meal still balanced precariously on top. "You're breaking my heart, Steve. Now get outta here. My chow mein's getting cold."

He watched Mazowski drive off, wishing that the other man wasn't so burdened by the fact that he had let a suspect walk away. He, Delaney, had a strong feeling that they would find out the truth one way or another. They just had to be patient.

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"So they've given you two days?"

Dee nodded as he leaned forward to stub his cigarette out. Drake had listened patiently to everything he had to say on the current problem. Hopefully now his friend would want to be part of the solution.

"So what've you got in mind? D'you think you can get Tyler to confess if you let her know you're onto her?"

The shake of his head was resolute. "I don't think that's an option. She's gone to some extreme lengths so far. I don't think she's gonna just put her hands up and say 'you know what? You're right. It was me.'"

"Good point," Drake acknowledged, still reeling from the revelation that Dee's so-called friend might have tried to kill him. "Shit, she's fucking crazy."

"Maybe. Either way, I gotta get to the bottom of this, and since a confession's not likely I'm thinking I'm gonna have to trick it out of her... somehow."

Drake looked thoughtful. "No angle yet, huh?"

"Nope. All suggestions greatly received."

The other man smiled. "Trust me, buddy I'm thinking. We gotta get you out of this mess."

Drake's choice of wording gave Dee a small boost – at least he didn't have to tackle this alone. They talked some more, but no real conclusions were reached and eventually, worn out by their respectively busy days, they settled down to a takeaway and a movie, agreeing to start afresh in the morning. Bicky rang later, to check how Dee was and inform the other man that he was leaving for camp in the morning and would be gone for three days. Dee didn't mention the other detectives' interest in him, instead reassuring the boy that his investigation into Tyler's real identity was progressing well.

After Drake's mood-brightening declaration of support earlier, having to lie to Bicky left him feeling low, then devastated when the boy reminded him of something that, in the ensuing chaos of being questioned, he had completely forgotten – Ryo's birthday.

He tried the apartment, and then Ryo's cell phone as soon as he got off the phone from Bicky, but neither brought him into contact with his lover. He contemplated sending a text message, but deemed it too impersonal and inadequate considering how he felt about the man in question. Maybe it was for the best that he hadn't gotten to speak to him. He certainly didn't want Ryo to know that he was the prime suspect in an attempted murder case. He retired to bed unhappy with no Ryo and no answer to his current problem, unaware that one of those situations would have changed before the night was out.

The clock was showing three nineteen when Dee's bedroom door flew open and Drake rushed in and started to shake the sleeping occupant by the shoulders.

"Dee! Dee! I got it!"

Dragged from slumber by this rudest of awakenings, Dee blinked until Drake was no longer surrounded by the fuzzy aura associated with post-sleep vision.

"Got what?" he answered groggily, "Jeez, buddy, you scared the shit outta me…"

"About Tyler!" Drake yelled, or at least it felt like yelling in Dee's fogged mind. The frantic man also seemed oblivious to the fact that he was still shaking his friend vigorously.

"Okay, okay, but let me go for Christsakes!" He scooted up the bed and scrubbed the sleep from his eyes, hoping the action would simultaneously clear his mind. "I'm guessing it's good since you woke me at…" He glanced quickly at the clock. "… twenty past three in the morning to tell me."

Drake's grin confirmed it as he paced in front of his friend. "Oh this is good, trust me. Two words: Waylan Anderson."

Confusion drew Dee's features into a sharp frown. "Excuse me?"

"Waylan Anderson? Serial killer and sick bastard extraordinaire?"

"Like I could forget…"

"The recent investigations. The remains found at the new sites Anderson told us about. When I looked through the files of missing persons that vanished around the same time Anderson committed the murders here in New York, there was one that could have been left out – Tyler Brown. I forgot to take her file out and it went to the lab with the rest of them."

Dee opened his mouth to speak but Drake stopped him as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "We've made a positive ID on the remains – it's not her, but forgetting to take her file out got me thinking. What _if_ it had been her? Your mystery impostor couldn't carry on pretending to be Tyler then, so if we can get her to admit who she really is and that she's a lying, scheming bitch, the Fourteenth Precinct's lot will realise they've got a better suspect in her than you. You said she and the attacked girl know each other, right?"

"Yeah, apparently so." He couldn't deny it – Drake's enthusiasm was contagious, and there was definitely merit in his plan. If she thought the real Tyler had been found dead, she'd have to break her cover. They'd found the perfect way to flush her out.

"So what d'you think?"

Dee nodded thoughtfully. "I think it's worth a try."

"Am I a genius or what?"

The dark-haired man now laughed. "Yeah, you're a regular Einstein, Parker."

"Wanna work out some details?"

Dee glanced at the clock again, the glowing digits now proclaiming that it was three twenty four. He doubted he'd be able to get back to sleep now anyway. "Sure, why not. Sleep is for the weak, huh?"

Drake winked as he bounced off the bed. "That's my boy! I'll get the coffee on." He stopped at the door and grinned, his energy drawn from the buzz of finally forming a plan. "We've got her, Dee."

The man in the bed stared after his friend once he'd gone, the thought occurring to him that this was possibly just some crazy, albeit incredibly vivid dream. Dream or not, he decided to go along with it and, with the aroma of coffee starting to waft in from the kitchen, he climbed out of bed, grabbing his cigarettes as he headed to the door.

TBC…


	23. Deadly Affection

**Author's note – I know, I know – this chapter's been a very long time coming (believe me, I've been told enough times!). There's only two or three chapters left so I hope you'll stick with me for the final showdown. Many, many thanks to Peacewish and to BlueSimplicity who gave me an honest opinion and helped shape this chapter into something I was (eventually) pleased with. I hope you all enjoy it! Until the next update - Swordy**

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 22 – Deadly Affection

Ryo awoke to the sounds and smells of breakfast being prepared. He lay there for several long minutes, smiling at the sound of singing that now joined the other kitchen noises. Tyler sounded so happy, and positive vibes were what he needed right now. Not hearing from Dee on his birthday had been something of a setback, but he was still resolute about wanting his lover back. Tyler would surely be pleased to hear of his decision and a little encouragement in the face of yesterday's disappointment would be very welcome. Thinking there was no time like the present, he pushed back the covers and swung his legs out of bed.

"Morning, Randy," Laura chirped, her expression brightening further seeing him up and about. "Sorry, did I wake you?"

He slid into an empty chair at the kitchen table, briefly glancing at the newspaper she had laid out for him. "Not at all. Bicky popped in to say bye before he left for camp. I must have dozed off again but I wasn't really asleep."

She smiled, loving his tousled hair and lightly stubbled face. "Well, your timing is _perfect_. I just made your favourite."

"Wow, it's not my birthday again today is it?"

Once he was furnished with eggs and French toast Laura sat down opposite and began to pour him some tea. "It doesn't have to be a special day to treat you how you deserve to be treated, does it?"

He smiled around a mouthful of eggs. They were damn good, but Dee was known to make a pretty mean breakfast too. "Well it's sweet of you to say so, Tyler. Are you not eating?" He nodded in the direction of her empty plate.

"Oh me? I've already eaten." She dismissed his concern with a wave of her hand, gesturing back to the food in front of him. "I had mine earlier so I could concentrate on making yours."

Deciding now was the time to tell her what he had decided to do about Dee, he opened his mouth to speak, but Laura gestured for him to stop. "I've told you, you just concentrate on you. We can talk all you want when you've eaten."

Not wanting to offend her, he turned his attention back to his breakfast and the paper in front of him. He knew that the girl was still watching him, a fact that made it strangely difficult for him to concentrate on either.

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The ashtray bore testimony to their all-night planning session. Overflowing with cigarette butts it threatened to spill its contents on the table already laden with coffee cups and scrawled notes. The mess was worth it.

"So you can get the wire?" Dee asked, scratching Bright's head as the dog sat with his head resting on his knee. Across the table Drake nodded.

"Shouldn't be a problem. JJ has a buddy that works in surveillance. He can get us the equipment, no questions asked."

"Good. If we can get it for this afternoon, I can go round in the evening when Ryo's at work."

"And while you're there I'll ring and leave the answering machine message for Ryo to say that the remains have been identified as Tyler's."

"That's the plan. And I'll be there for her reaction."

Drake grinned as he ran a hand through his already messy hair. "That should make for an interesting conversation if nothing else."

Dee's reaction was slightly more reserved. "So long as we get some evidence that interests the detectives at the Fourteenth…"

"What about Ryo? Do you think you should warn him?"

Dee looked thoughtful. If he was right in his suspicions about his insulin then Laura was dangerous, but if all her efforts were to get to Ryo then he was surely safe. Bicky might have been warned had he not been away at camp.

"No, I don't think we need to warn Ryo, but I'd planned on ringing him today anyway. I'll mention her, see if he has any suspicions himself. What time's his shift?"

"The schedule said five but I'll double check when I go in."

Silence descended with nothing more to be clarified. The plans were laid – what remained to be seen was whether they were as good in practice as they were in theory.

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Detective Steve Mazowski was definitely on edge. Delaney could recognise the signs as confidently as he knew that he should have left the six pack in his refrigerator well alone when he got in from work last night. Hangovers were a bitch when you were on an early shift, but it was a lesson he was unlikely to learn no matter how many times it was repeated. Still, watching his partner fiddle with the many items on his well-ordered desk was enough to take his mind off his abused body. He knew what Mazowski's problem was. The captain had asked to be updated on their current cases and his by-the-book partner was not relishing the idea of having to explain that they'd let their main suspect go so that he could, in essence, do their job for them.

"Penny for them, Steve?" It was a stupid question, but it broke the silence.

Mazowski toyed with his pen before looking up at Delaney. The younger man was wearing the worst shirt and tie combination he'd ever seen.

"Just thinking about what we should prioritise this morning… and wondering where the hell you got that tie."

Delaney grinned, despite the action taunting his headache further. "Which would you like me to answer first?"

The older man shrugged, still scratching at his pad with the pen. "The first one. I'm not sure I wanna know the answer to the second."

Delaney briefly fingered his tie. "And to think I was gonna buy you one of these for Christmas." He let the strip of cloth go before unearthing a bulging file from the stack on his desk and passing it across to Mazowski. "I think we should go follow up those new leads from the Porter case. The first couple look really promising."

Mazowski let the file drop to his desk, then moved it so that it was neat, the bottom edge lining up with the edge of the desk. "What about our attempted murder case?"

Delaney sighed as his partner went back to toying with the many stationery items positioned around his computer. He wondered when Mazowski had last taken a vacation. "Awww, Steve. Don't make me take your pens off you. I told you, McLain will call. He's not stupid – he knows if he doesn't check in with us then we'll haul him straight back in here."

"Well until he does," Mazowski said pointedly, "I'm keeping my pens."

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Drake went to work, leaving Dee to clear away the detritus of their prolonged breakfast while Bright trotted in and out of the kitchen, proudly carrying the squeaky toy Drake had bought for him from the store. Seeing the odd-coloured eyes looking up at him hopefully, Dee stopped what he was doing, dropped to his haunches and held his hand out to the approaching canine.

"Hey, fella. Today's the day, huh? Make or break. Maybe at the end of it all we'll get to go home."

The dog cocked his head, evidently finding familiarity in one of the words Dee had used. He sat patiently while Dee got dressed, hopeful that the routine would extend to his master putting on his coat – one of the best indications that he might be about to be taken for a walk. He was in luck. Once ready, Dee fetched the dog's leash and they headed out, figuring that the fresh air would do them both some good.

With Bright a satisfied customer there was little to do until Drake returned with the equipment they needed to trap Laura. Dee decided to make some phone calls, dialling first the number he had written on a scrap of paper.

"Detective Delaney speaking."

Dee was glad the younger man answered – of the two investigating Kelly Capland's attack, he seemed the least confident that they had the right man in the frame.

"It's Dee McLain. I'm calling to update you on my activities, as you requested." His tone was firm but not defensive; businesslike as if they were colleagues sharing information.

"Okay… shoot."

Dee explained his plan as the other man made appropriate noises to show he was listening. A couple of times he heard the scratching of pen on paper - presumably Delaney was writing everything down.

"So you think she'll confess?"

"Obviously that'd be the best outcome, but to be honest I doubt it'll be that easy. I think the best I can hope for is that hearing that the real Tyler is dead will unsettle her enough to slip up and incriminate herself. And even if she doesn't, you might want to move straight in and question her about Kelly Capland."

"Uh huh. We called round to speak to her after we'd seen you, but she wasn't in. Seems like she's a pretty hard person to track down. Mazowski wanted to try again today, but we'll wait until you've done your bit."

"Good." It was a positive step that they were prepared to work with him, but Dee didn't doubt for a minute that they were still looking for conclusive evidence against him as well. "I'll call you back when I have something."

"Better still, why don't you patch us in to your transmission. Then we can hear it straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak."

He'd expected this – certainly it wasn't an unreasonable request. "I won't know if that's possible until my colleague's brought the equipment. The device may be capable of recording only."

"Okay. Well, if it is, call me back and I'll see what I can do. Our equipment budget stinks, but I'm pretty sure we can rustle something up if need be."

When Dee ended the call he didn't put his cell phone down. There was one last call he wanted to make, and there was no time like the present…

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Ryo juggled the bags of groceries to find his keys, eventually locating them, but before he could use them, the door opened.

"Heard you coming," Laura said with a broad smile. "Here, let me help."

"Thanks," Ryo replied as he gave her one of the bags and kicked the door closed with the heel of his boot. Laura was already in the kitchen when the phone started to ring.

"I'll get it," Ryo announced, seeing the cordless handset was on the table he'd just passed. He manoeuvred the remaining bags into his left hand and snatched up the device.

"Hey, Ryo."

"Dee," he exclaimed as he handed the bags over to Laura who had emerged from the kitchen. He missed her scowl as he announced the identity of the caller. "It's good to hear from you."

"I'm glad you say that. I thought you might not want to speak to me since I missed your birthday yesterday. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Ryo found himself saying, despite the fact that he'd intended to voice his disappointment. Hearing Dee's voice wrecked that plan.

"No, it's not. I'm not making excuses, but, well, yesterday was pretty tough – I wasn't exactly thinking straight. By the time I realised what date it was, your cell phone was switched off when I tried to call and there was no answer at home."

Ryo cradled the phone in the crook of his neck as he shrugged out of his jacket. "Yeah, I was out. Me and Tyler just grabbed something to eat."

"Great." There was a pause before Dee's voice came back on the line. "Look, Ryo. I miss you so much. Can we get together to talk? We can't keep going like this, can we?"

Ryo looked up to see Laura watching him intently from the kitchen. "Hang on," he told Dee before covering the mouthpiece and informing the waiting girl that he would be with her shortly. He moved into the bedroom and closed the door, unaware that the girl now simmered with resentment at his description of their first date as 'just grabbing something to eat'.

Ryo sat down on the bed, the phone still clutched to his ear. "Okay, I was just getting a little privacy."

"From Bicky?"

"No, he's still at camp. Tyler's here."

_Her name's Laura_, Dee thought but said nothing. "So what d'you think about us getting together to talk? You can say if you think it's a bad idea."

Ryo found his heart surging with relief as he rushed to allay Dee's concerns. This was his birthday present – albeit a day late. "I think it's a great idea, Dee. I'd love to. I've missed you so much. I don't want to be without you anymore, but I've been scared that you didn't feel the same."

"Trust me, Ryo. I want it more than anything."

Ryo smiled and lay back on the bed, his free hand tracing the patterns on the bedding he had changed just that morning. "So when do you want to meet? I'm in work tonight but I'm free tomorrow. How about you?"

"Well since I'm still officially off work sick, my calendar isn't exactly bulging. Tomorrow sounds great, but where?"

"Do you want to come over for dinner?"

"What about Tyler?" Dee had no idea how he'd managed to stop himself from using the girl's real name.

"I'll ask her if she'd mind going out for the evening. It shouldn't be a problem."

The mention of the girl provided Dee with the opening he needed. "Uh, Ryo? Is Tyler okay? She's not…" he paused, wondering how best to phrase it, "giving you a hard time or anything?"

Ryo's smiled turned into a frown. "No, why?"

"I dunno… she's changed a lot. Let's just say she's not quite who I thought she was."

It was the wrong thing to say. The scathing tone of his voice incensed the man who only saw all that the girl had done for him during this difficult period in his life.

"Don't badmouth her, Dee. Tyler's been an absolute Godsend these past few weeks. You should thank her – if it wasn't for her then I'd have spent my birthday alone."

He desperately wanted to tell Ryo everything, but stopped short. His lover wanted them to meet up to try and rescue their relationship and he didn't want to jeopardise that by offending him. Ryo would know the truth soon enough.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. That was thoughtless of me. Look, I'll see you tomorrow night, okay?"

"Sure," Ryo replied, his anger dissipating with Dee's apology. "Come over at eight."

"I'm looking forward to it."

Ryo's smile returned on hearing the sincerity in his lover's voice. "Me too." The words then tumbled from his mouth without hesitation. "I love you, Dee."

"You too, baby."

The blond ended the call and lay the handset on his chest, the immediate rise and fall motion maintaining his attention until there was a knock at the door.

"Uh, Randy?"

He was amused that he jumped, having been so wrapped up in his thoughts of Dee and the first positive step they had just taken. He caught the phone as it fell from his chest when he stood up.

"Sorry about that," he said as he opened the door to her concerned expression.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, scrutinising him to gauge his reaction to Dee's call.

"Yeah, things are good." His smile quickly broke into a grin. "Great even. I may be being wildly optimistic but I think me and Dee could be back on track real soon. We're meeting tomorrow night to talk. He said he misses me and that he wants us back together more than anything in the world."

Lost in his elation he was unprepared for her reaction – expression like stone, lips pinched tightly until she started to speak. "I think you're making a really big mistake, Randy."

Ryo blinked in astonishment. "I'm sorry?"

"You and Dee getting back together. You're clearly not right for each other. I just think you're setting yourself up for more heartache further down the line." She put a hand to her head, as if she was getting a headache. "I mean, look at everything he's put you through. He tried to kill himself for God's sake! He can't love you that much if he tried something that would cause you so much pain."

Ryo knew he was gaping like a fish, floundering for a response to this unexpected tirade. "That's why we need to talk, so we can understand everything that's happened and work through it."

"Listen to you! You're always making excuses for him!"

Ryo shook his head. "Tyler… I appreciate your concern, but this is what I want – what Dee wants. Sure, things have been rough recently, but I've never stopped loving him and I'm certain he feels the same. If we both want the same thing then how can it be a mistake?"

"Because… because _we_ should be together. Me and you."

Ryo was completely stunned. How could he respond to that? In the end he didn't need to as Laura began to explain her reasoning. "Can't you feel it, Randy? We _belong_ together." She reached out and grasped his hand. "You're straight, Randy. I know it even if you can't see it. You're living a lie. I know you care about Dee, but it's not love – not the kind of love that we have. I know you love me too, Randy, and I can understand that you don't want to hurt Dee after everything he's been through, but don't you deserve some happiness too? You've gone along with what he wanted for long enough."

"Tyler, I…"

"We could go away together, take time to really get to know each other…" She stepped towards him, the distance between them now intimate.

"Tyler." Ryo was firmer this time as he pulled his hand free from Laura's grasp and moved back. "I'm sorry if I've misled you in any way, but Dee's the one I love. I'm gay, Tyler. I asked Dee to marry _me_, not the other way round. I proposed to him because he's the only person I want to be with. I'm sorry, but that's the truth."

Laura opened her mouth to respond, stopped, then lowered her head. The time wasn't right. He was too wrapped up in pandering to his idiot partner to see what was best for him. If he could, she knew that he would realise that it was her he should be with. She would wait a bit, talk to him again later.

"I'm sorry, Randy." She gave him a weak smile and pushed a hand through her hair. "God, I can't believe what a fool I've just made of myself. I just… well I…"

"It's okay." Ryo replied, seeing she obviously felt embarrassed about her strong words. Despite the shock admission of her feelings, his good mood inclined him to forgiveness. "I'm very flattered and I'm sorry to disappoint you like this. With regards to me and Dee I appreciate your concern, but you really don't need to worry. I know what I'm doing."

She nodded and smiled, more genuinely this time. She couldn't stay angry with him, even if he was deluded. "Thanks for being so sweet about it. I'll start getting my stuff together…"

He frowned. "What for?"

"To move out." She gave a humourless laugh. "If I hadn't overstayed my welcome before then I certainly have now."

"That's not necessary," Ryo reassured her, although he knew he'd be lying if he said her revelation hadn't made things awkward between them.

"No, no. It's time I moved on anyway. Besides," she looked straight at him and smiled brightly, "you and Dee will need to be alone if you're gonna work things out."

Ryo smiled and nodded, bemused at how she was giving his and Dee's relationship her blessing when moments earlier she'd been declaring her undying love for him. It occurred to him that maybe this was what Dee had meant when he'd asked if she was giving him a hard time, and he resolved to speak to his lover about it when they met up tomorrow.

"Well I only want you to move on when you feel ready, and we'll be there for you if you need help finding somewhere."

"Thanks." Silence followed, which quickly became awkward. She was first to break it. "Well, I guess I should get on with lunch."

"Okay, but I'll help."

She looked about to agree when her face suddenly fell. "Oh no."

Ryo looked concerned, baffled by the girl's rapidly shifting moods. "What?"

"I forgot to ask you to pick up some eggs at the store. I used the last of them this morning. I wanted to make a Spanish omelette – it's my speciality. Crap… I've prepared the rest of the ingredients now." It was a lie, but she knew it would achieve the right response from the detective.

"Don't worry, I'll go back to the store," Ryo said, pulling his keys from his pocket.

"Are you sure you don't mind?"

"And miss out on Spanish omelette? How could I possibly mind?" Despite his smile, he was relieved at being given the opportunity to get away from her for even just a few minutes – give him time to get his head around what had just happened.

She laughed, all trace of her previously awkwardness gone. "I better make it a good one then."

She waited until he'd definitely gone before hurrying to her room and dragging a canvas sports bag out from under her bed. She was completely focussed – her mind made up about what she had to do and she didn't have much time.

"It has to be this way, Randy. I did try to make you listen, I really did."

She tipped the bag upside down, watching as its contents spilled out onto the floor, rattling noisily as the bottles and packets fell. She picked up the first small vial and read the label on the side. They were her pills, prescribed by some quack who'd tried to understand her. He'd said she was depressed. She'd never taken any of them yet for some unknown reason she hadn't thrown them away. Next she picked up a packet of sleeping pills that had been Dee's, prescribed according to Randy, when he'd had trouble getting adequate rest after his kidnapping ordeal. She'd volunteered to get rid of them after Randy had expressed his concern about keeping them in the house. That had been when he'd thought Dee would return home from hospital after his failed suicide attempt. As it had transpired, Dee had gone to stay at Drake's following his release, but Randy had still seemed grateful when she'd informed him that she'd disposed of the pills.

Along with a quantity of regular painkillers she had taken from the bathroom cabinet she figured she had enough to achieve her aim. She'd always hoped she wouldn't have to resort to something as drastic as this, but at the back of her mind it had always been an option if things hadn't gone her way. If they couldn't be together in this life, then she'd speed up their passage to the next.

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Lori Hanson dumped her bags at her feet before depositing a small stack of mail on the table next to the phone. She frowned as she caught sight of her hand, in particular the couple of chips in her otherwise perfectly varnished nails. That would need redoing before she went to work later on. Her boss had insisted she take the day off since they had only just stepped off the flight from DC, where they'd been attending a two day conference, but time off wasn't the way to get yourself noticed and win a promotion. Insisting she needed only a couple of hours to freshen up before she could be back in the office was a sure fire way to score points and her boss had definitely looked impressed before they had parted company at JFK.

She smiled at her reflection in the mirror, this trip having increased her confidence that she would be more that a lowly personal assistant by the end of the year. She was surely marked out for great things and never once had she had to use her good looks to get it, not that some at Henderson's believed it. Laura Burns's face swam into view at that particular thought, reminding her of the phone message she'd left on her colleague's answering machine just before she'd gone on the business trip. She wondered what Kelly had done with the information she'd unearthed. Hopefully the younger girl would be in work, enabling her to find out if that crazy bitch Laura had got what she deserved. That thought earned a smile. She couldn't wait to hear all about it.

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Dee moved from the window after finding no comfort in the mechanical ebb and flow of the downtown traffic. The last time he'd felt this restless was his wedding day; excited and yet nervous as the hours counted down to the moment he would pledge his devotion to Ryo. _Forever_, he'd said and meant it. He hadn't forgotten his words, spoken at the close of their wedding day, and if anything, his promises resonated more now than when their union had seemed unbreakable. If they could emerge from this mess still in love then forever didn't seem so impossible.

Bright stirred, alerting Dee to the fact that Drake was home. True to the dog's sharp senses, the door opened and the man stepped into the apartment, smiling when his eyes found his friend.

"I got it," he announced before Dee could say anything.

"Great."

Drake laid the featureless black briefcase on the back of the couch but didn't open it. "Having second thoughts? I'm sensing a lack of enthusiasm here."

Dee offered him a weary smile as Bright wandered over to Drake, sniffing first at the man and then the case. "Nah, it's nothing. It's still the best hope I've got. I just need to get everything sorted before tomorrow."

"What's tomorrow?"

"I'm having dinner with Ryo."

Drake grinned like a madman as he watched Dee light a cigarette and draw on it heavily. "That's great news! You rang him, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Did you ask him about Tyler?" Drake frowned. "Laura, I mean."

"Yeah, but he got a little snippy and since we were getting on I decided to leave it. Obviously she's still treating him like royalty, so he doesn't see a problem. It's gonna come as one hell of a shock when he finds out she isn't who she says she is."

"Yeah, but how was he to know? She had everyone fooled."

"Including me," Dee replied flatly. "Some fucking detective I turned out to be."

"Whoah, tiger." Drake stared at his friend intently until the other man looked up. "You're a damned good detective, Dee. You couldn't have known. Jesus, the girl certainly did her homework."

Dee acknowledged Drake's comment with a nod before blowing out a long stream of smoke. With everything that had happened, he'd had little time to contemplate how much trouble Laura Burns had actually gone to in order to pass herself off as his long lost friend. She'd said things that had convinced him she was the real Tyler Brown; intimate things that had blinded him to the discrepancies that exposed her deception. It had taken Bicky and Cal to notice them, and that didn't sit easy with him as a detective. He was fairly certain he would be berating himself over this for a long time to come, but now he needed to stay focused. When he spoke again, it was on a different matter.

"I also called the guys at the Fourteenth. They've asked if the gear you've brought can transmit rather than just record. I think they wanna listen in, make sure I'm not strong arming Laura into a confession."

"Are you okay with that?"

"I don't think I have much choice." He moved, but only to stub out his cigarette in the ashtray on Drake's coffee table. "They want in. They're probably getting twitchy that they're not doing anything."

Still listening, Drake snapped the catches and opened the briefcase, looking over its contents before he replied. "It'll transmit. JJ's contact was repaying a favour so he says he's given me the best stuff they had."

Dee quirked an eyebrow as he joined Drake in looking over the equipment. "He loaned this, no questions?"

"Yeah. I guess he's a trusting kind of guy."

"Either that, or he owes JJ big time."

Drake made a face. "And that I ain't gonna think about." When he couldn't raise a smile from his friend and colleague, he dropped the humour. "It'll be okay, Dee. A brief chat and the boys from the Fourteenth will be off your back, she'll be long gone and the Dee and Ryo show can resume normal service."

"You make it sound so simple." Dee knew it wasn't like him to be so pessimistic but if the truth be told, he had a bad feeling that he couldn't pinpoint. Maybe he should have let Ryo in on what they were doing. He glanced at his watch. Ryo would be in work soon so he needn't worry about him.

"Come on," Drake said, breaking into his thoughts. "I'll show you how this all works, then you can call those detectives and ask them if they still want to be in on the party."

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Two hours later Lori and her repainted nails were negotiating the revolving doors into Henderson's. Mark, her boss, probably wasn't back in the office yet, making her look even more incredibly efficient than she'd intended. She could check his mail and phone messages and start typing up those reports, despite the fact that Mark had said there was no rush for them.

There was a girl on reception that she didn't recognise and most people were on their lunch breaks, so other than a brief smile of greeting she hurried on up to the twentieth floor without stopping to speak to anyone. Checking the emails took the best part of an hour when she came across several things that needed dealing with urgently. Mark arrived shortly after she'd started on the reports.

"Lori, didn't I tell you to stay home?"

She smiled sweetly, her hands poised above the computer keyboard. "I got a little rest. I've prioritised your messages for you. You need to call Paul Davies first – he's left two messages and he's waiting for your answer on those quotes."

"Fine," Mark said, draping his jacket over the back of the empty chair across from her desk. "I'll call him so long as you do me a favour."

"Sure."

"Go get yourself some lunch."

She quirked an eyebrow, the action both humorous and flirtatious. "How'd you know I haven't had any already?"

"Here." He handed her a ten dollar bill, ignoring her attempts to distract him. "I'll have ham salad on rye. But don't rush back – I'll be on with Paul Davies for a while so make sure you get a proper lunch break, okay?"

"Okay." She saved the documents she was working on and accepted her jacket, which he was holding out for her. "I'll be back in twenty minutes."

"Thirty and you've got yourself a deal."

She'd bought the sandwiches from the local deli and was back inside Henderson's when she saw someone worth stopping to talk to. Knowing her boss would only chew her out for not taking long enough, she changed direction. Shelley knew Kelly Capland and would probably know if something had happened. She waved when Shelley saw her and was surprised when the girl rushed over, her features pulled into a deep frown.

"Lori, when did you get back?"

"Just before. Landed early this morning and went home for a couple of hours before I came in."

She'd barely finished her sentence when Shelley cut her off. "Have you heard about Kelly?"

Lori shook her head, alarmed at how frantic the usually easygoing girl had become at seeing her. "No, why, what's happened?"

"She's in hospital, fighting for her life. Someone tried to kill her!"

It took Lori a moment to process the information. "Someone tried to kill her? Who?"

Shelley put a hand to her head. "I don't know. The police aren't giving any information to anyone who's not family. It's horrible, no one knows what's going on."

It had to be Laura, _had to be_, and if no arrests had been made then Lori figured that the cops didn't know about Kelly and Laura.

"Which hospital is she at?"

"All Saints."

"Thanks." She turned and hurried away, her thoughts rapidly on Kelly. Laura had to have found out that she'd been discovered, and for that she felt responsible. Mark looked up from his desk when she came into the office.

"I thought I said…" he started with a grin.

"I know, but something's come up."

She was obviously upset, prompting Mark to put his pen down and give her his full attention. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She looked pained as she clutched their lunch in a brown paper bag. "I can't – not just yet anyway. I need to make some calls."

He nodded. "Well take all the time you want and if you need to leave, then go right ahead.

Ten minutes later she'd called the hospital and got a somewhat depressing update on her colleague's condition. More importantly than that however, she'd got the name and a number of the detectives working the case. She tried the number with shaking fingers, but found the line constantly busy. A second and third attempt resulted in the same frustrating response. After that final unsuccessful attempt, she made a decision.

"Mark?"

"Yup?"

"Is it alright if I leave?"

He looked up from his work to meet her concerned expression. "You don't need to ask, Lori. Go do whatever you have to and call me if you're not going to be in tomorrow."

"I'll be in," she assured. "And thanks." She quickly returned to her desk to shut down her computer, double checking the address she had scribbled down on some paper before she shoved it in her bag and hurried from the office, her own sandwich still sitting untouched on her desk.

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True to her word, Laura made a mean Spanish omelette, although Ryo found it very heavily seasoned, unaware that it was deliberately masking the large quantity of sleeping pills she had doctored it with. She sat across from him smiling and joking, their earlier altercation seemingly forgotten. She encouraged Ryo to eat everything she provided, and, eager to make amends seeing how pleased it made her, he did just that.

Twenty minutes had elapsed before Ryo started to feel the effects of his heavily drugged meal. He was in the process of dressing for work but found that his fingers were clumsy and unable to tie his tie. His reflection frowned back at him in the mirror as he flexed the sluggish digits before trying again, but to no avail. Suddenly he felt the need to sit down. He was alarmed by the fact that he staggered as he made his way over to his bed, almost falling onto the furniture when he got there.

Laura obviously heard the thud as she hurried in, a concerned expression on her face.

"Randy? Is something the matter?"

She crouched in front of him, waiting for him to lift his head out of his hands. When he did, she saw the heavy glaze of his eyes. He offered her a weak smile.

"I don't feel so good, Tyler. I don't know what's wrong with me – I've just come over all dizzy and my body feels like I've been weighed down. Jesus -" He tried to wipe a hand across his face. "I feel like I've been drugged."

"My God," she replied, acting suitably surprised. "Should I call the doctor?"

He lazily waved off her concern, eyes closing in long, slow blinks. "I'll be okay."

"Look, I'll get you a glass of water. You just lie back for a minute."

She pushed him gently and in his drugged state he was powerless to resist. "I'll be late for work," he mumbled, already half asleep now sprawled across his bed.

"Ssshhhh. You just rest now. It'll all be over soon." She watched him for a moment before silently slipping from the room, a satisfied smile painted on her face.

She had some suicide notes to write.

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"Can you see it?"

Drake cocked his head to one side, contemplating Dee's question. "Not from the front. Turn around so I can see if you can see it from the back."

Dee did as he was told and waited to see if his colleague could see the wire that they had taped to his body. The bulk of the equipment was tucked into the waistband of his jeans but with his denim jacket - the one that Ryo had bought him for his birthday – on over the top of his t-shirt, there was nothing the naked eye could see that would arouse the girl's suspicion. He would activate it before he got inside the apartment, transmitting everything from that point to Drake who had set up the receiving equipment on his kitchen table. Dee had contacted the detectives from the Fourteenth precinct and informed them that he would be leaving in a few hours. They were due any time.

"So what now?" Drake asked, confident that they were ready.

"Food. I need to check my blood sugar levels then get something to eat. I don't want to be losing focus because I can't concentrate."

Drake nodded as he scratched Bright's ears, the dog comically leaning so far into the action that he eventually lost balance and fell over. "Sure thing, buddy."

They prepared some lunch together after Dee had done his insulin. Conversation was limited, but once they were seated, Dee broke the silence.

"I really appreciate all you've done for me, Parker. I honestly don't think I'd be in any state to sort this whole sorry mess out without your support."

Drake grinned as he handed Dee a plate. "Don't mention it. I know you'd do the same for me if my life was half as interesting as yours."

Dee smiled. "You know, once this is all over, I'm gonna take Ryo somewhere beautiful. Somewhere near the sea, where we can be alone together."

Drake nodded approvingly. "Sounds ideal. I'm sure Ryo'll jump at the chance to get away with you."

"You think?"

"Definitely. Look, I know things have been tough, Dee, but he's never stopped loving you, I swear. He was really upset that I let you come and stay here when you came out of hospital. I guess he thought that if you had nowhere to go, you'd go back home and you could work things out."

Dee stared for a moment, as his mind did a playback of that particular period of time. "Then why the hell didn't he just tell me he wanted me to come home?" He shook his head sadly. "I just don't get it. It's like what we were thinking and what we were saying were two completely different things."

"Chinese whispers," Drake mused.

Dee looked at him. "What?"

"Chinese whispers. You know, when the story gets distorted along the way as it's passed between people."

Dee suddenly realised what he was getting at. For months they'd been communicating with Laura as a go-between. Knowing what he knew now, it was obvious that his thoughts and feelings about the state of their relationship would not have been transmitted accurately to his lover, and probably vice versa. That begged the question about how much of their current situation could have been avoided if they'd just ignored her and talked face to face. Despite their pain, they'd have been able to see the love they still had for each other, a fact that would certainly have influenced their actions. Staying apart had enabled them – with Laura's help of course – to convince themselves that being together was a recipe for disaster. He could feel his anger growing – she certainly had a lot of questions to answer.

"I'm guessing you've got a lot you'll want to say to her," Drake said, apparently reading Dee's mind from the serious expression on his face. "But make sure that doesn't distract you from getting the evidence you need."

"I know what I have to do – this is ultimately about Kelly's attack after all," the dark-haired man said solemnly although Drake could see the anger in his eyes. "And once I've got that, I want to know what the hell she did to us."

TBC…


	24. Past History

**Author's note - Apologies for leaving you with another cliffhanger - this was all supposed to be part of the last chapter but it turned out too long! Ah well, near the end now... -Swordy**

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 23 – Past History

There was a faint odour of sweat, unsurprising when you considered the clientele that largely made up the population of the waiting area in the Fourteenth Precinct. Lori Hanson opted to stand slightly apart from the others waiting for police assistance while the officer on the front desk got a message to the detectives she had mentioned by name. She just prayed that if they were there, they wouldn't keep her waiting too long.

"Miss Hanson?"

She jumped slightly, unaware that someone had come up behind her, and turned to take in the tall man with red-blond hair. He wore a shoulder holster over his blue shirt, the sleeves rolled up to compensate for the lack of air conditioning, and a horrible green and yellow patterned tie. It was all she could do to drag her eyes away from the colour clash on his chest and meet his pale blue eyes. He wasn't exactly handsome, but he had a friendly face that she warmed to straight away.

"Detective Mike Delaney." He stuck out his hand, which enveloped hers as she shook it. "Would you like to come with me?" They walked out of the waiting area and through a set of doors marked 'personnel only'. "Sorry to keep you waiting. In fact, you were lucky to catch us – we were just on our way out."

"Oh, sorry."

He grinned as he held the next door for her – the perfect gentlemen. "Don't be, especially if you have any information that might help with one of our cases."

The office they stepped into reminded her of the cop shows she saw on TV – packed with furniture and slightly chaotic. Every wall was covered with papers relating to the hundreds of cases old and new that they had on record and a white board that took up most of one wall held a plethora of information about the detectives' movements written in a multitude of different colour pens. In the top corner, some smart-ass had scrawled: '_Join our fast-paced team – we have no time to train you_.'

"Please, have a seat." He had obviously given up his own chair as in order to accommodate himself, he had to move a large stack of case files from a plastic foldaway chair in the corner. "My partner will be along in a minute. Can I get you a drink? Tea? Coffee? Water?"

Lori shook her head. "No thanks." It was clear that she wanted to get on with things. Delaney had barely poured himself a cup of coffee when Mazowski entered. Once the introductions had been made, Lori started on her story, explaining how both Kelly and Laura were work acquaintances of hers.

"If you speak to anyone else at Henderson's, you'll know that most people were glad to see the back of Laura. She disliked everyone it seemed, although Kelly was a particular enemy because she quickly got promoted above her. Laura had… well a bad attitude. She could never understand why she didn't get promoted too, but it was blatantly obvious to everyone else."

"Was there any trouble between them at work?" Mazowski asked, leaning back in his seat.

"What, like a fight?" Lori shook her head. "No, nothing like that. Just the usual bitchy tension you get when you have a lot of girls working together."

Delaney contemplated this, thinking that a predominantly female workforce sounded like heaven. "So what about Kelly – are you and her good friends?"

Again she gestured in the negative. "We got on well, but we were more like work acquaintances than friends. I never saw her outside of work, I mean. We used to work in the same department together early on, which is how I know her. I don't see so much of her anymore – we just have lunch together every now and again."

"So how did you come to know about this recent situation between Kelly and Laura? They weren't working together by then I take it?"

"No. Laura had left and no one had seen anything of her since the day she decided to quit. One day Kelly mentioned she'd seen her on the street with a couple of teenagers and she'd shouted to her. Laura ignored her and Kelly had forgotten all about it until the teens came into Henderson's asking questions about Laura, or Tyler as they knew her. Kelly then came to me because I have access to the personal files." She looked anxious at her admission.

"We won't say anything to your employers," Mazowski assured her. "That's of no interest to us, but we would like to know what you found and what you told Kelly."

Lori nodded, the grip on her purse loosening at the promise that she would not be in trouble. "In Laura's file there was information that indicated Laura Burns was not her real name. She's really called Stacey Kleppel. And one of her references was from a Doctor Steven Hitchens, a psychiatrist from Denver. There was also a letter from him asking that Stacey be allowed to use the name Laura Burns until the paperwork was completed to make it legal, and that he was to be contacted if there were any concerns about her. I didn't tell Kelly any of that – just that Laura had already gone under an assumed name before."

"Miss Hanson, could you get us those contact details from Laura's file?"

Lori opened her purse and took out a piece of paper with a neatly written name and phone number on it, which she handed to Mazowski. "I thought you might want it."

"Is there anything else you think we should know?" Delaney asked while Mazowski studied the details Lori had given them. The girl chewed her lip thoughtfully for a moment before she shook her head. "I can't think of anything that I haven't already told you." She held Delaney's gaze. "I'm certain she's the person you want, detectives. I feel responsible for putting Kelly in danger – I honestly didn't think Laura would do something like this. Please, get her."

"Rest assured, Miss Hanson, if Laura Burns is responsible then she'll pay."

The girl nodded. "Good. I'll leave my number if you need to contact me about anything."

She made to stand up, prompting the detectives to do the same. "Well, thank you for coming in," Delaney said, moving to get the door for her. "We appreciate it and we'll be sure to call if anything happens."

Once she'd gone there was silence as the detectives began processing this information. A girl in her early twenties on her _third_ identity? From what Lori Hanson was saying, it certainly warranted further investigation. Delaney glanced across at his partner and knew by the downturn of his eyebrows and the crease of a frown across his usually unblemished forehead that he was thinking the same thing. Eventually, he broke the silence.

"So what d'you make of that?" He leaned back on the desk, trying to recall another case where they'd had so many unexpected witnesses just walk through their door with leads. "I'm thinking if Laura, or Stacey, has something to hide about her _real_ identity and Kelly somehow communicated that she knew something, even something as small as her original name, it might be enough to send her into a frenzy."

"Sounds possible," Mazowski agreed. "It certainly seems to be a promising lead."

"More promising than McLain?"

Mazowski made a face. "Why do I get the feeling you don't want it to be him?"

"So sue me, I like the guy." Delaney gave an insouciant shrug. "And besides, he's a cop."

"Not all cops are good, Mike."

"Now you're making it sound like I've gone soft. Well, if you want my honest opinion, which I know you do, I think he _is_ one of the good guys, but that wasn't what I meant. I was referring to the scene – hell, what cop would wipe away all finger prints but leave a whole heap of his DNA lying around in an ashtray? It was staged, and an amateurish attempt at that. Someone wanted to frame him – someone who thought they could kill two birds with one stone, _literally_, after they thought they'd done away with Kelly."

Mazowski held out the piece of paper. "Do you want to make the call or should I?"

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Drake shut the door on his next-door neighbour, brandishing the screwdriver she had just returned. As he turned he could see Dee's disappointment, both of them having thought that the knock at the door signified the arrival of the cops from the Fourteenth.

"Jesus, what's taking them so long?"

Drake scrubbed a hand through his hair. "I dunno. You wanna call them?"

"No." Dee broke their eye contact to look at Bright who was lying with his head in his master's lap. "I need to get out for a bit so I'm gonna take Bright for a walk. You okay waiting here for them?"

"Sure, buddy."

"Come on then," Dee said, addressing the dog, who had already woken up at the sound of the 'w' word. "Let's go give some trees a shower."

He set off with his constant companion, instantly feeling better once outside the apartment where conversation had been killed by the cloying air of anticipation and expectation. Seeing the dog so happy to be running and sniffing and panting so hard it looked like he was laughing was enough to lift Dee's mood and he decided to walk further than he'd intended, figuring the detectives, should they arrive, could wait just like they'd kept him waiting for them.

To keep himself from slipping back into melancholy, he let his mind wander to his dinner date, a mere twenty four hours away. Although his mind told him to be cautious, it held the promise for so much and he couldn't help but visualise them together, alone at last. He wanted it to work _so badly._

When he'd been in his early twenties, he'd lived with a woman for almost twelve months. Although marriage hadn't been discussed, he'd thought that they had a good relationship and as a result, he'd conceded that she was 'the one'. When the relationship had broken down after two and a half years together, his first instinct was that her leaving would be catastrophic and he had to do everything in his power to make her stay. They'd talked, agreed to try again but it hadn't been long before things had ended permanently. With hindsight, Dee knew that his heart had never truly been in the fight to keep their relationship alive.

Other affairs had fared similarly – he enjoyed them until they went wrong then he'd realise that he had no desire to see them fixed. At least he was always certain when it was time to move on.

Ryo, on the other hand, was different. He'd never desired anyone as much as he had Ryo, and now that things had hit the rocks, the thought of just walking away was obscene. He knew he'd invest everything he had into bringing his unconventional family back together. That was why he knew Ryo was 'the one'.

He twisted his wedding ring around on his finger. For better or worse they'd said. He nodded resolutely. They'd done worse – now it was time for better.

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Delaney drummed his fingers while he waited to be connected. With the phone cradled in the crook of his neck he turned his attention to the wrapped candy he suddenly spotted in his open desk drawer. He had just succeeded in unwrapping it when a voice came back on the line. His mouth – open in anticipation of receiving the chewy treat – formed words instead.

"Yeah, I'm still here."

"Thank you for holding. Unfortunately Dr. Hitchens is in with a client now and he absolutely refuses to be disturbed. Can I get him to call you?"

Delaney successfully stifled his sigh of frustration. "That would be great." He gave the secretary his name and cell phone number before hanging up. Mazowski was now watching him expectantly, having just come in.

"Well?"

Delaney looked at the sweet on his desk longingly before concluding that it could wait a little longer. "First he wasn't there, then the line was busy for ages. Now he's there but he's in with a client and she said on no uncertain terms would she interrupt him. Best I could get was she'd get him to call me when he was done."

"You must be losing your touch, Mike."

Delaney scowled. "I knew you should have made the call. She sounded like the type who prefers old men."

"Um, don't you mean _older_?"

Delaney feigned a look of wide-eyed innocence as he popped the candy into his mouth and chewed noisily, deliberately ignoring his partner's last comment. Mazowski rolled his eyes as he grabbed his jacket of the back of his chair.

"Come on, we're late. McLain's already waiting for us."

The two detectives travelled across town in a patrol car. Delaney's pride and joy was in the shop and the car enthusiast moaned endlessly about everything from the transmission to the lack of air conditioning while he drove. Mazowski listened with his typical patience, his mind occasionally drifting from his colleague's complaints to their current case. He didn't want McLain to be guilty either. He liked the man, thought he was genuine and strong in the face of everything he'd been through. And not that he would say it out loud, but he was fairly confident that they'd be able to eliminate him after this little piece of undercover work.

"Okay, we're here," Delaney announced, once the address on the apartment block matched the one he had written down on the piece of paper propped up on the dashboard.

They took the elevator up to the correct floor and found Drake Parker's apartment, Mazowski rapping on the door once they were certain they were at the right place. Dee answered, his expression not altogether welcoming.

"I thought you'd have been here sooner," he commented once Drake had been introduced – the indirect way of saying 'where the hell have you been?'

"Sorry, we got caught up trying to chase up some new information. We've found a psychiatrist that seems to have worked with our suspect."

Both men noticed Dee's immediate defensiveness, despite thinking that he would surely be pleased by the news.

"While I'm glad you've got a new lead, I wouldn't place everything on the fact that she's had psychiatric help." Dee folded his arms across his chest as he perched on the arm of the couch.

"Well yeah," Delaney replied, trying to make amends. "At least we might be able to find out a little more about her – maybe understand why she keeps changing her name." He explained what they did know and how, by speaking to the man named in the letter in her file, they hoped to uncover a motive for the assault and maybe come to understand why she tricked her way into Dee's family.

They all fell into thoughtful reflection for a moment before Dee spoke. "Well, the wire's in place and Ryo should be on his way to work so I'm ready to go." There was a determination in his eyes that none present could miss. After a final check of the equipment, he headed for the door.

"Good luck, buddy." Drake laid a hand on his friend's arm. "Keep thinking about tomorrow.

Dee nodded, Ryo never far from his mind. "Trust me, I'm counting the hours."

When Dee had gone Drake turned back to the men cluttering up his living space.

"What's tomorrow?" Delaney asked, shrugging his jacket off his shoulders and draping it over the back of the couch.

"He's meeting Ryo for dinner so they can talk about their relationship. He loves Ryo," Drake added firmly, "so you're barking up the wrong tree with your sexual motive. Dee waited for Ryo for over two years, never giving up hope that they could be together and never looking at anyone else during that time. Can you imagine that?" He happened to glance at Delaney at that moment. "Why in hell would he do that to throw it all away at a moment's notice?"

Delaney knew his partner would have indignantly argued in defence of their reasoning, but it was obviously a battle they were destined to lose. Mazowski might be the sensible, logical one, but he was often the more diplomatic member of their partnership.

"So how long have they been together then?"

Drake looked thoughtful for a moment. "I dunno exactly. A few years, married for nearly one."

"Have you and Dee been friends a long time?"

Drake smiled, sensing genuine interest rather than investigative questioning. Besides, neither he nor Dee had anything to hide. "Oh yeah. I joined the Twenty Seventh the same year as Dee and we both made detective at the same time."

"But you weren't partnered together?"

"No. I went into narcotics for a while and when I moved to homicide Dee already had a partner. When Dee's partner transferred I expected to work with him then, but our chief had other ideas. Dee was put with someone who was about to join our department from another precinct. The new guy was of course Ryo. He had an excellent track record and a reputation for being exceptionally well-organised." Drake laughed. "I think the chief hoped some of Ryo's orderliness would rub off on Dee. I don't think he thought for a minute they'd end up married."

"But your chief's okay with it?" Delaney asked as Mazowski studied the raft of equipment set up on Drake's kitchen table.

"Sure. They work well together. Or they did until that bitch came along."

Drake's undisguised hatred made it difficult to know what to say in response, so the two detectives were glad when Delaney's cell phone suddenly burst into life. He stood to answer it, the number unfamiliar on the phone's display.

"Detective Delaney? This is Doctor Stephen Hitchens from the New Town Medical Institute. I believe you wanted to speak to me about one of my former patients?"

Delaney suddenly became animated, nodding in response to Mazowski's questioning gaze. "Doctor Hitchens, thank you for getting back to me. The patient's name is Laura Burns or you may remember her as Stacey Kleppel."

"May I ask why you want the information? Patient records are usually confidential."

"It's a long story," Delaney answered, wandering away from his audience so he could concentrate. "So I'll summarise it as best I can. Stacey, or Laura, has been assuming the identity of a girl called Tyler Brown for several months now, we believe, in an attempt to get close to someone. She's infatuated with this guy, despite the fact that he's gay and there's a strong possibility she may have tried to kill his partner. She's also a suspect in an attempted murder on a former work colleague who may have been about to expose her new identity. We were shown a letter from you where you ask her employers to allow her to go by the name of Laura Burns until the change became legal. Is all this making sense?"

There was silence and for a brief moment Delaney thought he'd been cut off. "Doctor Hitchens?"

"I'm here." A weary sigh preceded his response. "And yes, unfortunately it's all making sense, although I wish to God it wasn't."

While Delaney was on the phone in the other room Mazowski and Drake tried to make small talk, but the conversation was stilted as they waited for news. Drake thought Mazowski's patience looked at an end when Delaney returned, cell phone still in his hand.

"Well? You sure took your time."

Delaney dramatically blew a puff of air through the hair that normally fell across his eyes. "Gimme a break. He had plenty to say. All I can say is: I think we've found our perp…"

Drake glanced at Mazowski, wondering if the older man's partner was prone to exaggeration.

"… and I think we need to warn Dee."

Drake suddenly hoped he was. He held up his hand to stop Delaney speaking. "Phone Dee first and tell him what he needs to know. Then you can fill us in."

Delaney looked at his partner who nodded his agreement. He dialled the number into his cell as Drake called it out, before an ominous silence – save the ringing phone – descended.

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Dee headed for the subway, weaving through the throngs of people who moved at varying speeds towards the entrance. He could feel himself walking faster than usual, as if his quickened pace would take him nearer to this whole sorry mess being over with and his eagerly anticipated dinner date with his husband. He reached the subway station, about to descend the stairs when his cell began to ring in his pocket. He pulled out the device, glanced at the unfamiliar number and answered it with a curt, "Yeah?"

"Dee? It's Mike Delaney. I've got some important information. You're not at the apartment yet are you?"

"No, not yet."

"Okay, good. Well, that doctor I called got back to me. Have you heard of erotomania?"

He hadn't. "Is that why she's under a psychiatrist?"

"Well, yeah and no. In layman's terms, which is how he explained it to me, a person with erotomania is basically a stalker, but unlike your common or garden psycho, they genuinely believe the person they're stalking loves them back and is having a relationship with them."

Dee frowned. "So she believes she's actually in a relationship with Ryo?"

"I think so. It also explains why she might be behind what happened to you. If she saw you as a threat, then it makes sense for her to try and get rid of you."

On the bustling street, Dee did his best to process what he was being told. "Wait... what if she said anything to this effect to Ryo? Did he say how she would react if someone tried to set her straight?"

"She just wouldn't believe him, simple as."

"Okay, what if he told her we were meeting tomorrow to attempt a reconciliation?" He heard Delaney sigh and the sounds of intense conversation in the background.

"Then she could become dangerous. Listen, Dee, we're just talking now. We think maybe we should just abandon this undercover work, bring her in and question her anyway."

"Okay, but how does this doctor know all this? What prompted him to diagnose her?"

"He's been treating her since she was fifteen, apparently when she was involved in a joint suicide pact with a boy at her school. She survived but the boy didn't. She said they did it because his parents were trying to keep them apart. Thing is, his parents didn't even know about her, nor did any of the kids at school know they were together. Even his best friend said he'd never mentioned that he was seeing anyone. That amount of collective suspicion prompted the police to investigate, but there was no evidence and therefore no charges. The boy's verdict of suicide still stands…"

"Wait, wait," Dee interrupted. "You're saying they think she _killed_ him? Why the hell would she do that if she was in love with him?"

"From what the doctor was saying, the more extreme cases have the 'if I can't have them no one can' mentality. Maybe it was one rejection too many and she flipped. She was just lucky – or unlucky depending on how you view it – that her own suicide attempt failed."

The niggling feeling he'd had that something was wrong suddenly got stronger. "Is Drake there?" he said quickly, his heart now a loud staccato in his chest. "Tell him to ring the precinct. I wanna know that Ryo's definitely there."

"Yeah, sure…"

"_Now_." He was surprised by how aggressive he sounded, but he knew the fear he felt would not be appeased until he was certain that Ryo was safe. He heard Delaney relay the message to his colleague, communicating a similar sense of urgency. The wait seemed excruciating and Dee could only listen as Drake was connected to the precinct, ringing the direct line in their office.

"No answer," he heard his friend say.

"Get him to try the front desk. They'll know if he's turned in for his shift."

"He's already on it," Delaney answered.

Unable to do anything, Dee mentally cursed the traffic, its relentless noise preventing him from hearing Drake's conversation in the background.

"Dammit," he growled, pacing as he waited for Delaney to come back on the line. Every minute that ticked by seemed to reinforce his belief that something was wrong.

"Dee?"

"Yeah. Is he there?"

He heard Delaney's hesitation, obviously in response to the desperation in his own voice. "No, he's not. According to your desk officer, a female who didn't identify herself rang in earlier to say he was sick and wouldn't be coming in."

"Ryo didn't come to the phone at all?"

There was a pause as Delaney relayed the question to Drake, still on the phone to the precinct.

"No, she said he was sleeping."

Dee swallowed hard, that last comment chilling him in a way he could not put words to. "Something's wrong. I've got to go –"

"Dee! Stay where you are. We're coming over," Delaney instructed, although he didn't hold out much hope of the other man actually listening. Even as he was speaking he could hear the sound of running feet hitting the sidewalk. "Dee? Dee!"

Delaney flipped his phone shut with a growl of frustration. "He cut me off. _Fuck_." He turned to the other two. "We gotta get over there. He won't wait."

"You can't blame him," Drake replied as he snatched up his car keys. "He'd die for Ryo."

Delaney looked at him grimly, having first glanced at his partner's equally concerned expression.

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that."

TBC…


	25. Game Over

**Author's note – Okay, we're nearly there. Many thanks for all the reviews. You guys are the best! - Swordy**

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 24 – Game Over

Ryo felt like his eyes had been glued shut, the lids were so heavy. It seemed like every ounce of his willpower was needed to force them open and even when he succeeded, his vision was blurry and all but useless. He swallowed and grimaced, noting a strange taste in his mouth. A noise at his shoulder caught his attention and his energies were now concentrated on turning his head. Through his milky vision he saw Tyler, although he had no idea what she was doing. What he did know, however, was that he felt like shit.

"Tyler, what's… happened to me?" he asked, his voice sounding as if he'd just finished the New York marathon. With his memory as fuzzy as his sight he had no recollection of how or why he'd ended up in bed.

"Shhhh, it's okay." The girl leaned over and stroked his cheek tenderly. "You don't need to worry. I've called work and told them you're too sick to come in…"

"I'm not sick…" Ryo protested, making a more concerted effort to sit up. Little force was needed from the hand on his chest to keep him on the bed.

"Rest, my love. I'm here for you and I'll take care of everything so we can be together."

Something snapped into place in Ryo's mind, bringing with it the recollection of the conversation they had had. Was it earlier today or several days ago? He couldn't remember.

"Tyler… please. I'm sorry if… I've given you the wrong idea. I love Dee. He's the only one I want."

He was disturbed to see that her response was a smile. "You don't need to lie to me, Randy," she said, her voice upbeat despite his rejection. "I've known for a long time that you're only with Dee because you feel sorry for him, what with his diabetes and his abduction and all. If none of that had happened, you'd have realised that you were too good for him and ended your relationship." She sat on bed beside him, her hand never straying from his face. "I now realise that you're too nice a person to tell him it's over because you want to be with me, so I've sorted it for you. You don't have to do anything. Soon, we'll be together where no one can bother us."

Ryo swallowed hard, concerned by how much effort the supposedly reflex action took. "I… I don't understand."

She stroked his hair away from his face and smiled. "I've given you some pills. Soon you'll fall asleep forever, but don't worry, I'll be taking some too so we can move onto the next life together. I've left a note explaining that we couldn't bear to be apart, but we didn't want to hurt anyone, which is why we've done this. They'll understand, I swear. We have to do this, darling. We'll never be together otherwise."

Real fear pricked the haze that had become Ryo's mind. No wonder he felt like shit – he was dying. He swallowed again, the action laboured and sluggish. He considered appealing to her conscience, but decided it was pointless. The only alternative was to try and win her over.

"Please, Tyler. We don't need to do this. We… we can be together in _this_ life. I'll tell Dee it's over. We can… move away."

She looked at him like he was an idiot, a sad, sympathetic smile painted across her face. "Believe me, Randy, I wish it were that easy. I've tried for so _so_ long to get you away from Dee, but it won't happen. Moving away isn't enough." She stopped and her features grew angry. "He'll find us and ruin everything, just like he's been ruining everything for us for the past few months."

_Oh God, she's crazy_, Ryo thought, trying to gain control over his mounting panic. This wasn't about them starting a relationship – she genuinely believed they'd been _having_ one for God knows how long. How could he appeal to anyone who thought that? He tried to move again but found his limbs would not obey him. All he had were words, increasingly spoken by a mouth that felt stuffed with cotton wool.

"There is no 'next life', Tyler… if we want to be together… it has to be here. It has to be now. Please… call an ambulance for me… we can talk… properly then. I don't want to die... and I don't want you to either."

"Randy, you're so sweet, but there's no need to be scared." She leaned towards him and kissed him gently on the lips. "I'm not scared and I'll be right beside you. We'll go together. Now shhhh, you rest and let the pills work their magic."

She stood up to leave and Ryo knew that if she left the room, this might be the last time he ever saw her, such was his diminishing grip on consciousness. This was all wrong – his occupation left him open to more danger than the average man on the street, but he'd never imagined he'd die like this,

"Tyler." He was relieved to see that she turned and approached him again. He wanted her to listen – if these were his final words he wanted them to be something worth saying.

"I told you to rest. What is it, love?"

Ryo forced his eyes open and met her gaze. Her smile faltered at his cold, penetrating stare. Even she could see there was no love there. "You're crazy. I don't love you… I never have, never will… so you need to get that into your twisted head. If there's a 'next life'… I promise you now, it'll be Dee I'll be waiting for once I'm there."

Her face contorted a thousand ways – her shock and anger at his confirmation of the facts she had chosen to ignore for so long.

"No!" she yelled as she slapped him hard across the face. "You don't mean it! Take it back before it's too late!"

The drugs numbed the sting of the blow and he almost felt like laughing. He turned to face her once more, determined to maintain the quiet dignity he'd decided would be his parting shot since last minute heroics had gone out the window the minute he'd realised that his body was outside his control.

"I do mean it… because I love Dee with a depth you couldn't possibly understand." His voice barely had any substance, but the words carried their own weight. "And even if we both die here… Dee will know your letter is a lie… he'll know because we're soulmates… and nothing you can do will change that."

She was shaking her head now, extremely agitated. His words had obviously hit a nerve. "No… No… you're lying! Why won't you admit you love me, Randy?"

Now he did laugh since he figured he may as well go out with a smile on his face. "I'd never love a crazy bitch like you."

Her snarling features loomed above him and she struck him hard across the face. Again the blow didn't hurt, but his head snapped over to the right, removing her from his line of sight. It was his ears that told him she was leaving the room, and with her left his calm acceptance of his situation. Only with his consciousness fading did he begin to experience a deep sense of sadness, brought on by the thought that he would now never get the opportunity to reconcile with his lover.

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Dee ran until his lungs felt like they were on fire. Even then he didn't stop, his legs carrying him towards Ryo despite the protestations from the rest of his body. People stared at him as he weaved through the crowds on the sidewalk, occasionally darting into the road when his route became impassable. Several cars sounded their horns, startled by the near miss, but he didn't stop. He could hear his cell ringing in his pocket, no doubt Drake or Delaney trying to tell him to wait, but aside from the wasted time of stopping to answer the call, there was nothing they could say to stop him going in alone.

"Hey, watch it!" a teenager called out angrily as Dee ran past, his arm catching the boy's shoulder causing him to spill the drink he was holding. "Jerk!"

The voice was soon in the distance – probably a good thing since he wasn't in the mood for confrontations with indignant strangers. He rounded the corner, his feet finally hitting the street where they lived.

_Please be okay, Ryo, _he thought as he sprinted for the stairs inside their apartment block, figuring they would be quicker than the elevator. Luck was on his side however - the elevator doors pinging open causing him to sharply change course. The doors had almost slid shut when he spotted a middle aged man hurrying towards him.

"Hold the elevator!" he called out, his face crumpling when he saw that Dee would do no such thing. "Jerk!" he yelled as the elevator left him behind. In any other circumstances Dee would have smiled at being called a jerk twice in the space of about five minutes.

The ringing of his cell phone reverberated off the walls of the cramped carriage and in the absence of anything else to do until he reached his floor, he answered it.

"Dee? Are you there?" It was Drake.

"Yeah. I'm about to go in. I'm not waiting, Drake."

"I know. I just want you to turn on the wire before you go in. Set it recording."

"Drake…"

"Evidence, remember? Not just for hurting Kelly, but for you." He paused, hoping he was wrong about the next part. "And maybe for Ryo too."

"Fine," Dee replied reluctantly as he flicked the switch on the device secured around his back. "It's on."

"Great. We'll be with you as soon as we can. Be carefully, buddy."

"Sure." He ended the call as the elevator reached their floor. He didn't know what he'd find, but he sure as hell wished he still had his gun, the weapon frustratingly locked away at the precinct until he was deemed fit to carry it again.

There was no one in the corridor, but as he passed by he could hear televisions and the sounds of conversation from several of their neighbours' apartments. As he reached the door to his own home, there was no sign of life. A part of him found himself praying that she did truly love Ryo – surely then she couldn't bear to hurt him? He found his key and let himself in, expert eyes and ears alert to any potential danger as he opened the door slowly.

The apartment was in darkness, despite the fact that it was still daylight outside. Every curtain was drawn, every blind down. The light switch for the main living area was next to the door, but when he flipped it nothing happened. Mentally he added his powerful police-issue flashlight to the list of items he wished he had on him. He listened for a moment longer, trying to gauge whether any sounds he heard were significant or not. Then came a noise to set his heart racing – a moan from the direction of their bedroom, which was unquestionably Ryo. He didn't sound in pain, but neither was it a moan of pleasure. Somehow she had succeeded in stopping Ryo leaving for work, and he doubted if it was simply by the power of persuasive argument.

Slowly, cautiously, he proceeded into the main living area, eyes picking out dark shapes and quickly dismissing them as furniture. His path was halted suddenly by a crunching sound underfoot and he bent slowly, his fingers coming into contact with the shattered remains of the light bulb that had once hung overhead. He moved around the couch to the doors that led out onto their balcony, currently blocked from view by the floor-length set of curtains – an ideal hiding place. His first instinct was: _she's here_. He approached cautiously, keeping a safe distance and a clear escape route before, in one sharp movement, he pulled one of the curtains back, flooding the room with the daylight that had previously been banished behind the heavy drapes.

Nothing.

He let out a long calming breath as he studied the room, arriving at the conclusion that if she was anywhere, she was in the bedroom.

With Ryo.

And the safe where Ryo's gun was kept.

He could curse the loss of the weapon, but he _had_ to check on Ryo. He hadn't moaned since and Dee didn't know whether that was a good thing or not. He'd obviously been in discomfort, but at least it had confirmed that he was still alive. Eyes flicking everywhere, he made for their bedroom, satisfied that she was not in any of the rooms he passed. A hopeful thought occurred to him that she might have fled, perhaps aware that someone would come looking for Ryo when he didn't turn in for his shift, despite the message she had left on his behalf. When he reached their bedroom, he paused to listen for ten seconds then flung the door wide, knowing the game would quickly be up if she was hiding behind it. When it hit the wall with a resounding thud he moved inside.

The curtains were drawn here too, but there was no possibility of her hiding behind them, the material ending long before they reached the floor. One of the bedside lamps was on, but even its gentle glow could not lift the pallor of his lover's skin as he lay on their bed unmoving. He wanted to call out, but he needed the silence to listen for any potential danger. His first reaction was that he was dead and it threw his well-honed instincts into disarray.

As he stepped forward he recovered slightly, suddenly remembering that he needed to stay alert. Ryo's closet was where their gun safe was kept. It also represented another excellent hiding place, unlike his own closet which was stacked high with junk and clothes. He threw the door open to find Ryo's typical orderliness staring back at him. He glanced back over his shoulder as he crouched to open the safe, amazed at the relief he felt once he had that the familiar steel in his hand. Tucking the weapon into the waistband of his jeans he now turned his attention to Ryo. Before he approached the bed, he dropped to his haunches to check Laura was not under it, his police instincts colliding with the horror movie lover in him.

There was plenty under there - too much in fact to allow a person to hide successfully and he frowned, idly wondering when Ryo had allowed him to harbour so much clutter under there. Feeling confident that he could now approach the bed he did so, but not without a huge sense of trepidation. While he didn't touch or look too closely there was still hope and he was loathed to let that hope die because Ryo had.

Now he called out his lover's name and shook his shoulder, just as their annual basic life support training had taught them to do. Ryo was dressed for work, indicating that he'd had every intention of going before Laura had intervened. Worryingly he noted a large reddened area on one side of Ryo's pale face – a hand slap with all certainty.

"Ryo? Baby? Are you okay?"

_God, please be okay._ Time seemed to drag its heels until Ryo's head turned towards the source of the sound, and his eyes blinked open with heavy resistance.

"Dee?" It was only one syllable, but Dee knew it had taken everything his lover had in him to utter it.

"Thank God…" He held Ryo's face in his hands, alarmed by how heavily the deep brown eyes were glazed over. They seemed to focus for a second before they fell on something over Dee's left shoulder.

"Dee… she's…"

In that split second Dee had his epiphany. Suddenly he understood why there was so much junk under their bed. It was _his_ junk, all from his closet, which now it was removed enabled someone relatively compact to hide in the normally cluttered storage space. His revelation unfortunately came a split second too late.

The closet door swung open and from it burst Laura, her face contorted in a mask of fury.

"Bastard!" she shrieked as she came at him, arms and knife outstretched. With no time to react he threw himself to one side, twisting during the movement so he was facing her. He felt the gun jolt free from his waistband and skitter away somewhere behind him, but there was no opportunity to scramble for it as she fell upon him brandishing the knife. The long weapon aiming for his face, sunk deep into his left wrist that he had thrown up to protect himself. The blade touched bone and as she pulled it out – presumably for a second attempt – a long arc of blood spatter captured the knife's journey as she raised it again.

Despite the sudden onset of pain and blood, Dee kicked out, his strong strength of self-preservation needing very little time to get warmed up. The kick caught her in the leg, but it was only a glancing blow and it didn't stop her advancing again. This time she slashed with the knife, opening up defence wounds on his other arm, and stabbing him in the thigh as he raised his leg to try and kick her again. This time his foot found its target proper and he sent her stumbling backwards, opening up the chance he needed to find the gun. Sensing the distance he had put between them put him out of immediate danger, he turned and made a grab for the weapon.

Certain she could not have reacted as quickly as him, he swung back to face her, gun outstretched. But she had. His kick had pushed her back towards the bed and instead of attacking him again, she had opted for strategy. To his horror, Dee found that she was now stood beside the bed, one hand on Ryo's hair, the other – still holding the knife – at his throat. Dee swallowed hard. This fucked everything _big time_.

"Put the gun down," she growled, turning the knife so Dee caught the glint of the blade. "Put it down or I'll cut his throat."

This was insane. She was killing him anyway, but Dee knew that with help on the way, there was a chance Ryo could be saved before the drugs she had tricked him into ingesting did too much damage. With a slit throat on the other hand, he didn't have a prayer.

"Okay, you win." Dee slowly laid the gun on the floor in front of him. He could only watch helplessly as she pulled the weapon towards her with her foot, then quickly squatted and scooped it up. Tucking the knife into her belt with her left hand, she pointed the gun at Dee with her right.

"Now get out. I don't want to have to kill you in front of Randy. He's too beautiful to witness your ugly death. Walk slowly with your hands in the air and don't _think_ of trying anything."

He glared at her, trying to struggle to his feet. "You stabbed me in the fucking leg. I don't think slowly is going to be a problem."

"Always with the smart mouth. Just do it, okay?"

Keeping a safe distance she followed him from the room with the gun pointed at his back._ Stall her_, was all he could think knowing Drake and the others couldn't be far off now.

"You know there are other cops on the way," he said following her instruction and sitting down on the floor, his back against the wall once they were in the main living area. "Even if you kill me, they'll get here in time to save Ryo. Then you'll never see him again."

She kept her eyes on him as she backed over to the doors that opened out onto their balcony. Sliding them open she stepped out and approached the edge. For a brief second Dee hoped she was going to jump off, but all she did was look over quickly to check for the presence of cops down below.

"You bastard," she spat, knife in hand when she came back inside, leaving the doors open to listen out for approaching sirens. "Why couldn't you just lay down and die like you were supposed to?"

"What d'you mean, like I was supposed to?"

Her movements were hyperkinetic, but her wild eyes never left him. He was just one more bastard trying to control her, trying to stand in the way of her happiness. The look she shot him was one of pure hatred.

"I tampered with your insulin, you dumb fuck. You were supposed to fall asleep and _stay_ asleep, but luck always seems to come your way, doesn't it? Everything I did – even early on, came to nothing because you have the luck of the devil."

Dee frowned, alarmed by the blood pumping from his left forearm despite it being pressed to his side. "It was you. You told the Welfare Department that I was abusing Bicky, didn't you?"

She rolled her eyes dramatically. "Of course it was me! But Randy wasn't supposed to believe you."

"But he did," Dee replied, suddenly feeling triumphant, "because he loves me and he trusts me."

"No he doesn't. He pities you, that's all. He doesn't love you but he doesn't know how to end it. The first time we met, when he got my bag back for me – I could see the way he looked at me. We clicked, there and then, but he just hasn't had the courage to tell you."

Dee shook his head, a humourless smile pushing at his lips. "I know it's stating the obvious, but you're fucking crazy."

She cocked her head to one side, offering him a sickly smile of her own. "I'm not the one suspended from my job while I undergo psychiatric treatment. Maybe you're the crazy one, did you think of that?"

Dee snorted. "I've got a long way to go before I reach your level of crazy, you freaky bitch."

"Shame you'll never have the chance." She levelled Ryo's gun at him, holding it amateurishly with two hands.

There was a good chance she'd miss, Dee knew that, but luck had got her this far and there was no guarantee that it would run out now. _And she thinks I'm the lucky one!_

All he could do was throw himself to one side and hope that if she did hit her target, it would only be damage to the periphery – an arm or a leg maybe. He was tensed and ready to act but suddenly any evasive action became unnecessary.

The turn of events that followed, Dee would later realise, all took place within the space of a single minute, but as they happened he was certain they had been reduced to a series of slow motion sequences in the style of a Hollywood action movie. The front door, which he'd left ajar for his backup, suddenly burst open in a hurricane of white and brown fur. Both in the room turned to see Bright bounding into the fray. Dee expected the dog to come to him, but the canine had set his sights on Laura, as if instinctively knowing his master's life was in danger because of this person.

"Don't!" Dee's plea for clemency for his beloved pet was lost in the gunshot as she fired the weapon at the dog, her almost phobic reaction to the animal engulfing her previous control over the situation. The shot went wide allowing Bright to press on and not wanting to risk the dog getting any closer, Laura turned and ran for the nearest sanctuary – the balcony.

Terrified by the snarling hound, whom Dee would later confirm was uncharacteristically aggressive at that moment, she jumped onto the outer wall, hoping she could stay out of reach.

"Dee!"

Drake, hotly pursued by the detectives from the Fourteenth and a uniformed cop, burst into the room, his eyes flicking quickly from his injured but alive friend to the scene on the balcony. Bright's clawed feet had just reached the balcony when he let out a low, menacing growl. The sound seemed to bring a new wave of fear to the terrified girl, who looked to Dee, expecting him to call his pet off. Bright didn't move any closer, but his current proximity was enough to ensure that Laura felt she was in danger. She tried to inch away – but lost her footing and fell.

It wasn't a scream that she emitted – more of a surprised squeal that firm ground was no longer beneath her feet, and unlike in the movies, there was no sickening thud as she hit the ground many floors below - any sound was completely drowned out by the ebb and flow of the tide of New York City. Drake and Delaney were first onto the tiny balcony, pushing past the dog that now wagged his tail at them. They only needed a quick glance over the edge to confirm what they already knew. Drake didn't linger. Dee needed him. He hurried over and knelt beside him as Delaney and Mazowski began to mobilize their uniformed backup to deal with the body in the street.

"Dee? You okay? Where's…?"

"Our bedroom. Get the paramedics to him. I think she's given him some kind of overdose."

Drake nodded, his eyes looking Dee over. "You're bleeding. What happened?"

"She stabbed me, but I'm okay," he replied, his features pinched, obviously in pain. "Just help Ryo, _please_." He grabbed his friend's arm. "Don't let anything happen to him, Drake."

"I'll do my best, buddy."

Then he was gone.

Dee closed his eyes for a moment, suddenly feeling incredibly tired. If Ryo was okay then nothing else mattered. His rest was rudely interrupted by the sensation of wetness on his face.

"Drake," he grumbled, wondering why his colleague was splashing him when he clearly wanted to sleep. When it didn't stop, he reluctantly opened his eyes to find not Drake, but Bright licking his face and wagging his tail expectantly.

"Hey, boy," he said lazily raising his hand to pat the dog. He grimaced at the bloody streak he left across the canine's white head. Suddenly Bright growled. Over the noise, a man introduced himself as Brad, a paramedic.

"Bright. Down." Without looking he knew the dog had obeyed him as the growling stopped and the paramedic was able to approach. "Go and see to Ryo." Dee held the newcomer with his forceful gaze. "He needs you more than me."

"It's okay, my colleague's in with him now." When his patient looked about to protest he continued, not prepared to delay treatment with an argument. "Now it's Dee, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, well let's get you bandaged up so we can get you to the hospital."

He went to work, encouraging Dee to keep talking to him while he dressed the slash and stab wounds on his hands, arms and right thigh. There was a lot of blood, and the lack of movement his patient was reporting in his left hand was a big concern but clearly the other man – Ryo – was all Dee was prepared to worry about. While he was finishing bandaging Dee's leg, Ryo was rushed out on a stretcher. Brad had no idea about the reason behind the large police presence within the apartment, but he was fairly certain it had something to do with the body of a young woman lying in the street, many floors below.

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Despite his own injuries, Dee would not leave Ryo until he was certain that his lover was going to be okay. He knew his own injuries were serious – the numbness in his left hand was not down to the painkilling drugs he'd been given on the way to the hospital. All the wounds had stopped bleeding and the patching up that the paramedic had done was enough to ensure that Dee wasn't about to get treatment for himself anytime soon.

"Detective McLain," the doctor had said after finding his patient's bed empty and the patient himself, still fully dressed, keeping a vigil outside his partner's room. "We need to examine your injuries. If you have nerve damage to your left hand then you'll need surgery."

Dee had met his gaze, his green eyes reflecting his conviction. "It can wait."

"Waiting may reduce the effectiveness of the repair."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning any numbness or lack of mobility may end up being permanent."

Dee looked down at his bandaged arm resting in a sling and then through the window to where Ryo was being treated. If anything happened to Ryo while he was gone... "Sorry, but I'll have to take the risk."

The doctor had looked annoyed, but Dee had returned to watching Ryo again, indicating that the matter was no longer up for discussion.

"Fine," the medic had responded in defeat before he left the room. "But don't say I didn't explain the risks."

Dee sighed heavily, wishing that time passed more quickly. Twenty minutes ago he had been observing the less than pleasant sight of Ryo having his stomach pumped. Gastric lavage, the nurse had called it when he had enquired why Ryo was reluctantly having a long, flexible tube inserted into his nose. He'd wanted to go in, make them stop since it looked like they were hurting him. Ryo seemed to be resisting, and it had taken two nurses to hold him down while the third fed the thin tube up his nose, into his throat and down into his stomach where the contents were suctioned out and then doused with water to prevent any more of the drugs being absorbed. Ryo was then allowed to rest while the doctors took blood in order to assess the damage.

"Mr McLain?" The voice at his shoulder startled Dee slightly from his memories of the last hour. He turned to face the nurse.

"Dr. Bailey says you can go in and he'll come and talk to you about Randy. Then he wants you to allow him to examine you."

He was through the door before she could say anything else. Ryo awoke as Dee took his hand and squeezed it. He smiled when a gentle kiss was placed on his forehead, wishing he had the energy to get up and do the same.

"Hey, baby. How you feeling?"

Ryo swallowed hard. "Like my throat's had a fight with a cheese grater and lost."

Dee chuckled, relieved to see Ryo's sense of humour hadn't deserted him. "I was watching. It didn't exactly look like fun."

The other man rolled his eyes. "Great. I'm glad you saw me at my best." He looked at Dee's arm resting in its sling. "Are _you_ okay, Dee?"

The detective followed his gaze and shrugged. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a few scratches, nothing to worry about."

Any attempt Ryo was about to make to interrogate his lover was cut short by the arrival of the doctor. The man, who looked to be in his early fifties, smiled as he smoothed down his tie with one hand while quickly glancing at the notes he carried in the other.

"Well, Mr McLain," he said addressing Ryo, "You've been extremely lucky. It appears that you were given a smaller amount of drugs than we first thought. Most of the vials found at your apartment were empty, which obviously concerned us greatly, but then we received a phone call from a police officer still at the scene to say they had found two glasses of water and a large quantity of medication, which someone had started to dissolve into them. Your assailant obviously just wanted to incapacitate you initially, but beyond that, well…"

Ryo nodded gravely, understanding only too well that Laura had intended to make good on her threat to take them both to the grave.

"We'll run some other tests in a while to check the function of your liver and kidneys, but everything appears to indicate you'll make a full recovery."

Ryo looked at Dee who was grinning broadly.

"That's great news," the dark-haired man said, giving his lover's hand another squeeze. There was a pause where Dee knew Dr. Bailey was looking at him. Now that Ryo was okay it was time to make good on his part of their agreement.

"Uh, baby? I've just gotta go for a bit so they can patch me up properly, okay? I'll be back soon, I swear."

Ryo frowned. "Are you sure everything's okay, Dee?"

"Sure." He leant in and gave Ryo a quick kiss and a reassuring smile. "I'll be back soon, I promise."

"Okay."

Dee and the doctor left together. "Thanks for not saying anything then," Dee said as they entered his own room.

"I just hope you don't come to regret it," the medic replied, before turning to the nurse waiting at the empty bedside. "Please help Mr McLain into bed and remove his dressings. I'll be back shortly."

With the nurse's assistance, Dee got into the hospital gown and climbed into bed. At least he could relax, knowing Ryo was out of danger. That was everything – nothing else mattered. The doctor returned and performed some simple tests, asking Dee to make movements with his damaged limbs. The slash wounds and defensive cuts on his right arm and thigh were deemed unserious and were bandaged back up once they had been stitched. It was his inability to make a fist or move the fingers of his left hand with their usual flexibility that was of greatest concern to the physician and Dee found himself being prepared for surgery without delay. His last thought as he drifted off into a drug-induced slumber was he hoped he wouldn't have to miss his dinner date with Ryo.

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Bicky and Cal hurried through the hospital until they reached their destination, finding Drake waiting for them, just as he had promised when he had spoken to Bicky, fresh off the bus from camp.

"What's going on?" Bicky demanded to know, foregoing any form of greeting. "You said they were okay. Where are they? What's happened?"

Drake raised his hands to halt the barrage of questions. "Yes, they're okay, both of them. Ryo's sleeping and Dee's recovering from surgery on his arm where she stabbed him."

Bicky's face clouded with rage. "And where's _she_, the psychotic bitch? Is she here too or have the cops got her?" He glanced at Cal who had obviously read the look on Drake's face.

"She's dead, isn't she?" she asked quietly.

Drake nodded.

Bicky looked stunned. "_Dead_? How? Did Dee or Ryo…?"

"No." The detective shook his head. "She fell from the balcony at your apartment. It was an accident."

"Jesus." Bicky slumped into the seat beside Drake, Cal taking the chair opposite. "What the hell happened?"

"We're not exactly sure yet," Drake replied, not wanting to go into detail before he knew how much Dee and Ryo wanted the teens to know. "But she obviously flipped out and tried to hurt them both. We won't have the details until they're ready to tell us."

"At least they're both okay," Cal said, taking Bicky's hand as she tried to get him to focus on something positive.

"Yeah," he replied gruffly, then shook his head. "I shouldn't have gone to camp. We knew something was wrong."

"You weren't to know she'd do something like this," Drake said, turning mid-way through the sentence as the door opened behind him. The doctor's eyes fell on the newcomers, prompting Drake to explain.

"This is Randy's son, Bicky and his girlfriend, Cal. Is there any news?"

"Well, Mr McLain – Randy," he added, remembering he was dealing with two patients with the same last name, "received an overdose of prescription medication, but we've pumped his stomach to clear as much as possible. The blood test results are back and everything is looking good. He's not suffered any permanent damage and we've given him medication to help counter the drugs already absorbed into his system. We'll keep him in overnight, but he'll probably be discharged tomorrow."

Bicky nodded, relieved. "And Dee?"

Dr. Bailey smiled. "He's awake and the surgery appears to have gone well. You can go and see him if you want."

Drake looked to Bicky who nodded emphatically. "You go. I've gotta call the precinct. They're waiting for an update."

"Cool." Bicky stood, looking to Cal to indicate that she should come too, then they followed the doctor as he led them to where Dee was resting.

"Hey." Dee smiled at the two teens as they entered his room, glad to have some company at last. "You know, they've said if I turn up here one more time I'm gonna get a wing named after me."

Cal chuckled as Bicky shook his head. "You're an idiot," the boy responded, although he too was smiling. "How you feeling?"

Dee glanced down at his heavily bandaged upper limbs before he answered. "Like I have no idea how I'm gonna tie my shoelaces. Other than that I feel okay. Have you seen Ryo yet?"

"No." Bicky shook his head. "He's sleeping, but the doc says he's okay too."

Dee nodded. "I know. Since they wouldn't get us a double room I've demanded regular updates. I don't think I'm making myself very popular, but I don't care. The doctor only agreed to keep me posted because I threatened to discharge myself and go and sit with him."

"You wouldn't actually have done it, would you?" Cal asked.

Dee grinned back at her. "Hell yeah, but then I figured Ryo would have killed me. You know how he gets when he thinks I'm not taking care of myself."

Bicky looked away suddenly, struggling to keep eye contact with Dee as he spoke to him. "Dee… are you uh - are you and Ryo going to be okay?"

It didn't take a genius to work out that he didn't mean physically. Dee waited until the boy looked at him and offered him a confident smile. "I think we are, Bic. Everything that's happened over the last few months is starting to make a lot more sense, and even if we can't get all the answers now we can still move on. I think we can make it work."

He suddenly looked past the boy, Drake's appearance at the door commanding his attention. Sensing the man was waiting for an invitation to come in, Dee gestured to him with his less injured hand.

"Hey, buddy." Drake greeted him with the warm familiarity of long-time friends. "Just thought you'd want to know that Ryo's awake and asking after you."

Dee looked pained, knowing he had promised his lover he would be back as soon as possible. He turned to the teenage boy. "Bicky, will you and Cal go and see him? I said I'd go back but I can't. Tell him I'm okay, I don't want him worrying."

"No probs." Bicky headed to the door, realising Drake would probably want to talk to Dee alone. Besides, he wanted to see Ryo, check he really was okay.

"And Bic?"

He stopped and looked back at Dee, whose face had broken into a wide smile. "Tell him I love him, and miss him…and…"

"And?"

The smile grew into an all-out grin. "Tell him being hospitalised doesn't get him out of our date."

TBC…


	26. A Life Less Ordinary

**Author's note – Okay, after this chapter there's just the epilogue left. Hope you enjoy the chapter, even without the lemon. As usual, you can find the full, un-cut version at other fanfiction sites and, also as usual, reviews are ALWAYS appreciated! **

**Much love - Swordy**

**Somewhere in Between**

Chapter 25 – A Life Less Ordinary

The two teens exited, leaving Dee and Drake alone. The latter sank into the visitor's chair and loosened his tie with one quick tug as he studied his friend. "How's the hand?"

Dee looked down at it bandaged tightly across his chest to limit its movement. "Mending hopefully, but I just count myself lucky. Ryo's okay, I'm okay… hey, what did you do with Bright?"

"I took him back to my place. He's kinda restless without you but I've been bribing him with bones."

Dee smiled, something he always did when he thought of his canine companion. "How come you brought him to the apartment with you?"

"That's the weird thing," Drake replied, scratching his head. "I didn't bring him. Somehow he got out of the apartment after we left. A uniformed from the Twenty Seventh brought him in his car. He'd seen Bright on Fourth and recognised him as yours." The detective grinned. "I guess his odd eyes serve some purpose, even if it's just easy identification. Anyway, he figured he'd just escaped and thought he'd bring him home for you. He was on your floor, heading for your apartment when we showed up. We told him to take Bright back down, but the poor cop couldn't keep hold of him. Bright charged on ahead, and since the door was open he went straight in. And well, you know the rest."

Dee nodded solemnly. Everything had happened so fast, but he knew with all certainty that Laura had intended to kill him. "He saved my life."

Drake was quick to agree. "You know, I'll never call dogs dumb again."

His companion smiled. "Ain't nothing dumb about my little guy. Me and Ryo owe him big time. And you, buddy. I really appreciate everything you've done for us."

Drake waved a hand, dismissing his friend's high praise. "Just doing the job. Mazowski and Delaney have taken charge and naturally you're off the hook in their attempted murder case. They stopped by while you were in surgery and took away the recording equipment you were wearing. Delaney called a short while back. They got everything she said, nice and clear, and there are signs that Kelly Capland may be on the mend so hopefully she'll be able to confirm the identity of her attacker. All our breaks came at once, huh?"

"No shit. I just can't help wondering why the hell she did everything she did. I know she had Erotomania or whatever it's called, but why'd she develop it, huh? Did something happen to her when she was a kid?"

Drake shrugged. "Beats me, but our new friends from the Fourteenth said they'll let us know if they come up with anything. They're gonna speak to that doctor again, see if he knows any more. I know it doesn't change things…"

"But it can help us understand about her motivations," Dee finished for him, barely reaching the end of the sentence before he yawned. Drake saw it and pulled himself up out of the chair.

"Listen, buddy, you should get some rest. I'll go check in on Ryo before I head back to the station. Don't worry about Bright or the kid. Cal's aunt has said they can both stay with her until you get straight. I'd have put them up but I figured they'd be better with her, since I'll be singled-handedly keeping the department afloat while you lounge about in here." He winked as he headed to the door. "Later, Dee."

"Thanks, Drake," Dee replied, shuffling down the bed into a lying position, knowing he could rest with everything taken care of. "I'll see you tomorrow."

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Ryo was duly discharged the following morning and, after a fairly heated discussion with the medical staff, Dee was reluctantly allowed to leave several hours later. Drake picked him up, informing him that Ryo had gone to stay at Ted's while their apartment was still a crime scene. The detective steering the car was more than a little surprised when Dee asked if they could go to his place, rather than join Ryo at Ted's.

"What's up? I thought you and Ryo were okay?" He chanced a glance across at his passenger in time to see the other man smile.

"Yeah, we're cool. He came to see me this morning before he left the hospital and we talked about what we'd planned, you know, before everything went crazy. Obviously our apartment's out of bounds, but we still wanted to get together tonight."

"You can use my place," Drake offered. "I'm working the last shift tonight so you can have plenty of time alone."

"No, it's okay. We figured if we went to a restaurant then neither of us would have to worry about cooking. Plus we decided we'd go to that Vietnamese restaurant – you know, the one where we had our first proper date. We figured we'd play it kinda like we just met, be like strangers on that first date again, you know?"

Drake nodded, although he looked concerned. "You sure that's a good idea – the date I mean? You both just got out of hospital, and even though the Commish managed to keep the media from getting hold of what happened, I still think you should both be taking it easy."

Dee shook his head emphatically. "I'm fine and Ryo's promised me that he feels well enough to go, so we're going. We've got a lot of shit to deal with, but this time we're dealing with it _together_. I made the mistake before, of shutting Ryo out and trying to deal with things on my own and look what happened – it gave some psycho the opportunity to get between us." He glanced at his friend, his expression suddenly angry. "Never again, Drake."

"I hear you, buddy," the other detective replied, knowing any further argument was pointless. "Well I wish you all the best for this evening."

"Thanks. Can I just ask one favour?"

"Sure."

"Can we call at our apartment first? I need to pick something up for tonight."

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Ryo almost felt like laughing out loud. Nerves made him like that, and, sitting alone in the restaurant, he was as nervous as he could remember being in a long time. He knew it was ridiculous to feel like that – he was meeting Dee, the man whom he'd shared his heart and home with for the last few years. Sipping the glass of water the waiter had brought, Ryo felt an electric frisson run through his body. He wanted, no, _yearned_ to see Dee, to be with him and experience that strong sense of pride that the man he would be dining with was his. It seemed incredible that not that long ago he had been contemplating a future without Dee, but those thoughts were for another night. Tonight was about reconciliation, not recriminations.

Ryo had a sudden pang of self-consciousness as he looked down to check his appearance. He was dressed in the pale grey suit he had bought for their wedding and, although his attire didn't look out of place in the smart restaurant, its special significance made Ryo slightly anxious. Would Dee think it was too much? Ryo fingered the ocean blue silk tie that matched his shirt exactly. It was too late now – Dee was due any minute.

He glanced around at his dining companions and contemplated their circumstances. Were they here on first dates? Were they here with someone they loved? A change of direction brought the maitre'd into his line of sight. He was talking to a smartly dressed man whose identity caused Ryo to smile. As if they knew they were being watched, the two turned and the head waiter pointed in his direction. Dee made eye contact and waved before thanking the waiter and making his way across the restaurant. In seconds they were face to face. Dee smiled.

"You wore…"

"Your suit," Ryo finished, studying his husband in the dark grey suit and black shirt and tie that he had worn for their nuptials. The two men laughed. They had both testified on previous occasions to friends and family that they often seemed to have the same thoughts and ideas and it was encouraging to see that nothing had changed.

"Sorry I'm a little late."

"You're not – I was early." Ryo found himself blushing slightly as he watched Dee sit down opposite him. The waiter came over and took Dee's drink order, leaving them with menus. They made easy conversation about the food as they chose their meals, which they ordered when the waiter returned with their drinks.

"So," Ryo said when they were alone again, "what made you wear your suit?"

Dee studied his attire for a second before he answered. "I don't know. It just seemed right." He raised his left hand to eye level. "I even got black bandages to go with it."

Ryo smiled. "It's a nice touch. How's your hand?"

"I dunno. It's all strapped up to keep everything in place while it heals. Notice I didn't order the steak." He grinned at his partner. "I didn't think you'd wanna spend all night cutting up my food for me."

Ryo chuckled, but there was love in his eyes. "I'd have done it gladly, Dee."

"Okay, your turn. Why did you wear your suit?"

Ryo ruffled his dark blond hair as he contemplated the question. Dee's response had pretty much summed it up – it had just felt _right_. "Well, tonight is special and I just figured I needed to wear something to match the occasion. I just couldn't think of anything more appropriate than the suit I made my vows in."

The waiter returned to serve their starters, forcing a brief pause in the conversation. When he'd gone, Dee responded.

"That was a great day, wasn't it? I was totally nervous but it was worth it. I can't believe it's almost been twelve months."

"Me either." Ryo frowned thoughtfully, before a sad smile broke onto his lips. "It's not quite been the twelve months I imagined."

Dee nodded, his wine glass poised at his lips. "Agreed. Maybe we should propose a toast to our second year of marriage. May it be more successful than the first."

They clinked glasses, Dee noting the faraway look in his husband's eyes. "Is something the matter, Ryo?"

The blond shook his head and smiled, genuinely this time. "For so long I've believed that you didn't want to be with me, didn't love me even. To hear you talking about our marriage, about _us_, well, I can't tell you how happy it makes me."

He looked away, his cheeks colouring at the admission, but Dee's hand on top of his brought his gaze back to his lover.

"Things have been rough, Ryo, but I've never stopped loving you, even if you heard things to the contrary. Drake said something a while back, about how it was like Chinese Whispers and it struck a chord, you know? I doubt anything she said about either one of us was actually the truth." He could sense his anger mounting and quickly pushed it aside, not wanting to let it spoil the evening. He smiled at his lover. "You remember way back when, when I said I'd never lose you to another man? Well I guess I should have added 'woman' to that list too. I'm just thankful that the price we paid wasn't heavier. Forever we said, remember?"

Ryo smiled and nodded. "Forever."

"And I know that we've got lotta stuff to talk about… about the things that Stacey used to get between us" – he looked at Ryo to check they were on the same wavelength – "we gotta work through that stuff so that we don't make the same mistakes again."

Ryo nodded again, although this time he didn't respond, instead biting his lower lip to keep his emotions in check. Although Stacey had ultimately caused most of the damage to their relationship, there were things that had come between them – things that had damaged the trust they had for each other - that she hadn't been responsible for. When he looked up again, Dee offered him a broad, loving smile.

"Hey, come on. We're not gonna dwell on that tonight, right? This is about us – and the future. For tonight, let's just enjoy being together, okay?"

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After the meal Dee suggested a walk to the Brooklyn Bridge where they could talk amidst the twinkling lights of the city that they both loved. The breeze ruffled their hair as they chatted with the ease of lovers and friends. The reminisced on good times, happy times, making plans to have more of them now that they had a future again. As the evening grew later, and colder, the two reluctantly made to leave.

"Coffee?" Dee enquired, after agreeing that Drake's place was nearer.

Ryo smiled, his eyes twinkling mischievously. "Why not? As first dates go this has been very pleasant. Coffee would be perfect."

Dee laughed. "Easy tiger, you haven't tasted it yet. Drake buys weird shit. Hell, it has less taste than Britney Spears."

The blond detective rolled his eyes as they walked along shoulder to shoulder. "Maybe I spoke too soon."

"What d'you mean?"

"Well, the meal was great, the late night stroll lovely but, well, being offered substandard coffee makes me think you're not quite as keen as I thought you were."

Dee feigned innocent indignation as he stepped in front of his lover, stopping him in his tracks. "You sure know how to wound a guy."

"Awwwwww," Ryo replied, reaching up and catching hold of Dee's lapels. "I'm sorry, but if I'm honest, it wasn't really the coffee I was interested in."

Dee chuckled. "What happened to being circumspect, taking it slowly, huh?"

"You're right," Ryo said, sobering suddenly.

"Hey, I was kidding!"

"No, even though you didn't mean it, you're right. What would Dr. Bailey say if you busted your hand again huh?"

"But my right hand's okay," Dee replied, grinning mischievously and flexing the appendage as proof. "And this, as you know, is my Olympic standard hand."

Ryo opened his mouth, but Dee spoke first. "It's okay, baby. I can take the hint." He leaned in and kissed Ryo gently on the forehead. "Just being with you like this is more than enough."

They reached Drake's place and let themselves in, Ryo insisting he be the one to make them some drinks. Dee wandered into the kitchen after him and leaned on the counter while Ryo moved around making tea. He seemed quiet and Dee wondered whether he had spoken out of turn.

"Ryo? Ryo?" On his second attempt the blond turned. "Is everything okay?"

Ryo nodded and gave him a quick smile. "Why don't you go and sit down and I'll bring the drinks through."

"Okay," Dee replied, sounding not at all sure. His eyes stayed on Ryo until he had left the room. Once his lover had gone, Ryo returned to making the tea, his concentration lasting only a split second before he let the spoon drop into the cup, suddenly forgotten.

Dee looked up in surprise when Ryo rushed into the room without the promised beverages. "Ryo…?"

"I'm sorry, Dee. I can't take it anymore." He marched over to where Dee was sitting and flung his arms around him. "I need to be with you, Dee," he murmured into the thick black hair that he gripped tightly with one hand. He kissed his lover's neck, rapturously inhaling the other man's scent.

"But…" Dee began, taken aback.

"Fuck circumspect," Ryo cut in, his impatience making Dee laugh out loud in surprise. His mirth was quickly smothered by Ryo's urgent kisses and he had no hesitation but to respond in kind. He'd take Ryo whatever his mood, but _this_ Ryo was like the star prize in a contest. His actions were desperate, frenetic, his desire obvious as they fell onto the couch together. Between kisses they began to remove each other's clothing, but it was far from the sexy shedding of cloth seen in the movies – Dee's bandaged hand meant that his jacket and shirt did not come off easily and the two men ended up falling about laughing. When their laughter died away they resumed their intimacy, although at a slower pace than Ryo had previously set. That suited them both – and they explored each other's bodies like it was new territory. Fingers traced skin as their breathing filled the silence. Kisses were sweet as their lips took turns to graze each other's flesh. Dee smiled as his lover's dark eyes met his, and he reached up with his one good hand to push some stray strands of hair off Ryo's face. This was how it should be and Dee realised that, for the first time in months, he felt content. At last he was _home_.

"Make love to me, Dee."

The dark haired man grinned. "How could I refuse? Baby, nothing would give me greater pleasure – literally!"

"Then I better go find us something to grease the wheels, so to speak," Ryo chuckled as he extricated himself from the couch, dressed only in his boxers and his unbuttoned shirt. He returned from the bathroom several minutes later carrying a small jar of cocoa butter body lotion and showed it to his lover.

"I guess this'll have to do."

Dee laughed. "I don't imagine lube would be pretty high on Drake's shopping list. It's probably an old girlfriend's."

Ryo unscrewed the lid and studied the contents. "I think there's just enough – hey!" The sharp tug on his shirt pulled him forward onto the couch, allowing him to straddle Dee who was grinning up at him.

"Well we'd better make it good then."

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Drake poured himself a cup of coffee and contemplated whether he should knock on Dee's door and offer him one while it was fresh. He was spared the decision when the spare room door opened to reveal his houseguest, dressed in just a t-shirt and his boxers.

"Hey, buddy," Drake said with a grin. "How'd the date go? Did Ryo have a good time?"

Dee smiled once he had stifled a yawn. "Why don't you ask him yourself?" He moved to one side to reveal his similarly attired lover, his dark blond hair tousled from sleep.

"Ryo!" Drake exclaimed. "Good to see you."

"Thanks. I hope you don't mind me staying over."

"Hell no! You're always more than welcome." He turned his attention to Dee and winked, a wicked grin on his face. "What happened to circumspect?"

The dark haired man glanced at his lover, who blushed slightly under the scrutiny. "In the words of my beautiful husband: fuck circumspect. How could I argue with that?"

Drake looked in surprise at Ryo, the other man's embarrassment telling the intuitive detective what had been on his mind when he'd made the comment. He held up his hands, but he was smiling too. "Whoah, okay. I get the picture. Well it's great to see you guys together at last."

The two men nodded as Ryo slipped his arms around Dee's body and rested his head on his shoulder. "Thanks. And the feeling's entirely mutual."

Drake switched his attention back to Dee, whose grin was threatening to split his face. "And I guess I don't need to ask if you feel the same?"

"Got that right!"

Drake left for work shortly after, leaving the two men alone in the apartment. They ate breakfast, during which Mike Delaney rang to say that he would be speaking to the doctor who had treated Stacey Kleppel later on that morning and would call around later on to fill them in on what he'd found out. With breakfast eaten and cleared away, they returned to the bedroom.

"You know, I could stay like this all day."

Ryo looked over at his lover, lying on the bed, and smiled. "Agreed, but didn't you say a nurse was coming to change your dressing some time this morning?"

Dee made a face. "Ah, crap. I'd forgotten about that. Actually, I need to ask you a favour. Will you help me bandage my arm?"

Ryo frowned as he slipped the fresh t-shirt Dee had loaned him over his head. "Bandage it? But it's already bandaged."

A sheepish expression answered his query. "Well yeah, but I was supposed to keep it strapped to my chest –"

"Dee! You –"

"But I wouldn't have been able to wear my suit and I wanted to look good for you, you know? And you can't deny that us both being in our wedding suits made the night more special."

It was impossible to stay mad at Dee with his infectious enthusiasm and Ryo found himself smiling and shaking his head. "Dee McLain, will you ever do as you're told?"

"That depends. If you're telling me to make mad passionate love to you for the next half an hour, I think I can handle a spot of obedience."

"Will you settle for me re-bandaging your arm and not telling the nurse that you ignored their medical advice?"

Dee made a show of considering Ryo's offer, before he shrugged, his eyes twinkling with humour. "Okay, deal."

The nurse arrived shortly after. To further the illusion that he was convalescing, Dee got back in bed, staying dressed in only a t-shirt and his boxers so the nurse could re-dress the wound on his thigh. When she informed him it had bled a little, he feigned surprise, not wishing to inform the stern-faced woman that it was probably a vigorous bout of couch sex that had caused it. She also attended to the stab and defence wounds on his upper limbs, taking particular care with his left hand that had been the subject of surgery.

To his relief, she deemed it unnecessary to keep it strapped to his body, instead giving him a foam sling to wear. Once she'd gone, Ryo helped him get dressed and they moved into the living room to await the arrival of the detective from the Fourteenth.

The time alone led to the inevitable discussion about the girl who had come between them and almost succeeded in murdering them both.

"So when did you know it wasn't really Tyler?" Ryo asked, handing Dee a mug of coffee before joining him on the couch.

Dee crushed his cigarette into the ashtray on the arm of the couch as he answered. "Bicky and Cal had her figured out first, although with hindsight there were other things that didn't add up. The fact that she hated Bright for one – she was crazy about dogs, Ryo. I guess I was just so psyched to get her back, I was blind to those inconsistencies."

Ryo laid a hand on his shoulder. "It's understandable, love. We all wanted it to be her, and besides, people change a lot so why would you be suspicious? To be fair, impersonating someone in order to move in with their family isn't something that happens everyday."

"Yeah I know. It's kinda scary how well she'd done her homework. Even Penguin was fooled. Hell, she _knew_ stuff about me, about my old life…"

"Like you said, she'd done her homework." Cradling his mug of tea between his fingers, Ryo found himself musing out loud. "All that effort she went to – you have to wonder why. I know she had that condition you mentioned, but why us? We've never met her before, have we?"

He jumped when Dee sat forward suddenly as if he'd received an electric shock.

"Wait! She said something… She said she'd loved you from the moment she met you – when-" he paused as the memory came back to him – "when you got her bag back for her, whatever the hell that means."

Ryo frowned, wondering much the same thing. "I dunno. To be honest, I initially got the feeling that I'd met her somewhere before, but I still can't place her face."

Dee drained the last of his coffee and handed the empty mug to Ryo, who was about to go back to the kitchen. "No matter. It doesn't change anything that's happened."

Delaney arrived as the two men were finishing their lunch. His casual clothes were rumpled and the two men correctly concluded that a late night had merged into an early morning with very little rest in between. He still looked buoyant however, with the adrenaline buzz of closing a case showing in his eyes and smile.

"This is my husband Ryo," Dee announced, realising that Delaney had never actually met his other half, despite the number of times they had discussed him. He sat back as the two shook hands, smiling when Ryo informed the detective that he was feeling very well after his brief stay in hospital.

"And how are you doing, Dee?"

"Not bad, thanks. Where's your partner today?"

Delaney grinned and stretched. "He's at the station completing paperwork like a madman. We figured we owed it to you to get this wrapped up as quickly as possible."

"It's appreciated," Dee replied. "We just wanna get things back to normal." He looked to Ryo who nodded his agreement.

"Well, since Stacey Kleppel is dead, the attempted murder case on you, Ryo will be automatically closed. The likelihood is that the same will happen with Kelly Capland. The doctors say she's showing signs of improvement and we should be able to talk to her in the next couple of days. I'd be more than a little surprised if she didn't name Stacey as her attacker. We also found a diary at your apartment which details her intention to harm you, Dee."

The lovers looked at each other solemnly as Delaney continued. "She talked of swapping your insulin with saline in the hope that the lack of insulin would eventually kill you. I presume she chose saline so it couldn't be traced if anything happened to you."

"It nearly did," Dee replied, turning from Delaney to Ryo. "It certainly answers the question of how I did my injections but went still went hyper." His face clouded with anger. "I was fucking _committed_ because of her. I could have lost my job – I nearly lost you."

Ryo looked pained. At the time, Dee's insistence that he'd done his injections as normal just couldn't be true. Hearing this information answered those seemingly unanswerable questions, but it did little to ease Ryo's guilt. He should have trusted his husband, even in the face of evidence to the contrary. He looked up suddenly when Dee's hand touched his.

"It's okay, Ryo. It doesn't matter. I'd probably have thought the same if the situation was reversed."

Ryo offered his lover a sad smile, knowing that Dee was just being kind. Dee never wavered – if he said he trusted someone then he trusted them implicitly. He'd have known that there _must_ be another explanation, no matter how unlikely it seemed.

"I'm so sorry, Dee. I should have listened to you. I wish-"

"Ryo." Dee's voice was firm but not unkind. "Let it go."

The blond nodded reluctantly before he turned his attention to Delaney, who had sat quiet during the previous exchange. "So do you know any more about how she ended up the way she did?"

Delaney scratched at one auburn eyebrow. "Well, from what I can gather, she had a pretty crappy start in life. Her dad walked out on her and her mother for another woman when she was six, but her mother always hoped she'd win him back. When she realised it wasn't going to happen, she made repeated suicide attempts, saved only by young Stacey who was usually the one to find her before it was too late.

"Eventually she succeeded, leaving Stacey, now aged eight, to a succession of foster carers and children's homes. The doctor says she was referred to him by the staff at one of the homes. Basically they were all shit-scared of her. He says that most of her anger was directed at her mother. She had attachment issues, which apparently is often a precursor to stalking behaviour. She looked for strong male figures – the guy she had the supposed suicide pact with was a real high achiever and destined for great things by all accounts. If she knew you were a cop, Ryo, then it's easy to see why she chose you."

"I just can't remember meeting her before," Ryo replied in frustration.

"Okay, well how about now? The doctor faxed this over." From his pocket, Delaney produced a piece of paper. On it was a photo, grainy having come through the fax, but clearly showing a very different Stacey Kleppel from the one they'd known. Several seconds elapsed before Ryo became animated.

"I _do_ know her!" He looked at Dee, whose expression communicated his obvious surprise. "A couple of days after our wedding, when we were about to go on our honeymoon. I went to the store, because you'd forgotten to buy some stuff, remember? Anyway, I heard someone shout that they'd been robbed and turned to see this guy hurtling towards me. I managed to intercept the thief – I couldn't stop him but I did get her bag back. She thanked me, and I left. I didn't even get her name, nor did I give her mine. How the hell did she find us?"

"If it was around the time we got married, then maybe she saw us in the paper," Dee suggested, to which Ryo shrugged, knowing they'd never have a definite answer.

"Well, basically, it seems like life wasn't too kind to poor old Stacey Kleppel," Delaney said finally.

"Sounds that way," Dee said quietly, glancing across at Ryo.

The three men talked some more before Delaney announced that he had to go. He promised to keep them posted on any new developments, then got up to leave, with Ryo preparing to show him out.

"Well, take it easy, guys," Delaney said as he pulled on his jacket. He paused thoughtfully, then grinned. "Have you guys ever considered early retirement? You seem to have more than your fair share of bad luck as cops."

When he'd gone, Ryo turned to face his lover, whose own gaze was fixed on the world beyond the apartment.

"Dee?"

The dark haired man turned from the window and smiled. "Sorry… I was just thinking about Laura, uh, Stacey, I mean. You know, I used to think that all my problems would never have existed if I'd had parents, but stories like hers just make me realise how naïve I was."

Ryo nodded as he came and sat down beside him. "You're right, and well, despite everything she did, I can't help but feel a little sorry for her."

"Yeah." He was surprised to hear Dee agreeing with him, having expected his lover to be outraged that he could find it in his heart to forgive her. "And besides, it's kinda pointless being angry at someone who's dead. That kinda shit can eat away at a guy and I sure as hell ain't gonna let it do that to me."

Without warning, Ryo reached over and, taking Dee's face in his hands, kissed him soundly. When they pulled apart, Dee's eyebrow quirked upwards.

"What was that for? Not that I didn't totally enjoy it or anything. And if you wanna do it again, then be my guest-"

"Because you're amazing, that's why. You've been through so much and yet you're strong and funny and smart. You're a special guy, Dee and I'm so proud to be with you."

Dee smiled, but there was sadness in the expression as he recalled the memory. "When I called you from the hospital, telling you I wanted to come home and you never replied – I thought it was over for sure."

"What phone call?" Ryo's face was consumed by a frown.

"I called late the night before I was released and left a message on your cell so you'd get it when you switched your phone on in the morning. I said that if I didn't hear from you then I'd know you thought it was over between us."

Ryo's body stilled, his expression horror struck. "Oh God, Dee! I never got that message, I swear. I'd never have ignored you – hell, I wanted you to come home more than anything! I don't understand how I never got that message."

"Did you ever let your phone out of your sight?"

Ryo contemplated the question, mentally re-visiting the day when the voice message would have arrived. "I don't think so. I nearly forgot it-"

"What?"

"But Tyler reminded me to take it. Now I remember – I had to go down to the car to get Bicky's school bag. When I got back, I grabbed my briefcase to leave for work, but I'd left my phone on the table having just switched it on before I went to the car. She handed it to me…" His voice trailed off, the awful reality dawning on him.

"The message probably came through while you were out of the apartment." Dee shook his head in disbelief of their rotten luck. "She probably listened to it and deleted it. By saying I'd leave you alone if I got no reply she had the perfect way to keep us apart without even trying."

There was a heavy silence as they both contemplated how close they'd come to disaster. Neither doubted that any other inconsistencies they might recall could be linked to the girl that had fooled them all.

Dee studied his injured arm resting in the foam sling. There was something else that was troubling him, but he didn't feel comfortable voicing it to Ryo just yet. It was what Delaney had just said about their 'bad luck' when it came to police work. They were both damn good at their job, but it was fair to say that their jobs had led them into some exceptionally dangerous situations. _That_ was the problem. He'd come so close to losing Ryo and even though he hadn't, he still found himself entertaining thoughts of what might have been. He couldn't live through that – it would be worse than everything that had happened to him _combined_.

"Dee?"

Ryo was looking at him, trying to figure out what was wrong. He reached for his lover's hand and squeezed it gently. "Sorry. I was a million miles away then." He inclined his head towards the door. "Come on. We should go pick Bicky up before Cal's aunt realises what a brat he really is and turns him over to the authorities."

Ryo laughed. "That woman's a star. I can't believe she agreed to put him _and _the dog up at her house for a couple of nights." He rolled his eyes. "Let's hope he hasn't chewed any of her shoes."

"Oh yeah," Dee chuckled. "Because we all know Bicky's not happy unless he's got his teeth in a pair of sneakers."

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Dee had forgotten about Delaney's comment until, much later, when Ryo turned to him in bed. Despite the darkness, Dee could tell from the other man's breathing that he was not asleep.

"Dee? You awake?"

"Yeah. I was just about to ask you the same thing. What's up?"

Ryo moved in the darkness until he was resting on Dee's chest. Dee's arm came around him and began to gently trace a pattern on his bare shoulder.

"I just got to thinking – about something Mike Delaney said earlier, when he was here."

Dee stopped stroking, his rhythm broken. "What did he say?"

"He said that we should take early retirement – I know he was only kidding," he added hastily, "But I guess it made me think about me and you and well, us being cops." He lifted his head off Dee's chest and looked straight at him, his lover's face just about discernible in the light given off by the glowing digits of the digital clock. "I'm scared, Dee. I'm scared that next time we won't be so lucky, and I can't bear the thought of losing you, or leaving you and Bicky if anything happened to me."

Dee could hear the fear in his husband's voice. Somehow things seemed worse at night – like the darkness made it easier to be emotional and pessimistic, whereas the daylight gave a person the strength to banish such negative thoughts.

"It's everything we've worked for, I know, but I can't help but think that we'd be better off if we did a job that wasn't so unpredictable and dangerous. I'm sorry…"

"Hey, it's okay," Dee replied before he pulled Ryo forward and kissed him gently on the forehead. "To be honest, I'd had pretty much the same thought earlier."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but this isn't something we can just make a snap decision on. We need to weigh things up, talk things over. Let's just get all this crazy shit out the way first – then we'll start planning our future. Agreed?"

"Agreed," Ryo responded, relieved that Dee hadn't thought him crazy or over dramatic. He couldn't imagine not being a cop, but he couldn't imagine losing Dee either and from what his lover had just said, it seemed like he was having similar thoughts of his own.

They'd decide together, and only together, but Ryo didn't doubt that it was going to be one of the toughest decisions they would ever have to make.

TBC…


	27. Epilogue

**Author's note (worth reading, I promise!) – Ah well, here we are. The end at last. I hope everyone has enjoyed the ride and will be around for future fics, both in this arc and others. For everyone that has contributed, from proofreading to just reviewing with a quick 'I'm enjoying this – please keep writing' – THANK YOU. You have my heartfelt thanks. Writing can be hard when real life rudely wants a look-in, but your support definitely makes it worth it!**

**Love, hugs (and hughs) to my good friend, BlueSimplicity – although you may not have written any of it, you've contributed to this fic more than you could ever know. I've got my fingers crossed that you'll wanna be part of the Swordy rollercoaster in the future!**

**So why was this nonsense worth reading? Well, if you've stuck with me, you'll now know that on Saturday, I'll be posting a full, uncut version of this epilogue at Mediaminer and adultfanfiction, which includes the 'incredible experience' that Ryo and Dee partake in during this chapter. I didn't think you guys should have to go without a good bit of makeup sex! **

**So please, for the final time, leave a review either here or at Mediaminer et al when the chapter's up there. The last chapter got a really low number of reviews, so I'd love to hear from you, especially if you've never left a review before.**

**And now (to resounding cheers no doubt) I'll shut up. Later guys – I'll see you for the obligatory Christmas one-shot! – Swordy**

**Somewhere in Between**

**Epilogue**

It seemed fitting that the sky was grey and overcast. Dee could never understand people who said it was 'a good day for a funeral' when the sun shone. As far as he was concerned it seemed appropriate that the sky should also dress for the occasion when someone was being laid to rest. Beside him Ryo stared straight ahead. For all his beauty, Ryo's face could be so unreadable at times. They'd both individually come to the decision that they wanted to attend Stacey Kleppel's funeral but, now that they were here, it was impossible to tell whether Ryo was regretting his decision.

He was about to reach for Ryo's hand when the priest asked them to pray. Through long bangs, Dee studied the only other person present. Stacey's psychiatrist from Denver. It was a pretty sorry turnout, even for a life as short and troubled as Stacey's, and Dee felt that they'd made the right decision by attending.

When the service was over, the priest thanked them for coming and then hurried away, presumably to escape the gathering rain clouds overhead. Ever the one to come prepared, Ryo put up the large black umbrella when the first drops began to fall.

"Am I right in thinking that you are the gentlemen that Stacey hurt?"

The doctor was standing before them now, his demeanour indicating nervousness. Ryo glanced at Dee before he spoke. "Uh, yeah. My name is Randy McLain and this is my husband, Dee. You must be Dr. Hitchens?"

The smaller man nodded, the rain running in little rivulets through his thinning salt and pepper hair. "I'm surprised you came – I thought it would be just me here today."

The two men sensed that he wanted to talk, but the weather and current location felt prohibitive. "Would you like to have a drink with us?" Ryo asked with a smile. "There's a coffee shop nearby."

Directions were given and the three men hurried through the cemetery and back to their cars to escape from the rain.

The warm and inviting atmosphere and the aroma of freshly brewed coffee quickly banished the gloom as the two men found a table. They laid their damp overcoats across an empty chair and sat down to study the menu. Ryo, who was facing the door, waved when the doctor entered and made his way across to them.

"Found it okay?" Ryo said with a smile as Dee turned and plucked another menu from a nearby table.

"Yes, thank you." His returning smile was still nervous and the two detectives felt sure that he would be worrying about whether they blamed him for what had happened. While the waiter took their orders, the doctor took the opportunity to study the two men, noting one of them had a heavily bandaged hand.

"I know a little of what happened," Dr. Hitchens announced once the waitress had gone. "I trust you're both recovering from any injuries you received."

"Yeah, we're both okay," Dee replied, following the doctor's gaze down to his hand. "I'm right-handed so this isn't too bad. Believe me, we're just both glad that we're still here."

The doctor nodded. "I'm so sorry about what happened to you. She was my patient after all. I feel deeply responsible-"

"It's okay," Dee cut in. "From what we've been told, she was a pretty messed up lady."

Making no attempt to dispute the detective's choice of wording, Dr. Hitchens looked saddened. "She had a lot of problems, which just made me all the more determined to help her." His expression indicated that he had immersed himself in his memories. "She had an anger that was consuming her – she found fault in everyone and everything. If someone didn't measure up, she just cut them dead. When they _did_ measure up, then in her eyes they were perfection personified."

Dee smiled and winked at his lover. "See? I told you that you were perfect."

Ryo blushed slightly and turned back to the doctor. "Nobody's perfect – surely even she could see that."

The drinks arrived, forcing a break in the conversation. Dee swore as he spilled some sugar after opening the packet with his teeth and his one good hand. Dr. Hitchens wondered whether he should help, but, seeing that Ryo hadn't offered either, kept quiet. From initial impressions, the dark haired man possessed a quiet strength and determination that extended to even the most menial tasks.

"Her condition meant that she would choose to ignore anything that didn't sit right with the image she had created."

"Like me being gay?"

"Exactly. No matter how many times she was confronted with your sexuality, she would have excused it away in her own mind. In her eyes, not only were you were a heterosexual male, but you were a heterosexual male in a relationship with _her_. Any incongruities that others pointed out to her would have made her angry."

Ryo looked at Dee. "That explains why she went ballistic at Kelly Capland," he said, recalling the statement they had obtained from the recovering Australian.

"I know this is probably no consolation to you both, but I genuinely cared about Stacey's welfare. I tried to help her so much, but her demons were obviously too numerous." His sorrow was apparent. "When she moved to New York, she wrote to me saying she wanted to sever all contact with me. I was bound to respecting her wishes, even though her request concerned me."

"Don't feel guilty. Everyone should have someone to look out for them," Dee said, thinking of Penguin and Jess. "You tried your best." He looked to Ryo who nodded his agreement.

The doctor smiled gratefully. "I'm really glad I had the opportunity to meet you both. Stacey could have done so much damage and yet you're obviously a really strong couple."

The two men looked at each other, equally aware of how close they'd come to disaster, but both glad to get this endorsement of their relationship.

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Rose had given them the rest of the week off. With so much to talk about, they both agreed that they should get out of the city for the remaining three days before they were due back at the precinct. The apartment had too many bad memories and they were conscious that the friends they were currently lodging with had done more than enough already.

"We're going to Montauk," Dee announced to Drake as he finished packing. The other man, fresh off his shift, looked surprised.

"Cool. How long for?"

"'Til Sunday. We're both due back in work on Monday."

Drake sensed something, hesitation perhaps, in Dee's response, but didn't question it.

"Besides, it's our wedding anniversary on Sunday."

"Sunday? Wow…" Drake appeared as stunned as Dee had been that an entire year had passed. "So things are back on track with you and Ryo?"

Dee zipped up his bag and tested the weight of it before he sat down on the bed and looked up at his friend, still hovering in the doorway.

"We've got a lot of things to talk about, but I think the signs are good."

Drake indicated his approval. "So is Bicky going with you or did he not figure in your plans for a romantic getaway?"

"Actually," Dee said, thinking how far he'd come from when he'd first become involved with Ryo and his unconventional family. "I asked him and Cal to come, but they chose not to. I think they realised that we needed to do some serious talking and they figured that they'd give us the space. They're good kids."

"Definitely."

Ryo arrived shortly after. He smiled at his husband, seeing the other man emerging from the bedroom with his bags.

"All ready?"

Dee nodded, glancing across at Drake who was also smiling. "You sure you don't mind keeping an eye on our apartment?"

"Nope. Now you kids go and have a good time."

The three and a half hour drive to Montauk passed quickly. They chatted like long-time friends, laughed, sung along to the radio and playfully bickered. They were both aware that they had come away to talk – a necessity if they were to truly salvage their relationship – but for now, they would just enjoy being together.

"God, this is fucking annoying."

Ryo turned from the wheel to see what Dee was doing. The other man was smoking a cigarette and, as far as he could tell, nothing was obviously wrong. "Dee?"

Dee waved the cigarette as if it _should_ be obvious. "I'm having to smoke with my right hand. It's really weird."

"But you're right handed. Why's it so weird?"

"Because smoking is usually one of the things I do while I'm multi-tasking. I'm used to doing it with my left."

Ryo chuckled. "I thought men couldn't multi-task?" A quick glance at his lover confirmed the other man's indignation.

"Are you questioning my masculinity, Ryo?"

Full blown laughter now. "With the amount of testosterone you've got? Are you kidding?"

They arrived in Montauk shortly before lunch. Although not the warmest of days, the sky was bright and the roar of the ocean captivated the two men for several minutes as they stood beside the car, their hair ruffled by the bracing sea breeze. Neither spoke for a moment, and each man felt it only fair to leave the other alone with his thoughts. Eventually Dee reached out, his hand finding Ryo's and their fingers entwined. Ryo looked over at the dark haired man and smiled.

"Should we go and check out our accommodations?"

"Sure."

The house they had rented looked out onto the ocean, its pathway strewn with sand and other sea debris. The white fascia was newly painted, giving the building a freshness that ensured it was perfectly placed in its location, with the crashing ocean and Montauk Lighthouse in the distance.

"This is fantastic," Ryo remarked as he sunk into the large leather couch and studied the beautifully decorated living room.

Dee smiled. "I'm glad you approve. JJ told me about this place. Maybe he's not a complete dipshit after all."

"Dee, that's not nice." Ryo rebuked his lover, although he knew he was only joking.

A dark eyebrow quirked upwards. "You wouldn't be saying that if you knew he'd followed up the suggestion by telling me what he'd like to do to me here. I swear, my ears nearly bled."

Ryo frowned. "You're right – he _is_ a dipshit."

Dee laughed, loving when the other man's jealousy was pricked, not that he would ever _admit_ that JJ could still evoke that feeling in him.

"Well, you'll just have to show him who's the boss by telling him what you did to me here." He winked, the action raising a smile from the blond.

"Maybe I will."

"Sounds good."

They unpacked and went out for a walk, agreeing that they would use the excursion to choose somewhere to eat that night. They settled on a quaint Italian restaurant and booked a table before returning to their lodgings to freshen up. Although nothing had been said, both knew it still wasn't the right time to start talking – that could wait until tomorrow. Tonight was just about being together. The meal was delicious and they retired to bed with full stomachs and contented hearts. Sleep enveloped them both quickly as they lay together in the luxurious king-sized bed.

Following breakfast the next morning, the two men decided to take another walk. JJ had suggested that they take a walk out to the Montauk Lighthouse and it seemed like a good choice, knowing the inevitable discussion they were likely to have.

It started innocuously enough – Ryo simply making reference to their first wedding anniversary the following day. Conversation then moved retrospectively to their actual wedding day and the arrangements that had encompassed the months that had preceded it. Eventually they reached the moment of the proposal – technically Ryo's second attempt – when Dee had prompted his lover to ask him again, even though he had turned him down once before. It had felt right, Dee explained as they walked together along the beach, after he had returned from England with everything straight in his mind.

"You never went into too much detail about what happened during that month," Ryo said gently, sensing Dee's tacit permission to move into this conversational territory. "You told me all about the people you were there with and their problems, but not about what you actually did while you were there. Obviously you were much healed, but I don't really know how that happened."

Dee looked at him and nodded, knowing it was true. He'd told Ryo the general agenda of the group and shared his admiration for the therapists he'd worked with, but the amount he'd held back clearly outweighed the amount he'd shared. He knew Ryo wanted to know more, and before they'd left New York he'd alluded to the fact that he would tell him anything he wanted to know. Ryo waited patiently as he lit a cigarette and contemplated where to start.

"We talked _a lot _– not just about the experiences that had brought us to the group, but why we had chosen our respective careers. Being asked to talk about Jess and why I was so determined to make it was really powerful. All that kind of stuff gets buried but something as simple as bringing it to the surface was a strong motivator to make the most of the help they were offering."

Dee had been looking out to the horizon as he smoked, but his gaze suddenly fell upon Ryo, his green eyes reflecting his sincerity. "When I first got there, I had no idea about what had really happened to me. It came out part way through, during a session where I received relaxation instruction before I was asked any questions."

"Like hypnosis?" Ryo asked.

"Kinda, I guess. Whatever it was, it allowed stuff to come out of my memories that I'd totally forgotten about. I didn't even realise what I was saying - it was my therapist who brought it to my attention."

He could sense Ryo's hesitation before the other man said finally. "And what _were_ you saying?"

Dee sighed, his memory returning to that particular time in his life. It didn't hurt to think about that period now, but neither did he enjoy revisiting it. "I started talking about someone who Lou realised wasn't Liam Patterson. When she queried who I was talking about, I freaked."

He looked at Ryo and gave the intently-listening man a sad smile. "After that, I started to piece things together, but I still wasn't ready to admit that anything had happened. I lied to Lou and I tried to lie to myself." Now his smile was humourless. "It didn't work."

"What happened then?" Ryo asked. He was watching Dee carefully - any sign that his lover was uncomfortable with telling his story and he would tell him to stop, that he didn't have to know. For now Dee looked calm, like he was no longer emotionally affected by what he'd been through. Yet again, Ryo was struck by his lover's strength.

"It was Danny that made me see how things were. He felt like he'd failed because he thought that I was cured and he wasn't. I had to admit to him then that it wasn't true, and obviously he wanted to know why. For the first time, I started to talk about what really happened."

Ryo found himself swallowing hard, knowing they had reached the juncture in the conversation where he would finally hear what he did and didn't want to know. He didn't speak, allowing Dee to carry on where he'd left off.

"Someone else had come to check on me one day – a friend of the younger brother. I still don't remember everything because I was pretty out of it, but I do remember him giving me an ultimatum – I let him do what he wanted to me without complaint or he would let Liam Patterson hurt you and Bicky."

"Dear God, Dee…"

"It's okay." Dee stared straight ahead, his dark hair blowing about his face. Down on the beach a family was playing together, the father and his daughter laughing as they posed in front of the sandcastle they'd built while the mother took a photo. He watched them for a moment before he continued. "Worse things have happened to other people – hell, as cops we know that better than anyone. I wasn't raped and I wasn't made to do anything. The irony is I probably have Liam Patterson to thank for that – his beating made me so ill that there was very little his friend could actually do to me. It was mainly mental stuff, you know? Sometimes the threat is worse than the punishment.

"I was shocked that something could have happened to me that I didn't remember and that's why I freaked. When your mind is a blank you automatically assume the worst. Then I started to piece things together and realised that the worst hadn't happened. In order to recover, I knew I needed to focus on that so that I wouldn't be controlled by some jerk who just took advantage of the situation. I'm stronger than that, Ryo."

The blond smiled and nodded. "I know you are, Dee. I know you are." He faltered suddenly, his smile now gone. "There was something else I wanted to ask you."

Dee could sense it was important. "Okay, shoot."

"When I had to see the precinct shrink, she asked if I was aware that you'd admitted to having suicidal thoughts." He looked haunted. "I had _no idea_. I felt even more like I didn't know you at all. "

Dee nodded silently, aware how shocked he would be if he were to discover that information about Ryo, and all from people that weren't as close to his lover as he was. "I won't lie to you, Ryo," he said, knowing what the other man was indirectly asking. "I thought about suicide because I didn't think I would be worthy of you anymore. But," – he cut off the anticipated protest – "I was still confused about what had happened to me and I know I wasn't thinking straight. I would never do that to you, Ryo. I couldn't cause you that kind of pain – I love you too much."

He suddenly looked contrite. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything to you, about any of it – I swear I thought it was for the best. I didn't want you to feel responsible and I didn't want it to change how you were around me. I needed to come home and things be the same between us. Finding out I was diabetic had already changed things a little – I didn't need anything else adding to that."

"You don't have to apologise, Dee. I understand." Ryo stepped forward so that they were closer. "While we were apart recently I did a lot of thinking. I tried to put myself in your shoes and I realised that what you did made sense. Obviously I want you to feel like you can talk to me about anything, and I'd prefer it if we didn't have secrets from each other, but I know that if we do, there'll be a good reason for it and we just need to trust each other."

Dee grinned as he grabbed Ryo's hand and pulled him in for a kiss. The embrace was long and lingering and attracted a few stares from passing tourists.

"Love you, Ryo," Dee said when they eventually pulled apart. "And thank you."

"For what?"

"For being you. And for being with me."

Ryo laughed. "It's easy to be with you, Dee. You're amazing."

"Ditto."

They both started to walk, shoulder to shoulder, lost in their own thoughts. Both felt a sense of completion having had this conversation and they now knew that they could finally lay the ghosts of last year to rest.

"Come on," Dee announced, breaking to silence as he slung his arm around his lover's shoulder. "Let's go and get something to eat." He winked. "Being amazing creates one hell of an appetite."

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Their good moods were further enhanced by the activities of the afternoon. Ryo's suggestion to try something new when they were intimate was well received and as the evening drew in, they basked in the afterglow of the incredible experience. Only when morning was upon them did the other issue they needed to discuss get raised. Tentatively, Dee mentioned that they were due back in work on Monday and reminded Ryo of the discussion that they'd had before they'd left New York.

"So what do we do?" Ryo asked, as he cleared away the breakfast dishes. He turned to look at Dee, still sitting at the table flexing the fingers of his left hand with frown-inducing effort. Dee looked up.

"I dunno. I think whether we quit or not has to be a joint decision, but there's a lot to think about first."

Ryo nodded. "And I don't want to influence your decision…"

"Ditto. Okay, how about this. Let's spend the morning apart, do whatever, then we can meet up at lunch to give our decision."

"That sounds okay," Ryo agreed.

Once dressed, Dee announced that he was heading out to do his thinking in the fresh air. He left Ryo at the house and set off down to the beach, initially finding it difficult to get his mind off the amazing sex they'd had the day before and onto the serious business of their future.

He sat for a while watching a guy throwing a Frisbee for his highly excitable mongrel dog, laughing as the mutt did backflips, much to the delight of the watching audience. He thought of Bright and wished his own canine companion was here – somehow walking with the dog helped him to think, and help was exactly what he needed right now. He wandered on, eventually deciding to stop off for a drink at the beach front bar where they'd arranged to meet for lunch. He opted to sit at the bar and watch the world go by, but it wasn't long before he attracted the attention of the otherwise unoccupied barman. He looked to be in his early twenties and was impressed when he learnt that Dee was a cop. Dee didn't have the heart to tell him he might not be for much longer.

"I wanna study medicine," the young guy explained as he supplied Dee with a second drink on the house. "But I gotta get my grades up first. I screwed around a lot at school so now I gotta go back and re-take a few subjects." He rolled his eyes as he grinned. "I wish someone had told me to get my head down and study first time around."

Dee laughed as he nodded his agreement. "I hear you. I wasn't exactly a model student either. I really had my work cut out to get in the academy – not just with the subjects, but with convincing other people that I was dedicated enough to do it. I had one person that always believed in me and I vowed I wouldn't let her down."

He suddenly thought of Penguin and what she had sacrificed to make sure that he realised his dreams. She would understand if he explained why he and Ryo were quitting, but he couldn't help but think he would be disappointing her with the decision. She'd invested so much in him.

And then there was Jess.

He'd promised the dying man that he would be the cop Jess had found it impossible to be. Only yesterday he'd told Ryo that thinking about Jess had motivated him to go the distance in England. Could he really go back on that?

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Ryo had decided that Dee was onto something by taking his thinking outside. The day was promising to be clear and warm and, despite the onerous task at hand, he felt optimistic about what might lie ahead. He'd seen Dee heading towards the beach so he left the house and set off into town. He walked wherever his feet took him, suddenly interested in the people going about their business around him. He never imagined being anything other than a cop. What would they do if they both agreed that they should find a less dangerous career? He tried to imagine himself and Dee in a range of other jobs, on a couple of occasions finding himself smiling or chuckling out loud as he pictured his lover as everything from a chef to a mailman.

He had stopped to watch some workmen on a construction site, entertaining a slightly perverted notion of Dee in a hardhat, tight t-shirt and almost indecent denim cut offs when he found himself thrown forward as someone crashed into him. The startled young man in question leapt to his feet and, before Ryo could check he was okay, set off running. His cop instinct fired and Ryo set off at a sprint, his actions endorsed by a shout of 'stop him!' from a male voice somewhere behind him. The runaway glanced back to find, to his horror, the determined face of Ryo McLain barrelling down on him.

He ducked down an alleyway, tipping garbage cans over to stall his pursuers. Ryo leapt one, then slipped on some spilled rotting food that had fallen from another, his left knee colliding with the dirty floor before he regained his footing and pushed on. Behind him, Ryo could hear at least two other people following him, their angry shouts telling him that they were probably the ones on the receiving end of whatever the young man had done.

The alley was a dead end, but the wall blocking it wasn't insurmountable. Immediately, Ryo knew the young man was going to try and jump so with one final push, he shortened the distance and made a dive for the fleeing youth. He struck gold, catching him around the legs and sending them both crashing to the floor.

"Keep hold of him!" one of the men yelled.

_Like I'm gonna do anything else_, Ryo thought to himself as he grappled with the struggling man. Eventually he had him pinned and the fight was over.

"You little bastard," the taller of the two pursuers growled as he walked towards Ryo and his prisoner. He turned to the blond and nodded gratefully. "Thanks for that, buddy. You can go now. I'll deal with him."

"Now hold on," Ryo said firmly, sensing the surge of fear from the man beneath him. "I want to know what he did."

"He stole from our shop," the smaller one replied.

"Did you call the police?"

"Of course," the other man snorted. "They're on their way. I think there's just time to have a little fun before they get here. Now I'll ask you again – get out of the way."

"No."

The muscle of the operation looked stunned. Clearly 'no' was a word he didn't hear too often. He didn't step forward though – there was warning in the dark eyes looking back at him that told him the blond was serious.

"My name is Detective McLain and I'm with the NYPD." His voice was clear and authoritative. "I appreciate that you're angry with this guy, but two wrongs don't make a right. Carry on and I'll let him go and arrest you instead, got it?"

The larger man seemed to weigh up what he'd been told before he gave a grudging nod of agreement and held his hands up in a gesture of defeat. The cops arrived shortly after and the young man was handcuffed and placed in the back of the car while statements were taken from all other parties involved.

"Are you sure you don't wanna get yourself checked out?" the cop asked Ryo, gesturing towards his grazed and bleeding elbows where he'd dived to stop the other man escaping. Ryo looked down, more annoyed about his dirty jeans than a few scrapes.

"I'm fine. A little dirtier than I'd hoped to be going on a lunch date, but never mind…"

The cop laughed. "I'm sure she won't mind."

Ryo smiled as he set off to the beach, too aware that he was late for meeting Dee to bother setting the other man straight about the gender of his date. Even though he hadn't had any time to think about their future, Ryo knew he had his answer. The call to action had come and he hadn't hesitated, even though now that he thought about it, it had been exactly the same situation that had led them into all the trouble with Laura. He'd _never_ hesitate, forcing him to face the fact that his instincts knew exactly what line of business he should be in.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Ah, you decided to turn up… what the hell happened to you?"

Ryo rolled his eyes while making a futile attempt to brush down his jeans. "I decided that I could do with a little exercise."

"Huh?"

"Don't ask. I'll explain later."

Dee nodded, crushing his cigarette into the ashtray on the bar. "So, have you come to a decision?"

"Yeah, you?"

"Yeah."

There was an awkward silence, which Dee eventually broke. "Okay, how about we write down what we've decided for the other to read, then we won't have to worry about influencing each other's decisions?"

Ryo smiled, impressed. "Okay. Sounds sensible."

Dee secured pens and paper from his new friend behind the bar and they moved to separate tables to write what they wanted to do. It took literally seconds – there was no last minute reconsidering for either of them. Papers folded, they exchanged them, expressions suddenly solemn.

"And we stand by this if we've both written the same thing?" Dee asked.

Ryo nodded. "What if we've made different decisions?"

"Dunno. Guess we should cross that bridge if we come to it."

"Okay."

Another silence. Eventually they both laughed, surprised by how nervous they were.

"Together," Dee said. Once Ryo had nodded his agreement, he unfolded the piece of paper his lover had given him, letting out a breath as the words came into view.

_I want to stay._

The blond held the paper, trying to imagine what was inside. He couldn't look at Dee until he'd read it – he'd know with just one glance at the other man whether they were on the same wavelength or not. He couldn't put it off any longer. As he began to unfold the note, his heart leapt as the word 'quit' came into view. He opened his mouth to speak, but the words caught in his throat.

_I can't quit…_

The trapped words were replaced by a lump of emotion. He knew Dee's words had come from the heart. Finally he could look up and his growing smile was met by a similar one on his lover's face.

"Guess we're staying?" Dee asked. "Although it's probably for the best. God only knows what we'd have done to earn the dollars."

"Uh huh." Ryo laughed out loud, wondering if he should share his vision of Dee as a builder. "McLain and McLain are back in business as of tomorrow."

Dee had started to laugh before he remembered something and his expression froze. Ryo saw it.

"Dee? What's the matter?"

The other man hesitated, but only briefly. "I guess you should know that when we were apart, I requested a transfer. I'm really sorry, Ryo, but I just couldn't see how we could work together if we'd separated-"

"It's okay," Ryo said, looking slightly sheepish. "I already knew because I'd been to see Rose about doing the same thing myself."

Dee looked shocked, but nodded anyway. "Well at least it shows we were on the same wavelength even though we weren't together. Anyway, I gotta make a call. I told the chief to put the request in before I changed my mind and he said it would be in place by the time I was coming back to work."

He took his cell phone out of his pocket and dialled the precinct, asking to be connected to the chief. He wandered away as he waited for their superior to come on the line. The conversation was brief, but Ryo sensed it had gone well as he listened to Dee laugh before he hung up. The dark haired man walked back towards the bar, grinning.

"So?"

Dee shook his head, still chuckling. "He never submitted my request. Seems like the old badger had more faith in us than we did."

"Remind me to thank him when we get back."

"Will do," Dee replied, slinging his arm around his lover's shoulder. "Now, let's get some lunch and you can tell me all about how you ended up with skinned elbows."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_Six months later…_

"Dee? Rose is asking for your report from the Porter case. _Now_." Wisely Drake covered the mouthpiece of the phone as his colleague launched into an expletive-ridden rant. He waited until Dee had finished before he put the phone back to his ear and said: "Dee says he'll get it right to you, Sir." He hung up and was met by a penetrating glare.

"Gee thanks, Parker. What d'you do for an encore? Tell Rose I use his phone to make long distance calls when he's not here?"

"You _do _use his phone to make long distance calls when he's not here."

Dee looked at him like he was the stupidest person on the planet. "Yeah, but you don't _tell_ him."

Drake rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, just get him that report before he comes down here and finds a million and one other things that he wants finished yesterday."

For a brief moment, Drake thought his colleague had actually developed a sense of urgency before he realised that the fruits of Dee's sudden search was a cigarette. Shaking his head in despair, he returned to his own work, determined to get his paperwork done and get out of the office before Rose made good on his threat and came down. Salvation entered shortly after in the form of Ryo, who informed his partner that he had seen Rose and personally handed him the missing report.

"You see?" Dee said to Drake, grinning broadly. "This is why I married him."

His comment was met by a glare from the blond. "Yeah well, remember you promised you'd take Bicky and his friends to their school dance tonight as payment for me doing _your_ report."

"Shit…"

"_And_ pick them up."

"Double shit. Man, I need a vacation."

"You win some, you lose some, eh?" Drake chuckled as the door behind him opened. He turned and smiled at the attractive visitor. "Hi. Can I help you?"

The slim, dark haired woman smiled nervously. "Sorry to interrupt, your desk officer told me to come up. I'm looking for Detective Dee McLain."

Ryo and Drake turned to Dee, who quickly stubbed out his cigarette and stood up, extending his hand across the desk. "That would be me. What can I do for you, Miss…?"

"Peters. Sara Peters." She took the empty seat that Dee gestured to and listened as he introduced the other men in the room. Then it was time to tell her story.

"I live in Brooklyn. My boyfriend and I recently moved there from Chicago. The house we moved to had been used as a hostel for young people many years before, so the previous owners told us. About a month ago when we were clearing some of the rooms we found an unopened letter. It wasn't addressed to the people we bought the house off so we figured it must have been to someone who had lived there when it was a hostel and they hadn't known who to forward it onto. We decided to open it." She smiled at the three intently listening men.

"And a month later I can't believe I've finally found you."

"Sorry," Dee replied, scratching his head and frowning. "I'm not sure I understand."

"Most of the letter was just news from a friend to a friend. If that had been it, we probably wouldn't have done anything, but there was a message the writer of the letter wanted the recipient to pass on. When we read it, we decided we'd do everything we could to pass on that message as it sounded important. Pardon the pun, but it's taken a lot of detective work."

She reached into the bag she had on her knee and pulled out a yellowing envelope, which she passed across the desk to Dee. He studied it for a moment, noting the Spanish stamp and postmark and the strangely familiar handwriting, before he found the letter inside. There was silence as he read it, his eyes quickly finding the part she had mentioned – and his name.

_And finally, I really need you to do me a favour. I need you to let Dee and the others know I'm okay. They're probably so angry with me for just disappearing… which is why I've chickened out of contacting them directly. I left so suddenly, I'm worried that they'll think something bad has happened to me. Tell them I'm fine and I'm happy. Maybe one day I'll come back and explain._

_Tyler_

"Dee?"

The stunned man looked up to be met by Ryo's questioning gaze. No wonder the handwriting had looked familiar. "It's from Tyler."

He could understand why Ryo suddenly looked worried, but he shook his head. "It's her writing, Ryo, I know it!"

"That's wonderful. Does she say where she is?"

After the sudden moment of elation, Dee felt crestfallen. There was no address at the top of the letter. "The postmark is Spain," he said flatly, knowing that did nothing to narrow down a possible location.

"There was this too," Sara said, going back into her bag. This time she handed Dee a photograph. "I think this might help."

The picture showed a grinning girl, her arms slung around the shoulders of two similarly aged girls. They were standing in front of a bar which featured a harbour as its backdrop and wearing the same t-shirts with a logo on the front that he couldn't quite make out. She looked happy and tanned and Dee knew without a shadow of doubt that he was staring at the face of Tyler Brown.

"Turn it over."

He did as instructed, to find more of the familiar handwriting.

_Hollywood Bar, Alicante._

He laughed out loud as he read it, recalling an age-old conversation he had had with a young and petulant Tyler when she'd vowed she'd make it to Hollywood one day. She'd been half-right at least. Turning the photo back over, he realised that the logo on the girls' t-shirts bore the name of the bar, indicating that they were staff rather than clientele. For the first time in years, he had a clue as to where she was.

"Dee?" Ryo asked.

"She's in Spain," he replied, holding out the photograph for his lover to see. "Alicante."

"The postmark is several years ago," Sara warned, seeing the man's obvious excitement.

"But it's a start," Dee replied.

Drake grinned. "Well, you said you wanted a vacation."

The partners and lovers exchanged glances. Ryo shrugged, a smile gracing his features. He knew Dee, and that it would be pointless to argue otherwise.

"I hear Spain is nice this time of year."

END

**Please don't forget to read the author's note if you skipped it! **


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